H  McfiHinney, 

NEWLONDOS.OHIO. 


No. 


(ttBRAFY 
.JU.NiyER.sn. 
•  SAN-W 


BY 


AUTHOR    Or    "CHRISTMAS    EVANS,"     "OLIVER    CROMWELL,11     "ROMANCE    OT 
BIOGRAPHY,"    STC.,  ETC. 


FUNK  &  WAGNALLS  COMPANY 

NK\V  YORK  AND  LONDON 


PUBLISHERS'    NOTICE. 


The  advance  sheets  of  this  work  have  been  pent  to  us  by  the  Author  as  fast  as 
they  could  be  got  ready.  We  have  had  several  changes  made  in  the  body  of  the 
book— adding  an  Index,  and  other  improvements.  We  realized  the  fact  that  in 
the  United  States  and  in  Canada  there  are  almost  as  many  Scotch,  and  people  of 
Scotch  descent,  as  there  are  in  Scotland  itself.  They  are  indeed  a  grand  and 
peculiar  race  of  people,  and  Paxton  Hood,  we  believe,  is  of  all  other  writers  tne 
man  to  do  them  justice.  We  issue  the  volume  with  full  confidence  that  it  will  take 
favorably  with  our  readers. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1883,  by 

FUNK  &  WAGNALLS, 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress  at  Washington,  D.  C. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 
THE  OLI>  SCOTTISH  MINISTER, 


CHAPTER  II. 
CHARACTERISTICS  OF  SCOTTISH  HUMOR,         ....       33 

CHAPTER  III. 
THE  HUMORS  OF  SCOTTISH  CHARACTER,        .        .       .        .       43 

CHAPTER  IV. 
SOME  VARIETIES  OF  SCOTTISH  SUPERSTITION,       ...        74 

CHAPTER  V. 
THE  SCOT  ABROAD,         , 94 

CHAPTER  VI. 
THE  HUMORS  OK  THE  SCOTTISH  DIAI.KCT,     ....      103 

CHAPTER  VII. 
THE  OLD  SCOTTISH  LAWYERS  AND  THE  LAW  COURTS,        .      114 

CHAPTER  Vin. 
OLD  EDINBURGH,  13-J 


IV  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  IX. 

PAGE 

THE  OLD  SCOTTISH  LADY 151 

CHAPTER  X. 

SCOTTISH  PROVERBIAL  PHILOSOPHY, 171 

CHAPTER  XI. 
THE  OLD  SCOTTISH  SABBATH, 190 

CHAPTER  XII. 
NORTHERN  LIGHTS,          .       .  198 


SCOTTISH  CHARACTERISTICS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    MINISTER. 

IN  every  estimate  of  Scottish  character  and  humor  the  old 
minister  furnishes  a  singular  variety  of  illustrations,  marking  a 
very  distinct  and  individual  type.  Among  ministers  of  all 
orders,  and  especially  in  a  time  not  very  far  remote,  there  was 
much  more  of  a  brotherly  resemblance  than  a  brotherly  differ- 
ence ;  for  they  might  belong  to  the  Establishment,  or  not  ;  they 
might  belong  to  the  "  United  Presbyterian,"  the  "  Relief,"  or 
the  "  Antiburgher"  communions,  but  they  were  usually  schol- 
ars and  men  of  education  ;  they  were  versed  in  their  "  human- 
ities ;"  the  framework  of  their  theology  was  uniformly  built  up 
from  the  Confession  of  the  Westminster  Assembly,  and  their 
church  government  was  uniformly  Presbyterian.  Thus  they  all 
resembled  each  other,  and  from  their  number  it  is  very  easy  to 
distinguish  many  rich  and  rare  originals,  but  the  uniformity  of 
the  type  holds  even  in  circumstances  which  seem  to  differ. 

Nor  was  this  national  type  Presbyterian  only.  Episcopacy 
and  Prelacy  have  been  supposed  to  be,  until  very  recently, 
especially  hateful  to  the  Scottish  mind  ;  but  John  Skinner,  the 
Episcopal  clergyman  of  Longside,  in  Aberdeenshire,  for  sixty- 
four  years  during  the  last  century,  was  as  true  to  the  type  as 
any  whose  ecclesiastical  relations  we  have  indicated.  He  was 


6  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

the  friend  of  Robert  Burns,  and  the  author  of  the  famous  and 
inspiring  Scotch  song,  or  reel,  "  Tullochgorum  ;"  but  he  was 
the  author  also  of  a  singularly  interesting  "  Dissertation  on  the 
Shekinah,  or  Divine  Presence  with  the  Church,  or  People  of 
God,"  and  of  one  of  the  longest  and  most  learned  of  the  Exposi- 
tions of  "  the  Song  of  Solomon."  For  upward  of  half  a  century 
he  lived  in  his  manse,  a  little  low-thatched  abode,  ' '  far  from  the 
madding  crowd,"  apart  from  any  public  road,  in  a  district  of 
Scotland  removed  from  any  animating  local  scenery  :  his 
romantic  retreat  was  by  a  sedgy  burn,  or  brook,  which,  with- 
out the  semblance  of  a  current,  served  as  a  fence  on  one  side 
to  his  garden.  His  manse  stood  in  a  dreary  plain,  almost  two 
miles  square,  in  which  neither  tree,  nor  stone,  nor  shrub — un- 
less a  straggling  bush  of  broom  deserved  the  name — was  to  be 
seen,  and  there  it  was  his  consolation  to  say,  "  My  taper  never 
burns  in  vain."  The  light  was  always  at  night  shining  in  his 
window  ;  he  never  permitted  curtain  or  shutter  to  intercept  its 
rays.  He  used  to  say,  "  It  may  cheer  some  roaming  youth,  or 
solitary  traveller,  since  the  Polar  Star  is  not  truer  to  its  position 
than  is  the  position  of  the  Linshart  (the  name  of  his  house)  in 
its  rise  and  setting,  true  to  the  Buchan  Hind."  He  used  to 
say,  while  there  was  a  chance  of  any  human  creature  traversing 
the  "Lang-gate"  he  could  not  bear  to  go  to  bed.  John  Skinner, 
with  his  humor,  his  strait  theology,  his  benevolent  common- 
sense,  has  always  seemed  a  fine  specimen  of  the  old  Scottish 
minister,  although  of  a  communion  which  has  never  been 
acceptable  to  the  Scottish  mind. 

The  biographies  of  such  men  are  innumerable.  A  charming 
picture  Dr.  Norman  Macleod  gives  of  his  father's  life  among 
the  old  hills  of  Morvern  ;  and  it  may  probably  stand  as  a  beau- 
tiful photograph  of  many  a  Scottish  minister  in  his  relation  to 
his  household  and  his  pariah.  "  Were  I  asked,"  says  the  son, 
"  what  there  was  in  my  father's  teaching  and  training  that  did 
us  all  so  much  good,  I  would  say,  both  in  regard  to  him  and 
my  beloved  mother,  that  it  was  love  and  truth.  They  were 
both  so  real  and  human.  No  cranks,  twists,  crotchets,  isms,  or 


THK    OLD    SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  7 

systems  of  any  kind,  but  loving,  sympathizing  ;  giving  a  genu- 
ine blowng  up  when  it  was  needed,  but  passing  by  trifles,  fail- 
ures, infirmities,  without  making  a  fuss.  The  liberty  they  gave 
was  as  wise  as  the  restraint  they  imposed.  Their  home  was 
happy,  intensely  happy.  Christianity  was  a  thing  taken  for 
granted,  and  not  enforced  with  scowl  and  frown.  I  never 
heard  my  father  speak  of  Calvinism,  Arminianism,  Presbyte- 
rianism,  or  Episcopacy,  or  exaggerate  doctrinal  differences,  in 
my  life.  I  had  to  study  all  these  questions  after  I  left  home. 
I  thank  God  for  his  free,  loving,  sympathizing,  and  honest 
heart.  He  might  have  made  me  a  slave  to  any  '  ism. '  He 
left  me  free  to  love  Christ  and  Christians."  And  this  pleasant 
picture  of  the  manse  of  the  patriarchal  minister  of  Morvern  re- 
minds us  of  that  other  picture  of  the  Scottish  minister  and  his 
work,  from  the  same  pen,  in  the  "  Reminiscences  of  a  High- 
land Parish,"  for  which  most  likely  the  ancient  father  fur- 
nished the  original. 

We  are  apt  to  think  of  the  old  Scottish  minister  as  usually 
living  in  wild  scenes,  amid  scattered  mountain  hamlets,  amid 
wide  and  far-spreading  moors,  amid  "  the  sheep  that  is  among 
the  lonely  hills,"  the  wail  of  plovers,  and  the  songs  of  moun- 
tain streams.  But  this  separation  from  cities,  and  from  what 
is  called  cultivated  society,  must  not,  therefore,  imply,  in  this 
instance,  a  character  either  less  cultivated  or  less  powerful,  or, 
in  its  sphere,  less  influential  ;  "  strongest  minds,"  says  Words- 
worth, in  his  fine  portrayal  of  just  such  a  character  as  we  are 

attempting  to  delineate — 

"  Strongest  minds 

Are  often  those  of  whom  the  noisy  world 
Hears  least." 

There  were  remarkable  oddities  in  the  Scottish  ministry  in 
the  times  of  old.  Mr.  Kennedy,  in  "  The  Days  of  Our 
Fathers  in  Ross-shire,"  recites,  with  admiration,  the  life  of  Mr. 
Sage,  the  pastor  of  the  kirk  of  Lochcarron.  He  found  his  par- 
ish in  a  state  of  extreme  depravity,  and  he*  made  friends  with 
the  strongest  man  in  the  parish.  '•  Now,  Rory,"  he  said, 


SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  I'm  the  minister,  and  you  must  be  my  elder,  and  we  must 
see  to  it  that  all  the  people  attend  church,  observe  the  Sab- 
bath, and  conduct  themselves  properly."  So  it  seems  to  be 
true  that  between  them  they  dragged  the  idlers  into  the  church, 
locked  the  door,  and  returned  to  catch  more  ;  then  the  minis- 
ter mounted  the  pulpit.  Rory  stood  at  the  door  with  his 
cudgel,  and  the  service  proceeded.  Mr.  Kennedy  says  one  of 
the  earliest  sermons  was  blessed  to  the  conversion  of  Rory  ; 
and  the  whole  parish,  beneath  Mr.  Sage's  pastorate,  became 
remarkable  for  its  orthodoxy  of  doctrine  and  behavior.  This 
is  a  story  like  that  of  our  William  Grimshaw,  of  Haworth,  who 
used  to  go  out  on  the  Sabbath  morning  through  his  long-neg- 
lected parish,  and  literally  compel  the  people  to  come  into  the 
church.  Before  long  it  was  a  new  place,  and  the  good  minis- 
ter was  as  much  loved  as  he  had  been  first  feared,  and  then 
respected. 

Johnson,  in  his  "  Journey  in  the  Western  Islands,"  gives 
us  fine  glimpses  of  the  old  Scottish  minister.  Mr.  Maclean, 
on  the  Isle  of  Coll,  he  says,  had  the  reputation  of  great  learn- 
ing. He  was  seventy-seven  years  old,  but  not  infirm,  "  with  a 
look  of  venerable  dignity,"  says  Johnson,  "  excelling  what  I 
remember  in  any  other  man;  we  found  him,"  continues  the 
doctor,  "  in  a  hut — that  is,  a  house  of  only  one  floor,  but  with 
windows  and  chimney,  and  not  inelegantly  furnished."  In 
Skye,  he  says  of  another  clergyman,  Mr.  McQueen,  "  he  was 
courteous,  candid,  sensible,  well-informed,  very  learned  ;" 
and  he  speaks  of  the  whole  race  of  ministers,  saying,  "  I  saw 
not  one  in  the  islands  whom  I  had  reason  to  think  either  de- 
ficient in  learning  or  irregular  in  life. "  Such  were  the  men, 
the  foundations  of  whose  faith  were  laid  amid  the  silence  of 
mountains  and  the  roar  of  seas  ;  there  they  learned 

"  To  look  on  Nature  with  a  humble  heart  ; 
Self  questioned,  where  it  did  not  understand  ; 
And  with  a  superstitious  eye  of  love." 

Such  scattered  societies  have  been  favorable  to  the  develop, 
ment  of  humor  and  originality  of  character.  Polite  society  ia 


THE    OLD   SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  9 

mote  favorable  to  the  cultivation  of  the  conventional,  and 
greatly  takes  away  from  the  man,  the  doctor,  or  the  minister, 
that  freedom  of  intercourse  between  classes  which  is  the  foun- 
dation of  all  true  humor  or  naturalness  of  personality. 

One  of  the  most  essential  attributes  of  the  Scottish  mind  is 
its  orderly,  methodical,  in  a  word,  its  logical  character  ;  this 
has  often  given  to  its  preaching  a  bony  appearance,  or  emi- 
nently doctrinal  method.  It  was  very  important  that  the  min- 
ister should  fulfil  these  conditions,  that  he  should  be  "  soun, " 
or  sound.  Some  ministers  had  the  reputation  even  of  being 
"  awfu  soun, "  and  hence  a  more  sprightly  and  flowing  manner 
came  to  be  regarded  with  suspicion.  Alexander  Fletcher, 
before  he  went  to  London,  was  exceedingly  popular  at  Stow. 
On  the  evening  before  he  received  "  the  call  "  to  become  the 
co-pastor  there,  with  the  Rev.  Mr.  Kidstone,  there  had  been 
some  doubt  as  to  the  perfect  orthodoxy  of  his  views  ;  but  on 
this  occasion  he  preached  a  sermon  to  the  delight,  and  even 
surprise,  of  a  great  gathering  of  people.  Coming  down  from 
the  pulpit,  and  going  into  the  manse,  Mr.  Kidstone  met  him 
and  thanked  him,  saying  with  great  suavity,  "  Weel,  Sandie, 
I  must  admit  you're  vara  '  soun,'  but,  oh,  man  !  you're  na 
deep  !" 

A  part  of  the  usual  duty  of  the  Scottish  minister  was  period- 
ical pastoral  visitation,  which  included  visitations  during  which 
all  the  members  of  the  family  were  supposed  to  submit  to  cate- 
chetical examinations.  This  work  of  examination  has  been, 
from  time  immemorial,  supposed  to  be  kept  up  from  house  to 
house,  the  minister  taking  certain  districts,  and  usually  anounc- 
ing  his  route  of  visitation  from  the  pulpit  on  the  preceding 
Sabbath.  This  visit  of  the  minister  was  often  the  occasion  of 
great  alarm  and  preparation,  and,  perhaps,  was  conducted — 
whatever  may  be  the  case  now — very  mechanically.  There 
was  examination  in  the  Catechism,  and  the  general  routine  of 
sound  theology.  The  beadle  usually  went  before  the  minister 
into  the  district  to  announce  that  on  such  and  such  a  day  ho 
would  pay  his  visit.  Sometimes,  however,  indolent  ministers 


10  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

neglected  this  duty.  A  poor  old  deaf  man  resided  in  Fife  ; 
he  was  visited  by  his  minister  shortly  after  coming  to  his  pul- 
pit. The  minister  said  he  would  often  call  and  see  him  ;  but 
time  went  on,  and  he  did  not  visit  him  again  until  two  years 
after,  when,  happening  to  go  through  the  street  where  the 
deaf  man  was  living,  he  saw  his  wife  at  the  door,  and  could 
therefore  do  no  other  than  inquire  for  her  husband.  "  Weel, 
Margaret,  how  is  Tammas  ?"  "  None  the  better  o'  you,"  was 
the  rather  curt  reply.  "How!  how!  Margaret?"  inquired 
the  minister.  "  Oh,  ye  promised  twa  year  syne  to  ca'  and 
pray  once  a  fortnight  wi'  him,  and  ye  hae  ne'er  darkened  the 
door  sin'  syne."  "  Weel,  weel,  Margaret,  don't  be  so  short  ; 
I  thought  it  was  not  so  very  necessary  to  call  and  pray  with 
Tammas,  for  he  is  sae  deaf  ye  ken  he  canna  hear  me." 
"  But,  sir,"  said  the  woman,  with  a  rising  dignity  of  manner, 
"  the  Lord's  no  deaf  !"  And  it  is  to  be  supposed  the  minis- 
ter felt  the  power  of  her  reproof.  Of  course,  in  these  visita- 
tions, sometimes  more  humorous  incidents  occurred.  Dr. 
Henderson,  of  Galashiels,  in  the  course  of  one  of  his  pastoral 
calls,  came  to  the  house  of  a  woman  who  had  lost  her  husband 
a  short  time  before,  and  had  been  left  with  a  large  and  non- 
productive family  ;  naturally  the  minister  inquired  after  the 
health  of  the  household.  "  Weel,"  said  the  woman,  "  we're 
all  richt,  except  puir  Darie  ;  he's  sair  troubled  wi'  a  bad  leg, 
and  not  fit  for  wark."  The  doctor  could  not  recollect  who 
Davie  was,  but,  as  in  duty  bound,  he  prayed  that  Davie's 
affliction  might  be  blessed  to  him,  and  also  that  it  might  not 
be  of  long  duration.  But  going  home,  and  consulting  his 
wife,  he  said,  "  Davie,  Davie  !  which  of  the  boys  is  Davie  ?" 
"  Hoot,  hoot  !  you  ought  to  ken  wha  Davie  is,"  she  replied. 
"  Davie  is  nae  son,  Davie  is  just  the  cuddy"  (donkey). 

Absence  of  mind,  however,  sometimes  produces  results  as 
awkward  as  absence  of  humor.  The  Rev.  Mr.  Itnlack,  of  Mur- 
roes,  was  an  able  man,  but  a  very  absent-minded  one,  and 
once,  in  a  public  service  of  considerable  importance,  he  spoke 
of  all  ranks  and  degrees  of  persons,  ' '  from  the  king  on  the 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    MTKISTER.  11 

dunghill  to  ihe  beggar  on  the  throne  ;''  but,  suspecting  rather 
than  perceiving  the  mistake,  he  proceeded  instantly  to  amend 
his  error  by  saying,  '  '  No,  my  friends,  I  mean  from  the  beg- 
gar on  the  throne  to  tins  king  on  the  dunghill." 

"  One  of  Chalmers's  earliest  movements  was  to  improve  the 
social  status  and  domestic  condition  of  the  clergy.  He  came 
to  my  father,"  says  Dr.  Chafes  Rogers,  "  on  a  Monday  in  a 
state  of  great  enthusiasm.  '  Yesterday  I  preached,'  he  said, 
'  in  the  college  kirk,  and  inaugurated  my  scheme  for  the  aug- 
mentation of  stipends.  I'll  read  to  you  my  discourse  ;'  there- 
upon taking  a  MS.  from  his  pocket,  and  placing  it  on  the  table. 
'  Just  twenty  minutes,'  said  my  father,  who  knew  that  his 
friend,  when  he  entered  warmly  on  a  subject,  forgot  every- 
thing else  ;  and  the  cook  had  announced  that  dinner  was  almost 
ready.  '  Half  an  hour,'  pleaded  Chalmers,  '  and  you  shall 
have  the  entire  discourse. '  My  father  assented,  but  placed  his 
watch  upon  the  table.  The  orator  proceeded,  as  if  he  had 
been  addressing  a  congregation.  '  The  church  bell,'  he  said, 
'  may  ring  for  a  century  to  come,  but  if  the  clergy  are  not 
properly  remunerated,  they  will  be  termed  "  puir  bodies,"  and 
themselves  and  their  ministrations  will  be  regarded  with  con- 
tempt.' '  I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Chalmers,'  said  my  father, 
'but  what's  your  text?'  'My  text,'  said  the  orator,  'is 
Luke  12  :  15  :  "A  man's  life  consisteth  not  in  the  abundance 
of  the  things  which  he  possesseth."  '  You  are  not  textual,' 
said  my  father.  '  Wait  a  little,'  rejoined  the  orator,  '  and 
you'll  see.'  The  sermon  proved  both  eloquent  and  appropriate. 
'  He  never  expressed  himself  better,'  said  my  father,  '  even  in 
the  days  of  his  greatest  popularity.'  ' 

But  there  is  probably  no  country  in  which  the  minister 
receives  so  much  respect — and  respect  of  so  high  an  order  ; 
this  is  true  of  every  communion  in  Scotland.  Our  readers  need 
not  to  be  informed  that  the  service  of  the  Scottish  communions 
was  utterly  unadorned  and  unritualistic  ;  but  Lockhart,  in  that 
most  charming  book,  "  Peter's  Letters  to  his  Kinsfolk,"  was 
not  wide  of  the  truth  when  he  pointed  out  that,  to  the  devout 


12  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Presbyterian,  the  image  of  his  minister,  and  the  idea  of  his 
superior  sanctity  and  attainments,  stand  instead  of  the  whole 
calendar  of  Catholicism  ;  or  all  the  splendid  liturgies,  chant- 
ings,  and  pealing  organs  of  our  English  cathedrals.  The  min- 
ister was  the  symbol  of  the  faith,  and,  looking  on  his  minister, 
says  Lockhart,  the  Scotchman  might,  whether  he  were  of  the 
Old  Presbytery,  or  an  Old-light  Anti-Burgher,  or  a  New-light 
Anti-Burgher,  say  with  the  Greek  of  old,  "  It  is  not  in  wide- 
spreading  battlements,  nor  in  lofty  towers,  that  the  security  of 
our  city  consists.  Men  are  our  defence  !"  With  all  this,  the 
Scottish  ministers  of  the  old  time  had  much  cheerfulness  ;  the 
doumess  was  of  a  far  later  growth.  One  writer  before  us,  a 
century  old,  tells  that  "  papa  and  mamma,"  when  he  was  a 
boy,  had  invited  a  very  important  minister  from  Edinburgh  to 
spend  some  days  with  them.  ' '  It  put  me  in  a  terrible  fright, 
for  I  had  formed  a  most  awful  idea  of  a  minister.  I  thought 
of  some  gaunt-looking  personage,  with  a  bushy  wig,  and  all 
stiffness  and  formality.  I  was  dreadfully  alarmed  lest  ht> 
should  examine  me  in  the  Longer  or  Shorter  Catechism — for,  to 
tell  the  truth,  I  knew  no  more  of  their  contents  than  the  first 
and  third  questions,  '  What  is  the  chief  end  of  man  ? '  and 
4  What  do  the  Scriptures  principally  teach  ?' — when  the  ser- 
vants announced  the  awful  intelligence  that  the  minister  had 
come.  I  thought  my  heart  would  have  leaped  into  my  mouth, 
but  my  alarm  was  only  for  a  moment ;  for,  in  place  of  seeing 
a  gaunt,  old,  formal,  sour  Plum,  as  I  expected,  I  found  the 
most  lively,  frank,  good-humored  personage  I  had  ever  met 
with." 

And  such  we  suppose  would  be  usually  the  account  to  bo 
given  of  the  Scottish  minister  ;  with  very  much  ecclesiastic;.! 
decorum  and  official  austerity,  a  blithe  and  cheerful  person, 
able  to  command  not  less  the  love  and  reverence  of  the  youn_; 
than  the  respect  and  confidence  of  the  old. 

Very  naturally  we  have  only  thought  of  the  Scottish  minis- 
ter, or  ministers,  of  past  generations  ;  the  present  will  be  en- 
titled to  take  their  place  by  and  by  ;  but  how  long  shall  we 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  l-'J 

have  to  wait  before  we  have  such  another  portrait  as  that  of 
Dr.  John  Brown,  of  Edinburgh,  by  his  gifted  son,  Dr.  John 
Brown,  in  the  "  Horae  Subsecivae"  ? 

Perhaps  the  prejudice  against  read  sermons  lingered  longer 
in  Scotland  than  in  any  other  district.  Until  very  recently  the 
use  of  any  manuscript  would  have  been  fatal  to  the  cordial  ac- 
ceptance of  any  candidate. 

"  He's  a  grand  preacher,"  whispered  an  old  spinster  to  her 
sister  on  hearing  a  young  minister  for  the  first  time. 
"  Whist  !  Bell,"  was  the  reply  ;  "  he's  readin'  !"  "  Read- 
in',  is  he  ?"  said  the  eulogist,  changing  her  tone  ;  "  paltry  fel- 
low !  we'll  gangTiame,  Jenny,  and  read  our  Book."  In  1762 
Dr.  Thomas  Blacklock,  the  well-known  poet,  was  presented  by 
the  Earl  of  Selkirk  to  the  living  of  Kirkcudbright.  He  was 
afflicted  by  the  loss  of  sight,  but,  when  he  was  preaching  one 
of  his  trial  discourses,  an  old  woman  who  sat  on  the  pulpit 
stairs  inquired  of  a  neighbor  whether  he  was  a  reader.  "  He 
canna  be  a  reader,"  said  the  old  wife,  "  for  he's  blin'." 
"  I'm  glad  to  hear  it,"  said  the  ancient  neighbor  ;  "I  wish 
they  were  all  blin'  !"  His  blindness,  however,  did  not  serve 
Blacklock,  for  exception  was  taken  to  him  on  account  of  his 
loss  of  sight,  and  he  was  compelled  to  resign  his  living. 

As  anecdotes  of  them  occur  in  the  old  biographies,  they 
must  often  seem  a  strange  race,  those  old  Scottish  preachers 
and  pastors.  Mr.  Shanks,  of  Jedburgh,  was  greatly  perplexed 
by  a  text  ;  he  could  make  nothing  of  it  ;  so,  late  at  night,  he 
started  off  to  Selkirk,  a  distance  of  fifteen  miles,  to  take  coun- 
sel upon  it  with  his  friend  Dr.  Lawson.  He  arrived  at  one  in 
the  morning  ;  he  had  to  knock  many  times  at  the  manse 
before  he  was  heard.  At  last  a  servant  appeared,  asking  who 
he  was,  and  what,  in  the  name  of  all  disorders,  could  have 
brought  him  at  that  hour  of  the  night.  The  perplexed  parson 
insisted  on  seeing  Dr.  Lawson.  He  had  been  in  bed  hours 
since.  "  I  must  see  him,  however,"  said  he,  "  and  you  must 
hold  my  horse  until  I  come  down."  He  knew  the  way  to  the 
doctor's  bedroom.  He  knocked,  and  entered  in  the  dark. 


14  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

He  told  his  brother  minister  his  errand.  Lawson  entered  into 
the  difficulty  of  the  situation,  and,  although  in  a  somewhat 
dreamy  state,  he  commenced  an  exegesis  upon  the  text  in  ques- 
tion, showed  the  bearing  of  the  context,  referred  to  the  parallel 
passages,  and  cleared  up  the  whole  subject  to  his  friend's  satis- 
faction, who  thanked  Dr.  Lawson,  bade  him  good-morning, 
and  then  mounting  his  horse,  rode  back  through  the  night  to 
Jedburgh.  In  the  morning,  at  about  five,  Dr.  Lawson  awoke. 

"  My  dear,"  he  said  to  Mrs.  Lawson,  "  I  have  had  a  very 
singular  and  not  unpleasant  dream.  I  dreamed  that  Mr. 
Shanks,  good  man,  came  all  the  way  up  from  Jedburgh  to  con- 
sult with  me  about  a  text  that  troubled  him." 

"  It  was  no  dream,"  said  Mrs.  Lawson  ;  "  Mr.  Shanks  was 
here,  in  this  very  room,  and  I  had  to  listen  to  all  that  you  and 
he  had  to  say." 

It  was  with  difficulty  she  could  persuade  him  to  believe  it 
had  been  so.  On  going  downstairs,  however,  he  inquired  if 
Mr.  Shanks  had  been  during  the  night,  and  then  in  what  room 
he  was  sleeping.  The  servant  assured  him  that  he  had  really 
been  in  the  house,  but  added,  "  He  is  not  in  the  house  now, 
sir.  He  is  at  Jedburgh  long  before  this  time." 

Of  course  this  spirit  of  ministerial  simplicity  and  earnestness 
was  sometimes  imposed  upon.  Dr.  Chalmers  was  not  only  a 
mighty  orator  and  sagacious  scientific  thinker,  he  was  a  large- 
hearted  and  open-handed  man.  But  there  was  one  singular 
instance  in  which  he  lost  his  temper.  He  was  sitting  busily 
engaged  in  his  study  one  afternoon  when  a  man  was  intro- 
duced. He  was  a  Jew,  professing  to  be  an  anxious  inquirer. 
Apologizing  for  his  interruption  by  saying  that  he  was  in  very 
great  distress  of  mind,  the  doctor's  sympathy  was  instantly 
excited. 

"  Sit  down,  sir.     Be  good  enough  to  be  seated." 

The  visitor  declared  he  had  been  an  unbeliever  in  the  divine 
origin  of  Christianity,  but,  beneath  the  touch  of  the  doctor's 
eloquence  all  doubts  had  vanished  ;  still  there  was  a  difficulty 
which  pressed  upon  him  with  peculiar  force — it  was  the  ac- 


THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  15 

count  the  Bible  gave  of  Melchizedek,  one  of  the  types  of  the 
Christian  Messiah,  being  without  father,  without  mother,  etc. 
Very  kindly,  patiently,  and  anxiously  Chalmers  disposed  of  all 
these  difficulties.  The  man  expressed  himself  as  greatly 
relieved  in  his  mind,  thankfully  acknowledging  that,  in  the 
matter  of  Melchizedek,  he  saw  his  way  very  clearly. 

"And  now,"  continued  he,  "doctor,  I  am  in  great  want 
of  a  little  money,  and  perhaps  you  could  help  me  in  that  way 
too."  [J} 

At  once  the  object  of  the  visit,  and  the  cunning , stratagem 
for  obtaining  an  introduction,  was  seen,  and  the  wrath  of  the 
doctor  was  aroused.  To  have  been  interrupted  in  his  work,  to 
have  expended  all  his  eloquence,  and  learning,  and  patience  on 
this  !  A  tremendous  tornado  of  indignation  rolled  over  the 
head  of  the  unfortunate  mortal  as  he  retreated  from  the  study 
to  the  street  door. 

"  It's  too  bad  !"  said  the  orator.  "  Not  a  penny,  sir  ;  not 
a  penny,  sir  !  It's  too  bad  ;  not  merely  to  waste  my  time,  but 
to  haul  in  your  mendicity  upon  the  shoulders  of  Melchizedek  !" 

But  with  all  his  grand  shrewdness  of  character,  Chalmers — 
especially  in  his  earlier  life — was  easily  imposed  upon,  as  Dr. 
Charles  Rogers  illustrates  in  the  following  anecdote  : 

"  One  Saturday  morning,  the  minister  of  Kilmany  (Chal- 
mers) stepped  in.  '  My  dear  sir,'  said  he,  '  I  have  been  de- 
tained at  Anster  all  the  week,  and  I  am  unprepared  for  to- 
morrow's duty  ;  so  allow  me  to  take  your  place,  and,  like  a 
kind  man,  you'll  take  mine  at  Kilmany.'  My  father  con- 
sented. '  I  don't  know  what  my  housekeeper  may  have  for 
you  in  the  way  of  eating,'  he  proceeded,  '  but  there  is  very 
fine  whiskey  ,  and  this  reminds  me,  I  have  discovered  a  method 
of  eliminating  the  harsher  and  more  deleterious  particles  from 
all  spirituous  liquors.  I  leave  my  bottles  uncorked,  and  place 
them  in  an  open  cupboard,  so  that  atmospheric  air  entering  the 
necks  of  the  bottles  may  mollify  the  fluid.'  '  All  verv  good,' 
said  my  father.  On  a  bottle  of  Mr.  Chalmers's  nctifinl  aqua 
being  produced  next  day  after  dinner,  at  Kilmauy,  lie  found 


10  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

that  other  agencies  than  those  of  the  atmosphere  had  been  re- 
ducing the  strength.  Three  fourths  of  the  liquor  had  evidently 
been  poured  out,  and  the  remainder  proportionally  diluted  with 
aqua  from  the  well.  Whiskey  of  such  extreme  mildness  might 
be  drunk  readily.  In  the  evening,  as  my  father  was  approach- 
ing the  manse,  Mr.  Chalmers  met  and  hailed  him.  '  Got  well 
through,  I  hope  ? '  'Oh  yes  ! '  '  And  some  home  comforts, 
too?'  'Yes,  a  very  good  dinner,  and  very  mild  whiskey.' 
'  Glad  you  liked  it  ;  knew  you  would.  I've  fallen  on  the  true 
secret.'  '  It  was  so  very  mild,  that  I  finished  the  bottle.' 
'  Nonsense,  my  dear  sir,'  said  Mr.  Chalmers,  who  now  began 
to  suspect  his  friend's  sincerity  ;  '  had  you  done  so,  you 
would  not  have  been  here  to  tell  the  tale.'  '  Oh,  yes,'  per- 
sisted my  father,  '  I  finished  the  bottle.  The  fact  is,  Mr. 
Chalmers,  you're  a  bachelor,  as  well  as  myself,  and  if  you  take 
the  corks  out  of  your  whiskey  bottles,  and  throw  open  your 
cupboards,  your  whiskey  will  be  mild  enough.  Yours  was 
mostly  water.'  Chalmers  was  a  little  crestfallen,  but  added 
after  a  little — '  Depend  upon  it,  sir,  the  air  does  it.'  ' 

Dr.  Macfarlane  has  given,  in  his  vivid  likeness  of  George 
Lawson,  of  Selkirk — the  original  of  the  Rev.  Josiah  Cargill  in 
"  St.  Ronan's  Well  " — a  piece  of  ministerial  Scottish  folk-lore, 
richer,  because  more  original  than  Dean  Ramsay's  celebrated 
'  Reminiscences. "  Writing  to  Dr.  Macfarlane,  Thomas  Carlyle 
says  :  "  From  your  biography  of  Dr.  Lawson,  I  gather  a  per- 
fectly credible  account  of  his  character,  course  of  life,  and 
labors  in  the  world  ;  and  the  reflection  rises  in  me  that,  per- 
haps, there  was  not  in  the  British  Islands  a  more  completely 
genuine,  pious-minded,  diligent,  and  faithful  man.  Altogether 
original  too  ;  peculiar  to  Scotland,  and,  so  far  as  I  can  guess, 
unique  even  there  and  then.  England  will  never  know  him 
out  of  any  book,  or,  at  least,  it  would  take  the  genius  of  a 
Shakespeare  to  make  him  known  by  that  method  ;  but  if  Eng- 
land did,  it  might  much  and  wholesomely  astonish  her.  Seen 
in  his  intrinsic  character,  no  simpler-minded,  more  perfect 
lover  of  wisdom  do  I  know  of  in  that  generation.  Professor 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  17 

Lawson,  you  may  believe,  was  a  great  man  in  my  boy  circle  ; 
never  spoken  of  but  with  reverence  and  thankfulness  by  those 
I  loved  best.  In  a  dim,  but  singularly  conclusive  way,  I  can 
still  remember  seeing  him — and  even  hearing  him  preach, 
though  of  that  latter,  except  the  fact  of  it,  I  retain  nothing  ; 
but  of  the  figure,  face,  tone,  dress,  I  have  a  vivid  impression 
(perhaps  about  my  twelfth  year,  i.e.  summer  of  1807-8).  It 
seems  to  me  he  had  even  a  better  face  than  in  your  frontis- 
piece— more  strength,  sagacity,  shrewdness,  simplicity,  a 
broader  jaw,  more  hair  of  his  own  (I  don't  much  remember 
any  wig)  ;  altogether  a  most  superlative,  steel-gray  Scottish 
peasant,  and  Scottish  Socrates  of  the  period  ;  really,  as  I  now 
perceive,  more  like  the  twin  brother  of  that  Athenian  Socrates 
who  went  about  supreme  in  Athens  in  wooden  shoes,  than  any 
man  I  have  ocularly  seen."  Such  was  George  Lawson.  He 
fulfilled  his  course  among  a  people  who  had  their  homes  on  the 
banks  of  the  Tweed,  the  Ettrick,  the  Yarrow,  and  the  Gala — 
among  shepherds  and  farmers  ;  they  listened  to  his  words, 
seated  in  the  house  of  God,  on  winter  days,  wrapped  in  their 
shepherds'  plaids,  their  shepherd  dogs  crouching  at  their  feet, 
like  silent  and  reverent  hearers,  too,  till,  the  sermon  over,  they 
started  to  their  feet,  wagged  their  tails,  and  marched  out  of 
the  house  with  their  masters. 

The  old  Scottish  minister  was  remarkable  for  quaint  drollery, 
and  it  often  partook  of  that  dry  and  grim  character  which  we 
have  distinctly  identified  as  a  feature  of  Scottish  humor  in 
general.  Men  notable  for  absence  of  mind  were  seldom  found 
napping  when  the  occasion  came  to  waken  their  wit.  Evidently 
in  allusion  to  the  doctor's  own  wig,  an  impudent  fop  once 
dared  to  ask  Mr.  Lawson  if  he  could  tell  him  the  color  of  the 
devil's  wig,  and  prompt  came  the  doctor's  reply  :  "  Oh, 
man,"  said  the  divine,  "  ye  maun  be  a  puir  tyke  of  a  servant 
to  hae  served  a  master  sae  lang  and  no  to  ken  the  color  o'  his 
wig."  Dr.  Macfarlane,  among  his  souvenirs,  gives  one  of  a 
Selkirk  minister — we  believe  Mr.  Law,  afterward  of  Kirkcaldy 
— who  was  equally  remarkable  for  wit  and  satire,  piety  and  tal- 


18  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

ent  :  Mr.  Law  was  a  well-known  humorist,  though  an  excellent 
man  and  diligent  pastor.  There  was  a  sort  of  infidel  and 
scoffing  character  in  the  town  in  which  he  lived,  commonly 
called  Jock  Hammon.  Jock  had  a  nickname  for  Mr.  Law, 
which,  though  profane,  had  reference  to  the  well-known  evan- 
gelical character  of  his  ministry.  ' '  There's  the  Grace  of  God, ' ' 
he  would  say,  as  he  saw  the  good  man  passing  by  ;  and  he 
actually  talked  of  him  under  that  designation.  It  so  happened 
that  Mr.  Law  had,  on  one  occasion,  consented  to  take  the  chair 
at  some  public  meeting.  The  hour  of  meeting  was  past,  the 
place  of  meeting  was  filled,  but  no  minister  appeared.  Symp- 
toms of  impatience  were  manifested,  when  a  voice  was  heard 
from  one  corner  of  the  hall — "  My  friends,  there  will  be  no 
*  Grace  of  God  '  here  this  nicht  !"  Just  at  this  moment  the 
door  opened,  and  Mr.  Law  appeared,  casting,  as  he  entered, 
a  rather  knowing  look  upon  Jock  Hammon  as  Jock  ejaculated 
these  words.  On  taking  the  chair  Mr.  Law  apologized  for 
being  so  late.  "  I  had,"  he  said,  "to  go  into  the  country  to 
preside  at  the  examination  of  a  village  school,  and  really  the 
young  folks  conducted  themselves  so  well  that  I  could  scarce 
get  away  from  them.  If  you  please,  I  will  just  give  you  a 
specimen  of  the  examination.  I  called  up  an  intelligent- look- 
ing girl,  and  asked  her  if  she  had  ever  heard  of  any  one  who 
had  erected  a  gallows  for  another  and  who  had  been  hanged  on 
it  himself  ?  '  Yes,'  replied  the  girl  ;  '  it  was  Haman.'  With 
that  up  started  another  little  girl,  and  she  said,  '  Eh,  minister, 
that's  no  true.  Hammon's  no  hanged  yet ;  for  I  saw  him  at 
the  public-house  door  this  forenoon,  and  he  was  swearing 
like  a  trooper.'  '  (Upon  this  there  was  a  considerable  titter- 
ing among  the  audience,  and  eyes  were  directed  to  the  corner 
were  Jock  was  sitting.)  "You  are  both  quite  right,  my 
dears,"  said  Mr.  Law.  "  Your  Haman  was  really  hanged,  as 
he  deserved  to  be  ;  and  "  (turning  toward  the  other)  "  your 
Hammon,  my  lambie,  is  no  hanged  yet,  by  '  the  Grace  o' 
God,'  "  he  added,  with  a  solemnity  of  tone  which  removed 
every  thought  of  irreverence  from  the  allusion.  It  might  have 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    MINISTER.  19 

reminded  some  present  of  the  saying  of  the  great  English 
martyr,  when  he  saw  a  criminal  led  to  execution,  ' '  But  for  the 
grace  of  God,  there  goes  John  Bradford. ' '  The  meeting  was 
awed  at  first  by  the  solemnity  of  the  rebuke,  but  then  the 
humor  of  the  thing  tickled  them,  and,  amid  roars  of  laughter, 
Jock  rushed  out  of  the  meeting,  and,  for  a  time  at  least,  he  ceased 
to  make  the  worthy  minister  the  object  of  his  scurrilous  jokes. 

Dr.  Macfarlane's  delightful  Life  of  the  old  patriarch,  Law- 
son,  gives  some  pathetic  glimpses  into  the  interior  of  the  old 
Scottish  manse  ;  the  following,  of  his  comportment  on  the 
night  of  the  death  of  his  most  loved  son,  we  take  to  be  charac- 
teristic, not  only  of  Lawson  in  particular,  but  of  the  old  Scot- 
tish minister  in  general. 

It  was  customary  at  that  time  to  send  for  the  undertaker  at 
whatever  hour  of  the  day  or  night  death  took  place,  who 
brought  along  with  him  what  was  called  the  "  dead- board," 
upon  which  the  corpse  was  stretched  out.  The  son  of  the 
worthy  man  who  performed  this  duty  at  this  time  informed 
Dr.  Macfarlane  that  when  his  father  arrived  at  the  manse,  he 
found  the  family  in  great  distress — weeping  and  lamenting 
over  the  dead — Dr.  Lawson  sitting  in  the  midst  of  them,  calm, 
but  overwhelmed.  After  a  short  space,  he  arose  and  said, 
"  Oh,  Mrs.  Lawson,  will  you  consider  what  you  are  about  ? 
Remember  who  has  done  this.  Be  composed  ;  be  resigned  ; 
and  rise,  and  accompany  me  downstairs,  that  we  may  all  join 
in  worshipping  our  God."  And  so  they  all  went  down  with 
him  to  the  parlor.  He  then  read  out  for  praise  these  solemn 
verses  of  the  29th  paraphrase  : 

"  Amidst  the  mighty,  where  is  He 

Who  ssith,  and  it  is  done  ? 
Each  varying  scene  of  changeful  life 
Is  from  the  Lord  alone. 

"  Why  should  a  living  man  complain 

Beneath  the  chast'ning  rod? 

Our  sins  afflict  us  ;  and  the  cross 

Must  bring  us  back  to  God." 


20  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Before  he  raised  the  tune,  he  paused  for  a  moment,  looking 
round  upon  the  weeping  circle,  and  then,  with  faltering  ac- 
cents, said,  "We  have  lost  our  singer  this  morning;  but  I 
know  that  he  has  began  a  song  which  shall  never  end,"  and  then 
proceeded  with  the  worship,  completing  a  scene  as  holy  and 
sublime  as  can  well  be  imagined.  It  was  also  customary  at 
that  period,  and  in  that  quarter,  when  the  day  of  funeral  came, 
for  the  chief  mourners  to  come  out  and  stand  at  the  door,  in 
front  of  the  house,  to  receive  the  company  as  they  assembled. 
Dr.  Lawson,  however,  was  not  there  ;  and,  as  the  hour  was 
past  the  undertaker  (one  of  his  elders)  entered  the  manse  to 
inquire  the  reason.  No  one  could  inform  him.  Upon  which, 
he  opened  the  door  of  the  library,  and  found  the  afflicted 
father  on  his  knees  in  prayer. 

A  few  days  after  this,  a  letter  came  to  "  «7oAw,"  from  one 
of  his  pupils  at  Penrith — son  of  Herbert  Buchanan,  Esq.,  of 
Arden — making  anxious  inquiries  as  to  his  health.  The  letter 
was  opened  and  read  by  the  father,  who  wrote  an  answer  to 
it,  as  if  from  John  himself  in  heaven — "  an  answer  which 
breathes  not  the  language  of  terror  and  despair,  like  the  spirit 
that  assumed  the  figure,  the  voice,  and  the  mouth  of  the  de- 
parted prophet,  but  that  of  holy  love  and  hope,  like  the  words 
of  Moses  and  Elias,  when  they  appeared  in  glory  on  the  mount, 
and  spake  of  the  decease  which  Jesus  should  accomplish  at 
Jerusalem." 

"  DEAR  SIR  :  Your  hope  that  I  am  in  a  better  state  of 
health  than  formerly,  is  now  more  than  realized.  God  has,  in 
His  infinite  mercy,  been  pleased  to  receive  me  into  those  happy 
abodes  where  there  is  no  more  sorrow,  nor  death,  nor  sin.  I 
now  hear  and  see  things  which  it  is  impossible  to  utter  ;  and 
would  not  give  one  hour  of  the  felicity  which  I  now  enjoy,  for 
a  lifetime,  or  for  a  thousand  years,  of  the  greatest  felicity 
which  I  enjoyed  on  earth. 

"  I  still  love  you  and  the  other  friends  whom  I  left  on 
earth,  but  my  affection  for  them  is  very  different  from  what  it 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH   MINISTER.  21 

was  :  I  value  them  not  for  the  love  which  they  bear  to  me,  or 
the  amiable  qualities  which  are  most  generally  esteemed  by 
men,  unless  they  love  my  Lord  and  Saviour,  through  whose 
blood  I  have  found  admission  to  heaven.  The  happiness  which 
I  wish  for  you,  is  not  advancement  in  the  world,  or  a  rich  en- 
joyment of  its  pleasures,  but  the  light  of  God's  countenance, 
the  grace  of  His  Spirit,  and  a  share,  when  a  few  years  have 
passed,  of  those  things  which  eye  hath  not  seen,  nor  ear  heard, 
and  which  it  has  not  entered  into  the  heart  of  man  to  conceive. 

"  It  is  not  permitted  to  us  who  dwell  on  high  to  appear  to 
our  fonner  friends,  and  to  inform  them  of  our  present  feelings  ; 
and,  ardently  as  I  desire  to  have  you  a  participant  of  my  felic- 
ity, I  do  not  wish  to  approach  you  in  a  visible  form,  to  tell 
you  of  the  riches  of  the  glory  of  that  inheritance  which  I  pos- 
sess. Abraham  tells  me  that  the  writings  of  the  prophets  and 
apostles  are  better  fitted  to  awaken  sinners  to  a  sense  of  ever- 
lasting things,  and  to  excite  good  men  to  holiness,  than  ap- 
paritions, and  admonitions  of  their  departed  friends  would  be  ; 
and  what  he  says  is  felt  to  be  true  by  all  of  us.  I  do  not  now 
read  the  Bible.  I  thank  God  I  often  read  it  from  beginning  to 
end,  when  it  was  necessary  for  me  to  learn  from  it  the  knowl- 
edge of  my  beloved  Saviour  ;  and  yet,  if  I  could  now  feel  un- 
easiness, I  would  regret  that  I  made  it  so  little  the  subject  of 
my  meditation.  You  would  be  glad  to  know  whether,  though 
unseen,  I  may  not  be  often  present  with  you,  rejoicing  in 
your  prosperity,  and  still  more  in  every  good  work  performed 
by  you,  in  every  expression  of  love  to  my  God,  and  care  for 
the  welfare  of  your  own  soul.  But  I  am  permitted  to  tell  you 
no  more  on  this  subject  than  God  has  thought  meet  to  tell  you 
in  His  Word,  that  there  is  joy  in  heaven  over  one  sinner  that 
repenteth  ;  and  angels  are  present  in  Christian  assemblies,  ob- 
serving with  pleasure  or  indignation  the  good  or  bad  behavior 
of  the  worshippers  ;  and  that  we  welcome  with  great  joy  our 
friends  from  earth,  when  they  are  received  into  our  everlasting 
habitations. 

14  Farewell,    my    dear  friend,    farewell,   but    not  forever. 


22  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

What  are  all  the  days  you  have  before  you  on  earth,  but  a 
moment  !  I  hope  that  the  grace  which  hath  brought  me  so 
early  in  my  existence  to  heaven,  will  bring  you  all  to  the  same 
happy  place,  after  sparing  you  some  time  longer  in  the  lower 
world  to  serve  your  generation,  by  His  will  ;  and  to  do  more 
than  I  had  an  opportunity  to  do,  for  exciting  your  neighbor  to 
choose  the  path  of  life.  Much  good  may  be  done  by  the  at- 
tractive example,  by  the  prayers,  and  (at  proper  times)  by 
the  religious  converse  of  Christians  engaged  in  this  world. 
"  Farewell,  again,  till  we  meet  never  to  be  separated. 
"  I  am,  your  friend,  more  sincerely  than  ever, 

"  JOHN  LAWSON." 

Thus  we  obtain  a  beautiful  insight  into  the  character  of  the 
old  Scottish  minister. 


CHAPTER  II. 

CHARACTERISTICS    OF    SCOTTISH    HUMOB. 

THE  humor  of  any  country  really  represents  its  human  char- 
acter, and  it  varies  therefore  in  every  nation  with  the  character. 
The  English,  Irish,  French,  Spanish,  and  American,  have  all 
varying  shades  of  humor  decidedly  their  own  ;  differences  and 
resemblances,  contrasts  and  likenesses.  Humor  is  the  outflow- 
ing of  the  human  idiosyncracy  ;  and  such  as  the  character  is — 
and  that  will  vary  from  the  influence  of  temperament,  scenery, 
and  circumstance — so  will  the  humor  be.  The  Scottish  charac- 
ter has  a  kind  of  humor  especially  its  own. 

Reticence  is  one  very  marked  characteristic  ;  a  reserved  sense 
— sometimes  a  kind  of  grim  reserve  ;  indeed,  this  pervades, 
more  or  less,  all  the  manifestations. 

Thus  we  read  that  "  a  minister's  man,"  one  of  a  class  of 
whom,  indeed,  many  stories  are  told,  was  following  the  minis- 
ter from  the  manse  to  the  kirk  one  Sabbath  afternoon,  when, 
the  minister  glancing  back,  perceived  a  smile  on  the  face  of 
his  old  attendant. 

"  What  makes  you  laugh,  James  ?  It  is  unseemly.  What 
is  there  to  amuse  you  ?" 

"  Oh,  naething  particular,"  says  James  ;  "I  was  only 
thinking  o'  something  that  happened  this  forenoon." 

"  What  is  that  ?     Tell  me  what  it  was." 
'  Weel,  minister,  dinna  be  angry  wi'  me  ;  but  ye  ken  the 
congregation  here  are  whiles  no  pleased  to  get  auld  sermons  fra' 
you,  and,  this  morning,  I  got  the  better  of  the  kirk  session 
ony  way." 

"  And  how  was  that,  Jamie  ?"  says  the  minister. 


24  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  'Deed,  sir,  when  we  came  out  o'  the  kirk  this  forenoon,  I 
kenned  what  they  were  thinking  ;  and  says  I,  Eh,  but  you 
canna  ca'  that  an  auld  sermon  this  day,  for  it's  not  abune  sax 
weeks  since  you  heard  it  last  !" 

Dr.  McLeod  was  proceeding  from  the  manse  of  D to 

church,  to  open  a  new  place  of  worship.  As  he  passed  slowly 
and  gravely  through  the  crowd  gathered  about  the  doors,  an 
elderly  man,  with  the  peculiar  kind  of  wig  known  in  that  dis- 
trict— bright,  smooth,  and  of  a  reddish  brown — accosted  him. 

' '  Doctor,  if  you  please,  I  wish  to  speak  to  you. ' ' 

"  Well,  Duncan,"  said  the  venerable  doctor — it  was,  we 
believe,  the  father  of  the  well-known  Scottish  minister  of  our 
own  day — "  well,  Duncan,  can  you  not  wait  till  after  worship  ?" 

"  No,  doctor,  I  must  speak  to  you  now,  for  it  is  a  matter 
upon  my  conscience. ' ' 

"  Oh,  since  it  is  a  matter  of  conscience,  tell  me  what  it  is  ; 
but  be  brief,  Duncan,  for  time  passes. ' ' 

"  The  matter  is  this,  doctor.  Ye  see  the  clock  yonder,  on 
the  face  of  the  new  church.  Well,  there  is  no  clock  really 
there  ;  nothing  but  the  face  of  a  clock.  There  is  no  truth  in 
it,  but  only  once  in  the  twelve  hours.  Now,  it  is  in  my  mind 
very  wrong,  and  quite  against  my  conscience,  that  there 
should  be  a  lie  on  the  face  of  the  house  of  the  Lord." 

"  Duncan,  T  will  consider  the  point.  But  I  am  glad  to  see 
you  looking  so  well  ;  you  are  not  young  now  ;  I  remember 
you  for  many  years  ;  and  what  a  fine  head  of  hair  you  have 
still." 

"  Eh,  doctor,  you  are  joking  now  ;  it  is  long  since  I  have 
had  any  hair." 

"  Oh,  Duncan,  Duncan,  are  you  going  into  the  house  of  the 
Lord  with  a  lie  upon  your  head  ?" 

This,  says  the  story,  settled  the  question  ;  and  the  doctor 
heard  no  more  of  the  lie  on  the  face  of  the  clock. 

Grotesque  and  4udicrous,  producing  the  effect  of  humor 
without  being  humorous — we  have  said  this  is  often  the  char- 
acteristic of  Scottish  humor.  At  a  time  when  many  of  the 


CHARACTERISTICS    OF    SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  25 

poor  in  Scotland  had  scarcely  any  notion  of  any  food  but  oat- 
meal, a  gentleman  asked  a  boy  one  day  if  he  did  not  tire  of 
porridge.  The  boy  looked  up  astonished,  saying  : 

"  Wad  ye  hae  me  no'  like  my  meat  ?" 

And  so  we  read  of  a  wee  laddie  interrogating  his  mother  : 

"  Mither,  will  we  hae  tea  tae  our  breakfast  the  morn  ?" 

"  Ay,  laddie,  if  we're  spared." 

"  And  if  we're  no  spared,  mither,  will  we  only  hae  par- 
ritch  ?" 

The  story  is  well  known  of  the  old  lady  who  shared  the 
strong  prejudices  against  the  organ  in  divine  service.  One 
was,  however,  erected  in  her  kirk  ;  it  was  the  first  she  had 
ever  seen  or  heard,  and  she  was  asked  her  opinion  of  it  after 
the  first  performance,  and  she  replied,  "  It's  a  very  bonny  kist 
(chest)  o'  whistles  ;  but  oh,  sirs,  it's  an  awfu'  way  of  spend- 
ing the  Sabbath-day  !"  At  the  church  of  Dr.  Alexander  in 
Edinburgh,  where,  after  a  considerable  strife,  an  organ  was 
erected,  it  was  discovered  one  Sabbath  morning  that  it  could 
not  be  used,  and  the  beadle  appeared  before  the  reverend  doc- 
tor, the  pastor  of  the  congregation,  just  as  he  was  going  into 
the  pulpit,  saying,  slyly — he  had  always  been  opposed  to  the 
innovation — "  Doctor,  yon  creature  of  an  ourgan  has  gi'en  up 
the  ghaist  a'thegither  the  day  !" 

The  best  humor  of  Scotland  is  of  a  very  sly  and  subtle  kind. 
Even  the  best  humor  of  Burns  is  often  of  this  order.  The 
Waverley  novels,  overflowing  with  every  variety  of  Scottish 
humor,  have  many  illustrations  of  this  ;  the  answers  of  Edie 
Ochiltree,  for  instance,  in  his  examination  before  the  magis- 
trate, Bailie  Littlejohn.  The  old  blue-gown's  fencings  of 
speech  are  all  in  this  play  of  unconscious  subtlety  : 

"  Can  you  tell  me  now,  bailie,  you  that  understand  the  law, 
what  gude  will  it  do  me  to  answer  ony  of  your  questions  ?" 

"  Good  !  no  good,  certainly,  my  friend,  except  that  giving 
a  true  account  of  yourself,  if  you  are  innocent,  may  entitle 
me  to  set  you  at  liberty." 

"  But  it  seems  mair  reasonable  to  me  now  that  you,  bailie, 


26  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

or  anybody  that  has  onything  to  say  against  me,  should 
prove  my  guilt,  and  not  be  bidding  me  to  prove  my  inno- 
cence. ' ' 

"  I  don't  sit  here,"  answered  the  magistrate,  "  to  dispute 
points  of  law  with  you.  I  ask  you,  if  you  choose  to  answer 
my  question,  whether  you  were  at  Ringan  Arkwood,  the  for- 
ester's, on  the  day  I  have  specified  ?" 

"  Really,  sir,  I  dinna  feel  myself  called  on  to  remember," 
replied  the  bedesman. 

"  Or  whether  in  the  course  of  that  day  or  night  you  saw 
Steven  or  Steenie  Mucklebacket  ?  You  know  him,  I  suppose  ?" 

"  Oh,  brawlie  did  I  ken  Steenie,  puir  fallow,"  replied  the 
prisoner,  "  but  I  canna  condescend  on  ony  particular  time  I 
have  seen  him  lately." 

"  Were  you  in  the  ruins  of  St.  Ruth  any  time  in  the  course 
of  that  evening  ?" 

"  Bailie  Littlejohn,"  said  the  mendicant,  "if  it  be  your 
honor's  pleasure,  we'll  cut  a  long  tale  short,  and  I'll  just  tell 
you  I'm  no  minded  to  answer  ony  o'  thae  questions.  I'm 
ower  auld  a  traveller  to  let  my  tongue  bring  me  into  trouble." 

"  Write  down,"  said  the  magistrate,  "  that  he  declines  to 
answer  all  interrogatories,  in  respect  that  by  telling  the  truth 
he  might  be  brought  to  trouble." 

"  Na,  na,"  said  Ochiltree.  "I'll  no  hae  that  set  down  as 
ony  part  o'  my  answer  ;  but  I  just  meant  to  say,  that  in  all 
my  memory  and  practice  I  never  saw  ony  gude  come  o'  an- 
swering idle  questions." 

"  Write  down,"  said  the  bailie,  "  that,  being  acquainted 
with  judicial  interrogatories  by  long  practice,  and  having  sus- 
tained injury  by  answering  questions  put  to  him  on  such  occa- 
sions, the  declarant  refuses — " 

"  Na,  na,  bailie,"  reiterated  Edie,  "  ye  are  not  to  come  in 
on  me  that  gait  either. ' ' 

This  conversation  well  illustrates  that  pleasant  phase  of  Scot- 
tish humor,  simple  yet  shrewd,  which  has  received  the  well- 
known  epithet  of  canny. 


CHARACTERISTICS    OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  27 

Perhaps  this  is  the  faculty  which  gives  that  fine  power  of 
repelling  an  assault  by  some  keen,  efficient  reply,  sometimes 
delicate  and  sometimes  coarse,  as  the  case  may  be,  but  quite 
equal  to  the  end.  We  have  heard  of  a  Scotchwoman  who  had 
accompanied  her  mistress  to  Ireland,  who,  being  jeered  by  an 
Irishman  on  her  unmarried  condition,  replied,  in  the  predes- 
tinarian  phraseology  very  peculiar  to  her  class,  "  I'm  truly 
thankful  that  a  man  was  na  ordainit  to  me,  for  maybe  he 
might  have  been  like  yoursel'." 

Indeed,  this  cautious  and  canny  slowness  of  character  is  en- 
joined in  a  well-known  Scottish  proverb,  "  Naething  should  be 
done  in  haste  but  gripping  fleas.  " 

A  droll  kind  of  slow  movement  of  character  gives  a  hint  of 
a  good  deal  of  the  humor.  It  is  recorded  by  Chambers  and 
other  Scottish  historians  that  when  Mrs.  Siddons  was  in  Edin- 
burgh, on  the  occasion  of  her  first  appearance,  the  audience 
had  been,  to  English  notions,  singularly  undemonstrative  of 
their  approbation.  Yet  during  one  scene  the  whole  house  was 
held  entirely  spellbound  and  breathless,  when  there  was  heard 
distinctly  from  the  pit  a  voice  from  some  canny,  cautious 
Scotch  critic,  "  Yon  was  no'  that  bad  ;"  and  at  that  word  the 
whole  house  burst  forth  into  a  perfect  tumult  and  uproar  of 
applause.  A  lady  of  rank,  a  very  dear  friend  of  the  writer, 
herself  a  Scotchwoman  of  a  very  old  family,  usually  goes  into 
the  housekeeper's  room  every  morning  to  give  her  directions 
for  the  day  to  her  housekeeper,  a  daughter  of  Aberdeen.  Our 
friend  has  a  considerable  play  of  humor  and  fun,  and  she  has 
told  us  how,  more  than  once,  after  some  humorous  remark, 
on  the  day  following  her  housekeeper  will  say  to  her,  "  Yon 
was  a  very  humorsome  thing  ye're  leddyship  was  saying  yester- 
day." It  had  taken  twenty- four  hours  for  the  saying  fairly  to 
work  in  the  mind.  It  was  like  the  Scotchman's  criticism  in 
the  theatre,  "  Yon  was  no'  that  bad  !" 

It  is  no  doubt  owing  to  this  queer  slowness  in  the  character 
that  we  have  among  Scottish  anecdotes  so  many  of  the  ludi- 
crous, which  are  not  humorous.  Dr.  Rogers,  in  his  collection, 


28  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

gives  an  instance  of  grotesque  stupidity  in  a  magistrate.  A 
bailie  of  the  Gorbals,  Glasgow,  was  noted  for  the  simplicity  of 
his  manners  on  the  bench.  A  youth  was  charged  before  his 
tribunal  with  abstracting  a  handkerchief  from  a  gentleman's 
pocket.  The  indictment  being  read,  the  bailie,  addressing  the 
prisoner,  remarked,  "  I  hae  na  doot  ye  did  the  deed,  for  I 
had  a  handkerchief  ta'en  oot  o'  my  ain  pouch-pocket  this  vera 
week. ' '  The  same  magisterial  logician  was,  on  another  occa- 
sion, seated  on  the  bench  when  a  case  of  serious  assault  was 
brought  forward  by  the  public  prosecutor.  Struck  by  the 
powerful  phraseology  of  the  indictment,  the  bailie  proceeded 
to  say,  "  For  this  malicious  crime  you  are  fined  half  a 
guinea. ' '  The  assessor  remarked  that  the  case  had  not  yet 
been  proven.  "Then,"  said  the  magistrate,  "we'll  just 
make  the  fine  five  shillings."  But  we  have  many  analogies  to 
this  worthy  among  the  magistrates  of  England. 

The  humor  of  some  stories  needs  some  little  knowledge  to 
apprehend  the  altogether  unconscious  humor  which  comes  out 
from  the  narrator.  It  has  been  said,  that  of  all  the  sciences, 
it  is  a  difficult  task  to  make  a  Highlander  comprehend  the  value 
of  mineralogy  ;  there  is  some' sense  in  astronomy,  it  means  the 
guidance  of  the  stars  in  aid  of  navigation  ;  there  is  sense  in 
chemistry,  it  is  connected  with  dyeing,  and  other  arts  :  but 
' '  chopping  off  bits  of  the  rocks, ' '  that  is  a  mystery. 

A  shepherd  was  sitting  in  a  Highland  inn,  and  he  communi- 
cated to  another  his  experiences  with  "  one  of  they  mad  Eng- 
lishmen." 

"There  was  one,"  said  he,  "who  gave  me  his  bag  to 
carry,  by  a  short  cut,  across  the  hills  to  his  inn,  while  he  took 
the  other  road.  Eh  !  it  was  dreadfully  heavy,  and,  when  I 
got  out  of  his  sight,  I  determined  to  see  what  was  in  it,  for  I 
wondered  at  the  unco'  weight  of  the  thing  ;  and,  man  !  it's 
no  use  for  you  to  guess  what  was  in  that  bag,  for  ye'd  ne'er 
find  out.  It  was  stanes. " 

"  Stanes  !"  said  his  companion,  opening  his  eyes,  "  stanes  !" 

"  Ay,  just  stanes." 


CHARACTERISTICS    OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  29 

"  Well,  that  beats  all  I  ever  knew  or  heard  of  them.  And 
did  you  carry  it  ?" 

"  Carry  it !  Man,  do  ye  think  I  was  as  mad  as  himself  ? 
Nae  !  Nae  !  I  emptied  them  all  out,  but  I  filled  the  bag 
again  from  the  cairn  near  the  house,  and  I  gave  him  good 
measure  for  his  money. ' ' 

And  yet  Hugh  Miller  was  a  Scotchman  ! 

It  has  sometimes  appeared  to  us  that  old  Scotland  furnishes 
a  greater  variety  of  humor  in  the  character  than  any  other 
region  of  which  we  have  heard  ;  there  is  a  greater  originality, 
and  there  is  less  sameness.  Sir  Walter  Scott  knew  this,  and 
he  studied  this  variety,  and  originality  in  variety,  so  as  to 
bring  it  out  in  the  many  characters  he  portrays.  Daft  Jock 
Amos  is  a  character  of  whom  many  stories  are  told. 

"  John,"  said  the  minister  to  him  one  day — "  John,  can 
you  repeat  the  Fourth  Commandment  ?  I  hope  you  can  ; 
which  is  the  Fourth  Commandment  ?" 

"  I  dare  say,  Mr.  Boston,  it'll  be  the  ane  after  the  third." 

"  Can  you  repeat  it?" 

"  I'm  no  sure  about  it.  I  ken  it  has  some  wheeram  by  the 
rest." 

Mr.  Boston  repeated  it.  He  had  found  John  working  with 
a  knife  on  the  Sabbath-day.  He  tried  to  show  him  his  error, 
but  John  whittled  on. 

"  But,  John,  why  won't  you  rather  come  to  church,  John  ? 
What  is  the  reason  you  never  come  to  church  ?" 

"  Because  you  never  preach  on  the  text  I  want  you  to  preach 
on." 

"  What  text  would  you  have  me  to  preach  on  ?" 

"  On  the  nine-and-twenty  knives  that  came  back  from  Baby- 
lon." 

"  I  never  heard  of  them  before  !" 

"  It  is  a  sign  you  never  read  your  Bible.  Ha,  ha,  ha,  Mr. 
Boston  !  sic  fool,  sic  minister." 

But  Mr.  Boston  went  away  and  searched  long  and  hard  for 
John's  text,  and  sure  enough  he  found  the  record  in  Ezra  1:9; 


30  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

though  he  still  wondered  greatly  at  the  acuteness  of  the  fool, 
considering  the  subject  on  which  he  had  been  reproving  him. 
But  this  story  became  the  foundation  of  a  proverb,  "  The  mair 
fool  are  ye,  as  Jock  Amos  said  to  the  minister."  It  was  to 
this  same  Jock  Amos  an  old  wife  said  one  day  : 

"  John,  how  auld  will  ye  be  ?"  They  had  been  talking  of 
their  ages. 

"  Oh,  I  dinna  ken,"  said  John.  "  It  would  tak'  a  wiser 
head  than  mine  to  tell  ye  that." 

"  It  is  unco'  queer  that  ye  dinna  ken  how  auld  you  are," 
returned  she. 

"  I  ken  weel  enough  how  auld  I  am,"  said  John,  "  but  I 
dinna  ken  how  auld  I'll  be." 

A  good  deal  of  the  humor  is  just  in  the  shrewd  simplicity  of 
a  reply.  A  London  tourist  met  a  young  woman  going  to  the 
kirk,  and,  as  was  not  unusual,  she  was  carrying  her  boots  in 
her  hand  and  trudging  along  barefoot. 

"  My  girl,"  said  he,  "is  it  customary  for  all  the  people  in 
these  parts  to  go  barefoot  ?" 

"  Pairtly  they  do,"  said  the  girl,  "  and  pairtly  they  mind 
their  own  business." 

In  the  town  of  Falkirk  there  lived  a  very  notorious  infidel 
who  gloried  in  his  profanity.  On  one  occasion  he  was  de- 
nouncing the  absurdity  of  the  doctrine  of  original  sin  ;  and  the 
beadle  of  the  parish,  perhaps,  thought  himself  bound  officially 
to  put  in  his  word,  although  the  other  was  socially  his  superior. 

"  Mr.  H.,"  said  he,  "  it  seems  to  me  that  you  needna  fash 
(trouble)  yourseP  about  original  sin,  for  to  my  certain  knowl- 
edge you  have  as  much  akwal  (actual)  sin  as  will  do  your  busi- 
ness. ' ' 

The  humor  of  the  Scotchman  does  not  always  seem  to  wear 
the  most  amiable  complexion.  Some  one  remarked  to  an 
Aberdonian,  "  It's  a  fine  day." 

"  Fa's  (who's)  finding  faut  wi'  the  day  ?"  was  the  not  very 
civil  reply.  "  Ye  wad  pick  a  quarrel  wi'  a  steen  (stone)  wa  !" 

Repartee  is  a  species  of  witty  gladiatorship,  which,  skilfully 


CHARACTERISTICS   OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  31 

wielded,  is  sure  to  set  the  "table  in  a  roar."  The  Hon. 
Henry  Erskine  was,  notwithstanding  his  powers  as  a  humorist, 
once  overcome  in  wit  by  a  country  clergyman.  The  Rev.  Dr. 

M'C ,  minister  of  Douglas,  and  Mr.  Erskine  had  met  at  the 

dinner-table  of  a  mutual  friend.  A  dish  of  cresses  being  on 
the  table,  the  rev.  gentleman  took  a  supply  on  his  plate,  which 
he  proceeded  to  eat,  using  his  fingers.  Erskine  remarked 
that  the  doctor's  procedure  reminded  him  of  Nebuchadnezzar. 

"  Ay,"  retorted  Dr.  M'C ,  "  that'll  be  because  I  am  eatin' 

amang  the  brutes." 

Hugo  Arnot  was  of  a  form  so  emaciated  that  he  was  often 
compared  to  a  walking  skeleton.  He  was  one  day,  in  his  usual 
eccentric  manner,  eating  on  the  street  a  speldin,  or  dried  fish. 
Mr.  Erskine  came  up.  "  You  see,"  said  Arnot,  "  I'm  not 
starving."  "  I  confess,"  replied  the  wit,  "  you  are  very  like 
your  meat."  Arnot  openly  avowed  infidel  principles.  He 
was  riding  on  a  white  horse  one  Sabbath  afternoon,  when  he 
met  the  celebrated  Rev.  Dr.  Erskine  of  the  Greyfriars  return- 
ing from  church.  "  I  wonder  that  a  man  of  your  sense,"  said 
the  infidel,  "  would  preach  to  a  parcel  of  old  wives  ;  what 
was  your  text?"  "  The  text,"  replied  Dr.  Erskine,  "  was  in 
the  sixth  chapter  of  Revelation,  '  And  I  looked,  and  behold  a 
pale  horse  :  and  his  name  that  sat  on  him  was  Death,  and  Hell 
followed  with  him  !'  '  Arnot  gave  reins  to  his  horse,  and 
galloped  off. 

A  capital  story  is  told  of  Professor  Blackie,  of  Edinburgh, 
Grecian,  poet,  philosopher,  and  orator.  He  had  one  day 
affixed  a  paper  to  the  door  of  his  class-room,  announcing  that 
"  Professor  Blackie  is  unable  to  meet  his  classes."  Some  wag 
of  a  student,  seeing  this,  carefully  erased  the  first  letter  of  the 
word  classes,  which  left  the  announcement  that  "  Professor 
Blackie  is  unable  to  meet  his  lasses  ;"  but  the  Professor  came 
along,  noticed  the  erasure,  and  made  another  of  the  letter  "  J;" 
thus  leaving  the  announcement  that  "  Professor  Blackie  is  un- 
able to  meet  his  asses  /" 

But  the  humors  of  the  religious  character  are  among  the 


32  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

most  noticeable.  To  some  English  readers  the  phraseology 
may  be  amusing  from  its  quaintness,  but  let  them  remember 
that  it  is  used  with  the  most  solemn  reverence.  A  Scotchman 
would  be  equally  amused  with  the  seeming  irreverence  of 
"Jessica's  First  Prayer,"  or  with  the  words  of  the  worthy 
English  soldier,  who,  in  his  prayer  at  the  opening  of  Mrs. 
Daniell's  Home  at  Aldershot,  said,  "  Lord,  Thou  knowest  what 
a  fix  the  poor  soldier  was  in  before  this  here  blessed  place  was 
built."  Stories  are  told  of  a  Mr.  James  Lockhart,  of  the  Salt 
Market,  in  Glasgow,  who  was  a  good  specimen  of  the  old- 
fashioned  morality  of  bygone  times.  One  day  a  country  girl 
came  into  his  shop  to  buy  a  pair  of  garters.  Having  asked 
the  price,  Mr.  Lockhart  told  her  they  were  fourpence.  The 
girl  said,  "  I  will  not  give  you  a  farthing  more  than  threepence 
for  them."  "  Weel,  lassie,  you'll  not  get  them,"  replied  the 
shopkeeper.  Shortly  afterward  the  girl  returned  and  said,  "  I 
noo  gie  ye  fourpence."  "  Gang  awa',  lassie  ;  gang  awa'," 
replied  Mr.  Lockhart,  "  and  no  tell  lies."  An  anecdote  is 
told  of  another  worthy  tradesman,  a  near  neighbor  of  the  above, 
which  illustrates  the  high  principle  and  simple  manners  of  one 
who  lived  when  profane  swearing  was  too  common.  One  day 
a  woman  came  into  the  shop  of  this  person  (his  son  became  a 
magistrate  of  the  city).  She  asked  the  price  of  his  goods,  and 
hearing  the  cost,  she  cried  out  at  the  top  of  her  voice,  "  Lord 
preserve  us  !"  which  words  were  no  sooner  ejaculated  than  the 
good  religious  man  touched  her  very  gently  on  the  arm,  and, 
with  a  look  of  kindness,  said  to  her,  "  It  is  very  good  always 
to  pray."  "  Was  I  praying,  sir  ?"  asked  the  woman.  "  In- 
deed you  were  ;  but  you  might  do  so  more  reverently." 

The  Ettrick  Shepherd,  in  his  "Shepherd's  Calendar," 
refers  to  the  religious  character  of  the  shepherds  of  Scotland 
in  his  day,  as  a  class  ;  in  his  experience,  he  says,  it  was 
scarcely  possible  that  he  could  be  other  than  a  religious  char- 
acter, feeling  himself  to  be  a  dependent  creature,  compelled  to 
hold  converse  with  the  cloud  and  the  storm,  on  the  misty 
mountain  and  the  dark  waste,  in  the  whirling  drift  and  the 


CHARACTERISTICS  OP  SCOTTISH   HUMOR.  35 

overwhelming  thaw  ;  amid  the  voices  and  sounds  that  are  only 
heard  in  the  howling  cliff  and  the  solitary  dell.  "  Among  the 
shepherds,"  says  the  Ettrick  Shepherd,  "  the  antiquated  but 
delightful  exercise  of  family  worship  was  never  neglected  ;" 
always  gone  about  with  decency  and  decorum  ;  but,  he  con- 
tinues, "  formality  being  a  thing  despised,  there  are  no  com- 
positions, that  I  ever  heard,  so  truly  original  as  those  prayers 
occasionally  are  ;  sometimes  for  rude  eloquence  and  pathos,  at 
other  times  for  an  indescribable  sort  of  pomp,  and,  not  unfre- 
qucntly,  for  a  plain  and  somewhat  unbecoming  familiarity." 
He  gives  several  illustrations  quite  justifying  this  description 
from  some  with  whom  he  had  himself  served  and  herded. 
One  of  the  most  notable  men  for  this  sort  of  family  eloquence, 
he  thought,  was  a  certain  Adam  Scott,  in  Upper  Dalgleish. 
Thus  he  prayed  for  a  son  who  seemed  thoughtless  :  "  For  Thy 
mercy's  sake — for  the  sake  of  Thy  poor  sinfu'  servants  that 
are  now  addressing  Thee  in  their  ain  shilly-shally  way,  and  for 
the  sake  o'  mair  than  we  dare  weel  name  to  Thee,  hae  mercy 
on  Rab.  Ye  ken  fu'  weel  he  is  a  wild,  mischievous  callant, 
and  thinks  nae  mair  o'  committing  sin  than  a  dog  does  o' 
licking  a  dish  ;  but  put  Thy  hook  in  his  nose,  and  Thy  bridle 
in  his  gab,  and  gar  him  come  back  to  Thee  wi'  a  jerk  that  he'll 
no  forget  the  longest  day  he  has  to  leeve. "  He  prayed  for 
another  son  away  from  home  :  "  Dinna  forget  poor  Jamie, 
wha's  far  awa'  frae  us  the  nicht.  Keep  Thy  arm  o'  power 
about  him  ;  and  oh,  I  wish  ye  wad  endow  him  wi'  a  little 
spunk  and  smeddum  to  act  for  himself.  For  if  ye  dinna,  he'll 
be  but  a  banckle  (an  old  shoe)  in  this  world  and  a  backsittcr  in 
the  neist."  Another  time,  when  the  first  Napoleon  was  filling 
Europe  with  alarm,  he  prayed  :  "  Bring  down  the  tyrant  and 
his  lang  neb,  for  he  has  done  muckle  ill  the  year,  and  gie  him 
a  cup  o'  Thy  wrath,  and  gin  he  winna  take  that,  give  him 
kelty  (two  cups)."  Hogg  heard  a  relation  of  his  own,  a 
worthy  old  shepherd,  pray  as  follows  on  the  day  on  which  he 
buried  his  only  son  :  "  Thou  hast  seen  meet  in  Thy  wise  Provi- 
dence to  remove  the  staff  out  of  my  right  hand  at  the  very 


S*  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

time  when,  to  us  poor  sand-blind  mortals,  it  appeared  that  I 
stood  maist  in  need  o't.  But  oh,  he  was  a  sicker  (such)  ane 
and  a  sure  ane,  and  a  dear  ane  to  my  heart  !  And  bow  I'll 
climb  the  steep  hill  o'  auld  age  and  sorrow  without  it  Thou 
mayst  ken,  but  I  dinna."  Another  time  he  prayed  during  a 
severe  and  long-lying  storm  of  snow,  "  Is  the  whiteness  of  des- 
olation to  lie  still  on  the  mountains  o'  our  land  forever  ?  Is 
the  earthly  hopes  o'  Thy  servants  to  perish  frae  the  face  o'  the 
earth  ?  The  flocks  on  a  thousand  hills  are  Thine,  and  their 
lives  or  deaths  wad  be  naethiug  to  Thee-— thou  wad  be  neither 
richer  nor  poorer,  but  it  is  a  great  matter  to  us.  Have  pity, 
then,  on  the  lives  of  Thy  creatures,  for  beast  and  body  are  a' 
Thy  handiwork,  and  send  us  the  little  wee  cludd  out  o'  the  sea 
like  a  man's  hand,  to  spread  and  darken,  and  pour  and  flash, 
till  the  green  gladsome  face  o'  nature  aince  mair  appear." 
Reading  the  story  of  Goliath  and  David  at  family  prayer,  his 
prayer,  as  was  often  the  case,  became  a  commentary  :  "  And 
when  our  besetting  sins  come  bragging  and  blowstering  upon 
us,  like  Goli  o'  Gath,  oh,  enable  us  to  fling  off  the  airmer  and 
hairnishing  o'  the  law,  whilk  we  haena  proved,  and  whup  up 
the  simple  sling  o'  the  gospel,  and  nail  the  smooth  stanes  o'  re- 
deeming grace  into  their  foreheads." 

The  Waverley  novels  constitute  the  most  comprehensive 
compendium  of  Scotch  humor  of  every  kind  and  variety.  The 
characters  are  living  embodiments  of  the  humor  of  the  nation, 
especially  in  that  feature  we  have  indicated,  its  imperturbable 
unconsciousness.  King  Jamie  and  "  Gingling  Geordie,"  or 
George  Heriot,  and  Andrew  Fairservice,  and  Richie  Moneplies, 
and  crowds  besides,  all  fulfil  this  droll  unconsciousness.  They 
say  the  most  pleasant  and  unexpectedly  odd  things,  which 
make  the  reader's  sides  ache  with  laughing,  and  themselves  see 
nothing  in  what  they  say  to  provoke  a  smile.  A  minister 
called  to  console  a  poor  widow  who  had  just  lost  her  husband, 
Jock  Dunn,  a  thriftless  rascal,  who  only  lived  to  eat  and  drink 
the  hard-won  earnings  of  his  patient  wife,  Jeanie.  "  Provi- 
dence in  His  mercy,"  said  the  minister,"  has  seen  fit  to  take 


CHARACTERISTICS   OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  35 

awa'  the  head  of  yer  house,  Jeanie,  lass."  To  this  the 
bereaved  wife  philosophically  replied,  "  Oh,  hoch  aye,  but, 
thank  gudeness,  Providence,  in  His  mercy,  has  ta'en  awa'  the 
stommack  tae  !"  There  is  a  deal  of  quiet  philosophy  in 
Scotch  humor. 

When  the  present  fashionable  spa  of  Bridge  of  Allan  was  a 
small  agricultural  hamlet,  it  was  the  abode  of  an  old  cobbler 
who  was  renowned  for  his  witty  sayings,  and  was  never  known 
to  be  put  out.  One  day,  as  he  was  walking  in  front  of  his 
little  cottage,  two  young  officers  from  Stirling  Castle  came  up. 
One  had  previously  betted  with  the  other  that  he  would  over- 
match the  cobbler.  "  How  far  have  we  to  go,  Sawney  ?"  says 
the  confident.  "Just  three  miles,"  replied  the  cobbler. 
"How  do  you  know  ?"  insisted  the  querist.  "Because," 
answered  the  cobbler,  "  it's  three  miles  to  Stirling,  an'  it'& 
three  to  Dunblane,  and  there's  a  gallows  at  baith  !"  It  is 
necessary  to  explain,  that  at  the  period  of  the  incident  there 
were  public  executioners  at  both  places. 

The  celebrated  Dr.  John  Erskine  of  Greyfriars,  Edinburgh, 
was  noted  for  the  evenness  of  his  temper.  His  handkerchief 
had  disappeared  every  Sabbath  during  his  descent  from  the 
pulpit,  and  suspicion  could  only  fall  on  an  elderly  female,  who, 
according  to  the  practice  of  the  times,  sat  on  the  pulpit  stair. 
In  order  to  discover  the  depredator,  Mrs.  Erskine  sewed  the 
corner  of  the  handkerchief  to  the  minister's  pocket.  Return- 
ing from  the  pulpit,  he  felt  a  gentle  pull,  when,  turning  round 
and  tapping  the  old  woman  on  the  shoulder,  he  exclaimed, 
"  No  the  day,  honest  woman  ;  no  the  day  !" 

"  My  grandmother,"  says  Hugh  Boyd  in  his  most  entertain- 
ing "  Reminiscences  of  Fifty  Years,"  "  once  awoke  my 
grandfather  in  the  middle  of  the  night,  and  told  him  that  she 
much  feared  their  son  Willie,  who  slept  next  room  to  them, 
had  become  deranged,  as  she  had  been  listening  to  him  for 
some  time  speaking  loudly  and  rapidly  to  himself.  Her  hus- 
band listened,  and  came  to  the  same  conclusion  ;  and  they 
forthwith  hurried  into  their  boy's  bedroom  to  know  what  way 


36  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

the  matter.  Willie's  explanation  was,  that  as  they  were  going 
to  the  seaside  next  day,  he  wished  to  save  time,  and  was  say- 
ing his  prayers  over  and  over  to  last  him  during  the  holidays. 
This  reminds  me,"  he  continues,  "  of  our  cook  in  Scotland, 
whom  I  found  one  night  after  twelve  o'clock  sipping  her  tea. 
'  Hallo,  cook  !  how  late  you  are  in  drinking  your  tea. '  '  Na, 
na,  sir,  I  am  no  at  my  tea,  I  am  at  my  breakfast,  as  I  thocht  it 
best  to  tak  mine  afore  ganging  to  bed,  as  you  and  the  ither 
young  gentleman  hae  ordered  yours  to  be  ready  at  five,  that  ye 
mae  get  aff  in  guid  time  to  the  muirs. '  ' 

The  Rev.  Dr.  H ,  though  of  a  kindly,  genial  nature, 

indulged  in  a  somewhat  blunt  manner  of  talking.  "  llow 
many  of  your  family  are  alive  now,  Saunders  ?"  asked  the 
Doctor  of  an  aged  person,  who  had  been  his  parishioner  forty 
years  before,  prior  to  his  elevation  to  a  professorship.  The 
old  man  replied,  "  They're  a'  leevin,  sir,  but  my  sister  an' 
me."  "  Ye're  a  fool,  man,"  said  the  Doctor  ;  "  are  you  not 

living?"  The  following  season  Dr.  H happened  to  be 

in  the  parish,  and  again  encountered  Saunders.  "  I  am  glad  to 
meet  you  once  more,  Saunders,"  said  the  professor. 
"  Maybe,  sir,"  replied  the  rustic  ;  "  but  I  didna  expect  that 
ye  wad  hae  spoken  to  me.  You  ca'd  me  a  full  the  last  time 
we  foregathered."  "  Ye're  an  idiot,  man,"  said  the  Doctor  ; 
"I  have  no  recollection  of  ever  having  called  you  a  fool  in 
my  life."  Dr.  Rogers,  to  whose  ample  and  well-stored  mem- 
ory we  are  indebted  for  so  many  happy  anecdotes,  says  he  was 
a  witness  to  both  the  interviews. 

An  odd  illustration  of  the  indigenous  love  of  titles  in  the 
Scotch  occurs  in  an  old  newspaper.  In  the  days  of  Bailie 
Nicol  Jarvie's  father,  the  office  of  deacon  (chairman  of  a  cor- 
poration of  tradesmen)  was  esteemed  no  mean  distinction. 
Two  worthy  incumbents,  who  fretted  their  little  hour  upon  a 
stage  not  far  from  the  banks  of  the  Ayr,  happened  to  be  in- 
vested with  the  above-named  dignity  on  the  same  day.  The 
more  youthful  of  the  two  flew  home  to  tell  his  young  wife 
what  an  important  prop  of  the  civic  edifice  he  had  been  al- 


CHARACTERISTICS    OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  37 

lowed  to  become  ;  and  searching  the  "  but  and  ben"  in  vain, 
ran  out  to  the  byre,  where,  meeting  the  cow,  he  could  no 
longer  contain  his  joy,  but,  in  the  fulness  of  his  heart,  clasped 
her  round  the  neck,  and  it  is  even  said,  kissed  her,  exclaiming, 
"  Oh,  crummie,  crummie,  ye're  nae  langer  a  common  cow — 
ye're  the  deacon's  cow!"  The  elder  civic  dignitary  was  a 
sedate,  pious  person,  and  felt  rather  "  blate"  in  showing  to 
his  wife  that  he  was  uplifted  above  this  world's  honors.  As 
he  thought,  however,  it  was  too  good  a  piece  of  news  to  allow 
her  to  remain  any  time  ignorant  of,  he  lifted  the  latch  of  his 
own  door,  and  stretching  his  head  inward,  "  Nelly  !"  said  he, 
in  a  voice  that  made  Nelly  all  ears  and  eyes,  ' '  gif  ony  body 
comes  spierin'  for  the  deacon,  I'm  just  owre  the  gate  at  John 
Tamson's  !" 

One  dark  winter's  evening,  John  Ritchie,  the  beadle  of  St. 
Dariel's  Church,  Dundee,  undertook  to  conduct  the  minister 
of  an  adjoining  parish  to  the  residence  of  his  own  pastor  in  a 
suburb  of  the  town.  It  was  particularly  dark,  and  the  minister 
who  accompanied  John  began  to  express  a  fear  that  his  guide 
would  miss  the  way.  John,  however,  continued  to  assert  that 
all  was  right,  till,  after  a  lengthened  journey,  they  reached 
the  precincts  of  a  large  public  building  ;  the  not  discomfited 
functionary  exclaimed,  "  I've  ta'en  ye  a  little  aboot,  sir  ;  but 
I  thocht  ye  wad  maybe  like  to  see  the  Cholera  Hospital  !" 
The  Asiatic  scourge  was  then  raging  in  the  town  ;  and  John 
had,  indeed,  lost  his  road. 

Alexander  M'Lachlan,  beadle  in  the  parish  of  Blairgowrie, 
had  contracted  a  habit  of  tippling,  which,  though  it  did  not 
wholly  unfit  him  for  his  duties,  had  become  a  matter  of  con- 
siderable scandal.  The  Rev.  Mr.  Johnstone,  the  incumbent, 
had  resolved  to  reprove  him  on  the  first  suitable  opportunity. 
A  meeting  of  the  kirk  session  was  to  be  held  on  a  week-day, 
at  twelve  o'clock.  The  minister  and  the  beadle  were  in  the 
session-house  together  before  any  of  the  elders  had  arrived. 
The  beadle  was  flushed  and  excited,  and  the  minister  deemed 
the  occasion  peculiarly  fitting  for  the  administration  of  reproof. 


38  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  I  much  fear,  Saunders, "  began  the  minister,  "  that  the 
bottle  has  become — ;  "  Ay,  ay,  sir,"  broke  in  the  unper- 
turbed official,  "  I  was  just  gaun  to  observe  that  there  was  a 
smell  o'  drink  amang's  !" 

"  How  is  it,  John,"  said  a  clergyman  to  his  church  officer, 
"  that  you  never  go  a  message  for  me  anywhere  in  the  parish 
but  you  contrive  to  take  too  much  spirits  ?  People  don't 
offer  me  spirits  when  I'm  making  visits  in  the  parish." 
"  Weel,  sir,"  said  John,  "  I  canna  precisely  explain  it,  unless 
on  the  supposition  that  I'm  a  wee  mair  popular  wi'  some  o' 
the  folks." 

Among  the  pleasing  illustrations  of  the  peculiarities  of  Scot- 
tish humor,  we  remember  nothing  more  characteristic  than  an 
incident  which  appeared  many  years  since  in  the  columns  of  a 
Scotch  newspaper  ;  it  was  the  story  of  Betty's  marriage — and 
we  the  rather  insert  it  here  because,  characteristic  as  it  is,  it  is 
not  so  popular  as  it  deserves  to  be  ;  it  perhaps,  however,  needs 
the  accent  of  the  Scottish  tongue  to  give  full  effect  to  its 
humor.  Betty  was  the  housekeeper  to  a  farmer,  not  very  far 
away  from  Edinburgh,  who  had  attained  the  matured  age  of 
sixty  and  had  never  found  a  wife  for  a  helpmate  ;  all  his  house- 
hold affairs,  however,  were  conducted  by  Betty  ;  she  was  a 
young  woman,  and  rather  regarded  as  a  housekeeper  than  a 
merely  humble  domestic  servant,  for  the  farmer  was  wealthy 
and  had  many  servants  to  his  household  ;  Betty  had  the  rare 
good  fortune  to  be  at  once  beloved  by  her  fellow-servants  as 
well  as  highly  respected  and  trusted  by  her  master  ;  he  often 
consulted  her  upon  matters  on  which  she  was  able  to  advise, 
and  she  never  tendered  her  advice  gratuitously,  but  always 
gave  her  opinion  with  modesty  and  wisdom.  She  had  lived 
with  him  many  years  in  this  way,  when  a  maiden  lady  in  the 
neighborhood,  having  set  her  cap  at  the  farmer  and  failed, 
began  to  whisper  certain  scandals  which  came  to  the  farmer's 
ear  ;  he  not  only  had  a  high  regard  to  his  own  character,  but 
an  equal  regard  for  the  character  of  Betty  ;  so  he  took  the 
best  course  at  once  of  vindicating  himself  and  his  excellent 


CHARACTERISTICS   OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  39 

housekeeper,  by  asking  her  to  become  his  wife.  The  event 
excited  considerable  speculation — what  artifice  could  she  have 
used  ?  how  could  she  have  gone  about  courting  the  old  man  ? 
A  neighbor  asked  her  to  give  an  account  of  how  it  all  came 
about  ;  but  Betty  was  perfectly  simple,  a  true  and  altogether 
inartificial  person  ;  and  thus  called  upon,  she  gave  an  account 
of  her  marriage  with  a  naivete  and  homeliness  peculiarly 
Scotch.  She  had  a  lisp  in  her  speech,  so  that  the  *  was  always 
pronounced  as  th,  and  this  added  a  deeper  and  more  pleasing 
simplicity  to  her  manner  ;  here  is  Betty's  narrative,  and  we  do 
not  know  anything  in  Gait  or  Scott  more  simply  and  thor- 
oughly worthy  of  being  called  a  Scottish  characteristic  : 

*'  Weel,  Betty,"  says  her  acquaintance,  "  come,  gie  me  a 
sketch,  an'  tell  me  a'  about  it,  for  I  may  hae  a  chance  mysel. 
We  dinna  ken  what's  afore  us.  We're  no  the  waur  o'  haein 
somebody  to  tell  us  the  road  when  we  dinna  ken  a'  the"  cruiks 
and  throws  in't."  "  'Deed,"  says  Betty,  "  there  was  little 
about  it  ava'.  Our  maister  was  awa'  at  the  fair  ae  day,  selling 
the  lambs,  and  it  was  gey  late  afore  he  cam  hame.  Our  mais- 
ter very  seldom  stays  late,  for  he's  a  douce  man  as  can  be. 
We.ei,  ye  see,  he  was  mair  hearty  than  I  had  seen  him  for  a 
lang  time,  but  I  opine  he  had  a  gude  merket  for  his  lambs, 
and  there's  room  for  excuse  when  ane  drives  a  gude  bergen. 
Indeed,  to  tell  even  on  truth,  he  had  rather  better  than  a  wee 
drap  in  his  e'e.  It  was  my  usual  to  sit  up  till  he  cam  hamo. 
when  he  was  awa'.  When  he  cam  in  and  gaed  upstairs,  he 
fand  his  supper  ready  for  him.  '  Betty,'  says  he,  very  saft 
like.  '  Sir,'  says  I.  '  Betty,'  says  he,  '  what  has  been  gaun 
on  the  day  ? — a's  right,  I  houp  ? '  '  Ou  ay,  sir,'  says  I. 
'Vera  weel,  vera  weel,'  says  he,  in  his  ain  canny  way.  He 
gae  me  a  clap  on  the  shouther,  and  said  I  was  a  gude  lassie. 
When  I  had  telt  him  a'  that  had  been  dune  through  the  day, 
just  as  I  aye  did,  he  gae  me  anither  clap  on  the  shouther, 
and  said  he  was  a  fortunat  man  to  hae  sic  a  carefu'  person 
about  the  house.  I  never  had  heard  him  say  as  muckle  to  my 
face  before,  though  he  aften  said  mair  ahint  my  back.  I 


40  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

really  thocht  he  was  fey.  Our  maister,  when  he  had  got  his 
supper  finished  began  to  be  vera  joky  ways,  and  said  that  I  was 
baith  a  gude  and  bonnie  lassie.  I  kent  that  folks  arna  them- 
sels  whan  in  drink,  and  they  say  rather  mair  than  they  wad  do 
if  they  were  sober.  Sae  I  cam  away  doon  into  the  kitchen. 
Na,  ray  maister  never  offered  to  kiss  me  ;  he  was  ower  modest 
a  man  for  that. 

"  Twa  or  three  days  after  that,  our  maister  cam  into  the 
kitchen.  '  Betty,'  says  he.  '  Sir,'  says  I.  '  Betty,'  says 
he,  '  come  upstairs;  I  want  to  speak  t'ye,'  says  he.  '  Vera 
weel,  sir,'  says  I.  Sae  I  went  upstairs  after  him,  thinking  a' 
the  road  that  he  was  gaun  to  tell  me  something  about  the 
feeding  o'  the  swine,  or  killing  the  heefer,  or  something  like 
that.  But  when  he  telt  me  to  sit  doun,  I  saw  there  was  some- 
thing serious,  for  he  never  bad  me  sit  doun  afore  hut  ance, 
and  that  was  when  he  was  gaun  to  Glasgow  fair.  '  Betty,' 
says  he,  '  ye  hae  been  lang  a  servant  to  me, '  says  he,  '  and  a 
gude  and  honest  servant.  Since  ye're  sae  gude  a  servant,  I 
aften  think  ye'll  make  a  better  wife.  Hae  ye  ony  objection  to 
be  a  wife,  Betty  ?'  says  he.  '  I  dinna  ken,  sir,'  says  I  ;  '  a 
body  canna  just  say  how  they  like  a  bargain  till  they  see  the 
article.'  '  Weel,  Betty,'  says  he,  '  ye're  vera  right  there 
again.  I  hae  had  ye  for  a  servant  these  fifteen  years,  and  I 
never  knew  that  I  could  find  faut  wi'  ye  for  onytbing.  Ye're 
carefu',  honest,  and  attentive,  and — '  '  Oh,  sir,'  says  I, 
'  ye  always  paid  me  for't,  and  it  was  only  my  duty.'  '  Weel, 
wee!,'  says  he,  '  Betty,  that's  true  ;  but  then  I  mean  to  make 
am  nds  t'ye  for  the  evil  speculation  that  Tibby  Langtongue 
raised  about  you  and  me,  and  forby  the  warld  are  taking  the 
same  liberty  ;  sae,  to  stop  a'  their  mouths,  you  and  I  sail  be 
married.'  '  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I  ;  for  what  could  I  say  ? 

' '  Our  maister  looks  into  the  kitchen  anither  day,  an'  says 
— '  Betty,'  says  he.  '  Sir,'  says  I.  '  Betty,'  says  he,  '  I  am 
gaun  to  gie  in  our  names  to  be  cried  in  the  kirk  this  and  next 
Sabbath.'  '  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I. 

"About  eight  days  after  this,  our  maister  says   to    me — 


CHARACTERISTICS   OF   SCOTTISH    HUMOR.  41 

'Betty,'  says  he.  'Sir,'  says  I.  'I  think,'  says  he,  'we 
will  hae  the  marriage  put  ower  neist  Friday,  if  ye  hae  nae  ob- 
jection.' '  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I.  '  And  ye'll  tak  the  gray 
yad,  and  gang  to  the  toun  on  Monday,  an'  get  your  bits  o' 
wedding  braws.  I  hae  spoken  to  Mr.  Cheap,  the  draper,  and 
ye  can  tak  aff  onything  ye  want,  an'  please  yoursel,  for  I  canna 
get  awa'  that  day.'  '  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I. 

"  Sae  I  gaed  awa'  to  the  toun  on  Monday,  an'  bought  some 
wee  bits  o'  things  ;  but  I  had  plenty  o'  claes,  and  I  couldna 
think  o'  being  'stravagant.  I  took  them  to  the  manty-maker 
to  get  made,  and  they  were  sent  hame  on  Thursday. 

"  On  Thursday  night  our  maister  says  to  me — '  Betty,'  says 
he.  'Sir,'  says  I.  'To-morrow  is  our  wedding-day,'  says 
he  ;  '-an'  ye  maun  see  that  a'  things  are  prepared  for  the 
denner,'  says  he,  '  an'  see  everything  dune  yoursel,'  says  he  ; 
'  for  I  expect  some  company,  an'  I  wad  like  to  see  every- 
thing feat  and  tidy  in  your  ain  way,'  says  he.  '  Vera  weel, 
sir,'  says  I. 

"  I  had  never  taen  a  serious  thought  about  the  matter  till 
now,  and  I  began  to  consider  that  I  must  exert  mysel  to  please 
my  maister  and  the  company.  Sae  I  got  everything  in  readi- 
ness, and  got  everything  clean  ;  I  couldna  think  ought  was 
dune  right,  except  my  ain  hand  was  in't. 

"  On  Friday  morning  our  maister  says  to  me — '  Betty,'  says 
he.  '  Sir,'  says  I.  '  Go  away  and  get  yoursel  dressed,'  says 
he  ;  '  for  the  company  will  soon  be  here,  an'  ye  maun  be  de- 
cent. An'  ye  maun  stay  in  the  room  upstairs,'  says  he,  '  till 
ye're  sent  for,'  says  he.  '  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I.  But  there 
was  sic  a  great  deal  to  do,  and  sae  rnony  gran'  dishes  to  pre- 
pare for  the  denner  to  the  company,  that  I  could  not  get  awa', 
and  the  hail  folk  were  come  afore  I  got  myscl  dressed. 

"  Our  maister  cam  dounstairs,  and  telt  me  to  go  up  that 
instant  and  dress  mysel,  for  the  minister  was  just  comin  doun 
the  loan.  Sae  I  was  obliged  to  leave  everything  to  the  rest  of 
the  servants,  an'  gang  upstairs  an'  put  on  my  claes. 

"  When  I  was  wanted,  Mr.  Brown  o'  the  Haaslybrae  cam 


42  SCOTTISH   CHAKACTERISTICS. 

an'  took  me  into  the  room  among  a'  the  gran'  folk  and  the 
minister.  I  was  maist  like  to  fent,  for  I  never  saw  sae  mony 
gran'  folk  thegither  a'  my  born  days  afore,  an'  I  didna  ken 
whar  to  look.  At  last  our  maister  took  me  by  the  han',  an'  I 
was  greatly  relieved.  The  minister  said  a  great  deal  to  us,  but 
I  canna  mind  it  a',  and  then  he  said  a  prayer.  After  this,  I 
thought  I  should  hae  been  worried  wi'  folk  kissing  me  ;  mony 
a  yin  shook  hands  wi'  me  I  had  never  seen  afore,  and  wished 
me  much  joy. 

"  After  the  ceremony  was  over,  I  slipped  awa'  doun  into 
the  kitchen  again  amang  the  rest  o'  the  servants — to  see  if  the 
denner  was  a'  right.  But  in  a  wee  time,  our  maister  cam  into 
the  kitchen,  and  says — 'Betty,'  says  he.  'Sir,'  says  I. 
'Betty, 'says  he;  'you  must  consider  that  ye're  no  longer 
my  servant,  but  my  wife,'  says  he,  'and  therefore  ye  must 
come  upstairs  and  sit  amang  the  rest  o'  the  company,'  says  he. 
'  Vera  weel,  sir,'  says  I.  So  what  could  I  do  but  gang  up- 
stairs to  the  rest  o'  the  company,  and  sit  down  amang  them  ? 
Sae,  Jean,  that  was  a'  that  was  about  my  courtship  and  mar= 
riage. ' ' 


CHAPTER   III. 

THE    HUMORS    OF    SCOTTISH    CHARACTER. 

ALTHOUGH  so  many  hands  have  attempted  to  delineate  it, 
the  Scottish  character  is  not  very  easily  sounded  ;  there  is  a 
subtlety  and  a  variety  in  it  which  a  few  crayon  strokes  will  by 
no  means  satisfy.  This  character  is  composite  ;  the  Lowlander 
and  the  Highlander  meet  in  the  character  ;  the  Dane  and  the 
Englishman  may  each  recognize  some  features  of  themselves. 
The  first  thing  which  has  usually  impressed  us  is  that  the 
Scotchman  is  one  who  is  always  "  keeping  up  a  terrible  think- 
ing"—  a  kind  of  man  engaged  in  a  perpetual  soliloquy,  or 
rather  colloquy,  with  himself — 

"  As  I  walked  with  myself  I  talked  with  myself, 
And  myself  replied  to  me. " 

We  some  time  since  were  dining  in  Edinburgh  at  our  table 
by  ourselves,  but  in  an  opposite  corner  was  a  Scotchman  dining 
also,  and  his  mind  seemed  sorely  exercised.  Quite  alone  at 
his  table,  he  was  altogether  oblivious  of  any  company  in  the 
room,  and  at  intervals  of  two  or  three  moments  came  forth  the 
ejaculation,  "  Ay — ay,  ay  !"  He  pursued  the  pathway  of 
silence,  occupied  with  his  steak,  but  as  he  stretched  forth  his 
fork  for  another  potato,  it  came  forth  again,  "  Ay,  ay — ay  !" 
And  so  through  the  whole  af  his  dinner  he  renewed  his  expres- 
sive utterances  from  the  flashes  of  silence.  It  seemed  to  us 
very  Scotch. 

Would  it  be  possible  to  write  the  "  Cotter's  Saturday  Night" 
now  ?  Even  if  Scotland  had  a  Burns,  would  such  a  picture  be 
any  longer  true  of  the  social  life  of  the  country  ?  Is  it  true 
that,  as  Emerson  says,  merely  "  for  everything  given  some- 


44  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

thing  is  taken  ;"  that  while  "  society  has  acquired  new  arts, 
it  has  lost  its  old  instincts  ;"  that  "  the  civilized  man  has  built 
a  coach,  but  has  lost  the  use  of  his  feet ;  that  he  has  a  fine 
Geneva  watch,  but  cannot  tell  the  hour  by  the  sun"  ?  Is  this 
the  entire  story  of  civilization  ?  We  can  draw  some  very 
sweet  pictures  of  the  rural  life  in  times  not  long  since  deceased, 
but  there  are,  of  course,  other  pictures.  Was  there  not  much 
more  real  enjoyment  then  than  is  now  known  ?  They  had,  it 
has  been  truly  said,  more  leisure  to  be  merry  than  their  de- 
scendants have.  Looking  into  many  homes,  especially  of  the 
Highland  tacksman  and  the  Lowland  farmer,  it  seems  as  if 
they  had  more  innocent  enjoyments.  Even  though  spring  and 
autumn  were  seasons  of  arduous  labor,  the  other  seasons  of  the 
year  were  periods  of  heart-stirring  festivity.  Sometimes  the 
labors  were  light — the  winning,  or  raising  peats  and  hay,  ewe- 
milking,  sheep-shearing,  the  dairy,  the  flocks,  and  the  herds. 
Such  occupations  employed  the  jocund  hours  of  summer.  But 
no  sour  Puritanism  presided  over  the  home-born  happiness  of 
winter  ;  the  long  winter  evenings  were  crowned  with  fireside 
delights,  and  Alexander  Waugh,  who  came  from  such  a  home, 
says,  with  scarcely  any  books  of  amusement,  without  any 
games  of  chance,  without  stimulating  liquors,  and  without  ever 
seeing  a  newspaper,  our  simple  ancestors  managed  to  beguile 
their  hours  of  leisure  and  relaxation  cheerfully,  and  innocently, 
and,  on  the  whole,  quite  as  rationally,  if  not  quite  so  elegantly, 
as  their  more  bustling  and  ambitious  offspring.  The  state  of 
culture  and  education  must  have  been  much  higher  in  the  old 
times,  especially  with  the  gentlem<  n  tacksmen,  or  leaseholders. 
Dr.  Macleod,  in  his  book  published  twelve  years  since,  says  he 
knew  one  who  was  ninety  years  of  age  then.  Fifty  years 
since,  in  the  Highlands,  he  was  accosted  by  a  pedestrian  with 
a  knapsack  on  his  back,  who  addressed  him  in  a  language 
which  was  intended  for  Gaelic.  The  farmer,  judging  him  to 
be  a  foreigner,  replied  in  French,  which  met  no  response,  the 
farmer's  French  being  probably  as  bad  as  the  tourist's  Gaelic. 
The  Highlander  then  tried  Latin,  which  created  a  smile  of 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  45 

surprise,  and  drew  forth  an  immediate  reply.  This  was  inter- 
rupted by  the  remark  that  English  would  probably  be  more 
convenient  for  both  parties.  The  tourist,  who  turned  out  to 
be  an  Oxford  student,  laughing  heartily  at  the  interview,  gladly 
accepted  the  invitation  of  the  tacksman  to  accompany  him  to 
his  thatched  house  and  share  his  hospitality.  He  was  sur- 
prised on  entering  "the  room"  to  see  a  small  library  in  the 
humble  apartment.  "Books  here!11  he  exclaimed,  as  he 
looked  over  the  shelves.  "  Addison,  Johnson,  Goldsmith, 
Shakespeare — what  !  Homer  too  ?"  The  farmer,  with  some 
pride,  begged  him  to  look  at  the  Homer  ;  it  had  been  given 
as  a  prize  when  he  was  a  student  at  the  university. 

"  As  proud  as  a  Scot"  is  an  old  proverb.  It  is  Sir  Walter 
who  sketches  the  portrait  in  "Richie  Moniplies  :"  "'Now 
there  goes  Scotch  Jockey  with  all  his  good  and  bad  about  him,' 
said  Master  George.  '  That  fellow  shows,  with  great  liveli- 
ness of  coloring,  how  our  Scotch  pride  and  poverty  make  liars 
and  braggarts  of  us  ;  and  yet  the  knave,  whose  every  third 
word  to  an  Englishman  is  a  boastful  lie,  will,  I  warrant  you,  be 
a  true  and  tender  friend  and  follower  to  his  master,  and  has, 
perhaps,  parted  with  his  mantle  to  him  in  the  cold  blast, 
although  he  himself  walked  in  cuerpo,  as  the  Don  says. 
Strange  that  courage  and  fidelity — for  I  will  warrant  that  the 
knave  is  stout — should  have  no  better  companion  than  this 
swaggering  braggadocio  humor.'  ' 

The  Scot  clings  tenaciously,  wander  as  he  may,  to  the  ties 
and  associations  of  his  youth.  Sir  Thomas  Munroe  was  born 
in  Glasgow  ;  he  became  such  a  man  that  George  Canning  said 
of  him  that  Europe  never  produced  a  more  accomplished 
statesman,  nor  India,  so  fertile  in  heroes,  a  more  skilful 
soldier.  When  the  general,  after  his  long  absence  in  India, 
returned  to  Glasgow,  he  paid  a  visit  to  an  old  school-fellow 
who,  while  Munroe  had  pursued  his  work  abroad,  had  followed 
his  humbler  calling  of  enlightening  the  world  by  making 
candles  in  the  old  street  in  which  both  he  and  the  general 
were  born.  "  Well,  Mr.  llurvie,"  said  Sir  Thomas,  as  he 


46  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

entered  the  shop,  "  do  you  remember  me  ?"  Harvie  gazed 
for  some  time  at  the  tall,  gaunt  figure  before  him,  striving  to 
recall  his  features.  At  last  he  said,  "  Are  ye  Millie  Munroe  ?" 
"  I'm  just  Millie  Munroe,"  said  the  other  ;  and  then  the  two 
plunged  into  a  long  talk,  in  which  all  the  differences  of  social 
rank  and  occupation  were  buried  in  the  memories  of  "  auld 
lang  syne."  The  nickname  "  Millie"  came  from  the  fact  that, 
in  those  early  days,  he  was  the  hero  of  the  school  ;  he  had  a 
proficiency  in  "milling,"  and  was  the  hero  of  a  hundred 
fights. 

Not  but  that  the  Scot  can  be  "  sly  and  sleekit"  on  occasion. 
We  remember  to  have  read  an  awkward  illustration  of  this.  A 
well-known  and  very  able  practitioner,  but  not  less  remarkable 
for  a  captious  and  troublesome  temper,  sought  admission  into 
the  Medical  Club  of  Glasgow.  By  the  laws  of  the  club  one 
black  ball  was  sufficient  for  exclusion  ;  the  gentfeman  who  had 
proposed  his  professional  brutber  fearing,  perhaps,  that  the 
fervor  of  his  eloquence  might  permit  this  anti-social  element  to 
slip  in,  and  thereby  injure  the  harmony  of  the  fraternity,  re- 
solved to  sacrifice  friendship  at  the  shrine  of  duty,  and,  as  the 
ballot-box  came  round,  he  slipped  in  a  black  ball.  But  what 
was  the  surprise  of  all  present  when,  on  opening  the  repository 
of  the  silent  voices  of  the  club,  it  was  found  they  were  all  of 
the  same  color,  and  all  black  ! 

There  are  singular  contradictions  in  the  Scottish  character  ; 
hardness  and  tenderness  seem  to  meet  and  mingle  in  equal  pro- 
portions, the  sarcastic  and  the  reverential  perpetually  striving 
for  mastery  ;  how  they  rejoice  if  they  are  able  to  espy  some- 
thing in  a  train  or  chain  of  reasoning  through  which  they  can 
pierce  ! — and,  on  the  other  hand,  they  become  most  delight- 
fully unreasonable,  and  bow  themselves  down  before  some 
single  and  solitary  touch  of  truly  affectionate  eloquence  ;  they 
are  unable  to  resist  it,  and  they  have  no  desire  to  attempt  to  do 
so.  Speculative  hard-headedness  unites  in  the  national  character 
with  a  sublime  and  lofty  enthusiasm  concerning  things  alto- 
gether remote  and  intangible. 


THE    HUMORS    OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  47 

The  logical  and  the  poetical  thus  wonderful!}'  mingle  in  the 
national  character.  They  have  carried  logic  into  their  theol- 
ogy as  persistently  even  as  Rome  herself.  Andrew  Hunter 
was  a  member  of  the  United  Presbyterian  Greyfriars  congrega- 
tion. He  dared  to  permit  himself  to  be  employed  to  erect  the 
Episcopal  Meeting  House  of  St.  Andrew's,  Glasgow,  and  from 
an  old  church  minute-book  we  have  the  following  minute  : 
"  26th  April,  1750.  The  Session,  understanding  by  the  Mod- 
erator and  some  members  of  the  Session  that  they  had  con- 
versed privately  with  Andrew  Hunter,  mason,  a  member  of 
this  congregation,  who  had  engaged  to  build  the  Episcopal 
Meeting  House  in  this  place,  and  have  been  at  great  pains  in 
convincing  him  of  the  great  sin  and  scandal  of  such  a  practice, 
and  the  Session,  understanding  that  notwithstanding  thereof  he 
has  actually  begun  the  work,  they  therefore  appoint  him  to  be 
cited  to  the  Session  at  their  meeting  on  Thursday  after  ser- 
mon ;"  but  the  unfortunate  builder  prosecuted  his  work,  so 
he  was  forthwith  excommunicated  and  "  denied  all  church 
benefit."  The  church  rose  in  about  twelve  months.  Then 
went  abroad  a  saying  that  Alexander  Beelzebub  was  the  master 
mason  of  the  new  English  chapel  ;  and  that  Andrew  Hunter 
got  Satanic  help  in  his  Babylonish  work. 

But  the  more  domestic  humors  of  the  Scottish  character  are 
brought  out  in  many  illustrations.  Hugh  Boyd  presents  us 
with  one,  lying  immediately  to  hand  : 

"  Since  the  introduction  of  the  steamboat  and  railway,  the 
Glasgow  merchant,  the  professional  man,  and  the  more  affluent 
tradesman,  manages  on  the  shores  of  the  attractive  Clyde  to 
give  his  family,  annually,  sixty  days  or  more  '  o'  the  saut- 
water.'  Mr.  Mac  (a  Maclean,  Mackenzie,  or  a  MacGregor) 
had  accordingly  located  the  family  group  in  an  attractive 
4  neuk, '  convenient  for  steamer  and  rail.  He  was  a  hospitable 
man,  and  one  Saturday  invited  from  Scotland's  great  commer- 
cial centre  a  larger  party  than  usual,  thereby  causing  the  douce 
and  prudent  Mrs.  Mac  some  anxiety  ;  for  she  dreaded  that,  if 
the  '.control  '  department  were  that  day  deficient,  the  small 


48  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

hours  of  the  Sabbath  morning  might  be  most  improperly  in- 
vaded. Dinner  passed  off  ;  but  it  was  observed  that  Mrs.  Mac 
and  the  ladies  sat  afterward,  as  the  host  thought,  inconveniently 
long — so  much  so  that,  had  he  dared,  he  would,  by  way  of 
reminder,  have  asked  his  wife  what  month  followed  February. 
The  ladies  at  last  retired,  and  after  two  or  more  rounds  of 
good  port  and  sherry,  the  evening  being  damp,  there  was  a 
unanimous  call  for  whiskey-toddy.  Mrs.  Mac  was  en  rapport 
with  all  that  was  passing,  and  was  sanguine  that  when  edition 
No.  1  of  the  '  barely-bill  '  was  discussed,  the  gentlemen  would 
appear  in  the  drawing-room.  It  is  but  fair  to  state  that  a 
majority  of  the  visitors  wished  then  to  adjourn,  and  hinted 
that  they  thought  Mrs.  Mac  expected  them  to  join  her  and  the 
ladies.  On  this  being  stated  to  the  host,  he  became  somewhat 
emphatic,  and  declared  that  he  was  '  Julius  Caesar'  in  his  own 
house,  and  forthwith  rang  the  bell  for  a  further  supply  of  hot 
water,  which  was  instantly  brought.  The  tumblers  were  re- 
plenished, when  the  door  immediately  behind  the  host  quietly 
opened,  and  the  figure  of  a  female  appeared,  which  was  rec- 
ognized to  be  that  of  Mrs.  Mac.  '  Gentlemen, '  said  the  amia- 
ble lady,  '  I  beg  you  to  finish  your  whiskey -toddy,  and  to  enjoy 
yourselves  ;  but  as  for  you,  Julius  Caesar,  I  shall  at  once  put 
you  to  bed,  so  come  along.'  The  Roman  Emperor,  wisely 
considering  that  discretion  is  the  better  part  of  valor,  did  as  he 
was  bid." 

The  Anderston  Relief  Church  of  Glasgow  arose  from  one  of 
the  most  eminent,  successful,  and  notable  manufacturers  of 
that  city  declining  to  stand  church  censure.  He  and  his  wife 
one  Sabbath  were  proceeding  to  their  own  place  of  worship  in 
Duke  Street ;  a  heavy  shower  of  rain  came  on,  and  they  turned 
aside  into  the  iron  church  of  the  Establishment.  For  this 
grievous  offence  they  were  both  ordered  to  stand  a  sessional 
rebuke  ;  he  would  not  submit  to  it,  and  the  establishment  of 
the  Anderston  Relief  Church  was  the  result.  The  pulpit  of  the 
new  building  was  well  supplied  ;  and  the  services,  although 
conducted  by  clergymen  of  the  same  order,  were  described  as 


THE    HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  49 

"  grand  sermons,  but  out  of  a  foul  dish."  Sectarian  feeling 
ran  very  high,  and  even  the  young  understood  the  party  ani- 
mosities. 

The  weather  in  Scotland  is  a  delicate  subject  for  a  visitor  to 
criticise  with  a  native,  as  remarks  upon  it  may  lead  to  a  very 
long  sermon,  as  in  the  following  instance  : 

"  Well,  John,  this  is  a  very  wet  day."  "  No  ava  (not  at 
all),  sir,"  replied  John,  rather  sternly.  "  It's  a  wee  saft 
(somewhat  moist),  but  it's  no  a  wat  day.  Raley,  sir,  it  pro- 
voks  me  at  times  to  hear  the  remarks  o'  some  o'  the  Englishcrs. 
I  recollect  an  English  leddy  who  cam  here  a  few  years  syne 
(since),  and  she  wrot  to  her  friens  that  she  had  been  a  week 
in  Scoteland,  and  had  never  seen  a  dry  day  nor  a  smiling  face, 
and  would  remain  nae  langer.  Noo,  sir,  you  maun  (must) 
admit  it's  vera  wrang  for  any  wooman,  leddy  or  no  leddy,  to 
write  in  that  inainer  aboot  ony  kintra,  mair  speecialiie  Scoteland, 
the  kintra  aboon  a'  ithers  (above  all  others)  that  every  ane  o' 
them,  gentle  or  simple  (high  or  low),  be  they  English  or  Ameri- 
can, ay,  or  French  or  Spanish — the  bonnie  Empress  o'  the  French 
o'  the  number — are  sae  proud  to  brag  o'  (boast  of),  for  gin  (if) 
they  hae  a  drap  'o  Scotia's  bluid  in  their  veins,  they're  shure  to 
tell  you  o't  (of  it),  let  them  alane  for  that  ;  and  then  to  talk 
o'  the  wather  (weather)  as  if  Providence  dldna  (did  not)  ken 
(know)  hoo  (how)  to  regulate  the  elements.  Na,  na,  I'm  no 
the  man  to  say  that  Scotch  folks  haena  their  fauts  (have  not 
their  faults)  as  weel  as  English  ;  but  I  will  say  this,  they  get 
awsomely  (terribly)  spoiled  and  contaminated  after  they  gang 
among  the  Southrons  (among  the  English)  ;  they  are  a'  recht 
eiteuch  (all  right  enough)  while  they're  at  hame.  Ma  faither 
ance  wus  sairly  tried  wi*  his  ain  brother  in  the  Wast  Indies  as 
to  the  mainer  in  which  he  received  ma  brither  oot  there,  for  it 
showed  raal  clear  hoo  Scotchmen  get  altered  from  what  they 
wur  afore  they  left  their  ain  chimla  lug  (fireside).  Ma  faither 
said  to  ma  brither,  '  Willie,  there's  naething  for  you,  my  dear 
lad,  to  do  at  hame  ;  you'd  better  gang  oot  to  your  uncle  in  the 
Wast  Indies,'  which  Willie  vera  properly  at  ance  said  he  waud 


50  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

do,  or  onything  else,  puir  fallow,  his  faither  wished  o'  him. 
Accordingly,  ma  faither  fitted  oot  Willie,  and  ma  mither  pack't 
his  kist  (box)  fu  (full)  o'  sarks  (shirts)  and  nice  claes  (good 
clothes),  and  sent  him  ower  the  sea  to  Liverpool,  and  got  a 
frien  there  to  tak  a  passage  for  him  in  a  ship  for  the  Wast  In- 
dies, to  the  place  whar  his  uncle  wus.  Noo,  the  fact  is,  ma 
uncle  had  become  a  great  man  oot  there,  although  when  he 
first  went  to  a  distant  land,  I  hae  hard  ma  faither  often  say,  he 
wus  onnly  a  bit  o'  a  dark  or  an  owerseer  to  the  blaiks  (blacks). 
Well,  on  his  landing  frae  the  ship,  he  gaed  strecht  (went 
straight)  to  his  uncle,  wha  (who)  recaived  him  vera  cauldly, 
which  was  eneuch  to  doomfoonder  ony  puir  lad.  '  Who  are 
you  ?  '  said  his  uncle.  '  I'm  yur  ain  brither's  son,  sir,  and  of 
consequence  yure  nevy  ' — a  vera  discreet  and  proper  answer  for 
my  brither  to  mak.  '  Hoo  (how)  am  I  to  know  that  ?  '  and  he 
said  it  in  a  vera  angry  tone  o'  voice.  Wasn't  it  eneuch 
(enough)  to  brak  doon  ony  lad's  speerit  ?  '  Where's  your  letter 
o'  introduction  to  me  ? '  said  his  uncle.  '  Ma  faither,  sir, 
didna  think  there  wus  ony  need  for  me  to  bring  a  bit  o'  a  note 
to  you.'  '  The  deuce  he  didn't,'  wus  the  answer  ma  brither 
got  to  this.  '  IIoo  (how)  am  I  to  ken  (know)  that  you  are  not 
a  young  scamp  ?  '  Wasn't  that  an  awfu?  remark  to  drap  frae 
his  lips  ?  But  ma  brither's  bluid  wus  a  wee  up  at  this,  and  he 
said — for  he  tellt  me  the  hale  (whole)  story  in  his  letter — '  Oh, 
sir,  I  was  always  vera  respectable,  and  I  never  gied  mafriens 
(gave  my  friends)  ony  trouble  or  vexation  except  that  they 
cou'dna  fin  (could  not  find)  ony  employment  for  me  aboot  the 
farm,  which  is  the  cause  o'  my  coming  oot  to  the  Wast  Indies. ' 
Ills  uncle  then  lookit  him  recht  through  and  a'  ower,  and  tellt 
him  he  cou'd  see  nae  family  likeness,  to  which  ma  brither 
doucely  (prudently)  made  answer — for  he  wus  always  a  vera 
respectfu'  lad,  wi  (with)  nice  mainers  o'  his  ain — '  I  assure 
you,  sir,  yur  ain  brither  is  ma  faither.'  To  this  his  uncle  vera 
unkindly  remarked,  '  I  fear  a  strange  bull  then  must  hae  strayed 
into  the  pastures,  as  ma  brither  could  never  be  sae  fool -like  a 
man  as  to  send  a  son  o'  his  oot  to  the  Wast  Indies  without  a 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  51 

letter  o'  introduction.'  '  But  he  did  sae,  I  assure  you,  sir,  and 
I'm  speaking  naething  but  the  trowth. '  '  Weel,'  said  ma  uncle, 
who  aifter  «'  wus  a  vera  t/wzW-hearted  man,  '  I  thocht,  when  I 
left  Scoteland,  there  was  mair  (more)  common-sense  in  ma 
family  there  than  appears  to  be  the  case.'  That  remark,  when 
ma  faither  read  it  in  ma  brither's  letter,  stuck  into  him  awfu'. 
He  then  took  anilher  awsom  keen  glowr  (look)  at  Willie,  and 
then  handed  him  a  bit  piece  o'  paper  and  a  quill  (a  pen),  at  the 
same  time  pushing  the  inkstand  afore  him,  '  as  he  wished,'  he 
said,  '  to  see  what  kind  o'  hand  o'  write  his  was. '  Well,  when 
he  saw  it,  he  tellt  Willie  it  was  a  confoondedly  bad  stick  ;  but 
ma  brither,  who  had  been  sairly  tried  that  day  by  his  uncle, 
never  ance  lost  himseV  the  least  in  his  replies,  for  he  wus  a 
shrewd  Scoatch  callan  (lad,  boy),  and  but  for  that  he  would 
hae  been  druven  (driven)  distrackit  (distracted)  ;  he  juist  met 
it  candidly  by  telling  his  uncle  that  he  had  been  waur  (worse) 
at  the  writing  at  school  than  twything  else,  and  that  it  wus  a 
la-mentable  fact.  Hooever,  ma  uncle  began  at  last  to  tak  to 
ma  6rither,  and  behaved  vera  cleverly  (very  kindly)  to  him, 
and  vera  soon,  by  my  faith,  made  a  man  o'  him.  Ma  faither, 
aifter  being  weel  blown  (blown)  up  by  his  brither,  began  to  be 
o'  opinion  that  it  would  hae  been  the  better  coorse  to  hae  gien 
(have  given)  Willie  a  bit  o'  a  line  o'  introduction  at  first  to  his 
uncle,  but  ma  faither  never  liket  to  be  thocht  wrang,  and  nae 
Scoatchman  does,  for  its  unco  (very)  seldom  they  are  wrang." 
The  entire  of  this  is  very  Scotch. 

And  this  reminds  us  of  another  illustration  belonging,  per- 
haps, to  that  droll  reticence  to  which  we  have  already  referred  ; 
for  this  also  we  are  indebted  to  the  pleasant  garrulity  of  Hugh 
Boyd.  He  says  : 

"  My  late  esteemed  friend  Mr.  John  Mackie,  M.P.  for  Kirk- 
cudbrightshire, used  to  describe  an  extensive  view  which  one 
of  a  friend's  hills  commanded.  This  he  never  failed  to  call  to 
the  attention  of  his  English  visitors  when  the  weather  was  clear. 
Willy  the  shepherd  was  always  the  guide  on  such  occasions,  as 
he  knew  precisely  the  weather  that  would  suit. 


52  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  One  forenoon  an  English  friend  was  placed  under  Willy's 
charge  to  mount  the  hill  in  order  to  enjoy  the  glorious  view. 
'  I  am  told,  shepherd,  you  are  going  to  show  me  a  wonderful 
view. '  '  That's  quite  true,  sir. '  '  What  shall  I  see  ?  '  '  Weel, 
ye'll  see  a  feck  (many)  o'  kingdoms,  the  best  part  o'  sax,  sir.' 
'  What  the  deuce  do  you  mean,  shepherd  ? '  '  Weel,  sir,  I 
mean  what  I  say.'  '  But  tell  me  all  about  it.'  '  I'll  tell  ye 
naething  mair,  sir,  until  we're  at  the  tap  o'  the  hill.'  The  top 
reached,  Willy  found  everything  he  could  desire  in  regard  to  a 
clear  atmosphere.  lNoo,  sir,  I  hope  you've  got  guid  een?' 
'  Oh,  my  eyes  are  excellent.'  '  Then  that's  a'  recht  (right),  sir. 
Noo,  div  ye  see  yon  hills  awa  yonder  ?  '  '  Yes,  I  do.'  '  Weel, 
sir,  those  are  the  hills  o'  Cumberland,  and  Cumberland's  in  the 
kingdom  o'  England  ;  that's  ae  kingdom.  Noo,  sir,  please 
keep  coont.  Then,  sir,  I  must  noo  trouble  you  to  look  ower 
(over)  yonder.  Div  ye  see  what  I  mean  ?  '  '  Yes,  I  do. ' 
'  That's  a'  recht.  That's  the  Isle  o'  Man,  and  that  was  a 
kingdom  and  a  sovereignty  in  the  families  o'  the  Earls  of 
Derby  and  the  Dukes  o'  Athol,  frae  the  days  o'  King 
David  o'  Scotland,  if  ye  ken  anything  o'  Scotch  history.' 
'  You  are  quite  right,  shepherd.'  '  Quite  recht,  div  ye  say  ;  I 
wouldna  hae  brocht  ye  here,  sir,  if  I  wus  to  be  wrang.  Weel, 
that's  two,  kingdoms.  Be  sure,  sir,  to  keep  coont.  Noo,  turn 
awee  aboot.  Div  ye  see  youn  land  yonder  ?  It's  a  bit  farder, 
but  never  mind  that,  sae  lang  as  ye  see  it. '  'I  see  it  dis- 
tinctly.' '  Weel,  that's  a'  I  care  aboot.  Noo,  sir,  keep  coont, 
for  that's  Ireland,  and  maks  three  kingdoms  ;  but  there's  nae 
trouble  aboot  the  niest  (next),  for  ye're  stannen  on't — I  mean 
Scoteland.  Weel,  that  maks  four  kingdoms  ;  div  ye  admit 
that,  sir  ? '  '  Yes,  that  makes  four,  and  you  have  two  more  to 
show  me.'  '  That's  true,  sir,  but  don't  be  in  sic  (such)  a 
hurry.  Weel,  sir,  just  look  up  aboon  (above)  yer  heed,  and 
this  is  by  far  the  best  of  a'  the  kingdoms  ;  that,  sir.  aboon  is 
Heaven.  That's  five  ;  and  the  saxth  kingdom  is  that  doon 
below  yer  feet,  to  which,  sir,  I  hope  you'll  never  gang;  but 
that's  a  point  on  which  I  cannot  speak  with  ony  certainty.' ' 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH   CHARACTER.  53 

The  humors  of  the  Scottish  character  abound  in  thousands  of 
illustrations.  "  Jeanie,"  said  a  stanch  old  Cameronian  to  his 
daughter,  "Jeanie,  my  lass,  it's  a  very  solemn  thing  to  be 
married."  "  I  ken  that  weel,"  said  the  sensible  lassie  ;  "  but 
it  is  a  great  deal  solemner  not  to  be."  And  most  of  our  read- 
ers will  remember  the  prayer  of  Preacher  Geordie  for  the  mag- 
istracy of  Lochmaben  ;  it  was  once  far-famed  :  ' '  Lord,  we  pray 
Thee  to  remember  the  magistracy  of  Lochmaben,  such  as  they 
are  !"  The  old  life  of  Scotland  tended  to  elicit  and  give  effect 
to  many  singular  varieties  of  character. 

A  grim,  and  yet  a  droll  aspect,  to  our  modern  notions  have 
the  following  advertisements.  They  certainly  indicate  that 
there  was  a  time  when  far  more  attention  was  paid  to  the  adorn- 
ment of  the  dead.  It  was  a  mournful  and  lugubrious  occupa- 
tion, but  those  who  pursued  it  carried  on  a  very  profitable 
trade,  and  this  continued,  until  the  beginning  of  the  present 
century,  to  be  so  fruitful  a  branch  of  industry,  and  the  materials 
used  for  the  dressing  of  corpses  were  considered  so  important, 
that  Acts  of  Parliament  were  passed  in  favor  of  woollen  or  linen, 
as  one  branch  or  other  of  the  manufactures  appeared  to  need 
encouragement.  The  following  advertisements  have  a  very 
cheerful  and  pleasant  ring. 

First,  here  is  one  from  Glasgow  in  1747  :  "  James  Hodge, 
who  lives  in  the  first  close  above  the  Cross,  on  the  west  side 
of  the  High  Street,  continues  to  sell  burying  crapes,  ready 
made  ;  and  his  wife's  niece,  who  lives  with  him,  dresses  dead 
corpses  at  as  cheap  a  rate  as  was  formerly  done  by  her  aunt, 
having  been  educated  by  her  and  perfected  at  Edinburgh,  from 
whence  she  has  lately  arrived,  and  has  brought  with  her  the 
newest  and  latest  fashions  !" 

Here  is  another  advertisement  in  1789  :  "  Miss  Christy  Dun- 
lop,  Leopard  Close,  High  Street,  dresses  the  dead,  as  usual,  in 
the  most  fashionable  manner."  Again  in  1799  :  "  Miss  Chris- 
tian Brown,  at  her  shop,  west  side  of  Hutcheson  Street,  carries 
on  the  business  of  making  dead  flannels  and  getting  up  burial 
crapes,  etc.  She  also  carries  on  the  mantua-making  at  her 


54  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

house  in  Duncan  Close,  High  Street,  where  a  mangle  is  kept 
as  formerly. ' ' 

Very  strange  are  some  of  the  traits  of  Scottish  character. 
We  ought,  did  our  space  permit,  to  devote  a  chapter  to  the 
humors  of  the  medical  profession.  It  is  related  by  an  eminent 
physician  that  a  wealthy  citizen,  who  had  the  misfortune  to  re- 
quire his  visits,  was  in  the  custom  of  having  the  gold  always 
ready  in  his  hand  to  electrify  the  doctor  when  he  felt  his  pulse. 
One  day  it  happened,  on  the  doctor's  making  his  stated  call, 
that  the  servant  informed  him,  "  All  is  over  !"  "  Over  ?"  re- 
echoed the  doctor,  as  the  remembrance  of  the  accustomed  fee 
flashed  on  his  mind.  tc  Impossible  !  he  cannot  be  dead  yet ; 
no,  no  ;  let  me  see  him — some  trance  or  heavy  sleep,  perhaps." 
The  doctor  was  introduced  into  the  sable  apartment  ;  he  took 
the  hand  of  the  pale  corpse,  applied  to  that  artery  which  once 
ebbed  with  life,  gave  a  sorrowful  shake  of  his  head,  while,  with 
a  trifling  legerdemain,  he  relieved  from  the  grasp  of  death  two 
guineas,  which,  in  truth,  had  been  destined  for  him.  "  Ay, 
ay,  good  folks,"  said  the  doctor,  "  he  is  dead  ;  there's  a  des- 
tiny in  all  things,"  and,  full  of  shrewd  sagacity,  turned  upon 
his  heel. 

Among  the  national  characteristics  of  Scotland  was  that  fes  - 
tive  meeting  of  thrifty  fingers,  called  the  "  Rocking."  Bums 
celebrates  it  : 

"  On  Fasten  E'en  we  had  a  rocking, 
To  ca'  the  crack  and  weave  our  stocking  ; 
And  there  was  muckle  fun  and  joking, 

Ye  need  na  doubt  ; 
At  length  we  had  a  hearty  yoking 

At  sang  about." 

It  was,  in  fact,  the  most  popular  evening  pastime  during  the 
winter.  It  combined,  in  the  thrift  and  enjoyment,  the  spin- 
ning-wheel and  the  needle,  the  song  and  the  dance.  The  Scot- 
tish peasantry  were  wont  to  take  great  pride  in  a  stock  of 
home-made  linen  ;  and  the  family  was  poor  indeed  where  the 


THE   HUMORS    OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  55 

gudewife  was  without  an  enviable  portion  of  such  goods  in  con- 
templation of  her  own  household  necessities,  and  of  her  bairns' 
marriage  providing.  How  true  it  is  that  such  feelings  of  de- 
cent pride  have  their  moral  advantages.  Is  it  not  true  that  the 
thrift,  the  cleanliness,  and  independent  spirit,  proved  by  the 
possession  of  such  articles,  are  at  least  akin  to  virtue  ?  Some 
pieces  were  kept  with  singular  care,  such  as  were  of  a  particular 
texture  or  as  being  the  manufacture  of  a  beloved  mother. 
But,  above  all,  there  was  one  called  "  the  weel-hained  web" — 
that  was  the  dead  linen,  reserved  for  winding-sheets.  That 
was  consecrated,  and  there  were  usually  several  ready-made 
robes  of  the  same  stuff  to  dress  the  body  ere  the  blood  was 
cold,  "  for,"  said  a  gudewife,  "  there's  a  number  of  us  yet  to 
bury  ;"  and  many  a  necessary  and  comfort  of  life  would  be 
denied  ere  the  property  of  the  dead  could  be  violated.  And 
"  the  weel-hained  web,"  the  robe  of  death,  was  not  carelessly 
shown  ;  none  but  friends  know  anything  about  this  attire,  and 
their  exhibition  and  history  are  only  confided  to  favorites,  or  at 
a  time  when  hearts  are  interchanging  their  secret  thoughts. 
On  such  occasions  you  would  observe  the  eye  filled  with  tears, 
started  by  mournful  recollections  or  anticipations,  and  all  con- 
versation conducted  in  whispers,  as  if  a  dread  being  were 
present  and  hallowing  the  elements  before  them.  But  "  the 
weel-hained  web"  was  not  the  work  of  the  Rocking  ;  that  was 
altogether  too  blithe  an  occasion  for  such  associations  and 
thoughts  ;  that  was  the  hour  of  the  spinning-wheel.  As 
Robert  Nicholl  says  and  sings  with  true  nationality  : 

"  The  spinnin'-wheel !  the  spinnin '-wheel !  the  very  name  is  dear  ; 
It  minds  me  o'  the  winter  nichts,  the  blithest  o'  the  year  ; 
O'  oozie  hours  in  hamely  ha's,  while  frozen  was  the  wiel 
In  ilka  burn,  while  lasses  sang  by  Scotland's  spinnin'-wheel. 

"  The  auld  wife  by  the  ingle  sits,  an'  draws  her  cannie  thread  ; 
It  hauds  her  baith  in  milk  an'  meal,  an'  a'  thing  she  can  need  ; 
An'  gleesome  scenes  o'  early  days  upon  her  spirits  steal, 
Brought  back  to  warm  her  withered  heart  by  Scotland's  spinnin'- 
wheel  !' ' 


56  SCOTTISH    CHAEACTEBISTICS. 

The  capacious  kitchen,  or  more  frequently  the  barn,  was  well 
swept,  and  the  best  china  was  brought  out  for  the  occasion, 
and  the  tables  were  loaded  with  buttered  toast,  sweet-cakes, 
cheese,  ham,  honey,  jelly  ;  the  board  ever  replenished  as  the 
dainties  disappeared.  A  Scottish  Rocking  was  a  merry  time — 
a  time  of  flirting  and  wooing,  while  the  auld  wives  spun,  and 
the  gray -headed  gude  men  laughed  and  cracked  over  crops,  and 
markets,  and  news,  and  old  tales. 

Some  of  Robert  Nicholl's  verses  are  very  finely  descriptive 
in  their  humorsome  individuality  :  "  The  Auld  Beggar-man," 
"  The  Bailie,"  "  The  Provost,"  "  Fiddler  Johnnie,"  "  Bonnie 
Bessie  Lee,"  "Minister  Tarn,"  "The  Dominie."  The  fol- 
lowing of  "  My  Grandfather"  is  very  Scottish  : 

' '  Ance  proud  eneuch  was  I  to  sit 

Beside  thee  in  the  muirland  kirk, 
A  ruling  elder — ane  o'  weight, 

Nae  wonder  though  your  oe  did  smirk  : 
And  braw  eneuch  was  I  to  find 

My  head  the  preacher's  hand  upon, 
While  by  the  kirkyard  still  he  cracked 

Of  holy  things  with  Elder  John  ! 

"  Thy  daily  fireside  worship  dwells 

Within  this  inmost  soul  of  mine  ; 
Thy  earnest  prayer — sae  prophet-like — 

For  a'  on  earth  I  wadna'  tyne. 
And  you  and  grannie  sang  the  psalms 

In  holy  rapt  sincerity  ; — 
My  grannie  !  dinna  greet,  auld  man — 

She's  looking  down  on  you  and  me. 

' '  But  mair  than  a'  frae  beuks  so  auld — 

Frae  mony  treasured  earnest  page, 
Thou  traced  for  me  the  march  of  Truth, 

The  path  o'  Eight  frae  age  to  age  : 
A  peasant  auld,  and  puir,  and  deaf, 

Bequeathed  this  legacy  to  me, 
I  was  his  bairn — he  filled  my  soul 

With  love  for  liberty  !' ' 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  5? 

But  very  varied  and  dissimilar  are  the  illustrations  of  Scottish 
character. 

The  following  is  on  both  sides  thoroughly  Scotch. 

Robin  Carrick  was  one  of  the  earliest  bankers  of  Glasgow  ; 
he  came  to  Glasgow  a  poor  boy  ;  he  became  the  chief  and  lead- 
ing partner  of  the  old  Ship  Bank  ;  he  lived  and  he  died  a  grim, 
penurious  old  bachelor,  and  left  not  a  penny  to  any  benevolent 
institution  in  the  city  in  which  all  his  wealth  had  been  accumu- 
lated ;  but,  on  one  occasion,  the  old  miser  was  waited  on  by  a 
respectable  deputation  of  three  fellow-citizens,  for  a  subscrip- 
tion to  the  Royal  Infirmary,  then  in  its  infancy  ;  he  was 
requested  to  head  the  subscription,  and,  to  their  mortification 
and  surprise,  he  would  only  put  down  his  name  for  two 
guineas  ;  and  when  they  earnestly  besought  him  to  increase  his 
miserable  pittance,  he  talked  even  of  drawing  it  back.  He 
told  them  he  could  not  really  even  afford  that  sum,  bowed 
them  out  of  the  room,  encased  with  hoards  of  money,  repre- 
sented by  bills  and  other  documents. 

The  deputation  then  proceeded  to  Mr.  M'llquham,  one  of 
the  great  early  manufacturers  of  Glasgow,  to  ask  his  help.  He 
looked  down  the  list  of  subscribers,  but  exclaimed,  "  Bless  me, 
what's  this  ?  Banker  Carrick  only  two  guineas  /"  They  told 
the  manufacturer  that  the  banker  had  said  he  really  could  not 
afford  any  more.  "  What's  that  you  say  ?  Jamie" — to  his 
faithful  cash-keeper  and  confidant,  James  Davidson — ' '  Jamie, 
bring  me  the  bank-book,  and  a  check,  and  the  ink-bottle,  and 
a  pen,"  and  he  wrote  a  check  on  the  Ship  Bank  for  £10,000. 
Some  reports  give  a  much  larger  sum  ;  no  matter,  it  was  large. 
"  Now,'  Jamie,  run  down  as  fast  as  your  legs  will  carry  you  to 
the  bank,  and  bring  that  money  to  me." 

The  check  was  presented.  Old  Robin  stared.  "  Go  back," 
said  he,  "there's  some  mistake."  And  presently  he  came 
running  into  M'llquham's  counting-house  in  a  high  state  of 
fever.  "  What's  wrong  wi*  ye  the  day  ?"  said  the  banker. 
"  Nothing  in  the  least  degree  wrong.  I  only  suspect  there's 
surely  something  very  far  wrong  with  yourself  and  the  bank  ; 


58  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

for  my  friends,  these  douce  gentlemen  sitting  there  yonder, 
have  assured  me  that,  in  your  own  premises,  and  out  of  your 
own  mouth,  you  declared  you  could  only  afford  them  scrimp 
two  guineas  for  the  purpose  ;  and,  if  that  is  the  case,  I  think 
it  is  high  time  I  remove  some  of  my  deposits  out  of  your 
hands." 

With  some  reluctance  Robin  had  to  put  down  his  name  for 
fifty  guineas  before  Mr.  M'llquharn  would  cancel  his  check 
for  £10,000.  The  deputation  went  away,  scarce  less  amazed 
than  they  were  delighted.  But  we  have  not  done  with  Robin 
Carrick  yet,  for  one  of  the  mighty  notabilities  of  Glasgow, 
now  some  generations  back,  was  Robin  Carrick  ;  true,  he  was 
a  miserable  sinner,  but  his  name  is  connected  with  the  monetary 
history  of  Glasgow.  He  was  the  son  of  a  poor  clergyman  in 
Renfrewshire,  who  never  got  beyond  an  income  of  eighty 
pounds  a  year  ;  thus  Robin  came  into  Glasgow  a  poor  boy,  as 
before  stated,  and  died  in  1865,  at  the  age  of  eighty-six,  the 
principal  of  the  Glasgow  Ship  Bank,  having  amassed  a  fortune 
of  a  million  sterling.  He  was  a  bachelor,  exactly  of  the  type 
and  order  of  Jimmy  Wood  of  Gloucester  ;  it  is  said  he  was  one 
of  the  veriest  scrubs  or  misers  Glasgow  ever  knew  ;  and  yet, 
as  we  have  truly  said,  to  the  city  in  which  he  had  amassed  his 
enormous  wealth,  he  did  not  leave  for  any  of  its  charitable  in- 
stitutions a  single  penny.  An  elderly  damsel,  Miss  Paisley,  his 
niece,  kept  his  house  for  him  ;  they  lived  in  a  miserable  style, 
in  the  upper  flat  of  the  bank  premises  ;  he  carried  on  his  im- 
mense transactions  in  the  flat  below.  His  niece  and  house- 
keeper was  exactly  worthy  of  her  Uncle  Robin  ;  it  is  said  she 
would  price,  haggle,  or  banter  the  shopkeepers  down  to  the 
value  of  a  farthing  ;  and  a  writer  in  the  "  History  of  Glasgow" 
says  :  "  We  have  frequently  seen  her  hurrying  from  the  mar- 
ket in  King's  Street,  with  a  sheep's  head  and  trotters,  or  a 
string  of  flounders,  or  caller  herrings."  A  keen  old  boy  was 
Robin,  and  Glasgow  at  one  time  resounded  with  droll  stories 
concerning  him.  On  one  occasion  he  was  waited  upon  by  a 
rising  and  sprightly  customer  with  a  batch  of  bills  to  discount ; 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  59 

they  seemed  all  to  pass  current  with  the  exception  of  one,  the 
largest  in  amount  ;  thereat  Robin  shook  his  head.  "  Oh,  you 
need  not  hesitate  about  him,  Mr.  Carrick,"  said  the  proposed 
discounter,  "  for  he  has  started  and  keeps  his  carriage." 
"  Ou,  ay,"  said  Robin  ;  "  but  the  question  wi'  me  is,  can  he 
keep  his  legs  ?" 

One  day  when  Mr.  Carrick  was  sitting  in  his  private 
room  at  the  bank,  a  gentleman  (said  to  have  been  Thomas 
Stewart  of  The  Field),  who  was  upon  intimate  terms  with 
him,  called  to  transact  some  trifling  bank  business.  This 
matter  being  arranged,  these  gentlemen  sat  down  to  a 
sober  two-hand  crack,  which  Mr.  Carrick  enjoyed  very  much 
when  he  met  an  old  acquaintance.  All  of  a  sudden,  Mr.  Car- 
rick rose  up  and  proceeded  to  his  iron  safe,  from  which  he 
extracted  a  piece  of  paper,  carefully  folded  up,  which,  having 
spread  out,  he  laid  it  before  his  visitor,  saying,  "  Here  is  a  bill 
made  payable  at  the  bank  ;  will  you  be  so  good  as  to  give  me 
your  opinion  of  it?"  The  gentleman  having  examined  the 
bill,  returned  it  to  Mr.  Carrick,  saying,  "  I  am  greatly  sur- 
prised, Mr.  Carrick,  at  your  having  discounted  that  bill." 
"  How  so  ?"  said  Mr.  Carrick.  "  Because,"  said  the  gentle- 
man, with  an  emphasis,  "  it  is  a  forgery."  At  this  Mr.  Car- 
rick merely  gave  a  gentle  smile,  calmly  folded  up  the  bill,  and, 
on  rising  to  restore  it  to  his  iron  safe,  simply  remarked,  with  a 
nod,  "It  is  a  very  good  bill."  In  fact,  Mr.  Carrick  had  a 
shrewd  guess  that  the  bill  was  a  forgery  when  he  discounted  it, 
but  he  also  knew  that  it  was  sure  to  be  regularly  paid  when 
due  ;  he,  however,  was  desirous  of  ascertaining  from  another 
person  if  his  suspicions  were  likely  well  founded. 

Old  Robin  was  very  partial  to  transact  business  with  the 
respectable  Highland  drovers,  believing  that  the  Ship  Bank 
notes  would  not  soon  come  back  ;  once  upon  a  Tuesday  a 
Highland  drover  came  into  Mr.  Carrick's  private  room  with  a 
bill  having  three  days  to  run  before  becoming  due,  and  request- 
ing cash  for  it.  Robin  readily  agreed  to  take  the  bill,  remark- 
ing, however,  that  there  was  sixpence  of  discount  to  be  taken 


60  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

off.  "  Na,  na, "  said  the  Highlandman,  "  she  maun  hae  a'  te 
siller  !"  "I  can't  do  that,"  replied  Carrick,  "  the  discount 
must  be  deducted."  "  Hoot,  toot,"  exclaimed  the  drover, 
"  she'll  get  it  all  hersel'  on  Friday  ;  shust  gie  me  te  siller  !'' 
Carrick,  however,  was  obstinate  in  his  refusal,  and  so  carelessly 
handed  back  the  bill  to  the  Highlandman.  He  then  put  on  his 
spectacles  and  commenced  writing.  The  drover  walked  slowly 
away  to  the  room  door  with  the  bill  in  hand,  expecting  to  be 
called  back  ;  but  Carrick  continued  writing  without  taking  the 
least  notice  of  him.  The  Highlandman,  having  got  outside  the 
door,  kept  it  a  little  while  upon  the  jar,  but  still  grasping 
firmly  the  handle  of  the  door.  He  then  popped  in  his  head  at 
the  jar,  and  called  out  to  Carrick,  "  She'll  gie  't  for  te 
groat  !"  "  No,  no,"  replied  Carrick,  "  it  must  be  sixpence  !" 
"  "Well,  well,"  cried  the  drover,  "  if  it  maun  be  sae,  it  maun 
be  sae."  And  so,  sixpence  being  deducted,  the  bill  was  dis- 
counted. Such  was  Robin  Carrick,  a  character  on  whose  mem- 
ory we  can  linger  with  no  pleasure,  although  a  marked  and 
strong  man  in  his  day.  His  old  porter,  John,  served  him 
faithfully  for  fifty  years,  for  the  greater  part  of  which  time  he 
had  also  been  his  butler  ;  the  old  man  was  almost  as  great  a 
notability  in  the  city  as  his  master  ;  he  knew  every  merchant 
manufacturer  in  the  city,  and  all  their  kith  and  kin  ;  he  remem- 
bered and  had  conversed  with  the  great  Virginia  lords  when 
they  walked  the  Trongate,  in  their  scarlet  mantles,  in  their 
pride  of  place  ;  he  had  carried  in  his  arms,  when  he  was  an 
infant,  the  illustrious  Sir  John  Moore,  the  hero  of  Corunna, 
who  was  born  in  Glasgow,  and  distantly  related  to  Robin  Car- 
rick.  The  old  man  was  a  walking  history  of  Glasgow,  and  it 
was  supposed  when  his  master  died  that  poor  old  John  would 
be  certainly  noticed  handsomely  and  sufficiently  for  the  remain- 
der of  his  days  ;  but  the  old  miser  left  him  not  a  farthing,  not 
the  gratuity  of  a  year's  or  a  week's  wages  ;  and  he  died  in  the 
town's  hospital,  in  which  he  had  been  enrolled  as  a  pauper. 
He  was  a  polite,  communicative  old  man,  described  as  possess- 
ing a  heart  and  disposition  far  superior  to  that  of  the  miserable 


THE    HUMORS   OF    SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  61 

master  who  bad  for  fifty  years  received  the  benefit  of  his  honest 
services. 

Robin  had  odd  people  about  him,  especially  Mr.  John  Mar- 
shall, his  accountant — "  Old  Accountant  Marshall,"  as  he  was 
called  ;  he  was  very  fond  of  taking  bis  meridian,  which  gen- 
erally consisted  of  a  glass  of  real  Ferintosh,  strongly  savoring 
of  John  Ilighlandman's  handiwork,  but  he  was  equally  desirous 
of  doing  something  effectually  to  prevent  the  sweet  aroma  of 
the  peatrcek  being  discovered  by  his  breath,  therefore  he 
always  took  a  mouthful  of  oat-cake  toasted  brown  almost  to 
blackness  ;  but  he  doubted  the  efficacy  of  this  remedy,  and 
once,  while  he  and  Dr.  Towers,  a  well-known  Glasgow  phy- 
sician, were  holding  a  social  crack  in  the  Trongate,  Marshall 
thought  this  would  be  a  good  opportunity  to  ascertain  from 
the  doctor  if  he  knew  of  a  specific  certain  to  overwhelm  the 
smell  of  whiskey,  and  accordingly  he  put  the  question  direct  to 
the  doctor  ;  the  doctor  readily  answered,  "  Oh,  yes,  I  can  tell 
you,"  and  tapping  Mr.  Marshall  gently  on  the  shoulder, 
"  Johnny,  my  man,  if  you  take  a  glass  of  whiskey  and  dinna 
want  ony  one  to  ken  it,  just  take  two  glasses  of  rum  after  it, 
and  the  deil  ane  will  ever  suspect  ye  having  tasted  a  drap  o' 
whiskey." 

The  imperturbable  stolidity  of  the  Scotchman  has  often  been 
remarked  upon  as  one  of  the  chief  national  characteristics,  and 
especially  as  that,  perhaps,  which  has  won  for  him  pre-eminent 
success  in  almost  every  sphere  and  region  of  life  and  labor  ; 
and  Mr.  Boyd,  in  his  interesting  "  Reminiscences  of  Fifty 
Years,"  gives  us  an  illustration  of  this  in  the  story  of  the  non- 
elected  Scotch  laird,  who,  with  perfect  self-possession,  took  his 
seat  in  the  House  of  Commons.  He  says  :  "  The  following 
anecdote  I  heard  from  Mr.  Cutlar  Fergusson,  M.P.,  as  well  as 
from  the  laird  himself  the  day  after  the  occurrence.  I  wrote 
it  out  at  the  time,  and  it  appeared  shortly  afterward  in  the 
London  Magazine.  A  worthy  Scotch  proprietor,  whose  estate 
was  in  Kirkcudbrightshire,  then  represented  by  the  Right  Hon. 
R.  Cutlar  Fergusson,  the  Judge-Advocate  in  Lord  Melbourne's 


62  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Government,  came  up  to  London  for  a  few  weeks  shortly  after 
the  assembling  of  a  new  Parliament.  He  called  upon  his  right 
honorable  friend,  who  asked  him  what  he  could  do  for  him  in 
town.  The  laird  said  that  nothing  he  would  like  so  much  dur- 
ing his  stay  as  being  present  at  the  debates  in  the  House  of 
Commons.  '  That  being  the  case,'  said  the  Judge- Advocate, 
'I  will  have  your  name  placed  on  the  Speaker's  list. '  The 
following  evening  the  laird  was  early  in  his  attendance  at  the 
House,  found  his  name  on  the  list,  and  was  told  by  the  door- 
keeper to  enter.  Where  the  Speaker's  privileged  friends  sat 
he  knew  not,  but  up  the  body  of  the  House  he  walked,  and 
took  his  seat  on  the  second  bench  of  the  Opposition,  close  be- 
hind Sir  Robert  Peel.  An  interesting  debate  came  on,  and  the 
laird  sat  undisturbed  until  the  House  adjourned  at  midnight. 
Fortunately  for  him  there  was  no  division,  and  equally  fortu- 
nately it  was  a  new  Parliament.  Next  day  he  called  upon  Mr. 
Fergusson,  whose  first  inquiry  was  :  '  What  became  of  you,  as 
I  looked  for  you  in  vain  ?  '  '  Oh,'  said  the  laird,  '  I  saw  you 
moving  about  the  House,  and  tried  to  catch  your  eye.  I  was 
delighted  with  the  debate,  and  I  shall  now  be  a  constant  at- 
tendant.' From  the  laird's  vernacular  he  was  supposed  to  be  a 
recently  elected  Scotch  member,  and  being  a  tall,  portly,  gen- 
tlemanly-looking man,  so  far  as  appearance  went,  passed 
muster  very  well.  Next  night  found  the  laird  occupying  his 
former  seat.  However,  about  nine  o'clock,  Lord  Granville 
Somerset,  who  the  previous  evening  had  his  doubts  as  to  the 
genuineness  of  the  reputed  Scotch  M.P.,  went  to  the  sergeant- 
at-arms  and  asked  who  was  that  tall  man  sitting  behind  Sir 
Robert  Peel  ?  '  Oh,  he  is  a  Scotch  member,  one  of  yourselves, 
Lord  Granville. '  'I  doubt  that  exceedingly,'  said  his  lord- 
ship, '  and  I  doubt  his  being  a  member  at  all.' 

"  The  sergeant-at-arms,  all  excitement,  flew  round  behind 
the  Opposition  benches  and  gave  the  laird  a  sharp  tap  on  the 
shoulder,  desiring  him  to  come  to  him.  The  laird  so  far  com- 
plied, but  not  being  accustomed  to  be  treated  unceremoniously, 
*sked  the  stern  official  what  he  meant  ?  '  Why,  sir,  you  were 


THE    HL'MOHS   OF   SCOTTISH   CHARACTER.  63 

in  the  House  last,  night  ?  '  'I  was.'  '  You  sat  in  the  same 
place  you  have  now  been  occupying  ?  '  '  Yes,  the  very  same  ; 
and  what  right  have  you  to  disturb  me  ? '  '  You  are  in  my 
custody. '  '  In  your  custody  !  for  what  ?  Hands  off  ! '  ex- 
claimed the  laird  in  any  other  tone  than  a  mild  one.  '  Who 
are  you  ?  '  asked  the  sergeant.  '  Who  am  I  !  go  and  ask  Mr. 
Cutlar  Fergusson  ;  he  placed  my  name  on  the  Speaker's  list, 
and  if  there  is  any  mistake  ' — the  laird  being  now  very  angry — 
'  it  was  your  duty,  as  the  servant  of  the  House,  to  have  shown 
me  where  to  sit.'  The  sergeant-at-arms  was  so  far  relieved  ; 
but  still  holding  the  laird's  arm,  the  latter  again  exclaimed, 
'  Hands  off  !  '  and  being  a  powerful  man,  soon  wrested  himself 
from  the  official's  grasp.  '  Tell  me  where  my  place  is.'  This 
he  was  only  too  happy  to  do,  and  the  laird  now  took  his  fresh 
seat  in  St.  Stephen's,  under  considerable  excitement,  muttering 
to  the  sergeant-at-arms  that  it  was  a  matter  of  indifference  to 
him  where  he  sat,  provided  he  heard  the  speeches,  but  he  must 
beg  not  to  be  again  disturbed. 

"  This  escapade  of  my  countryman  in  the  House  of  Com- 
mons used  to  amuse  a  hospitable  friend  of  mine  in  town  be- 
yond measure,  the  more  so  from  the  fact  of  his  coming  from 
his  own  and  my  part  of  Scotland.  One  day,  after  dinner,  I 
was  asked  by  my  friend  to  tell  the  story,  and  finding  myself 
sitting  next  to  Mr.  William  Holmes,  M.P.,  the  Conservative 
'whip,'  I  remarked  that  Mr.  Holmes  would  correct  me  if  I 
went  wrong.  The  honorable  gentleman  was  kind  enough  after- 
ward to  say  that  I  had  told  it  right  well." 

This  imperturbability  of  the  Scottish  character  has  been  well 
illustrated  in  many  instances,  although  sometimes  it  has  been 
found  at  fault  ;  there  was  a  time  when  the  Scottish  commercial 
character  regaled  and  strengthened  itself  by  constant  appeals  to 
McCulloch's  Commercial  Dictionary,  and  this  was  so  frequently 
the  case  that  McCulloch  as  frequently  became  a  great  bore. 
Mr.  Boyd,  among  bis  numerous  reminiscences,  mentions  the 
instance  of  a  member  for  a  Scotch  borough,  who  on  the  occa- 
sion of  his  first  election,  having  to  address  his  constituents,  and 


64  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

finding  a  difficulty  in  obtaining  a  place  for  that  purpose,  the 
minister  of  the  parish  was  so  obliging  as  to  offer  him  the  use 
of  the  kirk  ;  every  corner  of  the  building  was  of  course 
crammed,  and  at  length  the  candidate  for  senatorial  honors 
was  seen  ascending  the  pulpit  with  a  large  volume  under  his 
arm.  "  Ay,  mon,  div  ye  see  that  he  is  ganging  up  into  the 
pulpit  wi'  the  Bible  under  his  arm  ?"  "  Na,  na,  it  canna  be 
the  Bible,  frae  the  binnen  [binding]  o'  the  buik. "  But  the 
mysterious  volume  was  soon  opened,  and  it  proved  to  be  Mc- 
Culloch's  Dictionary,  from  which  he  continued  reading  for  two 
hours,  instead  of  attempting  a  speech  of  his  own.  However, 
it  is  said  that  his  readings  from  McCulloch  secured  him  a  seat  in 
the  House,  and  McCulloch  himself  suffered  not  a  little  in  the 
way  of  quizzing  from  the  part  he  had  in  the  return  of  this 
member.  But  the  joke  remains  as  yet  untold,  for  when  he 
entered  the  House,  he  thought  to  dose  it  with  McCulloch  too  ; 
and  upon  one  sad  occasion  he  felt  himself  called  upon  to  assert 
his  principles  ;  he  had  a  boundless  sense  of  his  importance, 
and  did  not  fail  to  convey  this  idea  alike  to  the  members  of 
the  Treasury  and  the  Opposition  benches.  Upon  this  particu- 
lar occasion  he  entered  the  House  with  slow  step  and  grave 
countenance,  and  his  mercantile  lexicon  in  his  hand,  in  various 
portions  of  which  he  had  inserted  slips  of  paper,  quotations  to 
guide  him,  or  verify  his  statements  in  his  speech  ;  but  he 
found  that  the  debate  would  not  be  likely  to  give  him  his  de- 
sired opportunity  for  some  considerable  time,  for  an  hour  or 
two,  during  the  which  he  might  regale  himself  by  retiring  for 
dinner,  and  return  strengthened  for  the  conflict.  He  had  no 
sooner  gone,  having,  however,  allowed  sufficient  time  to  be 
assured  he  was  comfortably  engaged  with  the  affairs  of  the 
table,  when  one  of  the  wags  of  the  House,  a  facetious  member 
who  was  often  relieving  graver  cares  by  some  singular  excursion 
of  his  humor,  took  the  place  of  the  mercantile  member  who 
had  left  his  McCulloch  behind  him  on  his  seat.  The  wag  care- 
fully inspected  the  passages  indicated  in  the  volume,  but  turn- 
ing to  some  of  his  friends,  who  were  enjoying  the  scene,  he 


THE  HUMORS  OF   SCOTTISH  CHARACTER.  65 

said,  "  Why,  good  gracious  !  if  he  gives  us  all  these  readings 
he  must  speak  for  hours.  This  won't  do  ;  in  the  interests  of 
the  country,  and  our  domestic  felicity,  I  must  put  a  stop  to  it. 
We  shall  be  regularly  bombarded,  therefore  I  must  close  the 
channels  by  lifting  the  buoys."  So  he  proceeded  to  alter  all 
the  slips  of  paper  which  the  intending  orator  had  carefully 
arranged  to  lead  him  unerringly  along  through  his  oration — 
passages  which  were  indeed  to  constitute  not  only  the  main 
argument,  but  the  main  portion  of  his  speech.  The  post- 
prandial hour  came  ;  the  only  fear  was  lest  before  commencing 
he  should  refer  to  any  one  of  the  quotations,  and  by  its  defec- 
tion discover  the  remainder  ;  but  no,  the  awful  moment  came, 
and  he  rose.  After  a  very  few  introductory  remarks  he  said. 
"  I  shall  now  read  to  the  Hoose  what  Mr.  McCulloch  says." 
Up  went  the  spectacles  on  his  nose  ;  but,  alas  !  that  eminent 
political  authority  was  not  forthcoming  ;  up  and  down  and 
across  did  his  eyes  flit  and  wander,  but  without  avail  ;  then  he 
made  the  important  announcement  that  he  "  would  save  the 
time  of  the  Hoote"  (loud  cries  of  "  Hear,  hear  !"),  "  and 
proceed  to  anither  branch  of  the  subject  ;"  and  on  this  head  he 
would  also  refer  to  Mr.  McCulloch — but  with  like  success.  So 
after  floundering  and  floundering,  again  and  again  renewed,  he 
resumed  his  seat.  He  was  not  comforted  when  he  sat  down, 
for  an  old  and  experienced  member  asked  him  why  he  always 
referred  to  McCulloch's  brains  instead  of  using  his  own,  inform- 
ing him  that  he  had  a  copy  of  McCulloch,  and  that  it  was  ex- 
ceedingly likely  that  every  member  of  the  House,  able  to  form 
a  judgment,  had  a  copy  too.  Feuchtersleben,  in  his  "  Mental 
Physiology,"  has  said,  "  that  if  we  could  penetrate  into  the 
secret  foundations  of  human  events,  we  should  frequently  find 
the  misfortunes  of  one  man  caused  by  the  intestines  of 
another."  No  doubt  the  German  metaphysician  was  right  ;  in 
the  instance,  however,  of  the  Scottish  member,  his  own  intes- 
tines were  the  cause  of  his  postprandial  grief.  He  continued, 
however,  to  be  a  remarkable  man  in  the  House  ;  one  of  his 
fellow  members,  in  a  somewhat  uiifraternal  spirit,  remarking  if 


66  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

him  that  "  so  long  as  he  continued  in  the  House  he  must  be  a 
distinguished  member,  since  he  was  considered  the  very  ugliest 
member  in  it." 

Sir  Thomas  Dick  Lauder,  in  his  work  on  the  floods  of  Moray 
— a  work  the  interest  of  which  it  is  impossible  to  over-esti- 
mate— has  crowded  the  pages  of  his  entertaining  volume  with 
instances  of  a  kind  of  stolid  but  moral  dignity,  bearing  itself 
firmly  and  piously  in  the  presence  of  the  most  overwhelming 
terrors  of  the  tempest  and  the  flood.  He  tells  the  story  of 
John  Cly,  a  sturdy,  hale  man  of  sterling  independence  of  char- 
acter, who,  in  the  year  1829,  had  reached  his  seventy-fifth  an- 
niversary. All  his  life  he  appears  to  have  been  singularly  per- 
secuted by  floods  ;  he  suffered  by  that  in  1768,  then  by 
another,  in  1783,  his  house  and  mill  were  carried  away,  and 
he  was  left  penniless  ;  this  flood  fell  upon  him,  and  no  one 
else,  and  the  calamity  very  sorely  affected  him,  but  his  indom- 
itable spirit  rose  triumphant  over  all  his  troubles.  About  seven 
years  before  the  great  flood  of  1829,  he  undertook  to  improve 
a  piece  of  absolute  beach  of  two  acres,  entirely  covered  with 
enormous  stones  and  gravel.  But  John  knew  that  a  deep,  rich 
soil  lay  below  buried  there  by  the  flood  of  1768  ;  he  removed 
the  stones  with  immense  labor,  formed  them  into  a  bulwark 
and  inclosure  round  the  field,  trenched  down  the  gravel  to  the 
depth  of  four  or  five  feet,  and  brought  up  the  soil,  which  after- 
ward produced  the  most  luxuriant  crops.  His  neighbors  ridi- 
culed his  operations  while  they  were  in  progress,  saying  that  he 
would  never  have  a  crop  there.  "  Do  ye  see  these  ashen 
trees  ?"  said  John,  pointing  to  some  vigorous  saplings  growing 
near  ;  "  are  they  not  thriving  ?"  It  was  impossible  to  deny 
that  they  were.  "  Well,"  continued  John,  "  if  it  wunna  pro- 
duce corn,  I'll  plant  it  with  ash  trees,  and  the  laird  at  least 
will  hae  the  benefit."  The  fruits  of  John's  labors  were  all 
swept  away  by  the  direful  floods  of  the  third  of  August  ;  but 
pride  of  his  heart  as  this  improvement  had  been,  the  flood  was 
not  able  to  sweep  away  his  equanimity  and  his  philosophy  with 
liis  acres.  When  some  one  condoled  with  him  on  his  loss — 


THE    HUMORS    OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  07 

"  I  took  it  frae  Awcn  [the  river  Aven],  and  let  the  Awen  hae 
her  ain  again,"  he  said  with  emphasis.  And  when  a  gossiping 
tailor  halted  at  his  door  one  day,  charitably  to  bewail  his  loss, 
he  cut  him  short  by  pithily  remarking,  "  Well,  if  I  have  lost 
my  croft,  I  have  got  a  fish-pond  in  its  place,  where  I  can  fish 
independent  of  any  one."  After  the  year  1783,  he  built  his 
house  on  a  rock  that  showed  itself  from  under  the  soil,  at  the 
base  of  the  bank  bounding  the  glen  of  the  burn.  During  the 
late  flood,  the  water  was  dashing  up  at  his  door,  and  his  sister, 
who  was  older  than  he,  having  expressed  great  terror,  and  pro- 
posed that  they  should  both  fly  for  it — "  What's  the  woman 
afeard  o'  ?"  cried  John  impatiently.  "  Hae  we  not  baith  the 
rock  o'  nature  an'  the  Rock  o'  Ages  to  trust  till  ? — we'll  no  stir 
one  fit  !"  John's  first  exertion  after  the  flood  was  to  go  down  to 
Ballindallock  to  assist  the  laird  in  his  distress  ;  there  he  labored 
hard  for  three  days  before  the  laird  discovered  that  John  had 
left  his  own  haystack  buried  to  the  top  in  sand,  and  insisted  on 
his  going  home  to  disinter  it.  When  the  laird  talked  to  him 
of  his  late  calamity,  "Odd,  sir,"  said  he,  "I  dinna  regaird 
this  matter  hauf  sae  muckle  as  I  did  that  slap  i'  the  aughty 
three,  for  then  I  was  in  a  manner  a  marked  man.  Noo,  we're 
a'  sufferin'  thegither,  an'  I'm  but  neebourlike. "  Lauder  says 
that  the  people  of  this  district  bear  misfortunes  with  a  wonder- 
ful degree  of  philosophy,  arising  from  the  circumstance  of 
their  being  deeply  tinged  with  the  doctrine  of  predestination. 
"  I  was  much  gratified,"  says  Lauder,  "  by  my  interview  with 
honest  John  Cly.  While  I  was  sketching  him  unperceived, 
Mr.  Grant  was  doing  his  best  to  occupy  his  attention.  '  Well, 
now,  John,'  said  Mr.  Grant  to  him,  pointing  to  an  apparently 
impracticable  beach  of  stones  a  little  way  up  the  glen,  '  if  you 
had  improved  that  piece,  as  I  advised  you,  it  would  have  been 
safe  still,  for  you  see  the  burn  hasn't  touched  it  at  all.'  '  Na, 
fegs  !  '  replied  John,  with  a  most  significant  shake  of  his  head, 
'  gin  I  had  gruppit  her  in  wi'  stanes  that  cam  oot  o't,  whaur 
wad  she  hae  been  noo,  think  ye  ? — Odd.  I  kent  her  ower  lang. '  ' 
The  flax-miller's  croft  shared  the  same  fate  as  John  Cly's, 


68  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

and  the  mill  full  of  flax  was  sanded  up  to  the  beams  of  the  first 
floor. 

The  ancient  stories  of  Scotland  show  just  this  same  spirit 
upon  which  we  are  remarking. 

It  appears  certain  that  wolves  inhabited  the  forests  and  moun- 
tain fastnesses  of  Scotland  for  hundreds  of  years  after  they 
were  exterminated  from  England  and  Wales.  The  general  be- 
lief  is  that  they  were  finally  extirpated  about  the  year  1680, 
but  there  is  reason  to  suppose  that  they  existed  in  remote  dis- 
tricts considerably  after  that  period — indeed,  until  within  the 
last  hundred  years — certainly  so,  if  we  may  rely  upon  a  story 
told  by  Sir  Thomas  Dick  Lauder.  Macqueen,  the  laird  of  Pol- 
lochock,  on  the  Findhorn,  at  the  time  of  the  great  Moray 
floods,  1829,  is  believed  to  have  been  alive  at  the  time  of  the 
slaughter  of  the  last  wolf — indeed,  was  its  destroyer.  The 
story  is  as  follows  : 

"  A  poor  woman,  crossing  the  mountains  with  two  children, 
was  assailed  by  the  wolf,  and  her  infants  devoured,  and  she 
escaped  with  difficulty  to  Moyhall.  The  chief  of  Mackintosh 
no  sooner  heard  of  the  tragical  fate  of  the  babes,  than,  moved 
by  pity  and  rage,  he  dispatched  orders  to  his  clan  and  vassals 
to  assemble  the  next  day  at  twelve  o'clock,  to  proceed  in  a 
body  to  destroy  the  wolf.  Pollochock  was  one  of  those  vas- 
sals, and  being  then  in  the  vigor  of  youth,  and  possessed  of 
gigantic  strength  and  determined  courage,  his  appearance  was 
eagerly  looked  for  to  take  a  lead  in  the  enterprise.  But  the 
hour  came  and  all  were  assembled  except  him  to  whom  they 
most  trusted.  Unwilling  to  go  without  him,  the  impatient 
chief  fretted  and  fumed  through  the  hall,  till  at  length,  about 
an  hour  after  the  appointed  time,  in  stalked  Pollochock,  dressed 
in  his  full  Highland  attire  :  '  I  am  little  used  to  wait  thus  for 
any  man,'  exclaimed  the  chafed  chieftain,  '  and  still  less  for 
thee,  Pollochock,  especially  when  such  game  is  afoot  as  we  are 
boune  after  !  '  '  What  sort  o'  game  are  ye  after,  Mackintosh  ?  ' 
said  Pollochock  simply,  and  not  quite  understanding  his  allu- 
sion. '  The  wolf,  sir,'  replied  Mackintosh  ;  '  did  not  my  mes- 


THE    HUMORS   OF    SCOTTISH   CHARACTER.  69 

senger  instruct  you  ? '  '  Ou,  ay,  that's  true,'  answered  Pol- 
lochock,  with  a  good-humored  smile  ;  '  troth  I  had  forgotten. 
But  an'  that  be  a','  continued  he,  groping  with  his  right  hand 
among  the  ample  folds  of  his  plaid,  '  there's  the  wolf's  head  ! ' 
Exclamations  of  astonishment  and  admiration  burst  from  chief 
and  clansmen  as  he  held  out  the  grim  and  bloody  head  of  the 
monster  at  arm's  length,  for  the  gratification  of  those  who 
crowded  round  him.  '  As  I  came  through  the  slochk  [ravine], 
by  east  the  hill  there,'  said  he,  as  if  talking  of  some  every-day 
occurrence,  '  I  forgathered  with  the  beast.  My  long  dog  there 
turned  him.  I  buckled  wi'  him,  and  dirkit  him,  and  syne 
whuttled  his  craig,  and  brought  awa'  his  countenance,  for  fear 
he  might  come  alive  again  ;  for  they  are  vera  precarious  creat- 
ures. '  '  My  noble  Pollochock  ! '  cried  the  chief  in  ecstasy  ; 
'  the  deed  was  worthy  of  thee  !  In  memorial  of  thy  hardi- 
hood, I  here  bestow  upon  thee  Seannachan,  to  yield  meal  for 
thy  good  greyhound  in  all  time  coming.'  ' 

An  old  fragment  of  a  mill  was  disinterred  and  brought  down, 
in  the  great  floods  of  Moray,  by  the  Cuach,  and  lodged  on  Mr. 
Cumming's  farm.  It  was  ultimately  proved  to  have  belonged 
to  a  saw-mill  that  existed  in  Glenquoich,  in  Mr.  Cumming's 
father's  youth,  though  for  some  time  it  excited  yet  greater  in- 
terest, as  it  was  believed  to  be  part  of  a  corn-mill  anciently 
erected  in  a  small  plain  in  the  glen.  As  persons  conversant  in 
mechanics  were  not  plenty  in  the  Highlands  in  the  days  when 
this  corn-mill  was  constructed,  the  laird  brought  a  miller  from 
the  low  country  to  manage  it.  In  this  neighborhood  there 
lived  at  this  time  a  certain  Donald  Mackenzie,  a  far-removed 
branch  of  the  family  of  Dalmore,  a  place  that  once  stood  where 
the  lodge  does  now.  This  hero,  being  remarkable  for  his 
haughty  and  imperious  manner,  was  known  by  the  appellation 
of  Donald  Unasach,  or  Donald  the  Proud.  Being  a  native  of 
Glenquoich,  he  knew  as  little  of  the  English  language  as  the 
miller  did  of  the  Gaelic.  He  was  an  outlaw,  addicted  to  free- 
booting,  and  of  so  fierce  and  unruly  a  temper  that  the  whole 
country  stood  in  awe  of  him.  One  circumstance  regarding  him 


70  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

struck  every  one  with  superstitious  awe,  and  created  much  con- 
jecture and  speculation  among  those  around  him.  He  was 
never  known  to  be  without  abundance  of  meal,  and  yet  he  was 
never  known  to  carry  any  corn  to  the  mill. 

But  the  sagacious  miller  of  Glenquoich  soon  discovered  that, 
in  order  to  bilk  him  of  his  proper  mill-dues,  the  caitiff  was  in 
the  habit  of  bringing  his  grain  to  the  mill  in  the  night,  and 
grinding  it,  and  carrying  it  off  before  morning.  To  charge 
him  directly  with  this  fraud  was  too  dangerous  an  attempt. 
But  the  miller  ventured  to  ask  him  now  and  then  quietly  how 
he  did  for  meal,  as  he  never  brought  any  corn  to  the  mill.  To 
which  the  freebooter  never  returned  any  other  answer  than — 
"7s  laider  larinh  Dhe!"—"  Strong  is  the  hand  of  God  !" 

Provoked  at  last,  the  miller  determined  to  take  his  own  way 
of  curing  the  evil  ;  and,  having  some  previous  inkling  of  the 
next  nocturnal  visit  of  his  unwelcome  customer,  he  took  care, 
before  leaving  the  mill  in  the  evening,  to  remove  the  bush,  or 
that  piece  of  wood  which  is  driven  into  the  eye  of  the  nether 
millstone,  for  the  purpose  of  keeping  the  spindle  steady  in 
passing  through  the  upper  stone.  He  also  stopped  up  the 
spout,  through  which  the  meal  discharged  itself  ;  and,  as  the 
mill  was  one  of  those  old-fashioned  machines,  where  the  water- 
wheel  moved  horizontally,  and  directly  under  the  stones,  it  fol- 
lows that,  by  this  arrangement  of  things,  the  corn  would  fall 
into  the  stream.  Having  made  these  preparations,  the  miller 
locked  his  house-door,  and  went  to  bed.  About  midnight, 
Donald  arrived  with  his  people,  and  some  sacks  of  dry  corn  ; 
and  finding  everything,  as  he  thought,  in  good  order  in  the 
mill,  he  filled  the  hopper,  and  let  on  the  water.  The  machinery 
revolved  with  more  than  ordinary  rapidity — the  grain  sank  fast 
into  the  hopper,  but  not  a  particle  of  it  came  out  at  the  place 
where  he  was  wont  to  receive  it  into  his  bag  as  meal.  Donald 
the  Proud  and  his  gillies  were  all  aghast.  Frantic  with  rage, 
he  and  they  ran  up  and  down  ;  and  in  their  hurry  to  do  every- 
thing, they  succeeded  in  doing  nothing.  At  length  Donald 
perceived,  what  even  the  obscurity  of  the  night  could  not  hide, 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTTISH    CHARACTER.  71 

a  long  white  line  of  fair  provender  floating  down  the  middlo  of 
the  stream,  that  left  not  a  doubt  as  to  where  his  corn  was  dis- 
charging itself.  But  he  could  neither  guess  how  this  strange 
phenomenon  was  produced,  nor  how  the  evil  was  to  be  cured. 
After  much  perplexity,  he  thought  of  turning  off  the  water. 
But  here  the  wily  miller  had  also  been  prepared  for  him,  having 
so  contrived  matters  that  the  pole  or  handle  connecting  the 
sluice  with  the  inside  of  the  mill  had  fallen  off  as  soon  as  the 
water  was  let  on  the  wheel.  Baffled  at  all  points,  Donald  was 
compelled  at  last  to  run  to  the  miller's  house.  Finding  the 
door  locked,  he  knocked  and  bawled  loudly  at  the  window  ; 
and  on  the  miller  demanding  to  know  who  was  there,  he  did  his 
best  to  explain,  in  broken  English,  the  whole  circumstances  of 
the  case.  The  miller  heard  him  to  an  end  ;  and,  turning  him- 
self in  bed,  he  coolly  replied,  "  Strong  is  the  hand  of  God  !" 
Donald  Unasach  gnashed  his  teeth  ;  tried  the  door  again  ;  re- 
turned to  the  window  ;  and,  humbled  by  circumstances,  repeat- 
ed his  explanations  and  entreaties  fur  help.  "Te  meal  town  te 
purn  to  te  tiel !  Hoigh!  HoighT1  "  I  thought  ye  had  been 
ower  weel  practeesed  in  the  business  to  let  any  sic  mischanter 
come  ower  ye,  Maister  Anesack,"  replied  the  imperturbable 
Lowlander  ;  "  but  strong  is  the  hand  of  God  !"  The  moun- 
taineer now  lost  all  patience.  Drawing  his  dirk,  and  driving  it 
through  the  window,  he  began  to  strike  it  so  violently  against 
the  stones  on  the  outside  of  the  wall,  that  he  illuminated  the 
house  with  a  shower  of  fire,  and  showed  the  terrified  inmates 
the  ferocious  countenance  of  him  who  wielded  the  weapon. 
"TV  meal  to  te  mill,  te  mutter  to  te  mailler,"  sputtered  out 
Donald  in  the  midst  of  his  wrath,  meaning  to  imply  that,  if 
the  miller  would  only  come  and  help  him,  he  should  have  all 
his  dues  in  future.  Partly  moved  by  this  promise,  but  still 
more  by  his  well-grounded  fears,  the  miller  arose  at  last,  put 
the  mill  to  rights,  and  ground  the  rest  of  the  corn  ;  and  tradi- 
tion tells  us  that,  after  this,  the  mill-dues  were  regularly  paid, 
and  the  greatest  harmony  subsisted  between  Donald  Unasach 
and  the  miller  of  Glenquoich. 


72  SCOTTISH   CHAEAOTERTSTIC8. 

It  is  not  difficult  to  see,  in  such  old  traditional  stories  as 
these,  the  foundations  of  that  commingled  shrewdness  and 
strength  which  are  so  prominent  in  the  Scottish  character. 

Colonel  Stewart,  in  his  work  on  the  present  state  of  the 
Highlanders  in  Scotland,  tells  a  story  very  honorable  to  the 
Highland  character.  In  the  year  1795  there  had  been  some 
disturbance  in  a  Highland  regiment,  the  Breadalbane  Fenci- 
bles  ;  but  the  soldiers  were  made  sensible  of  their  misconduct, 
and  of  the  necessity  of  consequent  punishment  ;  whereupon 
four  men  voluntarily  offered  themselves  to  stand  trial  and  suffer 
the  sentence  of  the  law  as  an  atonement  for  the  whole.  These 
men  were  accordingly  marched  to  Edinburgh  Castle  for  trial. 
On  the  march,  one  of  the  men  stated  to  the  officer  commanding 
the  party,  Major  Colin  Campbell,  that  he  had  left  business,  of 
the  utmost  importance  to  a  friend  in  Glasgow,  uncompleted, 
which  he  wished  to  transact  before  his  death  ;  that,  as  to  him- 
self,  he  was  fully  prepared  to  meet  his  fate,  but  with  regard  to 
his  friend,  he  could  not  die  in  peace  until  the  business  was  set- 
tled, and  that,  if  the  officer  would  suffer  him  to  return  to  Glas- 
gow for  a  few  hours,  he  would  join  him  before  he  reached 
Edinburgh,  and  march  as  a  prisoner  with  the  party.  The 
soldier  added,  "  You  have  known  me  since  I  was  a  child  ;  you 
know  my  country  and  kindred,  and  you  may  believe  I  shall 
never  bring  you  to  any  blame  by  a  breach  of  the  promise  I  now 
make  to  be  with  you  in  full  time  to  be  delivered  up  in  the 
Castle."  This  was  a  startling  proposal  to  make  to  the  officer  ; 
but  his  confidence  was  such  that  he  complied  with  the  promise 
of  the  prisoner,  who  returned  to  Glasgow  at  night,  settled  his 
business,  and  left  the  town  before  daylight  to  redeem  his 
pledge.  He  was  under  the  necessity  of  taking  a  long  circuit 
to  avoid  being  seen  and  apprehended  as  a  deserter  and  sent 
back  to  Glasgow.  In  consequence  of  this  caution,  there  was 
no  appearance  of  him  at  the  appointed  hour.  The  perplexity 
of  the  officer  when  he  reached  the  neighborhood  of  Edinburgh 
may  be  easily  imagined.  He  moved  forward  slowly  indeed, 
but  no  soldier  appeared  ;  and  unable  to  delay  any  longer,  he 


THE   HUMORS   OF   SCOTflSH   CHARACTER.  7-1 

marched  up  to  the  Castle,  and  as  he  was  delivering  over  the 
prisoners — but  before  any  report  was  given  in — Macmarbin,  the 
absent  soldier,  rushed  in  among  his  fellow-prisoners,  all  pale 
with  anxiety  and  fatigue,  and  breathless  with  apprehension  of 
the  consequences  in  which  his  delay  might  have  involved  his 
benefactor.  The  whole  four  were  tried,  and  condemned  to  be 
shot  ;  but  it  was  determined  that  only  one  should  suffer,  and 
they  were  ordered  to  draw  lots.  It  is  some  relief  to  know  that 
the  fatal  lot  was  not  drawn  by  this  faithful  soldier. 


CHAPTER    IV. 

SOME    VARIETIES    OF    SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION. 

IT  is  scarcely  possible  to  take  up  the  life  of  any  member  of 
the  great  Scottish  family  without  instantly  being  made  aware 
of  the  strong  tendency  to  superstitious  fancy  which  governs 
almost  all  orders  of  life,  however  learned  or  illiterate.  We 
find  it  in  the  life  of  Sir  David  Brewster.  His  daughter,  Mrs. 
Gordon,  tells  us  how,  in  his  early  days,  the  love  and  fear  of  the 
superstitious  surrounded  the  home  of  the  future  great  philoso- 
pher. Behind  his  father's  house  at  Jedburgh  was  a  little  cot- 
tage, and,  as  we  are  speaking  of  a  period  nearly  a  century  ago, 
it  is  not  a  cause  for  wonder  that  only  a  gable  of  it  is  standing 
now  ;  in  Sir  David's  childhood  it  was  shaded  by  a  favorite 
apple-tree,  and  within  it  lived  David's  old  nurse.  The  delight 
of  the  future  author  of  the  charming  volume  on  Natural  Magic 
was  to  spend  his  winter  evenings  with  the  old  woman,  whose 
memory  appears  to  have  been  an  amazing  repository  of  stories 
of  ghosts  and  goblins.  The  old  lady's  narrations  usually  so 
infiltrated  the  imagination  of  her  young  auditor  that  she  had  to 
quit  her  easy-chair  and  cosey  fire  and  convey  the  shuddering 
child,  or  children,  across  the  garden  home,  with  her  apron 
thrown  over  their  heads  ;  and  Mrs.  Gordon  tells  us  that  the 
recollection  of  the  old  apple-tree  and  the  fascination  of  the  old 
stories  of  the  ancient  woman  were  so  vivid  upon  her  father  in 
his  old  age,  that  he  himself  pleaded  guilty  to  suffering  from 
superstitious  fears  even  through  the  rnaturest  years  of  man- 
hood. Perhaps  many  writers,  like  Sir  David  Brewster  and  Sir 
Walter  Scott,  who  have  written  elaborate  works  to  show  how 
groundless  are  superstitious  fears,  have  been  impelled  to  the 
task  by  a  strong  sense  of  the  hold  which  superstitious  ideas  had 


SOME   VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION.  75 

upon  them  ;  few  can  doubt  that  this  was  the  case  with  the 
healthy- minded  Sir  Walter.  It  is  more  remarkable  to  find  that 
Mrs.  Somerville — the  illustrious  mathematician  and  great  scien- 
tific expositor — was  the  subject  of  the  same  fears.  Speaking 
of  her  childhood,  she  says,  "  I  was  very  fond  of  ghost  and 
witch  stories,  both  of  which  were  believed  in  by  most  of  the 
common  people  and  many  of  the  better  educated.  I  heard  an 
old  naval  officer  say  that  he  never  opened  his  eyes  after  he  was 
in  bed  ;  I  asked  him  why,  and  he  replied,  '  For  fear  I  should 
see  something  !  '  Now  I  did  not  actually  believe  in  either 
ghosts  or  witches,  but  yet,  when  alone  in  the  dead  of  the 
night,  I  have  been  seized  with  a  dread  of  I  know  not  what. 
Few  people  will  now  understand  me  if  I  say  I  was  eerie,  a 
Scotch  expression  for  superstitious  awe.  I  have  been  struck, 
on  reading  the  life  of  the  late  Sir  David  Brewster,  with  the  in- 
fluence the  superstitions  of  the  age  and  country  had  on  both 
learned  and  unlearned.  Sir  David  was  one  of  the  greatest  phi- 
losophers of  the  day  ;  he  was  only  a  year  younger  than  I  ;  we 
were  both  born  in  Jedburgh,  and  both  were  influenced  by  the 
superstitions  of  our  age  and  country  in  a  similar  manner  ;  for 
he  confessed  that,  although  he  did  not  believe  in  ghosts,  he 
was  eerie  when  sitting  up  at  a  late  hour  in  a  lone  house  that 
was  haunted.  This  is  a  totally  different  thing  from  believing 
in  spirit-rapping,  which  I  scorn." 

But,  of  these  distinguished  names  in  science,  Hugh  Miller, 
in  his  "Schools  and  Schoolmasters,"  gives  an  instance  from 
his  childhood  which  seems  to  rank  him  among  veritable  ghost- 
seers.  He  gives  a  reminiscence  from  his  earliest  childhood  of 
that  night  when,  in  the  wild  and  fatal  tempest,  his  father  went 
down  at  sea.  His  mother  had  just  received  a  cheerful  letter 
from  the  father,  so  that  there  were  no  forebodings  in  the  dwell- 
ing. She  was  sitting,  plying  her  cheerful  needle  by  the  house- 
hold fire  ;  the  door  had  been  left  unfastened,  and  she  sent  little 
Hugh  to  shut  it  ;  it  was  in  the  twilight.  "  A  gray  haze,"  he 
says,  "  was  spreading  a  neutral  tint  of  dimness  over  distant  ob- 
jects, but  left  the  near  ones  comparatively  distinct,  when  I  saw 


76  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

at  the  open  door,  within  less  than  a  yard  of  my  breast,  as 
plainly  as  I  ever  saw  anything,  a  dissevered  hand  and  arm 
stretched  toward  me — hand  and  arm  were  apparently  those  of 
a  female  ;  they  bore  a  livid  and  sodden  appearance,  and 
directly  fronting  me,  where  the  body  ought  to  have  been,  there 
was  only  a  blank  transparent  space,  through  which  I  could  see 
the  dim  forms  of  the  objects  beyond.  I  was  fearfully  startled, 
and  ran  shrieking  to  my  mother,  telling  what  I  had  seen  ;  and 
the  house-girl,  whom  she  next  sent  to  shut  the  door,  appar- 
ently affected  by  my  terror,  also  returned  frightened,  and  said 
that  she  too  had  seen  the  woman's  hand." 

Hugh  Miller  says,  "  I  communicate  the  story  as  it  lies  fixed 
in  my  memory,  without  attempting  to  explain  it.  The  coinci- 
dence with  the  probable  time  of  my  father's  death  seems  at 
least  curious." 

We  mention  these  illustrations  without  any  especial  comment 
upon  the  instances,  but  for  the  purpose  of  remarking  that  this 
hard-headed  Scotch  mind,  which  seems  so  naturally  allied  to 
mathematics  and  the  logic  of  facts,  is  especially  metaphysical 
and  mystical  ;  the  love  of  the  mysterious  is  inherent  among  the 
people,  and,  among  thinkers,  a  fondness  for  dealing  with  the 
occult  causes  of  things  seems  generally  to  pervade  the  mind. 
Even  now,  Dr.  Rogers  says,  "  Spectres  have  not  altogether  left 
the  scene,  and  although  those  apparitions  which  do  appear  are 
generally  detected,  and  found  to  possess  flesh  and  blood,  they 
testify  to  a  general  prevalence,  a  terror  of  and  faith  in  ghostly 
visitations  among  the  people." 

He  mentions  how  a  friend  of  his  own  was  returning  late  on 
a  summer  evening  to  his  residence  at  Earlston  from  the  vicinity 
of  Montrose.  The  road  led  through  a  piece  of  unfrequented 
mooriand,  a  solitary  waste.  The  night  was  oppressively  hot ; 
the  course  was  up  hill.  To  relieve  himself  a  little  he  threw 
open  his  vest,  inclosing  his  head  in  a  light-colored  handker- 
chief, raising  his  hat  aloft  upon  his  cane.  On  a  sudden  a  figure 
started  from  the  foot-path  and  disappeared  amid  a  forest  of 
whins.  The  traveller  appears  to  have  been  a  little  terrified 


SOME   VARIETIES  OF  SCOTTISH   SUPERSTITION.  77 

himself.  Approaching  the  spot  where  the  figure  seemed  to  be 
concealed,  he  called  out,  "  Who  is  there  ?"  Then  came  the 
immediate  reply,  "  I'm — I'm — I'm  a  weaver  frae  Galashiels  ; 
but  och,  man  !  I'm  glad  to  hear  you  speak,  for  ye  were  an 
awfu'  like  sicht  comin'  ower  the  hill  ;  I  thocht  ye  were  a 
ghaist,  an'  I  were  amaist  feared  oot  o'  my  judgment  !" 

No  doubt  many  a  ghost  has  as  natural  a  solution  or  dissolu- 
tion, but  such  stories  do  not  the  less  tend  to  show  a  character- 
istic of  the  national  mind.  In  his  very  interesting,  but  now 
rare,  book  on  "  Scotland,  Social  and  Domestic,"  Dr.  Rogers 
has  collected  a  number  of  instances  ;  some  of  them  were  per- 
sonal, and  household  alarms,  arising  from  simple  causes,  but 
there  are  many  also  to  which  he  does  not  furnish  any  explana- 
tion, and  some  of  them  of  a  quite  recent  occurrence.  In  the 
University  of  St.  Andrews  a  custom  obtains  that,  on  the  death 
of  a  professor,  intimation  of  the  event  is  conveyed  by  messen- 
ger to  the  other  members  of  the  institution.  In  1842  an  aged 
professor  was  very  ill,  and  his  decease  was  expected  daily. 
One  of  his  colleagues  sat  down  to  his  usual  evening  devotions 
with  his  household.  His  wife  was  reading  a  portion  of  Script- 
ure when,  watch  in  hand,  the  professor  asked  her  whether  it 
was  not  precisely  half-past  nine.  The  lady,  taking  out  her 
watch,  answered  that  it  was.  When  the  service  was  con- 
cluded, the  professor  explained  that  at  the  time  he  had  inter- 
rupted the  reading  he  had  seen  his  ailing  colleague,  who  had 
signalled  him  an  adieu.  He  felt  satisfied  his  friend  had  then 
expired.  Not  long  after  a  messenger  arrived,  reporting  that 
Dr.  H.  had  died  that  evening  at  half-past  nine. 

Scotch  writers  classify  apparitions  into  four  orders.  This 
alone  shows  the  prevalence  among  them  of  superstitious  ideas. 
There  are  the  wraith,  the  tutelary  spirit,  the  genie,  and  the 
unrested  ghost.  There  is  a  singular  story  connected  with  the 
death  of  Mungo  Park  on  his  second  great  African  expedition. 
His  sister,  Mrs.  Thomson,  lived  with  her  husband  on  their 
farm  at  Myreton,  among  the  Ochils.  She  had  received  a  letter 
from  her  brother,  expressing  his  hope  that  he  would  shortly 


78  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

return  home,  and  saying  that  she  would  not  be  likely  to  hear 
from  him  again  until  she  saw  him  on  his  return.  Shortly  after 
this  she  was  in  bed  ;  she  fancied  she  heard  a  horse's  feet  on 
the  road  before  her  window.  Sitting  up  in  bed,  she  instantly 
saw  her  brother,  the  great  traveller,  open  the  door  and  walk 
toward  her  in  his  usual  attire.  She  expressed  her  delight, 
sprang  up  from  bed,  stretched  out  her  arms  to  embrace  him, 
and  only  folded  them  over  her  own  breast.  By  the  dim  light 
she  could  still  only  believe  that  he  had  stepped  aside,  that  he 
was,  perhaps,  joking  with  her  ;  and  while  she  was  upbraiding 
him  for  retreating  from  her,  her  husband  came  into  the  room 
and  assured  her  of  her  delusion.  This  was  the  last  that  was 
heard  of  Mungo  Park  ;  the  date  of  his  death  is  unknown. 
Mrs.  Thomson  is  described  as  a  shrewd,  intelligent  woman  not 
at  all  inclined  to  superstition,  but  she  always  believed  that  his 
death  took  place  at  the  time  when  she  imagined  he  had 
returned  to  her  at  Myreton.  Such  stories  as  these  hover  over 
all  Scotland,  and  seem  to  interlace  themselves  with  the  histories 
of  all  her  families.  We  apprehend  that  very  extraordinary 
man,  John  Leyden,  great  scholar,  extensive  traveller,  enthusiast, 
and  exquisite  poet,  gives  not  only  his  own  experience,  but  also 
that  of  many  another  member  of  his  Scottish  kindred,  when, 
in  his  "  Scenes  of  Infancy,"  he  says  : 

"  The  woodland's  sombre  shade  that  peasants  fear, 
The  haunted  mountain  streams  that  murmur  near, 
The  antique  tombstone  and  the  churchyard  green, 
Seemed  to  unite  me  with  the  world  unseen  ; 
Oft  when  the  eastern  moon  rose  darkly  red 
I  heard  the  viewless  paces  of  the  dead, 
Heard  in  the  breeze  the  wandering  spirits  sigh, 
Or  airy  skirts  unseen  that  rustled  by." 

Mental  eminence  and  independence,  or  extensive  attainments, 
seem  to  be  no  protection  against  this  mystical  charm  of  ghostly 
influence  ;  and  even  the  metaphysical  strength  of  Scottish 
thought  seems  to  assure  us  of  the  relation  of  the  mind  to  occult 
subjects  of  investigation.  Hugh  Miller,  to  whom  we  have 


SOME   VARIETIES    OF    SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION.  79 

already  referred,  gives  to  us,  in  the  twenty-fifth  chapter  of  his 
"  Scenes  and  Legends  of  the  North  of  Scotland,"  a  long  sue- 
cession  of  ghostly  tales  which  infiltrated,  and,  no  doubt, 
formed,  his  young  imagination  as  they  floated  round  his  early 
home. 

The  superstitions  of  Scotland  vary  according  to  the  region  ; 
there  is  a  difference  between  Lowland  and  Highland  supersti- 
tions ;  between  the  superstitions  of  the  Scottish  fishermen  and 
the  Scottish  shepherds.  It  is  true  of  other  countries,  besides 
Scotland,  that  the  superstitions  of  a  district  live  longest  among 
its  fishermen.  The  profession  of  the  fisherman  naturally  in- 
clines him  to  superstition  ;  life  with  him  is  always  especially 
uncertain  ;  there  is  a  wide  province  for  the  imagination,  for 
the  ominous  dream  and  the  warning  vision,  the  wandering 
death-light  and  the  threatening  spectre  ;  superstition  seems 
natural  to  precariousness  and  peril.  Hence,  usually,  the  fish- 
ing village  is  especially  full  of  stories  and  legends  ;  almost  every 
disaster  is  set  in  a  framework  of  the  supernatural.  Then  the 
fisherman's  life  is  isolated  ;  even  in  his  marriage  he  must  have 
a  wife  not  selected  from  the  family  of  the  cotter  or  mechanic  ; 
he  must  have  a  girl  who  can  bait  lines,  and  repair  nets,  and 
who  can  help  him  to  sell  his  fish  ;  a  girl  of  his  own  class  ;  so 
there  is  no  infusion  of  new  ideas,  the  same  legendary  life  runs 
on  from  generation  to  generation. 

But  the  Highlands  were  the  especial  home  of  superstitions, 
although,  even  when  Dr.  Johnson  visited  the  Western  Isles,  he 
thought  they  were  wearing  away. 

At  the  commencement  of  the  present  century,  Mrs.  Grant,  of 
Laggan,  wrote  her  charming,  thoughtful,  and  eloquent  essays 
on  the  superstitions  of  the  Highlands  ;  and  although  she  very 
beautifully  attempted  to  elucidate  the  natural  causes  of  these 
superstitions,  and  to  expostulate  with  them,  she  certainly  dealt 
with  them  in  no  merely  sceptical  or  flippant  spirit,  while  her 
volumes  contain  many  tender  illustrations  of  the  hold  which 
the  heart  had  on  the  life  of  the  world  to  come.  Thus  we  read 
how  common  it  was  for  survivors  to  give  conditional  messages 


80  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

to  their  departing  friends  by  the  passing  spirit  ;  there  was  a 
kind  of  ritual  of  decorous  departure.  "  Nothing  was  more 
common,"  says  Mrs.  Grant,  "  than  to  take  a  solemn  leave  of 
old  people  as  if  they  were  going  on  a  journey,  and  pretty  much 
in  the  same  terms  :  '  If  you  are  permitted,  tell  my  dear  brother 
that  I  have  merely  endured  the  world  since  he  left  it,  and  that 
I  have  been  very  kind  to  every  creature  he  used  to  cherish,  for 
his  sake.'  I  have  heard,  indeed,"  continues  Mrs.  Grant,  "  a 
person  of  a  very  enlightened  mind  seriously  give  a  message  to 
an  aged  person  to  deliver  to  a  child  he  had  lost  not  long  be- 
fore, which  she  as  seriously  promised  to  deliver,  with  the 
wonted  condition,  if  she  was  permitted."  We  read  in  these 
same  essays,  written  amid  the  people  to  whom  they  refer,  of  a 
man  remarkable  for  filial  affection,  who  continued  single  that 
he  might  sedulously  attend  to  the  comfort  of  his  mother  and 
watch  her  declining  years  with  reverent  care.  On  her  birthday 
he  always  collected  the  members  of  the  family,  his  brothers 
and  sisters — they  were  all  married  before  the  father's  death—- 
and at  the  conclusion  of  the  family  feast  he  always  proposed  a 
reverent  toast,  the  substance  of  which  was,  "  An  easy  and 
decorous  departure  to  my  mother."  How  this  toast  would 
shock  and  shake  the  nerves  of  fashionable  delicacy  !  how  the 
cynic  would  sneer  at  it,  and  almost  mis-translate  it  !  but  it  was 
not  thought  an  unnatural  thing,  it  was  received  with  great  ap- 
plause, and  the  old  lady  always  replied  in  nearly  the  same 
terms,  that  "  God  had  always  been  good  to  her,  and  she  hoped 
she  should  die  as  decently  as  she  had  lived."  It  was  thought 
of  the  utmost  consequence  to  "  die  decently." 

We  read  Mrs.  Grant's  "  Essays  and  Letters  from  the  Moun- 
tains" until  we  almost  wish  that  the  knowledge  of  books  and 
science,  the  learning  of  so  many  things  by  rote,  the  remoteness 
of  nature  and  of  the  influences  of  nature,  had  not  deprived  us 
of  that  singular  sense  of  a  pleasant  familiarity  with  the  dead 
which  those  papers  delineate  ;  when  auspicious  forms  came  to 
comfort  the  mourner,  or  to  suggest  useful  hints  on  the  conduct 
of  life,  and  when  the  want — the  deadly  and  wretched  want — of 


SOME   VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH   SUPERSTITION.  81 

some  object  beyond  what  earth  affords  to  stimulate  or  satisfy 
was  responded  to  by  something  lifting  the  inind  above  objects 
of  mere  sense,  enlarging  the  conceptions,  and  exalting  the 
general  character.  Some  of  these  spectres,  or  visions,  of  the 
Highlands  of  the  old  time  seem  almost  like  allegories. 

A  farmer,  whose  high  character  gave  him  great  influence  in 
his  elevated  hamlet,  lost  his  children,  one  after  another  ;  at  last 
he  lost  a  little  child  who  had  taken  great  hold  on  the  father's 
affections  ;  the  father's  grief  was  intemperate  and  quite  un- 
bounded. The  death  took  place  in  the  spring,  when,  although 
the  sheep  were  abroad  in  the  more  inhabited  Lowlands,  they 
had  to  be  preserved  from  the  blasts  of  that  high  and  stormy 
region  in  the  cote.  In  a  dismal,  snowy  evening,  the  man,  un- 
able to  stifle  his  anguish,  went  out  lamenting  aloud  ;  he  went 
to  the  door  of  his  sheep-cote  to  take  a  lamb  he  needed,  and  he 
found  a  stranger  at  the  door.  He  was  astonished  to  find,  in 
such  a  night,  any  person  in  so  unfrequented  a  place.  He  was 
plainly  attired,  but  with  a  countenance  remarkably  expressive 
of  mildness  and  beneficence.  The  stranger,  very  singularly, 
asked  the  farmer  what  he  did  there  amid  the  tempest  on  such  a 
night.  The  man  was  filled  with  awe,  which  he  could  not  ac- 
count for,  but  said  he  came  there  for  a  lamb. 

"  What  kind  of  a  lamb  do  you  mean  to  take  ?"  said  the 
stranger. 

"  The  very  best  I  can  find,"  answered  the  farmer  ;  "  but 
come  into  the  house  and  share  our  evening  meal." 

' '  Do  your  sheep  make  any  resistance  when  you  take  away 
the  lamb,  or  any  disturbance  afterward  ?" 

"  Never,"  said  the  farmer. 

"  How  differently  am  I  treated,"  said  the  traveller  ;  "  when 
I  come  to  visit  my  sheepfold,  I  take,  as  I  am  well  entitled  to 
take,  the  best  lamb  to  myself,  and  my  ears  are  filled  with  the 
clamor  of  discontent  by  those  ungrateful  sheep  whom  I  have 
fed,  and  watched,  and  protected." 

Perhaps  the  reader  may,  in  some  form,  have  met  this  story 


82  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

before,  but  we  give  it  as  it  has  come  down  from  the  mountains, 
ages  since. 

But  we  must  not  dwell  on  these  old  superstitions  of  the 
Highlands,  and  tell  the  stories  of  visions  of  the  dead,  and  how 
often,  even  in  the  stillness  of  noon,  in  the  solitary  place,  while 
speaking  of  them,  in  an  instant,  even  in  the  daytime,  they  were 
beheld  passing  transiently  or  standing  ready  for  conversation. 
We  cannot  attempt  to  elucidate  the  wonders  of  second  sight, 
by  which  things  distant  or  future  are  seen  as  if  they  were  pres- 
ent ;  a  seer  driving  home  his  cattle,  or  wandering  in  idleness, 
or  musing  in  sunshine,  is  suddenly  surprised  by  the  appearance 
of  a  bridal  ceremony,  or  a  funeral  procession  ;  a  Mr.  Keith 
drops  down  dead  of  an  apoplexy  from  his  chair,  and  an  inn- 
keeper declares  that  he  saw  that  event  three  hours  before  ! 

Dr.  Macculloch,  in  his  splendid  descriptions  of  tho  High- 
lands, deals  with  these  matters  at  length  in  a  very  jocular 
spirit  ;  but  the  whole  phenomena  of  Highland  spiritualism  has 
been  a  perplexity  to  many  writers,  who  have  been  far  enough 
from  a  disposition  to  yield  themselves  implicitly  to  all  the 
vagaries  of  superstition  ;  and  we  suppose  that  most  readers  are 
much  better  pleased  to  find  a  clearing  up  of  some  mysterious 
story  than  to  remain  beneath  the  impression  of  inexplicable 
mystery. 

But  superstition  in  Scotland  is  rapidly  on  the  wane  ;  all  the 
grosser  superstitions  are  gone.  Once  it  was  the  favored  region 
of  wizards,  witches,  warlocks,  fairies,  brownies,  and  hobgob- 
lins ;  they  have  all  taken  their  departure.  Spectres,  as  we  said 
at  the  commencement  of  this  chapter,  have  not  entirely  left  the 
scene,  but  the  temper  of  the  times  in  which  we  live  leads  us  to 
feel  most  enjoyment  when  they  are  found  to  be  divested  of 
ghostly  terrors,  and  to  appear  in  flesh  and  bones. 

We  have  shown  how  fear  operates  when  faith  declines.  A 
story  is  told  of  Mr.  Fleming,  who  was,  in  his  large  building 
transactions,  the  first  to  introduce  Scottish  timber  for  purposes 
for  which  foreign  wood  had  been  previously  employed.  About 
the  year  1753-54  he  was  at  Kilmun — now,  we  believe,  a  fash- 


SOME    VARIETIES    OF   SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION".  83 

ionable  and  well-built  watering-place  ;  then,  a  remote  and 
secluded  Highland  hamlet.  The  accommodation  was  so  bad 
that,  instead  of  submitting  to  the  predaceous  animals  thirsting 
for  the  blood  of  the  Lowlander,  he  chose  to  have  a  temporary 
bed  put  up  in  the  burial-vault  of  the  Argyle  family,  there  to 
attempt  to  sleep  surrounded  by  the  peaceful  coffins  of  departed 
dukes  and  duchesses.  Could  the  most  audacious  modern  dis- 
believer in  ghosts  dare  this  feat  ?  While  occupying  this  dark, 
and  to  our  ideas  not  attractive  bed-chamber,  he  on  one  occasion 
stepped  out  rather  early  on  a  fine  Sabbath  morning  in  his  white 
night-dress,  and,  while  indulging  himself  and  giving  a  loud 
yawn,  he  was  perceived  by  some  sailors  who  were  loitering  near 
the  tomb  and  waiting  for  a  tide  to  carry  their  small  craft, 
which  was  moored  in  the  Holy  Loch,  to  Greenock.  The  super- 
stitious sailors,  as  may  well  be  conceived,  were  quite  appalled 
by  the  supposed  apparition  issuing  from  the  charnel-house  ; 
they  instantly  took  to  their  heels,  and,  hurrying  into  their 
boat,  set  off  to  Greenock,  where,  on  their  arrival,  they  gave 
such  a  circumstantial  account  of  the  resurrection  of  at  least  one 
of  the  Dukes  of  Argyle  as  to  induce  the  authorities  to  make  a 
formal  inquiry  into  the  circumstance. 

Into  the  historical  department  of  Scottish  superstition  we 
have  not  permitted  ourselves  to  enter  ;  it  is  a  brief  and  very 
painful  chapter  in  the  history  of  fanaticism,  the  story  of  the 
persecutions  for  witchcraft,  the  shuddering  recollections  of 
which  perpetuated  themselves  in  the  marvellous  visions  of  Tarn 
O'  Shanter,  in  the  old  kirk  of  Alloway  : 

"  Where  ghosts  and  owlets  nightly  sigh  ! " 

Every  close  in  Edinburgh  is  haunted  with  weird  old  stories  ; 
and  the  memory  of  Major  Weir  has  scarcely  relinquished  the 
awful  hold  it  had  upon  even  the  better  judgment  of  men.  We 
are  bold  enough  to  think  that  Major  Weir  and  his  sister  were  a 
sorely  much-abused  old  couple. 

Major  Weir  was  one  of  the  strictest  of  the  old  Scotch  Pres- 


84  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

byterians,  a  man  of  singular  devoutness  and  exact  Puritanic 
severity  ;  he  lived  in  the  West  Bow  with  his  sister  ;  a  man 
mighty  in  prayer  and  heavenly  gesture,  and  unsu^ied  in  repu- 
tation, he  continued  through  many  years,  when,  being  seized 
with  a  severe  illness,  he  made  open  and  voluntary  confession  of 
having  indulged  in  every  kind  of  possible  and  impossible 
wickedness.  It  was  the  day  of  wizards  and  witchcraft  ;  upon 
his  own  and  his  sister's  confessions  they  were  tried  April  9th, 
1670  ;  he  was  sentenced  to  be  strangled  and  burned,  and  his 
sister  to  be  hanged  ;  and  the  sentences  were  accordingly  carried 
into  execution.  For  a  century  and  a  half  the  neighborhood 
was  haunted  by  the  memory  of  Major  Weir  ;  his  memory  lin- 
gers over  the  neighborhood  still,  although  the  house  in  which 
he  resided  was  probably  pulled  down.  For  many  years  it  was 
deserted  ;  it  was  said  to  be  haunted,  and  no  one  would  live  in 
it,  until  at  last  some  hardy  spirits  attempted  to  do  so,  and, 
upon  the  first  night's  attempt,  were  scared  away.  For  a  long 
time  Major  Weir  and  his  sister  haunted  the  imaginations  of  the 
people  of  the  West  Bow,  in  the  Lawn  Market.  His  name  fig- 
ured in  Sinclair's  "  Invisible  World  Discovered,"  and  other 
such  works.  Of  course,  innumerable  stories  were  told  of  him  ; 
his  sister  had  said  that  all  the  major's  power  lay  in  his  staff  ; 
this  was  sentenced  to  be  burned  also,  but  when  it  was  cast  into 
the  fire  it  showed  great  indisposition  to  burn,  and  "  gave  sev- 
eral rare  turnings. ' ' 

Scott  refers  to  this  extraordinary  instance  in  the  story  of 
"  Blind  Willie's  tale,"  which  was,  perhaps,  partly  derived 
from  it.  Robert  Chambers,  in  his  "Traditions  of  Edin- 
burgh," says  that  the  conclusions  of  humanity  in  the  present 
age  are  simply  that  the  poor  major  was  mad  ;  hjs  mind 
wrought  upon  by  the  diseased  atmosphere  around  him,  laden 
with  notions  of  witchcraft  and  wizardry,  and  himself  wrought 
up  to  an  unnatural  state  of  nervous  excitement  by  overstrained 
theological  notions,  united,  probably,  to  fastings  and  experi- 
ences almost  monastic,  produced  on  his  mind  the  effects  of 
monomania  ;  and  it  should  be  remembered  that  nothing  was 


SOME  VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH   SUPERSTITION.  85 

ever  proved  tending  to  sully  the  innocence  of  the  major's  char- 
acter beyond  his  own  solemn  asseverations. 

It  is  not  wonderful  that  imagination,  combining  with  super- 
stition, in  a  people  themselves  intensely  imaginative,  hung 
round  the  names  and  memories  of  certain  characters  traditions 
of  an  even  awful  description  ;  and  Blind  Willie's  tale,  to  which 
we  have  just  referred,  is  not  so  much  an  exaggeration  as  an 
illustration  of  this.  Sir  Walter  Scott's  description  of  Red- 
gauntlet  seems  only  naturally  to  give  the  impressions  conveyed 
of  Sir  Robert  Grierson,  the  laird  of  Lag,  one  of  the  most  cruel 
and  remorseless  persecutors  of  the  Covenanters.  The  house 
the  great  novelist  intended  to  depict  was  Grierson's  town 
house,  in  Dumfries  ;  it  was  an  old  pile,  for  a  long  time  called 
"  the  Turnpike,"  and  has  now  yielded  to  modern  change.  In 
it  the  laird  of  Lag  spent  the  latest  years  of  his  life,  and  there 
he  died  in  1736  ;  but  if  anything  were  wanting  to  identify  him 
with  the  grim  Redgauntlet  of  Blind  Willie's  tale,  Mr.  McDowall 
has  supplied  it  in  his  History  of  Dumfries,  by  his  assurance 
that  the  monkey  companion  of  Redgauntlet,  called  "  Major 
Weir,"  had  a  real  existence  as  the  companion  of  Grierson,  as 
had  also  the  "  cat's  cradle"  where  the  curious  creature  slept  ; 
it  was  a  remote  turret  of  "  the  Turnpike"  which  had  been  built 
as  a  point  of  observation  in  ancient  times.  It  will  not  be  apart 
from  the  purpose  of  the  present  volume  to  quote  from  Wander- 
ing Willie's  tale  what  must  pass  for  a  most  racy  description  of 
the  laird  of  Lag,  and,  considering  what  he  had  been — a  wicked 
persecutor,  and  what  were  his  awful  and  grotesque  surround- 
ings, it  seems  natural  that  the  popular  imagination  should  sur- 
round him  and  his  memory  with  the  notoriety  of  an  infamous 
terror  :  "  There  sat  the  laird  his  leesorne  lane,  excepting  that 
he  had  beside  him  a  great,  ill-favored  jackanape,  that  was  a 
special  pet  of  his  ;  a  cankered  beast  it  was,  and  mony  an  ill- 
natured  trick  it  played — ill  to  please  it  was,  and  easily  angered 
— ran  about  the  haill  castle,  chattering  and  yowling,  and  pinch- 
ing and  biting  folk,  especially  before  ill  weather,  or  disturb- 
ances in  the  state.  Sir  Robert  ca'd  it '  Major  Weir,'  after  the 


86  SCOTTISH   CHARACTEEISTICS. 

warlock  that  was  burned  ;  and  few  folk  liked  either  the  name 
or  the  conditions  of  the  creature — they  thought  there  was 
something  in  it  by  ordinar'.  Sir  Robert  sat,  or  I  should  say 
lay,  in  a  great  armed  chair,  wi'  his  grand  velvet  gown  and  his 
feet  on  a  cradle — for  he  had  both  gout  and  gravel — and  his 
face  looked  as  gash  and  ghastly  as  Satan's.  '  Major  Weir  '  sat 
opposite  to  him  in  a  red  laced  coat,  and  the  laird's  wig  on  his 
head  ;  and  aye  as  Sir  Robert  girned  wi'  pain,  the  jackanape 
girned  too — like  a  sheep's-head  between  a  pair  of  tangs  :  an 
ill-faured,  fearsome  couple  they  were.  The  laird's  buff  coat 
was  hanging  on  a  pin  behind  him,  and  his  broadsword  and  his 
pistols  within  reach  ;  for  he  keepit  up  the  auld  fashion  of  hav- 
ing the  weapons  ready,  and  a  horse  saddled  day  and  night,  just 
as  he  used  to  do  when  he  was  able  to  loup  on  horseback  and 
away  after  ony  of  the  hill-folk  he  could  get  speerings  of." 
The  "  major"  was  literally  pistolled  by  Sir  Gilbert,  the  next 
laird  of  Lag,  though  not,  need  we  add,  under  such  circum- 
stances of  diablerie  as  are  so  graphically  narrated  in  the 
romance. 

The  ghostly  superstitions  of  Scotland  are  so  many  and  so 
characteristic  that  the  omission  to  notice  some  of  the  more  con- 
siderable of  them  would  render  any  estimate  of  Scottish  charac- 
ter, however  full  otherwise,  incomplete.  There  is  a  traditional 
catch  in  the  county  of  Berwick  : 

"  O  Pearlin'  Jean,  O  Pearlin'  Jean, 
She  haunts  the  house,  she  haunts  the  green, 
And  glowers  on  us  a'  wi'  her  wullcat  e'en." 

"  In  my  youth,"  says  Mr.  Charles  Kirkpatrick  Sharpe, 
"  Pearlin'  Jean  was  the  most  remarkable  ghost  in  Scotland, 
and  my  terror  when  a  child.  Our  old  nurse,  Jenny  Black- 
adder,  had  been  a  servant  at  Allanbank,  and  often  heard  her 
rustling  in  silks  up  and  down  stairs,  and  along  the  passages. 
She  never  saw  her,  but  her  husband  did.  She  was  a  French 
woman,  whom  the  first  baronet  of  Allanbank,  then  Mr.  Stuart, 
met  with  at  Paris,  during  his  tour  to  finish  his  education  as  a 


SOME    VARIETIES    OF   SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION.  87 

gentleman.  Some  people  said  she  was  a  nun  ;  In  which  case 
she  must  have  been  a  Sister  of  Charity,  as  she  appears  not  to 
have  been  confined  to  a  cloister.  After  some  time  young 
Stuart  either  became  faithless  to  the  lady,  or  was  suddenly 
recalled  to  Scotland  by  his  parents,  and  had  got  into  his  car- 
riage, at  the  door  of  the  hotel,  when  his  Dido  unexpectedly 
made  her  appearance,  and  stepping  on  the  fore-wheel  of  the 
coach  to  address  her  lover,  he  ordered  the  postilion  to  drive 
on  ;  the  consequence  of  which  was  that  the  lady  fell,  and  one 
of  the  wheels  going  over  her  forehead,  killed  her. 

"  In  a  dusky  autumnal  evening,  when  Mr.  Stuart  drove 
under  the  arched  gateway  of  Allanbank,  he  perceived  Pearlin' 
Jean  sitting  on  the  top,  her  head  and  shoulders  covered  with 
blood.  After  this,  for  many  years,  the  house  was  haunted  ; 
doors  shut  and  opened  with  great  noise  at  midnight  ;  the  rust- 
ling of  silks  and  the  pattering  of  high-heeled  shoes  were  heard 
in  bedrooms  and  passages.  Nurse  Jenny  said  there  were  seven 
ministers  called  in  together  at  one  time  to  lay  the  spirit  ;  '  but 
they  did  no  muckle  good,  my  dear.'  The  picture  of  the  ghost 
was  hung  up  between  those  of  the  lover  and  his  lady,  and  kept 
her  comparatively  quiet  ;  but  when  taken  away,  she  became 
worse  natured  than  ever.  This  portrait  was  in  the  present  Sir 
J.  G.  's  possession.  I  am  unwilling  to  record  its  fate.  The 
ghost  was  designated  Pearlin,  from  always  wearing  a  great 
quantity  of  that  sort  of  lace — a  species  of  lace  made  of  thread. 
Nurse  Jenny  told  me  that  when  Thomas  Blackadder  was  her 
lover  (I  remember  Thomas  very  well),  they  made  an  assigna- 
tion to  meet  one  moonlight  night  in  the  orchard  at  Allanbank. 
True  Thomas,  of  course,  was  the  first  comer  ;  and  seeing  a 
female  in  a  light-colored  dress,  at  some  distance,  he  ran  for- 
ward with  open  arms  to  embrace  his  Jenny  ;  when,  lo,  and  be- 
hold !  as  he  neared  the  spot  where  the  figure  stood,  it  vanished  ; 
and  presently  he  saw  it  again  at  the  very  end  of  the  orchard, 
a  considerable  way  off.  Thomas  went  home  in  a  fright  ;  but 
Jenny,  who  came  last,  and  saw  nothing,  forgave  him,  and  they 
were  married.  Many  years  after  this,  about  the  year  1790, 


88  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

two  ladies  paid  a  visit  to  Allanbank — I  think  the  house  was 
then  let — and  passed  the  night  there.  They  had  never  heard  a 
word  about  the  ghost  ;  but  they  were  disturbed  the  whole 
night  with  something  walking  backward  and  forward  in  their 
bed-chamber.  This  I  had  from  the  best  authority. "  A  house- 
keeper called  Betty  Norrie,  who  lived  many  years  at  Allanbank, 
declared  she  and  many  other  people  had  frequently  seen  Jean, 
adding  that  they  were  so  used  to  her  as  to  be  no  longer  alarmed 
at  her  noises.  The  persevering  annoyances  at  Allanbank  were 
so  thoroughly  believed  and  established  as  to  have  formed  at 
various  times  a  considerable  impediment  to  letting  the  place. 
Sir  Robert  Stuart  of  Allanbank  was  created  a  baronet  in  the 
year  1697,  so  that  it  must  have  been  previous  to  that  time  that 
Jean  died. 

Another  famous  ghost  was,  we  do  not  know  whether  we  may 
say  is,  "  The  Chappie  of  Houndwood,"  concerning  which  an 
old  Border  ballad  sings  : 

"  For  the  cruel  and  bloody  deed 

That  was  done  within  the  dome, 

Shall  haunted  be  the  forest  home 
O'  Houndwood,  till  away  shall  speed 

Generations  mony  a  ane  ; 
And  no  son  shall  heir  that  Ha' 
Till  Chappie  leave  baith  wood  and  wa', 

And  a*  our  kings  and  queens  are  gane." 

Houndwood  is  an  old  mansion  lying  on  the  north  bank  of 
the  Eye,  about  four  miles  south-west  of  Coldingham.  It  was 
an  old  possession  of  the  priory  of  Coldingham  ;  and  the  house 
was  placed  in  the  midst  of  the  forest  attached  to  that  splendid 
establishment — and  was  built,  it  is  said,  as  a  hunting-seat  for 
the  prior.  Like  all  old  country  mansions,  Houndwood  was 
long  a  haunted  house  ;  and  individuals  are  still  living  who 
maintain  that  they  have  heard  strange  sounds  and  seen  strange 
sights  there.  The  ghost  which  so  long  troubled  the  .inmates  of 
the  forest  house  was  usually  called  "  Chappie,"  from  the  fre- 
quent knockings  which  it  made  during  the  night.  The  servants 


SOME   VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH   SUPERSTITION.  89 

were  frequently  annoyed,  even  in  the  daytime,  with  its  perti- 
nacious visits.  Sometimes  a  knocking  would  be  heard  at  the 
front  door  ;  and  if  anybody  went  to  open  it,  nobody  could  be 
seen,  except  on  one  occasion,  when  on  the  servant's  opening 
the  door,  a  grand  lady  rushed  past  her,  and  went  up  the  stairs 
with  a  majestic  gait,  rustling  in  silks  and  satins  ;  but  this  lady 
was  never  afterward  seen,  either  within  or  without  the  house. 
Sometimes,  in  the  twilight,  would  be  heard  near  the  house  the 
voice  as  of  the  greeting  and  wailing  of  a  child  in  distress  ;  and 
when  the  inmates  of  the  house  went  out  to  seek  the  object  of 
such  lamentation,  it  could  never  be  found — "  an  individual  told 
me  lately,"  says  Mr.  George  Henderson  in  his  valuable  little 
brochure  on  "  The  Popular  Rhymes,  Sayings,  and  Proverbs  of 
the  County  of  Berwick,"  "  that  her  father  was  one  of  those 
who  made  such  a  search,  on  one  occasion."  At  other  times, 
during  the  silence  of  night,  there  would  be  heard  loud  knock- 
ings,  rattling  and  rolling  of  heavy  objects  about  the  house,  and 
sounds  as  if  of  combatants  in  mortal  struggle,  and  sometimes 
all  the  plates,  basins,  and  glasses  were  scattered  over  the  floor, 
and  then  followed  meanings,  and  groans  of  an  appalling  kind, 
which  made  the  inmates  shudder  and  creep  together  in  terror 
and  dismay.  One  night,  our  informant,  then  a  very  young 
girl,  and  a  servant  in  the  house,  had  occasion  to  go  with  a 
friend  to  the  neighboring  farmhouse  of  Lamington.  When 
about  halfway  to  the  place,  they  were  struck  with  the  sound  of 
what  appeared  to  be  a  great  number  of  horsemen  coming  gallop- 
ing up  behind  them  ;  they  both  ran  to  the  side  of  the  road,  and 
got  upon  the  hedge-bank  to  be  out  of  the  way  of  the  riders  ; 
they  had  only  stood  a  minute  or  so,  when  the  troop  rushed  past 
— at  least,  what  appeared,  by  the  sound,  to  be  a  troop — for 
they  saw  nothing  ;  and  the  noise  of  the  trampling  of  the  horses, 
and  the  clashing  of  armor,  died  away  on  the  wind,  as  if  it  had 
been  a  real  cavalcade  of  mortal  men  and  horses  !  There  was  a 
room  in  Houndwood  House,  called  "  Chappie's  room,"  into 
which  nobody  ever  cared  to  enter,  even  in  the  broad  light  of 
day.  It  was  from  this  room  that  most  of  the  supernatural 


90  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

noises  seemed  to  proceed.  In  it  had  been  done,  at  some 
former  period,  an  atrocious  deed  of  murder  :  there  were  dark 
spots  of  blood  on  the  floor,  which  could  not  be  washed  out — 
the  floor  had  been  taken  up  and  renewed — but  it  was  all  the 
same — the  gory  marks  reappeared  in  the  new  flooring  as  well  ! 
In  consequence  of  this  murder,  it  was  prophesied,  by  whom  we 
never  heard,  that  Houndwood  was  not  to  have  a  male  heir  for 
five  generations  at  least.  Oui  father  had  a  cousin,  Margaret 
Smeaton  by  name,  who  died  in  Chirnside  in  1827,  and  who, 
when  young,  lived  as  a  servant  at  Houndwood.  She  was  a 
very  pious  woman,  and  would  not  have  told  an  untruth  to 
please  the  greatest  lord  or  lady  in  Christendom,  and  she  related 
to  our  father  the  following  story,  which  we  have  often  heard 
him  tell  :  "  While  living  at  Houndwood,  an  Englishman  was 
hired  as  gardener — he  would  not  believe  in  the  tales  about  the 
ghost  ;  and  so  bold  and  confident  was  he  that  he  swore  there 
was  no  such  thing  in  the  world  as  ghost  or  apparitions  ;  and  to 
show  that  he  did  not  believe  in  them,  he  had  a  bed  made  up  in 
'  Chappie's  '  room,  in  which  no  person  had  slept  for  a  hundred 
years  or  more  ;  and  there  he  was  determined  to  sleep  in  defiance 
of  all  the  ghosts,  goblins,  and  devils  under  the  moon  !  Well, 
the  gardener  went  to  his  bed  in  the  said  '  goblin  chamber,'  and 
composed  himself  for  sleep  ;  but  about  the  witching  hour  of 
twelve, 

'  When  churchyards  yawn,  and  hell  itself  breathes  out 
Contagion  to  the  world,' 

the  crest-fallen  gardener  came  down  the  stairs  with  such  pre- 
cipitation that  he  put  both  neck  and  limbs  in  the  utmost  jeop- 
ardy, and  swore  that  he  would  never  set  foot  again  in  that 
room  while  he  lived  ;  and  when  asked  what  he  saw,  or  heard, 
that  had  put  him  into  such  affright,  he  said  that  he  would 
never  tell  any  mortal  man  or  woman  what  he  had  seen  !"  It 
is  said  that  "  Chappie"  sometimes  appeared  in  the  shape  of  a 
pair  of  enormous  military  or  trooper's  boots,  stalking  across 
the  floor  all  plashed  with  blood,  but  no  other  part  of  the 


SOME   VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH   SUPERSTITION.  91 

wearer  of  those  boots  was  visible.  Such  is  a  specimen  of  the 
ghost  stories,  which  had  such  a  charm  for  our  boyhood  ! 

We  have  not  left  ourselves  much  space  to  speak  upon  the 
more  favorite  and  popular  department  of  superstition — that  of 
dreams.  The  words  about  dreams  have  not  always  been  as  wise 
as  those  of  William  Calder,  of  Strath-halladale,  who  used  to 
say,  "  When  I  have  a  pleasant  dream  I  thank  the  Lord  for  it, 
and  when  it  is  unpleasant  I  thank  Him  that  it  was  only  a 
dream."  Many  of  our  Scotch  friends  have  had  some  experi- 
ences to  give  us  from  dreamland,  tending  to  show  the  prev- 
alence of  a  certain  kind  of  composition  in  the  blood  or  tem- 
perament very  favorable  to  a  kind  of  spiritual  communion. 

A  Scotchman — a  dear,  but  now  departed,  friend  of  the 
author  of  this  volume — used  to  tell  how  he,  early,  when  a 
very  little  child,  lost  his  father.  His  mother  had  tenderly 
loved  her  husband.  She  was  distracted  ;  she  was  desolate. 
All  day  long,  and  for  many  days,  she  lay  as  one  stunned  ;  she 
could  not  brook  the  loss  ;  she  could  not  live  for  her  child. 
One  night  she  dreamed  she  was  in  a  deep  forest  alone  ;  she 
could  not  see  the  path,  nor  know  the  way,  but  she  knew  she 
was  in  a  forest.  Suddenly  a  shining  one  stood  before  her. 
He  was  clad  in  white,  but  he  was  radiant,  and  he  illuminated 
the  forest.  He  revealed  the  path  ;  he  revealed  himself.  He 
held  in  his  hand  a  golden  wand,  and  with  it  he  touched  the  left 
eye  of  the  mourning  widow,  and  she  saw  no  longer  the  forest ; 
all  was  lit  up  with  heaven,  with  brightness,  and  there  in  the 
distance,  beyond  a  doubt,  was  her  husband,  and  he  knew  her, 
recognized  her,  and  gave  her  his  well-known  smile.  The 
stranger  still  stood  by  her  side. 

"Oh,"  she  said,  "  touch  the  other  eye  !" 

She  was  all  impatience.  What  might  not  that  touch  do  ? — 
bring  her  to  him  ;  bring  him  to  her  ? 

"  Better  not,"  said  the  white-robed  shining  one,  "  better 
not." 

But  she  still  said,  "  Do,  do!  oh,  do  !"  Her  heart  was  im- 
patient. 


92  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  and  he  touched  the  other  eye,  and  in- 
stantly all  faded,  the  husband,  the  heaven,  the  stranger,  and 
she  woke  to  her  lonely  pillow. 

The  reader  may  rely  on  this  as  a  veritable  dream,  perhaps  he 
will  say  a  foolish  dream,  but,  on  the  strength  of  it,  she  arose 
and  went  forth  to  life  and  duty.  The  dream  became  cheerful- 
ness, solace,  and  hope  to  her  heart  ;  her  boy,  in  due  time,  took 
his  degree  in  Edinburgh,  became  a  minister,  and  was  just  one 
of  the  most  beautiful  spirits  it  has  been  the  writer's  privilege 
to  know. 

A  lady,  also  a  friend  of  the  writer,  from  beyond  Aberdeen, 
the  daughter  of  a  Presbyterian  minister,  and  one  who  always 
seemed  to  have  fairy  blood  in  her  veins,  used  to  tell  us  of  a 
dream  she  had  before  she  was  married,  when  living  at  home  at 
her  father's  manse.  The  pastor  of  the  next  parish,  some  sev- 
eral miles  distant,  was  her  uncle — her  father's  brother.  He 
was  an  unco'  dry  old  body,  given  over  to  studies  of  a  very  per- 
plexing description  ;  he  was  a  weird  comminglement  of  meta- 
physician and  mathematician  ;  nobody,  even  of  his  own  family, 
saw  much  of  him,  week  in  and  week  out  ;  he  lived  at  the  top 
of  the  house,  in  a  remote  study,  surrounded  by  his  books  and 
diagrams,  and  working  out  his  head-splitting  calculations.  His 
brother— the  father  of  our  friend — often  told  him  that  if  he 
did  not  quit  his  evil  ways,  and  become  human,  he,  or  some- 
body for  him,  "  would  sairly  rue  his  weird."  One  night, 
Sally,  his  niece,  and  our  friend,  dreamed  that  she  saw  the  old 
manse  in  which  her  uncle  lived  just  clean  divide  itself  right  in 
two,  and  one  part  seemed  to  come  toward  her  father's  manse, 
and  the  other  seemed  to  go  off,  she  knew  not  whither  ;  and 
she  woke,  but  falling  asleep  again,  she  dreamed  the  same 
dream.  She  was  a  girl  of  about  twenty  years  of  age,  and, 
when  she  woke  in  the  morning,  the  dream  so  troubled  her 
that  she  would  give  her  father  no  rest  until  he  sent  off  to  the 
other  manse  to  know  if  all  were  right  there.  On  the  way  his 
messenger  met  some  one  coming  to  inform  them  that,  during 
the  night,  the  minister,  her  uncle,  had  been  seized  with  fever 


SOME    VARIETIES   OF   SCOTTISH    SUPERSTITION.  03 

— uncontrollable  madness — insanity  !  The  end  of  the  story 
was  that  the  dear  old  manse  in  the  moorlands  was  broken  up. 
The  wife  and  children  came  for  a  time  to  the  other  manse, 
while  the  poor  shattered  and  broken  body  and  mind  were  con- 
veyed away  to  some  asylum,  where  they  also  soon  parted  com- 
pany ilf  death.  And  so  the  manse,  as  in  the  dream,  divided  in 
two  1 


CHAPTER  V. 

"THE  SCOT  ABROAD." 

WE  appropriate  the  title  given  by  the  historian  of  Scotland, 
Mr.  John  Burton,  to  his  two  pleasant  volumes.  It  is  very  de- 
scriptive, and  suggestive  of  a  remarkable  trait  of  Scotch  char- 
acter. Mr.  Burton  devotes  his  work  very  much  to  the  great 
relations  of  Scotland  with  France,  in  the  time  of  the  French 
League  with  Scotland,  and  in  those  days  when  the  old  Scots 
Guard  of  France  was  as  famous  as  the  unfortunate  Swiss  Guard 
of  recent  and  unhappy  times.  But  this  is  only  a  hint  of  what 
the  Scot  has  been  ever  since.  With  considerable  pride  and 
real  humor  a  Scotchman  said  to  us  once,  "  We're  just  the 
greatest  vagabonds  on  the  face  of  the  earth  ;"  and  so,  if  the 
vagabond  be  a  wanderer,  as  the  term  literally  and  etymologi- 
cally  implies,  just  as  Abraham,  Jacob,  Joseph,  and  Moses  were 
vagabonds,  "  strangers  and  pilgrims  on  the  earth,"  to  the  same 
illustrious  order  the  Scot  in  all  ages  has  belonged.  He  has 
furnished  the  world,  in  recent  times,  with  its  most  illustrious 
travellers,  and  especially  in  the  department  of  African  travel. 
Livingstone,  although  the  incomparable  chief,  had  many  dis- 
tinguished predecessors  from  his  own  country,  notably  Mungo 
Park,  Hugh  Clapperton,  James  Bruce,  Ledyard,  Leyden,  and 
many  others  ;  and  the  Scot  has  supplied,  perhaps,  not  only  the 
most  enterprising  but  the  most  successful  emigrants.  The  Scot 
has  not  merely  left  his  mountains,  lochs,  and  moors  for  the 
great  cities  of  England.  The  same  spirit  which  makes  him  so 
important  an  element  in  the  commercial  life  of  London,  Man- 
chester, and  other  great  cities,  has  pushed  him  out  to  the  most 
important  commercial  seats  in  far-distant  quarters  of  the  globe 
as  engineer,  trader,  and  inventor. 


"THE   SCOT   ABROAD/*  95 

The  Scot  is  one  of  the  most  ubiquitous  of  all  travellers. 
Referring  to  this,  an  ill-natured  old  proverbial  riddle  asks, 
"  Which  is  the  finest  view  in  all  Scotland  ?"  The  reply  being, 
' '  The  road  which  leads  out  of  it,  or  the  road  which  leads  to 
England."  If  this  be  so,  at  any  rate  England  and  the  world 
have  gained  by  the  spirit  which  has  impelled  the  Scot  to 
wander.  In  a  quiet,  irresistible  sort  of  a  way,  he  is  taking 
possession  of  the  world,  and  especially  the  world  opened  up  by 
the  arms  and  discoveries  of  Great  Britain.  Its  markets,  its 
literature,  its  poetry,  its  manufactories,  its  steamboats,  and  its 
trains,  its  foreign  depots — Singapore,  Shanghai.  Hong  Kong, 
Calcutta,  Melbourne,  and  Montreal — all  proclaim  the  Scot  is 
abroad.  The  people,  proverbially  considered  the  most  cau- 
tious, are,  perhaps,  the  most  adventurous,  the  most  speculative 
and  daring,  not  to  say  rash,  on  the  face  of  the  earth,  and  their 
power  is  now,  where  it  has  ever  been,  not  so  much  in  their 
prudence,  or  their  principles,  nor  in  their  so  often  boasted  love 
of  liberty — which  really  has  often  looked  very  mythical,  and 
faded  away  into  a  true  Celtic  worship  of  that  which  is  strongest 
— but  in  a  certain  strong,  shrewd  perception,  sustained  by 
physical  daring,  and  physical  endurance,  a  firm  educational 
faculty  at  home  resulting  in  a  strangely  uniform  success  abroad. 
Scotland  herself  is  now  becoming  thickly  peopled,  and  the 
motives  which  once  drove  the  Scot  into  foreign  armies  and  far- 
away cities  do  not  operate  quite  to  the  same  extent  now.  It  is 
wonderful,  and  almost  inexplicable,  that  while  Ireland,  with  so 
much  more  of  the  material  means  -  of  prosperity  at  her  com- 
mand, has  added  little  to  the  world's  stock  and  store,  and  is 
still  loudly  clamoring  about  Home  Rule,  every  Scotchman 
would,  probably,  gratefully  acknowledge  that  the  moment 
which  put  an  end  to  the  mere  political  independence  of  Scot- 
land put  an  end  also  to  its  poverty,  increased  its  pride,  and 
lifted  it  from  the  condition  of  a  little  insignificant  principality, 
to  become  one  of  the  mightiest  elements  in  the  political  and 
commercial  administration  of  Great  Britain; 

The  strength  of  Scotland  seems  really  to  lie  in  the  fact  that 


96  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  the  union"  has  brought  that  country  nearly  into  the  same 
close  relationship  as  the  English  counties,  say,  of  Yorkshire  or 
of  Cornwall. 

The  Scot  is  a  keen  trader.  An  old  woman  was  heard  in 
consultation  with  her  son,  who  was  about  to  embark  to  Austra- 
lia from  the  Land  o'  Cakes,  but  who  loudly  grumbled  at  the 
idea  of  going  to  a  country  where  he  heard  there  was  nothing 
to  trade  with  but  kangaroos.  "  Weel,"  said  the  old  woman, 
in  a  consolatory  tone,  "  and  is  na'  a  kangaroo's  money  as  good 
as  onybody  else's  ?"  It  is  true  that  this  restless  spirit  leaves 
many  a  neighborhood  silent,  solitary,  and  deserted  ;  many  a 
grand  old  feudal  castle  in  the  far  north  is  little  more  than  a 
mere  shooting-box,  and  still,  in  such  old  neighborhoods,  there 
are  some  tenacious  old  souls  who  cling  to  the  old  scenes,  and 
drink  the  Highland  toast  of  old  times,  "  Here's  our  native 
country,  and  may  those  who  don't  like  it  leave  it  !"  But,  in 
most  instances,  those  who  have  left  it  did  not  depart  from  any 
ungrateful  sense  of  dislike.  Usually  the  absence  of  all  the 
means  and  hopes  of  life  drove  them  away,  and,  like  Richie 
Moniplies,  they  find  the  means  and  magnificence  of  their  coun- 
try to  increase  in  proportion  to  their  distance  from  it. 

Sweden  has,  among  her  other  romances  and  legends,  many 
of  "  the  Scot  Abroad."  It  is  with  reference  to  the  Scotch 
descent  upon  Uick  that,  at  midnight,  when  the  storm  rages, 
the  Ballar  peasant  listens  and  cries,  "  Hark  !  'tis  the  war  cry 
of  the  Scots,  and  the  clash  of  their  weapons  from  the  battle- 
field." The  story  of  that  immense  villain,  Bothwell,  "  the 
wicked  earl,"  is  as  full  of  romantic  incident  and  interest  in 
Sweden  as  in  Scotland.  He  was  imprisoned,  died,  and  was 
buried  at  Malmohus  in  Sweden,  and  he  no  doubt  there  made  a 
confession  quite  exonerating  Queen  Mary  from  the  murder  of 
Darnley.  We  find  "  the  Scot  Abroad  "  in  Sweden  and  at 
Stockholm  in  the  last  years  of  the  reign  of  Gustavus  Vasa  ;  in- 
deed, it  is  said,  and  is  no  doubt  true,  that,  in  the  Swedish 
Riddarhaus,  near  two  hundred  of  our  Scotch  cousins  hang 
enrolled  among  the  noblest  of  the  country.  We  seem  to  be 


"THE   SCOT   ABROAD."  97 

quite  at  home  in  Sweden,  among  the  Stuarts  and  Ruthvens,  the 
Mornays,  Balfours,  and  Neaves.  The  Scots  were  often  enno- 
bled, and  often  also  treated  in  a  scurvy  manner.  Thus,  in 
1565,  we  read  how,  on  a  Scot  soliciting  the  release  of  one 
Anders  Ansteot,  unjustly  suspected  as  a  spy,  and  imprisoned  at 
Stockholm,  King  Erik  writes  to  his  secretary  ;  "  Accuse  An- 
ders at  once  of  treachery  and  breaking  the  trust  confided  in 
him,  and  cause  him  immediately  to  be  executed.  The  other 
Scotchman  will  come  with  a  paper  in  which  his  Majesty  orders 
Anders  shall  be  pardoned.  This  reprieve  must  not  be  delivered 
until  the  sentence  is  already  executed.  When  he  arrives  you 
must  pretend  to  think  it  a  great  pity,  and  blame  the  man  for 
not  having  made  more  haste  on  the  way  !"  Not  to  mention 
the  valorous  deeds  of  the  "  Green  Brigade  in  Sweden,"  we  find 
"  the  Scot  Abroad  V  with  Gustavus  Adolphus,  in  Germany, 
fighting  with  the  great  champion  of  the  Reformation,  and  for 
their  services  upward  of  two  hundred  received  patents  of  nobil- 
ity, while  those  who  could  prove  themselves  of  baronial  line- 
age, although  only  of  collateral  descent,  were  granted  the  same 
rank  in  Sweden,  with  counties,  baronies,  and  lands  to  support 
the  dignity  of  the  newly  erected  fief.  We  know  not  where  in 
English  literature  we  could  find  a  more  curious  chapter  illustra- 
tive of  "  the  Scot  Abroad  "  than  the  forty  pages  of  Horace 
Marryat's  Appendix  to  his  "One  Year  in  Sweden."  When 
we  remember  how  delightfully  the  great  northern  wizard  called 
up  the  memories  of  the  persons  of  the  old  Scots  Guard  in 
France,  in  the  pages  of  "  Quentin  Durward,"  we  can  but  wish 
that  the  same  enchantingly  descriptive  and  dramatic  pen  had 
dealt  with  persons  and  scenes  which  seem  to  us  even  more 
romantic  in  the  story  of  the  Scotch  Abroad  in  Stockholm  and 
Sweden,  Copenhagen  and  Denmark. 

One  of  the  most  entertaining  novels  of  John  Gait  is  "  Laurie 
Todd. "  It  is  the  story  of  a  Scotsman  who  emigrated  to 
America,  and,  by  a  combination  of  thrift,  prudence,  and 
sagacity,  succeeded  in  life.  But,  in  fact,  it  is  known  well  that 
the  genius  of  the  story-teller  only  wove  together  the  real  facts 


98  SCOTTISH    CHAKACTERISTICS. 

in  the  life  of  Grant  Thorburn,  from  Dalkeith,  who  from  hum- 
ble beginnings  became  a  successful  man  in  New  York.  "  A 
slikie  auld  Scotchman"  described  him  very  well,  when  he  said 
to  him,  "  Ye're  an  auld  furrant  chap  [Thorburn  was  but  a  lad 
then],  an'  nae  doobt  but  ye'll  do  very  wee!  in  their  country."" 
Grant  Thorburn's  life  well  illustrates  the  Scotsman  who  carries 
the  religious  sentiments  and  convictions  of  his  early  training 
with  him.  But  when  we  think  of  u  the  Scot  Abroad  "  we 
come  up  against  some  of  the  most  illustrious  names  in  history. 
Especially  we  have  that  name,  so  long  Scotland's  highest  boast, 
John  Knox,  who  was  a  Scot  Abroad,  working  for  nineteen 
months  as  a  prisoner  in  the  French  galleys,  passing  there 
through  that  dreadful  ordeal  which  was  to  fit  him  for  that  great 
reforming  work  in  Scotland — that  "  Scottish  Puritanism 
which,"  says  Thomas  Carlyle,  "  well  considered,  seems  to  me 
distinctly  the  noblest  and  completest  form  that  the  grand  six- 
teenth century  Reformation  anywhere  assumed."  And  of 
quite  another  order  was  Marshal  Keith,  the  right-hand  man  of 
Frederick  the  Great,  and  Patrick  Gordon,  whose  life  of  advent- 
ure at  last  landed  him  in  the  service  of  Peter  the  Great. 
"Whatever  may  be  the  cause,  through  all  ages,  near  or  far 
remote,  the  Scots  appear  ever  as  the  most  restless  of  mortals  ; 
and  even  of  those  whose  names  are  intimately  associated  with 
their  own  country  it  may  be  said  they  won  their  spurs  abroad. 
It  is  a  Scotch  proverb  that  "A  Scotsman,  a  crow,  and  a 
Newcastle  grindstone  travel  a'  the  world  over.1'1  The  Scotch, 
very  singularly,  are  far  less  insular  than  the  English  ;  it  is  said 
they  differ  less  from  the  general  type  of  Europeans  ;  they  adapt 
themselves  more  to  the  habits  and  modes  of  thought  of  other 
nations  ;  it  is  said,  also  that  on  the  Continent,  they  mark 
themselves  far  less  strongly,  and  conform  to  foreign  ways  more 
easily  and  naturally  than  the  English.  It  is  far  more  usual  to 
meet  with  a  continentalized  Scotchman  than  a  continentalized 
Englishman.  As  we  have  already  said  and  shown,  the  connec- 
tion of  Scotland  and  France  has  been  much  more  close,  and  the 
influence  much  more  abiding,  than  between  France  and  Eng- 


"THE    SCOT    ABROAD."  99 

land.  Thus  in  Scotland,  as  in  France,  in  the  designation  of 
functionaries  and  officials  they  have  advocates,  procurators, 
provosts  and  bailies,  etc.,  corresponding  to  the  barristers  and 
solicitors,  the  mayors  and  the  aldermen,  of  England.  Old 
Osborne  said,  ages"  since,  "  The  Scot,  like  the  poor  Swiss,  finds 
a  more  commodious  abiding  under  every  climate  than  at  home, 
which,  as  it  makes  the  Swiss  to  venture  their  lives  in  the  quar- 
rel of  any  prince  for  money,  so  this  northern  people  are  known 
to  do  ;  or  turn  peddlers,  being  become  so  cunning  through 
necessity  that  they  ruin  all  about  them.  Manifest  in  Ireland, 
where  they  usually  say  none  of  any  other  country  can  prosper 
that  comes  to  live  within  the  kenning  of  a  Scot."  This  testi- 
mony, although  neither  courteous  nor  kind ,  is  curious  for  its 
age,  while  it  has  a  large  measure  of  substantial  truth.  A  story 
appeared  in  a  well-known  serial,  some  several  years  since,  de- 
scribing the  disappointment  of  an  Englishman  who  went  out  to 
the  East  as  an  interpreter,  and  whose  ruling  passion  was  a 
hatred  of  everything  Scotch  ;  but  strolling  through  the  camp 
with  a  Turkish  officer,  and  abusing  the  Scotch  to  his  heart's 
content,  to  his  astonishment,  Hassan  Bey,  the  Turk,  broke 
out,  "  I'll  tell  ye  whaat,  ma  mon,  gin  ye  daur  lowse  yere 
tongue  upon  my  country  like  thaat,  I'll  gie  ye  a  cloot  on  the 
lug  that'll  mak'  it  tingle  fra  this  till  Hallowe'en  !"  The  thun- 
derstruck Englishman  stammered  out,  "  Why,  my  good  man, 
I  thought  you  were  a  Turk  !"  "  And  sae  I  am  a  Turk  the 
noo,  ma  braw  chiel,"  said  the  angry  Glasgow  Mussulman, 
"  but  my  faither's  auld  leather  breeks  ne'er  travelled  farther 
than  just  fra  Glasgow  to  Greenock  and  back  again  ;  but  when 
I  gang  hame — as  I'll  do  or  it's  lang,  if  it  be  God's  will — I'll 
just  be  Wully  Forbes,  son  o'  auld  Daddy  Forbes,  o'  the  Gor- 
bals,  for  a'  that's  come  and  gane  !"  Presently  a  splendidly- 
dressed  Hungarian  came  up  and  said  to  the  Turk,  "  Wully, 
mon,  there's  a  truce  the  noo  for  twa  hours  ;  just  come  wi'  mo 
and  we'll  hae  a  glass  o'  whuskey  thegither. "  It  was  the  same 
with  a  Russian  officer,  until  the  Englishman  exclaimed,  "  Bless 
my  heart  !  is  everybody  on  earth  a  Scotchman  I  Perhaps  I'm 


100  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

one  myself  without  knowing  it  !"  But  when  the  Russian  gen- 
eral Tarassoff  exclaimed,  "  Eh,  Donald  Cawmell  !  are  ye  here  ?" 
and  Ibrahim  Pasha  burst  forth,  simultaneously,  "  What,  Sandy 
Robertson  !  can  this  be  you  ?"  the  Englishman  burst  forth, 
"  It's  all  over  !  Turks,  Russians,  Hungarians,  English — all 
Scotchmen  !  It's  more  than  I  can  bear  !  I  shall  go  home  ; 
there's  nothing  left  for  me  to  do  here.  I  came  out  as  an  inter- 
preter, but  if  all  the  nations  of  Europe  talk  nothing  but  Scotch, 
what  use  can  I  be  ?"  This  seems  very  droll,  but  it  is  not  more 
droll  than  real. 

In  the  midst  of  all  this,  however,  it  is  still  true  that  "  the 
Scot  Abroad  "  usually  not  only  retains  his  own  nationality,  but 
also  affects  some  considerable  contempt  frequently  for  the  peo- 
ple among  whom  he  dwells.  Mr.  Boyd  gives  us  the  following 
characteristic  anecdote  : 

"  The  laird  of ,  a  few  years  after  the  battle  of  Water- 
loo, took  his  family  to  France  for  economy  and  education.  A 
former  neighbor  of  his  in  Scotland,  who  had  never  been  on  the 
Continent,  resolved  about  1832  to  visit  his  friend,  who  had 
taken  up  his  abode  at  Tours,  or  Dijon.  The  day  after  his 
arrival,  he,  with  his  host  as  cicerone,  were  strolling  through  the 
streets  of  the  old  town,  the  laird  explaining  everything  minutely 
to  the  new-comer.  At  last  they  came  to  something  which  even 
puzzled  the  laird,  and  greatly  interested  his  visitor,  who  said, 
'  Do  ask  this  person  to  explain  and  tell  us  all  about  it.'  '  Na, 
na,  naething  o'  the  kind,'  said  the  laird,  '  for  I  maun  (must) 
tell  you  that  I  hate  the  people,  and  I  hate  their  language,  and 
hae  I  not  hauden  weel  aff  (have  I  not  managed  well)  not  to  hae 
pickt  ony  o'  it  up  in  fourteen  years  ?  '  '  Well,'  said  his 
visitor,  '  as  you  have  considered  France  a  country  good  enough 
to  live  in  for  the  last  fourteen  years,  I  should  not  have  turned 
my  back  so  much  upon  the  language  as  you  appear  so  success- 
fully to  have  done.'  The  laird  made  no  reply. " 

We  believe  it  is  Sir  Archibald  Alison  who  mentions  how, 
when  Marshal  Keith  was  combating  the  Turkish  forces  under 
the  Grand  Vizier,  the  two  generals  came  to  a  conference  with 


"THE    SCOT    ABROAD."  101 

each  other  ;  the  Grand  Vizier  came  mounted  on  a  camel,  in  all 
the  pomp  of  Eastern  magnificence  ;  the  Scotch  Marshal  Keith, 
who  originally  came  from  the  neighborhood  of  Tariff,  in  Aber- 
deenshire,  approached  on  horseback.  After  the  conference  the 
Turkish  Grand  Vizier  said  to  Keith  that  he  would  like  to  speak 
a  few  words  in  private  to  him,  in  his  tent,  and  begged  that  nc 
one  should  accompany  him  ;  Marshal  Keith  accordingly  went 
in,  and  the  moment  they  conferred,  the  Grand  Vizier  threw  off 
his  turban,  tore  off  his  beard,  and  running  to  Marshal  Keith, 
said,  "  Oh,  Johnnie,  foo's  a  wi'  ye,  man  ?"  and  he  then  dis- 
covered that  the  Grand  Vizier  of  Turkey  was  a  schoolfellow 
of  his  own  who  had  disappeared  about  thirty  years  before 
from  a  parish  school  near  Methlic.  And  we  remember  to  have 
met  with  an  anecdote  of  a  Scotchman  from  Perth,  who  had 
penetrated  into  some  far  interior  of  Asia — we  forget  where  ;  he 
had  to  see  the  Pasha,  or  Bashaw.  He  was  introduced  to  the 
comely  man  in  his  tent.  They  gathered  up  their  knees,  and 
sat  down  upon  their  carpets.  They  drank  their  strong  coffee, 
and  smoked  their  hookahs  together  in  solemn  silence  ;  few 
words,  at  any  rate,  passed  between  them,  but,  we  may  trust, 
sufficient  for  the  occasion  ;  but  when  the  man  of  Perth  was 
about  to  leave,  the  Pasha  also  arose,  and,  following  him  out- 
side the  tent,  said,  in  good  strong  Doric  Scotch,  "  I  kenned  ye 
vera  weel  in  Perth  ;  ye  are  just  sae  and  sae. "  The  Perth  man 
was  astonished,  as  well  he  might  be,  until  the  Pasha  explained, 
as  he  said,  "  I'm  just  a  Perth  man  mysel'  !"  He  had  trav- 
elled, and  he  had  become  of  importance  to  the  Government 
there.  Hie  story  was  not  very  creditable.  In  the  expectation 
of  the  post  he  filled,  he  had  become  a  Mohammedan.  But  he 
was  an  illustration  of  the  ubiquity  of  his  race,  and  of  "  the 
Scot  Abroad." 

But  the  heroes  of  the  Indian  service  illustrate  the  outward- 
bound  character  of  the  Scot,  and  the  ease  with  which  he  not 
only  finds  a  home  for  himself  on  every  soil,  but  the  energy 
and  strength  of  mind  he  brings  to  bear  to  make  his  home  use- 
ful to  himself  and  to  others.  Some  of  the  most  eminent  and 


102  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

brilliant  names  in  the  rise  and  development  of  our  Indian 
empire  are  those  of  Scotsmen,  from  the  highest  names  to  the 
rank  of  lowliest  service. 

And  not  in  India  alone,  but  all  the  world  over,  energy  has 
passed  from  the  fields  of  the  Lothians  and  the  bleak  moors  of 
the  north  to  create  generals  like  Baird,  Moore,  Abercrombie, 
Graham,  Campbell,  Gordon,  who  have  raised  the  renown  and 
glory  of  the  empire  ;  and  judges  like  Erskine,  Wedderburn, 
Murray,  Campbell,  and  Brougham,  who  must  all  be  spoken  of 
as  Scots  Abroad. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

THE   HUMORS   OF   THE    SCOTTISH    DIALECT. 

WE  are  quite  aware  that  some  Scotch  cousin  may  be  some- 
what aggrieved  at  the  use  of  the  term  dialect,  and  may  interro- 
gate us  at  the  commencement  of  our  chapter,  "  Dinna  ye  ken, 
sir,  that  oors  is  a  language  ?"  We  shall  only  humbly  entreat 
that  this  may  be  permitted  for  the  moment  to  pass,  nor  is  this 
chapter  intended  to  claim  any  of  the  regards  of  a  philological 
essay.  It  is  undoubted  that,  to  most  English  readers,  the 
Scottish  language  is  more  or  less  of  a  mystery  ;  it  very  fre- 
quently draws  an  almost  impenetrable  veil  over  the  richest 
humor  of  Burns  and  Scott,  and  prevents  the  reader  from  enter- 
ing into  and  following  the  course  of  a  dialogue.  Nor  is  the 
dialect  one  any  more  than  those  of  Somersetshire  and  Lanca- 
shire are  one,  and  the  Lowlander  and  the  English-speaking 
Highlander  are  as  likely  to  misunderstand  each  other  as  are 
those  widely-separated  counties  of  England. 

Mr.  Burton,  in  his  both  instructive  and  entertaining  volumes, 
"  The  Scot  Abroad,"  to  which  we  have  already  referred,  shows, 
in  a  peculiarly  interesting  manner,  how  much  indebted  the 
architecture  of  Edinburgh  is,  or  rather  has  been,  to  its  connec- 
tion with  France.  The  same  remark  applies  to  the  etymology 
of  many  of  its  words.  It  is  supposed  that  there  is  something 
peculiarly  Scotch  about  a  haggis,  and  Burns,  the  poet,  has 
loudly  proclaimed  its  nationality,  and,  eulogizing  it,  has  scoffed 
at  the  French  ragout.  Yet  Mr.  Burton  pretty  plainly  demon- 
strates that  the  one  is  as  French  as  the  other.  The  haggis, 
that  potent  pudding  which  has  been  called  a  boiled  bagpipe,  is 
the  lineal  descendant  of  the  French  hachis,  which,  being  inter- 
preted, means  a  sliced  gallimaufry,  or  minced  meat.  The 


104  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

almost  equally  famous  Scotch  dish  hodge-podge  is  also  a  gift 
from  France — hochepot ;  that  also  is  a  confused  gallimaufry,  or 
mingle-mangle  of  divers  things  jumbled  together.  In  connec- 
tion with  this  jumbling  together,  a  curious  story,  and  worth 
repeating,  is  told  of  the  late  Prince  Consort. 

During  one  of  the  earlier  visits  of  the  royal  family  to  Bal- 
moral, Prince  Albert,  dressed  in  a  simple  manner,  was  crossing 
one  of  the  Scottish  lakes  in  a  steamer,  and  was  curious  to  note 
everything  relating  to  the  management  of  the  vessel,  and, 
among  many  other  things,  the  cooking.  Approaching  the 
galley,  where  a  brawny  Highlander  was  attending  to  the  culi- 
nary matters,  he  was  attracted  by  the  savory  odors  of  a  pot  of 
hodge-podge  which  the  Highlander  was  preparing.  "  What  is 
that  ?"  asked  the  prince,  who  was  not  known  to  the  cook. 
"Hodge-podge,  sir,"  was  the  reply.  "  How  is  it  made?" 
was  the  next  question.  "  Why,  there's  mutton  intiVt,  and 
turnips  intiVt,  and  carrots  intiVt,  and — "  "  Yes,  yes,"  said 
the  prince  ;  "  but  what  is  *  intil't '  ?"  "  Why,  there's  mutton 
intiVt,  and  turnips  intiVt,  and  carrots  intiVt,  and — "  "  Yes, 
I  see,  but  what  is  '  intil't '  ?"  The  man  looked  at  him,  and, 
seeing  that  the  prince  was  serious,  he  replied,  "  There's  mutton 
intiVt,  and  turnips  intiVt,  and—"  "  Yes,  certainly,  I  know," 
urged  the  inquirer;  "but  what  is  '  intil't '— *  intil't '  I" 
"  Man  !"  yelled  the  Highlander,  brandishing  his  big  ladle, 
"am  I  no'  tellin'  ye  what's  intiVt?  There's  mutton  intil't, 
and — "  Here  the  interview  was  brought  to  a  close  by  one  of 
the  prince's  suite,  who  fortunately  was  passing,  explaining  to 
his  royal  highness  that  "  intil't"  simply  meant  "  into  it,"  and 
nothing  more  ! 

Burns,  as  is  well  known,  felt  the  inspiration  of  haggis  : 

"  Ye  Powr's,  who  mak  mankind  your  care, 
And  dish  them  out  their  bill  o'  fare, 
Auld  Scotland  wants  nae  stinking  ware, 

That  jimps  in  luggiea  •, 
But,  if  ye  wish  her  gratefu'  prayer, 
Gie  her  a  haggis  !" 


THE   HUMORS   OF  THE   SCOTTISH   DIALECT.  105 

But  hodge-podge  also  has  its  poet,  and  Mr.  Burton  has  intro- 
duced some  lines  singularly  national  and  characteristic.  They 
appear  never  to  have  been  published  before,  and  Mr.  Burton 
speaks  of  their  author  as  the  venerable  and  accomplished  Arch- 
ibald Bell,  the  sheriff  of  Ayrshire.  "  And  I  think,"  says  he, 
"  some  of  those  who  merely  knew  him  as  a  man  of  business 
will  be  a  little  surprised,  if  not  scandalized,  to  know  that  he 
was  capable  of  such  an  effusion."  We  can  only  trust  that  our 
readers  will  not  be  scandalized  by  its  insertion  here.  It  will 
be  noticed  that  he  spells  intilVt  more  correctly  than  the  writer 
of  the  prose  anecdote. 

A  SONG  IN  PRAISE   OF  HODGE-PODGE. 

"  O  leeze  me  on  the  canny  Scotch, 
Wha  first  contrived,  •without  a  botch, 
To  make  the  gusty,  good  hotch-potch, 

That  fills  the  wame  sae  brawly  : 
There's  carrots  intill't,  and  neaps  intill't, 
There's  cybies  intill't,  and  leeks  intiU't, 
There's  pease,  and  beans,  and  beets  intill't, 

That  soom  through  ither  sae  brawly. 

"  The  French  mounseer  and  English  loon, 
When  they  come  daunderin'  through  our  town, 
Wi'  smirks  an'  smacks  they  gulp  it  down, 

An'  lick  their  lips  fu'  brawly  : 
For  there's  carrots  intill't,  and  neaps  intill't, 
And  cybies  intill't,  and  leeks  intill't, 
There's  mutton,  and  lamb,  and  beef  intill't, 
That  maks  it  up  so  brawly. 

"  And  Irish  Pat,  when  he  comes  here, 
To  lay  his  lugs  in  our  good  cheer, 
He  shools  his  cutty  wi'  unco  steer, 

And  clears  his  coque  fu'  brawly  : 
For  there's  carrots  intill't,  and  neaps  intill't, 
There's  pease,  and  beans,  and  beets  intill't, 
And  a'  gude  gusty  meats  intill't, 

That  grease  his  gab  fu'  brawly. 


106  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  A  dainty  dame  she  cam'  crar  way, 
An'  sma'  soup  meagre  she  wad  hae  ; 
Wi'  your  fat  broth  I  cannot  away — 
I'  maks  me  scunner  fu'  brawly  : 
For  there's  carrots  intill't,  and  neaps  intill't, 
There's  cybies  intill't.  and  leeks  intill't, 
And  filthy,  greasy  meats  intill't, 

That  turn  my  stamach  sae  brawly. 

"  She  gat  her  soup  :  it  was  unco  trash, 
And  little  better  than  poor  dish-wash  ; 
'Twad  gie  a  man  the  water-brash 
To  sup  sic  dirt  sae  brawly  : 
Nae  carrots  intill't,  nor  neaps  intill't, 
Nae  cybies  intill't,  nor  leeks  intill't. 
Nor  nae  good  gusty  meats  intill't, 
To  line  the  ribs  fu'  brawly. 

"  Then  here's  to  ilka  kindly  Scot  ; 
Wi'  mony  good  broths  he  boils  his  pot, 
But  rare  hotch-potch  beats  a'  the  lot, 

It  smells  and  smacks  sae  brawly  : 
For  there's  carrots  intill't,  and  neaps  intill't, 
There's  pease,  and  beans,  and  beets  intill't, 
And  hearty,  wholesome  meats  intill't, 

That  stick  the  kite  sae  brawly." 

Of  course,  many  words,  which  seem  natural  enough  in  the 
more  retired  muirlands  and  mountain  districts,  become  very 
offensive  when  used  in  the  polite  circles  of  Edinburgh  society. 
Our  readers  will  remember  an  illustration  of  this  in  Dr.  Guth- 
rie's  story  of  the  unfortunate  use,  in  a  fashionable  pulpit  in 
Edinburgh,  of  the  word  puddings,  which,  although  it  might 
prove  interesting  to  an  etymologist — whose  business  has  been 
said  to  be  to  send  vagrant  words  back  to  their  own  parish — 
was  certainly  odd,  and  quite  out  of  place  in  an  Edinburgh 
pulpit. 

The  preacher,  from  a  remote  country  parish,  filling  the 
pulpit  of  the  eminent  Dr.  Blair,  in  the  presence  of  the  most 
cultivated  and  fashionable  congregation  in  Edinburgh,  amid 


THE    HT'MORS    of-    THK    SCOTTISH    DIALECT.  107 

many  other  vernaculars,  somewhat  horrific  to  polite  ears, 
reached  the  climax  of  his  offences  by  introducing  some  remarks 
upon  "  the  puddings11  of  mankind,  the  word  "  puddings'''  in 
Scottish  dialect  meaning  bowels. 

Speaking  of  the  "  Noctes  Ambrosianae,"  Lord  Cockburn 
says — and  we  thoroughly  sympathize  with  him — "  Its  Scotch  is 
the  best  Scotch  that  has  been  written  in  modern  times.  I  am 
really  sorry  for  the  poor  one-tongued  Englishman,  by  whom — 
because  the  Ettrick  Shepherd  uses  the  sweetest  and  most  ex- 
pressive of  living  languages — the  homely  humor,  the  sensibility, 
the  descriptive  power,  the  eloquence,  and  the  strong  joyous 
hilarity  of  that  animated  rustic  can  never  be  felt. "  "The 
sweetest  and  most  expressive  of  living  languages  !"  It  is  ver}' 
high  praise.  But  Lord  Cockburn  expresses  his  belief  that  the 
Scottish  dialect  is  dying  out  ;  he  is  afraid  that  even  Burns's  glory 
must  contract,  not  extend,  because  the  sphere  of  the  Scotch  lan- 
guage, ideas,  and  feelings  is  diminishing.  Even  in  Scotland 
there  are  now,  he  says,  more  English  words  and  less  of  the  Scotch 
idiom.  Even  in  Scotland  Burns  is  becoming  a  sealed  book. 
"  English,"  says  Lord  Cockburn,  with  becoming  national 
pride,  "  has  made  no  encroachment  on  me,"  but,  he  continues, 
"  I  could  name  dozens  of  families,  born,  living,  and  educated 
in  Edinburgh,  which  could  not  produce  a  single  son  and 
daughter  capable  of  understanding  even  '  The  Mouse,'  or  '  The 
Daisy.'  I  speak,"  he  continues,  "  more  Scotch  than  English 
throughout  the  day,  but  I  cannot  get  even  my  own  children  to 
do  more  than  pick  up  a  queer  word  of  Burns  here  and  there." 
Cockburn  wrote  thus  in  1842.  Since  then  every  year  has,  we 
arc  sorry  to  say,  witnessed,  more  and  more,  the  decline  of  the 
Scottish  language,  not  only  among  the  resident?  in  England, 
but  even  in  Edinburgh,  and  throughout  Scotland.  It  is  said 
that  Lord  Cockburn  was  one  of  the  last  who  added  to  the  gran- 
deur of  his  demeanor  as  a  judge  by  his  use  of  the  Scottish 
accent ;  and  it  cannot  be  doubted  that  it  is  a  vehicle  for  mascu- 
line pathos  far  superior  to  the  English  tongue. 

A  living  writer — an  eminent  poet  and  novelist — George  Me- 


108  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Donald,  has  done  his  best  to  keep  alive  the  waning  Scottish 
dialect  ;  but  it  is  especially  singular,  and  quite  confirmatory  of 
the  prophecy  of  Lord  Cockburn,  that,  among  our  own  friends, 
we  have  those  from  Auld  Reekie  who  are  quite  unable  to  follow 
the  course  of  his  dialogue,  or  to  enter  into  the  meaning  of 
many  of  his  Scotch  words  ;  indeed,  we  have  heard  some  of 
them  say  that  "  George  McDonald  is  more  Scotch  than  the 
Scotch." 

The  humors  of  the  Scottish  language  are  among  the  most  in- 
teresting suggestions  on  the  subject  ;  take  the  word  soft,  for 
instance,  as  applied  to  the  weather. 

"  A  drizzling  morning,  good  madam,"  says  Mr.  Touchwood 
to  Mrs.  Dodds,  in  "St.  Ronan's  Well." 

"  A  fine  soft  morning  for  the  crap,  sir,"  answered  Mrs. 
Dodds. 

"  Right,  my  good  madam,  soft  is  the  very  word,  though  it 
has  been  sometime  since  I  heard  it.  I  have  cast  a  double  hank 
round  the  world  since  I  last  heard  of  a  soft  morning."  It  is 
only  in  the  Scottish  dialect  that  this  epithet  if  used  to  express 
•weather  which  the  barometer  calls  rainy. 

Pig,  in  old-fashioned  Scotch,  was  a  term  always  used  for  a 
coarse  earthenware  jar,  or  vessel  ;  the  story  is  well  known  of 
the  good-natured  chambermaid,  who  said  to  an  English  lady 
who  had  lately  arrived  in  Scotland  for  the  first  time  in  her  life, 
"  Would  you  like  a  het  crock  in  your  bed,  this  cauld  nicht, 
mem  ?"  "  A  what  ?"  said  the  lady.  "  A  pig,  mem.  Shall 
I  put  a  pig  in  your  bed  to  keep  you  warm?"  "  Leave  the 
room,  young  woman  !  Your  mistress  shall  hear  of  your  inso- 
lence."  "  Nae  offence,  I  hope,  mem.  It  was  my  mistress 
that  bade  me  ask,  and  I'm  sure  she  meant  it  in  kindness." 
The  lady  looked  Grizzy  in  the  face,  and  saw  at  a  glance 
that  no  insult  was  intended  ;  but  she  was  quite  at  a  loss  how  to 
account  for  the  proposal.  She  was  aware  that  Irish  children 
sleep  with  pigs  on  the  earthen  floors  of  their  cabins,  but  this 
was  something  far  more  astonishing.  Her  curiosity  was  now 
roused,  and  she  said  in  a  milder  tone,  "Is  it  common  in  this 


THE   HUMOUS   OF  THE   SCOTTISH    DIALECT.  109 

country,  my  girl,  for  ladies  to  have  pigs  in  their  beds  ?" 
"  And  gentlemen  hae  them  too,  mem,  when  the  weather's 
cauld. "  "  But  you  surely  would  not  put  the  pig  between  the 
sheets?" 

"  If  you  please,  mem,  it  would  do  you  maist  good  there." 
"  Between  the  sheets  !  It  would  dirty  them,  girl.  I  could 
never  sleep  with  a  pig  between  the  sheets."  "  Never  fear, 
mem  !  You'll  sleep  far  inair  comfortable.  I'll  steek  the  mouth 
o'  't  tightly,  and  tie  it  up  in  a  poke."  "  Do  you  sleep  with  a 
pig  yourself  in  cold  weather?"  "  No,  mem  ;  pigs  are  only 
for  gentlefolks  that  lie  on  feather  beds.  I  sleep  on  cauf  (chaff 
in  sacking)  with  my  neighbor- lass. "  "  Calf?  Do  you  sleep 
with  a  calf  between  you  ?"  said  the  Cockney  lady.  "  No, 
mem  ;  you're  jokin  now,"  said  Grizzy  ;  "  we  lie  on  the  tap 
o'  't." 

A  recent  poet,  Robert  Leighton — now  no  more — has  put  the 
difficulties  of  the  Scottish  dialect  into  very  pleasant  verse, 
which,  to  our  readers,  will  also  have  the  advantage  of  explain- 
ing what  it  humorously  describes. 

"  They  speak  in  riddles  north,  beyond  the  Tweed, 
The  plain  pure  English  they  can  deftly  read  ; 
Yet  when  without  the  book  they  come  to  speak, 
Their  lingo  seems  half  English  and  half  Greek. 
Their  jaws  are  chafls  ;  their  hands,  when  closed,  are  neives  ; 
Their  bread's  not  cnt  in  slices  but  in  sheires  ; 
Their  armpits  are  their  oxters  ,•  palms  are  Inifj  ; 
Their  men  are  cliields  ;  their  timid  fools  are  cuiffs  ; 
Their  lads  are  ca.Ua.nts,  and  their  women  kimmers  ; 
Good  lasses  denty  queans,  and  bad  ones  limmers. 
They  thole  when  they  endure,  scart  when  they  scratch  ; 
And  when  they  give  a  sample  it's  a  swatch  ; 
Scolding  \xflytin,  and  a  long  palaver 
Is  nothing  but  a  blither  or  a  haver  ; 
This  room  they  call  the  but  and  that  the  ben, 
And  what  they  do  not  know  they  dinna  ken  ; 
On  keen  cold  days  they  say  the  wind  blaws  snell, 
And  they  have  words  that  Johnson  could  not  spell. 
To  crack  is  to  converse,  the  lift's  the  sky  ; 


110  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

And  bairns  are  said  to  greet  when  children  cry  ; 

When  lost  folk  ever  ask  the  way  they  want 

They  speir  the  gate ;  and  when  they  yawn  they  gaunt ; 

Beetle  with  them  is  dock  ;  a  flame's  a  lowe; 

Then  straw  is  strae;  chaff  caw/,  and  hollow  howe; 

A  mickle  means  a  few  ;  muckle  is  big  ; 

A  piece  of  croekeryware  is  called  a  pig." 

Such  is  the  Scottish  language  or  dialect ;  as  Lord  Brougham 
aud  Mr.  Latham  have  both  maintained,  a  sister,  not  a  daughter 
of  the  English  language,  by  which  concession  of  sisterhood,  not 
childhood,  we  trust  we  have  made  amends  for  what  may  seem 
the  improper  use  of  the  word  dialect.  Mr.  Latham  says  that 
"  in  Lowland  Scotch  there  are  a  number  of  words  which, 
though  Teutonic,  were  never  Anglo-Saxon  ;  a  large  portion 
were  introduced  directly  from  France. ' '  The  dialect  partakes 
largely  of  the  Danish  or  Norwegian  element,  and,  no  doubt,  it 
is  from  the  Scandinavian  branch  of  the  Teutonic  stem  that  what 
we  now  incorrectly  call  the  Scottish  people  have  their  essential 
origin.  It  is  therefore  no  paradox  to  maintain  that  the  person 
we  call  a  Scot  is  usually  no  Scot  at  all. 

No  doubt  the  power  of  the  Scottish  language  is  very  largely 
in  its  strong  and  earnest  accent  ;  there  is  an  old  and  singular 
illustration  of  this,  and  we  must  give  it  here.  It  has  been 
said,  that  the  Scottish  dialect  is  peculiarly  powerful  in  its  use 
of  vowels,  and  the  following  dialogue,  between  a  shopman  and 
a  customer,  has  been  given  as  a  specimen.  The  conversation 
relates  to  a  plaid  hanging  at  the  shop  door. 

Ous.  (inquiring  the  material).  —  Oo  ?  (wool). 

Shop. — Ay,  oo,  (yes,  of  wool). 

CMS.  (touching  the  plaid). — A'  oo  ?  (all  wool). 

Shop. — Ay,  a'  oo  (yes,  all  wool). 

Cus. — A'  ae  oo  ?  (all  same  wool). 

Shop.  — Ay,  a'  ae  oo  (yes,  all  same  wool). 

Hence  it  is  that  such  odd  and  incomprehensible  mistakes  are 
made  by  the  English  as  they  listen,  altogether  unable  to  appre- 
hend Scotch  words.  We  read  of  a  stranger  amazed  in  listening 


THE    HUMOUS    OF   TIIK    SCOTTISH    DIALECT.  Ill 

to  a  minister,  who,  intending  to  inculcate  on  his  congregation 
the  propriety  of  receiving  a  hint  properly,  did  it  by  saying 
"  My  friends,  be  ready  at  all  times  to  take  a  hunt  f"  Another 
was  quite  perplexed  when  told  at  a  party  in  Scotland  that  all  the 
guests  were  "Kent  people,"  the  phrase  not  meaning  to  imply 
that  they  were,  as  he  supposed,  all  from  the  county  of  Kent, 
but  that  they  were  all  well-known  personages.  How  very  odd 
it  is  to  hear  a  sore  or  painful  affection  of  any  part  of  the  body 
called  an  "  income  /"  Miss  Sinclair  tells  of  an  old  woman  who 
came  to  her  begging,  with  a  most  pitiable  countenance,  because 
she  had  a  great  "  income"  in  her  hand. 

A  legacy  to  any  charitable  fund  or  institution  is  called  : 
mortification  ;  and  a  very  benevolent  person  was  heard  to  ex 
press  himself  with  great  gratification  because  the  Blind  Asy- 
lum had  received  a  great  mortification  from  Mr.  Angus's  will. 
If  a  Scotch  person  says,  "  Will  you  speak  a  word  to  me  1"  he 
means,  "  Will  you  listen  ?"  But  if  he  says  to  a  servant,  "  I 
am  about  to  give  you  a  good  hearing,"  that  means  a  severe 
scolding.  Scotticisms  have  been  detected  in  some  of  the  most 
classical  of  Scottish  writers.  It  is  singular  to  hear  one  say, 
"Take" — that  is,  shut — "  the  door  after  you  ;"  or  another, 
"  She  looks  very  silly" — that  is,  weakly  in  body.  To  hear  it 
said  of  a  thing  that  it  is  "  out  of  sight  the  best,"  means  that  it 
is  "  out  and  out."  To  be  told  always  to  change  your  feet  (that 
is,  "  your  shoes  and  stockings")  after  walking.  "To  be  going 
seventeen"  is  to  be  in  the  seventeenth  year.  "He  has  fallen 
thro1  his  clothes"  is  a  way  of  saying  that  he  has  grown  thin, 
and  that  his  clothes  do  not  fit  him.  We  read,  "He  sat  down 
on  his  knees."  ''''Well  on  to  fifty"  is  almost,  or  well-nigh, 
fifty  ;  and  it  is  consistent  with  the  Scottish  language  to  speak 
of  sparks  or  bespatterings  of  water.  While  at  takes  the  place 
of  with,  for,  or  to — as,  to  be  angry  at,  sorry  at,  or  to  ask  at, 
and  so  to  feel  hatred  at  or  dislike  at,  instead  of  against.  These 
illustrations  might  be  carried  on  to  any  extent,  but  it  is  enough 
to  show  that  they  often  give  some  perplexity  in  understanding 
the  dialect.  Of  course  the  difficulties  of  comprehension  in- 


112  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

crease  as  we  find  ourselves  in  more  remote  and  untrodden  dis- 
tricts ;  but  they  are  certainly  not  greater,  while  they  are  exactly 
of  the  same  character  as  those  which  might  meet  some  traveller 
in  an  out-of-the-way  village  of  Lancashire  or  the  West  Riding 
of  Yorkshire.  In  an  admirable  and  entertaining  paper  in 
Blackwood's  Magazine  for  1842,  on  the  "  Fishers  of  the  South- 
east Coast  of  Scotland,"  we  read  of  a  stranger  who  had  occa- 
sion to  call  on  a  fisherman,  living  in  one  of  the  Buchan  fishing 
villages,  named  Alexander  White,  but  he  was  ignorant  both  of 
his  house  and  his  tee,  or  mark,  or,  as  perhaps  we  should  say, 
his  "  nickname,"  and  unfortunately  there  were  many  persons 
of  the  same  name  in  the  village.  Meeting  a  girl,  he  asked, 
"Could  you  tell  me  fa'  Sanny  Fite  lives?"  "Fiek  (i.e. 
young)  Sanny  Fite  ?"  "Muckle  (big)  Sanny  Fite."  "Fiek 
muckle  Sanny  Fite?"  "Muckle  lang  Sanny  Fite."  "Fiek 
muckle  lang  Sanny  Fite  ?"  "Muckle  lang,  gleyed  (squinting) 
Sanny  Fite."  "  Oh  !  it's  Goup  the  lift  ye're  seeking,"  cried 
the  girl  ;  "  and  fat  for  dinna  ye  speer  for  the  man  by  his  richt 
name  at  ance  ?"  But  this  is  from  the  Highlands.  The  diffi- 
culties from  the  Lowlands  would,  perhaps,  be  as  great. 

One  of  the  most  curious  illustrations  of  the  Scottish  language 
recently  published  is  a  volume  little  known,  entitled,  "  The 
Psalms  :  frae  Hebrew  until  Scottis,  by  P.  Hately  Waddell, 
LL.D."  Whosoever  is  able  to  read  this  will  find  all  the  rich, 
human,  and  perhaps  even,  in  such  a  connection,  we  may  be 
permitted  to  say,  the  humorsome  characteristics  of  the  lan- 
guage. Take  two  or  three  instances.  Thus,  "  Touch  the 
mountains,  and  they  shall  smoke,"  is  literally  rendered,  "  Tang 
but  the  heights,  an'  they'll  reek  !"  and,  "  He  delighteth  not  in 
the  strength  of  the  horse  ;  He  taketh  not  pleasure  in  the  legs 
of  a  man,"  is  rendered,  "  He  cares  nane  for  the  strength o*  the 
aiver  ;  likes  as  little  the  shanks  o'  the  carl."  But  our  readers 
will  perhaps  like  to  see  a  more  extended  illustration  ;  and  here, 
then,  is  the  23d  Psalm,  and  we  think  it  will  be  scarcely  possi- 
ble to  read  it  without  feeling  its  frequent  beauty  tnd  literalness 
of  expression  : 


THE   HUMORS   OF  THE   SCOTTISH   DIALECT.  113 

"  The  Lord  is  my  herd  ;  nae  want  sal  fa'  me. 

"  He  louts  me  till  he  amang  green  howes  ;  He  airts  me 
atowye  by  the  lown  waters. 

"  He  waukens  my  wa'-gaen  saul  ;  He  weises  me  rown,  for 
His  ain  name's  sake,  intil  right  roddins. 

"  Na  !  tho'  I  gang  thro'  the  dead-mirk-dail  ;  e'en  thar  sal  I 
dread  nae  skaithin  ;  for  yersel  are  nar-by  me  ;  yer  stok  an'  yer 
stay  hand  me  baith  fu'  cheerie. 

"  My  buird  ye  hae  hansell'd  in  face  o'  my  faes  ;  ye  hae 
drookit  my  head  wi'  oyle  ;  my  bicker  is/«'  an'  skailin. 

"E'en  sae  sal  gude  guidin  an'  gude  gree  gang  wi'  me,  ilk 
day  o'  ray  livin  ;  an'  evir  mair  syne,  i'  the  Lord's  ain  howff, 
at  lang  last,  sal  I  mak  bydan." 

Another  illustration  or  two  may  be  given  as  furnishing  a 
pleasant  key  to  idiomatic  Scotch.  Here  are  the  first  two 
verses  of  the  103d  Psalm  "  My  saul,  ye  maun  blythe-bid  the 
Lord  ;  and  a*  in  mysel,  that  name  o'  His  ain  sae  halie  :  my 
saul,  ye  maun  blythe-bid  the  Lord,  an'  forget  na'  His  gates,  a' 
sae  kindly."  And  equally  characteristic  the  first  three  of  the 
104th  :  "  My  saul,  ye  maun  blythe-bid  the  Lord  :  Lord  God 
o'  my  ain,  sae  grand  as  ye  hain  ;  gloiry  an'  gree  ye  put  on. 
Light  ye  dight  on  like  a  cleuk  ;  the  lift,  like  a  hingin',  ye 
streck  ;  stoopin  his  banks  on  the  fludes  ;  ettlin  his  carriage  the 
cluds  ;  on  the  wings  o'  the  win'  makin'  speed." 

The  study  of  the  Scottish  dialect,  however  it  may  seem  to 
be  fading  from  use,  would  well  repay  the  student,  who  would 
find  his  language  enriched  by  some  fine  monosyllabic  words, 
and  graced  by  expressive  compound  epithets  ;  but  this  is  be- 
yond the  purpose  of  these  slight  sketches. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND   LAW   COURTS. 

THE  spirit  of  litigation,  it  is  well  known,  is  peculiarly  char- 
acteristic of  Scotland,  and  this  being  so,  it  is  not  wonderful 
that  some  of  the  most  striking  characteristics  of  Scottish  humor 
should  pertain  to  the  law  courts,  especially  to  the  law  courts  of 
the  times  of  old.  Perhaps  the  most  entertaining  passages  of 
Lord  Cockburn's  Memorials  are  his  memories  of  the  law  lords. 
Belonging  to  this  race  there  were  several  characteristically  emi- 
nent, and  some  as  characteristically  odd.  David  Rae,  Lord 
Eskgrove,  for  a  long  time  the  head  of  criminal  law  in  Scotland, 
could  have  had  few  who  exceeded  him  in  oddity  ;  thus,  when- 
ever addressing  a  jury,  if  a  name  could  be  pronounced  in  more 
ways  than  one,  he  gave  them  all.  Syllable  he  always  called 
sy]\abill,  and  whenever  a  word  ended  with  the  letter  "  G, "  the 
letter  was  pronounced,  and  strongly  so.  He  crowded  his 
speech  with  a  meaningless  succession  of  adjectives.  The  article 
"A"  was  generally  made  into  one,  and  he  would  describe  a 
good  man,  for  instance,  as  "  one  excelled,  and  worthy,  and 
amiabill,  and  SLgreeabill,  and  very  good  man.'' 

The  stories  Cockburn  tells  of  him  are  ridiculous.  "  I  heard 
him,"  says  Cockburn,  "  condemning  a  tailor  to  death  for  mur- 
dering a  soldier  by  stabbing  him  ;  he  addressed  him  thus  : 
'  And  not  only  did  you  murder  him,  whereby  he  was  berea-weo? 
of  his  life,  but  you  did  thrust,  or  push,  or  pierce,  or  project, 
or  propel  the  lethal  weapon  through  the  belly-band  of  his  regi- 
men-tal  breeches,  which  were  his  majesty's  '  !" 

The  following  story  is  well  known.  lu  the  trial  of  Glen- 
garry, for  murder  in  a  duel,  a  lady  of  great  beauty  was  called 
as  a  witness  :  she  came  into  court  veiled,  but,  before  adminis- 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    ANO    LAW    COURTS.    115 

tering  the  oath,  Eskgrove  expounded  to  her  the  nature  of  her 
duty  as  a  witness.  "  Youny^  woman  !  You  will  now  con- 
sider yourself  as  in  the  presence  of  the  Almighty,  and  of  this 
high  court  ;  lift  up  your  veil,  throw  off  all  modesty,  and  look 
me  full  in  the  face  !"  He  had  to  condemn  two  or  three  per- 
sons to  death  for  housebreaking  ;  he  first,  as  usual,  explained 
the  nature  of  the  various  crimes,  assault,  robbery,  and  hame- 
sucken,  giving  to  the  prisoners  the  etymology  of  the  words  ;  he 
then  reminded  them  that  they  had  attacked  the  house,  and  the 
persons  within  it,  and  robbed  them  ;  and  then  he  wound  up 
with  this  climax  :  "  All  this  you  did — just  when  they  were 
sittin'  doon  to  their  denner  !" 

He  never  failed  to  signalize  himself  in  pronouncing  sentences 
of  death,  and  it  was  his  style  to  console  the  prisoner  thus  : 
"  Whatever  your  rcligi-ows  persua-fo'o»  may  be,  or  even  if,  as 
I  suppose,  you  be  of  no  persua-to'on  at  all,  there  are  plenty  of 
rever-end  gentle-men  who  will  be  most  happy  for  to  show  you 
the  way  to  yeternal  life."  Cockburn  says  a  common  arrange- 
ment of  his  logic  to  juries  was  this  :  "  And  so,  gentle-men, 
having  shown  you  that  the  pannel's  argument  is  utterly  imposs- 
ibill,  I  shall  now  proceed  for  to  show  you  that  it  is  extremely 
impTob-abill. "  His  entertaining  memorialist  says  his  tedious- 
ness  of  manner  and  matter  in  charging  juries  was  most  dread- 
ful ;  it  was,  indeed,  usual  for  the  juries  to  stand  while  the 
judge  was  charging  them,  but  no  other  judge  was  punctilious 
about  it ;  and  sometimes,  perhaps  usually,  beneath  the  dis- 
course of  this  tedious  old  oddity,  some  one  would  sink  into  a 
seat,  from  sheer  inability  to  stand  any  longer,  but  the  unfort- 
unate wight  was  sure  to  be  reminded  by  his  lordship  that 
"  these  were  not  times  in  which  there  should  be  any  disrespect 
.of  this  high  court,  or  even  of  the  law."  "  Often,"  says  Cock- 
burn,  "  have  I  gone  back  to  the  court  at  midnight  and  found 
him,  whom  I  had  left  mumbling  hours  before,  still  going  on, 
with  the  smoky,  unsnuffed  tallow  candks  in  greasy  tin-candle- 
sticks, and  the  poor  despairing  jurymen,  most  of  the  audience 
having  retired  or  being  asleep,  the  wagging  of  his  lordship's 


110  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

nose  and  chin  being  the  chief  signs  that  he  was  still  charg-lng." 
It  is  said  he  was  the  staple  of  public  conversation  ;  and  his 
oddities,  so  long  as  his  old  age  lasted,  almost  drove  Napoleon 
himself  out  of  the  talk  of  the  Edinburgh  world. 

One  of  these  late  law  lords,  whose  irritable  disposition,  eccen- 
tricities, and  facetiousness  have  been  so  aptly  portrayed  by  the 
author  of  the  "  Scrap  Book,"  in  his  story  of  The  Man,  had 
his  natural  propensities  called  into  action  on  another  occasion, 
when  presiding  in  a  criminal  court  in  the  north.  A  trial, 
where  life  and  death  were  at  stake,  was  proceeding  with  that 
solemnity  which  distinguishes  the  Scottish  justiciary  courts 
over  those  of  their  neighbors,  when  a  wag  (for  there  are  some 
characters  who  must  have  their  joke,  however  solemn  the  occa- 
sion) entered  the  court,  and  set  a  musical  snuff-box  a-playing 
"  Jack's  Alive"  upon  one  of  the  benches.  In  the  silence  of 
conducting  the  inquiry,  the  music  struck  the  ear  of  the  audi- 
ence, and  particularly  the  venerable  judge,  whose  auricular 
organ  was  to  the  last  most  admirably  acute  ;  and  a  pause  to  the 
business  was  the  immediate  consequence.  He  stared  for  an 
instant  at  a  sound  so  unusual  in  a  court  of  justice,  and  with  a 
frantic  demeanor  exclaimed,  "  Macer,  what,  in  the  name  of 
God,  is  that  ?"  The  officer  looked  round  him  in  vain  to 
answer  the  inquiry,  when  the  wag  exclaimed,  "  It's  '  Jack's 
Alive,'  my  lord."  "  Dead  or  alive,  put  him  out  this  mo- 
ment." "  We  canna  grup  him,  my  lord."  "If  he  has  the 
art  of  hell,  let  every  man  assist  to  arraign  him  before  me,  that 
I  may  commit  him  for  this  outrage  and  contempt."  Every 
one  endeavored  to  discover  the  author  of  the  annoyance,  but 
he  had  put  the  check  upon  the  box,  when  the  sound  for  a  time 
ceased,  and  the  macer  informed  his  lordship  that  the  person  had 
escaped.  The  judge  was  indignant  at  this,  but  not  being  able 
to  make  any  better  of  it,  the  trial  proceeded,  when,  in  about 
half  an  hour,  sounds  of  music  again  caught  the  ears  of  the 
court.  "Is  he  there  again  ?"  exclaimed  his  lordship.  "  By 
all  that's  sacred,  if  he  shall  escape  me  this  time  !  fence,  bolt, 
bar  the  doors  of  the  court,  and  at  your  peril,  let  a  man,  living 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND    LAW    COURTS.     117 

or  dead,  escape."  All  was  now  bustle,  uproar,  and  confu- 
sion ;  but  the  search  was  equally  vain  as  before.  His  lordship, 
who  had  lived  not  long  after  the  days  of  witchcraft,  began  to 
imagine  that  the  sound  was  something  more  than  earthly,  and 
exclaimed,  "This  is  deceptio  auris ;  it  is  absolute  delusion, 
necromancy,  phantasmagoria  ;"  and  to  the  hour  of  his  death 
never  understood  what  had  occasioned  the  annoyance  that  day 
to  the  court. 

There  were  many  of  these  men  odd  in  different  ways.  Eng- 
lish judges  have  been  supposed  to  reserve  their  queer  character- 
istics of  manner,  style,  and  matter,  for  the  private  and  con- 
vivial circle  ;  but,  in  the  old  times,  the  law  lords  of  Edinburgh 
seem  to  have  flaunted  theirs  freely  from  the  chair  of  justice. 
Their  speeches  were  frequently  freaks,  which,  however,  in- 
vested with  the  dignity  of  law,  kept  the  court  and  the  city  in  a 
wondering  roar  of  laughter.  Jeffrey  used  to  mention — Cock- 
burn  does  not  mention  it — that  one  day  Cockburn  bounced  into 
the  second  division,  and  came  out  again.  Running  up  against 
Jeffrey,  "  Do  you  see  any  paleness  about  my  face  ?"  said 
Cockburn.  "  No,"  replied  Jeffrey  ;  "  I  hope  you  are  not  un- 
well ?"  "  I  don't  know,  but  I've  just  heard  Bolus  [the  irrev- 
erent designation  of  the  Lord  Justice  Clerk]  say,  '  I  for  one  am 
of  opinion  that  this  case  is  founded  on  the  fundamental  basis 
of  a  quadrilateral  contract,  of  which  the  four  sides  are  aglutin- 
ated  by  adhesion.'  After  that,"  said  Jeffrey,  "I  think  we 
had  better  go  home." 

Famous  among  the  Edinburgh  legal  notabilities  was  John 
Clerk,  of  Eldin.  He  possessed  a  very  coarse  humor  ;  it  has 
been  said  that  what  in  other  men  was  sugar  in  character,  in 
him  became  crystallized  vinegar.  It  was  of  him  the  story  was 
told  that  he  had  been  dipping  deeply  into  convivialities  with  a 
friend  in  Queen  Street,  and  coming  out  into  the  open  air,  early 
in  the  morning,  he  was  quite  confused,  and  unable  to  tell  the 
way  to  his  own  house  in  Picardy  Place.  He  saw  an*  industri- 
ous housemaid  cleaning  a  doorstep,  and  went  up  to  her,  saying, 
"Eh,  my  girl,  can  ye  tell  me  where  John  Clerk  lives?" 


118  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  Dinna  speer  at  me,"  says  the  girl,  "  with  your  nonsense, 
when  you're  John  Clerk  himsel'  !"  "  Ay,  ay,"  said  he,  "  I 
ken  that  vera  weel,  but  John  Clerk  wants  to  know  where  John 
Clerk  lives." 

The  traditional  stories  of  his  eccentricities  are  innumerable, 
and  if  only  these  had  been  preserved  we  might  wonder  at  the 
respect  paid  to  his  memory.  But,  fortunately,  we  have  his 
character  portrayed  by  Lord  Cockburn,  who  is  far  more  than 
equal  to  Dean  Ramsay  in  his  graphic  sketches  of  Scottish  life 
and  manners.  He  describes  John  Clerk  as  a  person  whose  con- 
ditions in  repose  and  in  action,  that  is,  in  his  private  and  in  his 
professional  life,  almost  amounted  to  the  possession  of  two 
natures. 

A  contracted  limb,  which  made  him  pitch  when  he  walked, 
and  only  admitted  of  his  standing  erect  by  hanging  it  in  the 
air,  added  to  the  peculiarity  of  a  figure  with  which  so  many 
other  ideas  of  oddity  were  connected.  Blue  eyes,  very  bushy 
eyebrows,  coarse  grizzly  hair,  always  in  disorder,  and  firm 
projecting  features,  made  his  face  and  head  not  unlike  that  of 
a  thoroughbred  shaggy  terrier.  It  was  a  countenance  of  great 
thought  and  great  decision. 

Had  his  judgment  been  equal  to  his  talent,  few  powerful 
men  could  have  stood  before  him.  For  he  had  a  strong,  work- 
ing, independent,  ready  head — which  had  been  improved  by 
various  learning,  extending  beyond  his  profession  into  the 
fields  of  general  literature,  and  into  the  arts  of  painting  and 
sculpture.  Honest,  warm-hearted,  generous  and  simple,  he 
was  a  steady  friend,  and  of  the  most  touching  affection  in  all 
the  domestic  relations.  The  whole  family  was  deeply  marked 
by  a  hereditary  caustic  humor,  and  none  of  its  members  more 
so  than  he. 

These  excellences,  however,  were  affected  by  certain  peculi- 
arities or  habits,  which  segregated  him  from  the  whole  human 
race.  Among  these  peculiarities  was  his  temper,  which,  how- 
ever serene  when  torpid,  was  never  trained  to  submission,  and 
could  rise  into  fierceness  when  chafed. 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    1AWYKKS    AND    LAW    COUNTS.     310 

Of  course  it  was  chafed  every  moment  at  the  bar,  and,  ac- 
cordingly, it  was  there  that  his  other  and  inferior  nature  ap- 
peared. Every  consideration  was  lost  in  eagerness  for  the 
client,  whose  merit  lay  in  this,  that  he  has  relied  upon  me, 
John  Clerk.  Nor  was  his  the  common  zeal  of  a  counsel.  It 
was  a  passion.  He  did  not  take  his  fee,  plead  the  cause  well, 
hear  the  result,  and  have  done  with  it  ;  but  gave  the  client  his 
temper,  his  perspiration,  his  nights,  his  reason,  his  whole  body 
and  soul,  and  very  often  the  fee  to  boot.  His  real  superiority 
lay  in  his  legal  learning  and  his  hard  reasoning.  But  he  would 
have  been  despicable  in  his  own  sight  had  he  reasoned  without 
defying  and  insulting  the  adversary  and  the  unfavorable 
judges  ;  the  last  of  whom  he  always  felt  under  a  special  call  to 
abuse,  because  they  were  not  merely  obstructing  justice,  but 
thwarting  him.  His  whole  session  was  one  keen  and  truceless 
conflict,  in  which  more  irritating  matter  was  introduced  than 
could  have  been  ventured  upon  by  any  one  except  himself, 
whose  character  was  known,  and  whose  intensity  was  laughed 
at  as  one  of  the  shows  of  the  court. 

His  popularity  was  increased  by  his  oddities.  Even  in  the 
midst  of  his  frenzies  he  was  always  introducing  some  original 
and  quaint  humor  ;  so  that  there  are  few  of  the  lights  of  the 
court  of  whom  more  sayings  and  stories  are  prevalent. 

Lord  Braxfield  has  left  a  name  for  heartless  severity  as  a 
judge.  It  was  he  of  whom  we  read  in  Lockhart's  Life  of 
Scott,  who  addressed  some  eloquent  culprit  at  the  bar,  "  Ye're 
a  vera  clever  chiel,  man,  but  ye'll  be  none  the  worse  for  hang- 
ing." It  is  said  that  it  may  be  doubted  if  he  was  ever  so  much 
in  his  element  as  when  vauntingly  repelling  the  last  despairing 
claim  of  a  wretched  culprit,  and  sending  him  to  Botany  Bay 
or  the  gallows,  with  an  insulting  jest,  over  which  he  would 
chuckle  the  more  from  observing  that  correct  people  were 
shocked.  He  had  a  pleasant  and  humorous  maxim,  which  he 
often  repeated,  and  attempted  as  far  as  possible  to  practise — 
"  Hang,"  he  would  say,  "  a  thief  when  he  is  young,  and  he'll 
no  steal  when  he  is  auld."  His  character,  as  judged  by  his 


120  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

language,  seems  to  have  been  indecent  and  detestable.  His 
conduct  in  the  political  trials  of  that  time,  especially  of  Muir, 
Palmer,  and  the  early  advocates  of  reform,  could  not  have  been 
surpassed  by  the  notorious  Judge  Jeffries. 

While  Lord  Coalstoun  lived  in  a  house  in  the  Advocates' 
Close,  Edinburgh,  a  strange  accident  one  morning  befell  him. 
It  was  at  that  time  the  custom  for  advocates  and  judges  to 
dress  themselves  in  gowns,  and  wigs,  and  cravats,  at  their  own 
houses,  and  walk  to  the  Parliament  House.  They  usually 
breakfasted  early,  and,  when  dressed,  were  in  the  habit  of 
leaning  over  their  parlor  windows  for  a  few  minutes,  before  St. 
Giles's  bell  started  the  sounding  peal  of  a  quarter  to  nine, 
enjoying  the  agreeable  morning  air,  and  perhaps  discussing  the 
news  of  the  day.  It  so  happened  one  morning,  while  Lord 
Coalstoun  was  preparing  to  enjoy  his  matutinal  treat,  two  girls, 
who  lived  in  the  second  flat  above,  were  amusing  themselves 
with  a  kitten,  which,  in  thoughtless  sport,  they  had  swung 
over  the  window,  by  a  cord  tied  round  its  middle,  and  hoisted 
for  some  time  up  and  down,  till  the  creature  was  getting  rather 
desperate  with  its  exertions.  His  lordship  had  just  popped  his 
head  out  of  the  window  directly  below  that  from  which  the 
kitten  swung,  little  suspecting,  good  easy  man,  what  a  danger 
impended,  like  the  sword  of  Damocles,  over  his  head  ;  when 
down  came  the  exasperated  animal  at  full  career,  directly  upon 
his  senatorial  wig.  No  sooner  did  the  girls  perceive  what  sort 
of  landing-place  their  kitten  had  found,  than  in  terror  or  sur- 
prise they  began  to  draw  it  up  ;  but  this  measure  was  now  too 
late,  for,  along  with  the  animal,  up  also  came  the  judge's  wig, 
fixed  full  in  its  determined  talons.  His  lordship's  surprise,  on 
finding  his  wig  lifted  off  his  head,  was  ten  thousand  times 
redoubled,  when,  on  looking  up,  he  perceived  it  dangling  in 
its  way  upward,  without  any  means  visible  to  him  by  which  its 
motion  might  be  accounted  for.  The  astonishment,  the  dread, 
the  awe  almost  of  the  senator  below — the  half-mirth,  half-terror 
of  the  girls  above — together  with  the  fierce  and  retentive 
energy  of  puss  between — altogether  formed  a  scene  to  which 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND    LAW    COURTS.     121 

language  cannot  do  justice,  but  which  George  Cruikshank 
might  perhaps  embody  with  considerable  effect.  It  was  a  joke 
soon  explained  and  pardoned  ;  but  assuredly  the  perpetrators 
of  it  did  afterward  get  many  a  lengthened  injunction  from  their 
parents,  never  again  to  fish  over  the  window  with  such  a  bait, 
for  honest  men's  wigs. 

If  not  of  Clerk,  it  was  of  one  of  the  advocates  of  the  same 
day  and  the  same  order,  that  it  was  said  his  opinion  was  ex- 
actly measured  out  in  proportion  to  his  fee  ;  and,  one  day, 
•vhile  dictating  to  his  clerk,  he  suddenly  stopped.  "  By  the 
bye,  Sandy,"  said  he,  "what  was  the  fee  in  this  case?" 
"  Two  guineas, "  was  the  answer.  "Two  guineas!  Ay,  is 
that  it,  man,  why  didna  ye  tell  me  that  sooner  ?  Go  on  to  the 
next  case. "  Vivid  in  all  Scottish  delineations,  it  is  not  sur- 
prising that  we  find  such  pictures  of  the  old  lawyers  and  the 
law  courts  in  the  pages  of  Scott  ;  it  was  Scott's  own  life  ;  he 
was  a  Writer  to  the  Signet,  and  he  is  careful  to  let  us  know 
that  his  portraits  of  advocates,  like  Protocol  and  Pleydell,  and 
their  unfortunate  litigants  and  clients,  like  Peter  Peebles,  are 
all  memories  drawn  from  the  life  ;  nor  less  those  roystering 
descriptions  of  the  convivial  habits  of  the  Scottish  bar.  The 
passion  for  litigation,  which  really  left  the  advocate  with 
scarcely  a  choice  of  his  own,  is  well  realized  in  the  determina- 
tion of  Dandy  Dinmont,  against  all  advice  whatever,  to  "  ding 
Jock  o'  Dawstowcleugh." 

Such  were  some  of  the  great  lawyers  of  Edinburgh  at  the 
early  part  of  the  present  century. 

Sir  Walter  Scott  appears  usually  to  have  drawn  his  more 
prominent  and  remarkable  characters  from  personages  tolerably 
well  known.  Paul  Pleydell  is  identified  in  the  celebrated  Mr. 
Crosbie,  who  flourished  for  many  years  at  the  head  of  the  Bar, 
and  was  highly  respected  for  his  integrity  and  his  abilities. 
He  frequented  the  Clerihugh's,  a  respectable  house  in  Anchor 
Close  ;  there,  on  Saturday  evenings,  it  was  the  wont  of  mem- 
bers, both  of  the  Bar  and  Bench,  to  regale  themselves  with 
tripe  and  minced  collops,  which  were  served  up  at  the  moder- 


122  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

ate  charge  of  sixpence  a  head  ;  and  after  this  a  bacchanalian 
festivity  was  carried  on  through  the  night.  His  more  favorite 
place  during  the  day  was  John's  Coffee-room  ;  this  was  a  great 
resort  of  gentlemen  of  the  Bar  ;  and  here,  over  a  gill  of  brandy 
and  a  bunch  of  raisins,  technically  called  "  a  cock  and  feather," 
it  was  the  wont  to  fee  counsel.  A  practical  joke  was  played 
off  upon  Mr.  Crosbie  by  the  celebrated  Lord  Gardenstone, 
who,  in  the  course  of  a  walk  from  Morningside,  where  he  lived, 
met  a  rustic  going  to  Edinburgh,  in  order  to  be  present  at  the 
pleading  of  a  cause  in  which  he  was  deeply  interested  as  a 
principal,  and  in  which  Mr.  Crosbie  had  been  retained  as  coun- 
sel. His  Lordship  directed  the  man  to  get  a  dozen  or  two  of 
farthings  at  a  snuff-shop  in  the  Grassmarket,  to  wrap  them  up 
separately  in  white  paper,  as  if  they  were  so  many  guineas, 
and  to  present  them,  as  the  occasion  served,  in  the  capacity  of 
fees.  The  counsel,  who  did  not  happen  to  be  very  warmly 
animated  with  his  client's  case,  frequently  suffered  his  elo- 
quence to  droop,  to  the  imminent  danger  of  being  non-suited. 
His  wary  client,  however,  who  had  posted  himself  close  to  his 
back,  ever  and  anon,  as  he  found  the  cadence  of  his  voice  has- 
tening to  a  full-stop,  for  the  purpose  of  winding  up  the  argu- 
ment, slipped  another  farthing  into  his  hand.  These  repeated 
applications  of  the  wrapped-up  farthings  so  powerfully  stimu- 
lated Mr.  Crosbie's  exertions,  that  he  strained  every  nerve  in 
grateful  zeal  for  the  interests  of  his  treacherous  client  ;  and, 
precisely  as  the  fourteenth  farthing  was  passing  into  his  coun- 
sel's hand,  the  cause  turned  in  his  favor.  The  denouement  of 
the  oonspiracy,  which  took  place  shortly  afterward  in  John's 
Coffee-house,  over  a  bottle  of  wine  with  Lord  Gardenstone,  at 
the  expense  of  Mr.  Crosbie,  from  the  profits  of  his  pleading, 
may  be  better  imagined  than  described. 

There  is  another  character  in  the  same  novel,  Pleydell's 
clerk,  Driver  ;  he  also  appears  to  have  been  a  well-known 
haunter  of  Parliament  Square.  He  was  a  creature  who  had 
sunk  from  a  regular  course  of  irregularities  to  a  kind  of  thin, 
pimpled  Falstaff,  a  man  of  genius,  fulfilling  in  himself  what 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AXD    LAW    COUKTS.     1 23 

Pleydell  said  of  Driver — that  sheer  ale  would  support  him 
under  everything,  was  meat,  drink,  clothes,  bed,  board,  and 
washing  to  him.  It  is  said  "  there  did  not  exist  a  tavern  in 
Edinburgh  of  which  he  could  not  have  worked  you  the  charac- 
ters of  both  the  waiters  and  the  beefsteaks  of  each,  at  a  mo- 
ment's notice  ;  he  had  never  been  farther  than  five  miles  out  of 
Edinburgh  in  his  life  ;  all  he  knew  beyond  his  profession  was 
Auld  Reekie,  but  then  he  knew  all  that  ;  he  was  the  walking 
chronology  of  the  mobs,  manners,  and  jokes  of  the  town  ;  a 
human  vial  containing  the  essence  of  the  most  remarkable 
events,  corked  with  wit,  and  labelled  with  pimples.  He  was 
infinitely  rich  in  all  sorts  of  humor  and  fine  sayings.  His  con- 
versation was  dangerously  amusing  ;  and  had  he  not,  unhap- 
pily, fallen  into  irregular  habits,  he  possessed  abilities  that 
might  have  entitled  him  to  the  most  enviable  situations  about 
the  court.  He  had  a  perfect  knowledge  of  the  law  of  Scotland, 
combined  with  much  professional  tact  ;  but  from  the  nature  of 
his  peculiar  habits,  his  wit  was  the  only  faculty  he  ever  brought 
to  bear  to  its  full  extent.  It  was  absolutely  true  that  he  could 
write  his  papers  as  well  drunk  as  sober,  asleep  as  awake  ;  and 
the  anecdote  which  the  fictitious  Pleydell  related  to  Colonel 
Mannering,  in  confirmation  of  this  remarkable  faculty,  is 
strictly  consistent  in  truth  with  an  incident  of  real  occurrence. ' ' 
This  is  the  character  which,  as  what  we  have  already  said 
shows,  is  delineated  by  Sir  Walter  in  the  following  conversa- 
tion between  Colonel  Mannering  and  Pleydell  : 

"  The  clerk  grinned,  made  his  reverence,  and  exit. 

"' That's  a  useful  fellow,'  said  the  counsellor;  'I  don't 
believe  his  match  ever  carried  a  process.  He'll  write  to  my 
dictating  three  nights  in  the  week  without  sleep,  or,  what's  the 
same  thing,  he  writes  as  well  and  correctly  when  he's  asleep  as 
when  he's  awake.  Then  he's  such  a  steady  fellow — some  of 
them  are  always  changing  their  alehouses,  so  that  they  have 
twenty  cadies  sweating  after  them,  like  the  bare-headed  captains 
traversing  the  taverns  of  East-Cheap  in  search  of  Sir  John 
Falstaff.  But  this  is  a  complete  fixture  ;  he  has  his  winter  seat 


124  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

by  the  fire,  and  his  summer  seat  by  the  window,  in  Luckic 
Wood's,  betwixt  which  seats  are  his  only  migrations — there 
he's  to  be  found  at  all  times  when  he  is  off  duty.  It  is  my 
opinion  he  never  puts  off  his  clothes  or  goes  to  sleep  ;  sheer  ale 
supports  him  under  everything  ;  it  is  meat,  drink,  and  cloth- 
ing, bed,  board,  and  washing.' 

"  '  And  is  he  always  fit  for  duty  upon  a  sudden  turnout  ?  I 
should  distrust  it,  considering  his  quarters.' 

"  '  Oh,  drink  never  disturbs  him,  Colonel  ;  he  can  write  for 
hours  after  he  cannot  speak.  T  remember  being  called  sud- 
denly to  draw  an  appeal  case.  I  had  been  dining,  and  it  was 
Saturday  night,  and  I  had  ill  will  to  begin  to  it ;  however,  they 
got  me  down  to  Clerihugh's,  and  there  we  sat  birling  till  I  had 
a  fair  tappit  hen  under  my  belt,  and  then  they  persuaded  me  to 
draw  the  paper.  Then  we  had  to  seek  Driver,  and  it  was  all 
that  two  men  could  do  to  bear  him  in,  for,  when  found,  he 
was,  as  it  happened,  both  motionless  and  speechless.  But  no 
sooner  was  his  pen  put  between  his  fingers,  his  paper  stretched 
before  him,  and  he  heard  my  voice,  than  he  began  to  write  like 
a  scrivener — and,  excepting  that  we  were  obliged  to  have  some- 
body to  dip  his  pen  in  the  ink,  for  he  could  not  see  the  stand- 
ish,  I  never  saw  a  thing  scrolled  more  handsomely.' 

"  '  But  how  did  your  joint  production  look  the  next  morn- 
ing ? '  said  the  Colonel. 

"  '  Wheugh  !  capital— not  three  words  required  to  be 
altered,  it  was  sent  off  by  that  day's  post.'  "  * 

How  well  and  wisely  Scott  says,  in  the  person  of  old  Pley- 
dell,  of  the  legal  profession  :  "It  is  the  pest  of  our  profession 
that  we  seldom  see  the  best  side  of  human  nature  ;  people 
come  to  us  with  every  selfish  feeling  newly  pointed  and 
grinded.  Many  a  man  has  come  to  my  garret  yonder  that  I 
have  first  longed  to  pitch  out  at  the  window,  and  yet,  at  length, 
have  discovered  that  he  was  only  doing  as  I  might  have  done 
in  his  case,  being  very  angry,  and,  of  course,  very  unreason- 

*  "  Guy  Mannering,"  chap,  xxxix. 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND    LAW    COURTS.     125 

able.  I  have  now  satisfied  rnysolf  that  if  our  profession  sees 
more  of  human  folly  and  human  roguery  than  others,  it  is  be- 
cause we  witness  them  acting  in  that  channel  in  which  they  can 
most  freely  vent  themselves.  In  civilized  society  law  is  the 
chimney  through  which  all  that  smoke  discharges  itself  that 
used  to  circulate  through  the  whole  house  and  put  every  one's 
eyes  out.  No  wonder,  therefore,  that  the  vent  (chimney)  it- 
self should  sometimes  get  a  little  sooty." 

We  surmise  also  that  Scott  had  in  view  the  craving  and 
litigious  disposition  which  characterizes  some  of  our  northern 
brethren,  when  he  drew  the  following  sketch  of  ' '  Poor  Peter 
Peebles  against  Planestanes. "  The  touches  are  so  true  to 
nature,  and  the  incidents  of  such  daily  occurrence,  that  we  can- 
not resist  quoting  it.  The  satire  on  a  court  of  justice  is  no  less 
keen  than  true. 

"  '  Well,  but,  friend,'  said  the  Quaker,  '  I  wish  to  hear  thee 
speak  about  the  great  law-suit  of  thine  which  has  been  a  matter 
of  such  celebrity.'  '  Celebrity  !  ye  may  say  that,'  said  Peter 
(a  ruined  pauper  suitor)  when  the  string  was  touched  to  which 
his  crazy  imagination  always  vibrated.  '  And  I  dinna  wonder 
that  folks  that  judge  things  by  their  outward  grandeur  should 
think  me  sometimes  worth  their  envying.  It's  very  true,  that 
it  is  grandeur  upon  earth  to  hear  ane's  name  thundered  out 
along  the  arched  roof  of  the  outer  house — "Poor  Peter  Peebles 
against  Planestanes  et  per  contra  ;"  a'  the  best  lawyers  fleeing 
like  eagles  to  the  prey  ;  some  because  they  are  in  the  cause, 
and  some  because  they  want  to  be  thought  engaged  (for  there 
are  tricks  in  other  trades  by  selling  muslins),  to  see  the  report- 
ers mending  their  pens  to  take  down  the  debate — the  lords 
themselves  porin'  in  their  chairs,  like  folks  sitting  down  to  a 
gude  dinner,  and  crying  at  the  clerks  for  parts  and  papers  of 
the  process  ;  the  puir  bodies  can  do  little  mair  than  cry  on 
their  closet  keepers  to  help  them.  To  see  a'  this,' continued 
Peter,  in  a  strain  of  sustained  rapture,  '  and  to  ken  that  noth- 
ing will  be  said  or  done  araang  a'  these  grand  folk,  for  may  be 
the  feck  of  three  hours,  saving  that  concerns  you  and  your  busi- 


126  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

ness.  0  man,  nae  wonder  that  ye  judge  this  to  be  earthly 
glory  !  and  yet,  neighbor,  as  I  was  saying,  there  be  unco  draw- 
backs. I  whiles  think  of  my  bit  house,  where  dinner  and  sup- 
per and  breakfast  used  to  come  without  any  crying  for,  just  as 
if  the  fairies  had  brought  it — and  the  gude  bed  at  e'en — and 
the  needfu'  penny  in  the  pouch — and  then  to  see  a'  ane's 
worldly  substance  capering  in  the  air  in  a  pair  o'  weigh  bauks, 
now  up,  now  down,  as  the  heart  of  judge  or  counsel  incline  for 
pursuer  or  defender.  Troth,  man,  these  are  times  I  rue  having 
even  begun  the  plea  wark,  though  may  be,  when  ye  consider 
the  renoun  and  credit  I  have  by  it,  ye  will  hardly  believe  what 
I  am  saying. '  ' 

The  stories  of  Scottish  conviviality  of  olden  times  are  quite 
innumerable.  Mr.  Boyd  says  :  "  My  father  related  to  me  an 
instance  of  the  state  of  convivial  society  in  Scotland  at  the 
commencement  of  the  century.  He  was  on  a  visit  to  Lord 
Newton,  one  of  the  judges  of  the  Court  of  Session.  The 
courts  were  about  to  open  for  the  autumn  or  winter  session, 
and  the  learned  lord  was  giving  a  dinner  to  his  brother  judges 
and  some  of  the  senior  members  of  the  Bar.  They  dined  and 
they  drank,  they  supped  and  they  drank  ;  but  many,  previous 
to  the  grilled  bones  and  supper  appearing,  had  fallen  from  their 
chairs — the  more  dignified  of  whom  were  removed  by  the  ser- 
vants for  a  couple  of  hours'  rest,  and  again  rejoined  the  orgies. 
One  half  of  the  party  remained  all  night,  and  to  avoid  publicity 
did  not,  or  rather  were  not,  sent  home  until  the  sun  had  gone 
down  the  following  evening  to  that  on  which  the  debauch  com- 
menced." This  is  a  singular  picture  of  a  judge's  dinner  in 
modern  Athens,  but  it  may  be  accounted  for  perhaps  upon  the 
logic  of  the  Scotchman  who  was  seriously  called  to  task,  by 
one  who  had  his  welfare  at  heart,  for  his  constant  addiction  to 
whiskey.  "  Canna  ye  follow  the  example  o'  that  coo,  noo, 
ganging  doon  to  the  water  to  tak  a  drink  which  will  satisfie  her 
until  the  morn  ?  But  wi'  you  it's  drink,  drink  a'  day  lang." 
To  which  the  accused  replied  :  "  Ye  maun  recollect  this,  that 
the  coo  haesna,  as  I  hae  ower  often,  ane  or  ither  sitting  oppo- 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND    LAW    Coi/KTS.     127 

site,  and  saying  to  me,  '  Here's  to  ye — finish  yer  glass,  and 
let's  have  another  hauf  mutchkin.'  That's  how  I  differ  from 
the  coo." 

There  were  others  of  higher  moral  type  ;  the  Lord  President 
Hope,  for  instance.  Lockhart  gives  a  vivid  picture  of  him 
pronouncing  sentence  upon  a  well-known  Writer  of  the  Signet 
detected  in  some  piece  of  mean  and  petty  chicanery.  "  Amid 
silence  profound  as  midnight,  he  named  the  man  before  him  in 
tones  that  made  my  pulse  quiver,  and  every  cheek  around  me 
grow  pale,  and  I  thought  within  myself  that  the  offence  must  in- 
deed be  great  which  could  deserve  to  call  down  upon  any  head 
such  a  palsying  sweep  of  terrors.  The  language  in  which  the  re- 
buke was  clothed  would  have  been  enough  of  itself  alone  to  beat 
into  atoms  the  last  lingering  bud  of  self-complacency  on  which 
detected  meanness  might  have  endeavored  to  p*op  up  the  hour 
and  agony  of  its  humiliation.  The  harrowing  words  came 
ready  as  flashes  from  a  bursting  thundercloud,  making  the  flesh 
and  spirit  of  the  poor  wretch  creep  chill  within  him  like  a 
bruised  adder.  His  coward  eye  was  fascinated  by  the  glance 
that  killed  him,  and  he  durst  not  look  from  the  face  of  his 
chastiser.  He  did  look  for  a  moment  ;  at  one  terrible  word  he 
looked  wildly  round,  as  if  to  seek  for  some  whisper  of  protec- 
tion or  some  den  of  shelter.  But  he  found  none,  and  after  the 
rebuke  was  at  an  end  he  stood  like  the  statue  of  Fear,  frozen 
in  the  same  attitude  of  immovable  desertedness. " 

A  greater  man  still  was  the  Lord  President  Blair.  He  was 
called  "  a  living  equity  ;"  he  was  a  man  of  supreme  intellect, 
and  apparently  of  moral  perceptions  in  equal  proportion.  A 
story  is  told  of  a  very  great  and  eminent  barrister  who  ap- 
peared before  him  with  a  truly  mighty  mass  of  ingenious  soph- 
istry, which  appeared  insurmountable  to  the  rest  of  his  audi- 
ence. The  President  Blair  overturned  it  all  without  an  effort 
in  a  few  clear,  short  sentences.  It  had  cost  the  barrister,  most 
evidently,  much  labor  to  erect  his  cause.  Chagrined  and  dis- 
comfited, he  sat  a  few  seconds  musing  in  his  bitterness,  and 
then  muttered  between  his  teeth,  "  My  man,  the  Almighty 


128  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

spared  nae  pains  when  He  made  your  brains."  It  was  a  great 
and  characteristic  compliment,  and  not  to  be  the  less  thought 
of  on  account  of  its  coarseness.  Only  once  again,  in  the  in- 
stance of  Chalmers,  was  there  such  a  funeral  in  Edinburgh  as 
that  when  Blair  was  carried  to  his  grave.  "  When  the  sod," 
says  Cockburn,  "  was  laid,  his  relations  took  off  their  hats  ;  so 
did  the  judges  who  stood  next  ;  then  the  magistrates,  the  fac- 
ulty and  other  legal  bodies,  the  clergy,  and  all  the  spectators  in 
the  churchyard,  beyond  whom  it  ran  over  the  skylines  of  the 
people,  ridged  on  all  the  buildings  and  on  the  southern  edge  of 
the  Castle  Hill.  All  stood  silent  and  uncovered." 

We  have  said  that  Scotland  is  litigious,  and  so  it  was  said 
once,  and  there  is  scarcely  much  exaggeration  in  the  saying, 
that  every  house  which  a  man,  not  a  lawyer,  builds  out  of 
Edinburgh  enables  a  man  who  is  a  lawyer  to  build  another 
equally  comfortable  in  Edinburgh.  The  attorneys  of  Edin- 
burgh are  called  the  Writers  to  the  Signet,  and  it  is  said  that 
almost  every  foot  of  land  in  Scotland  pays  something  to  them. 
But  the  same  may  be  said  of  English  property.  These  writers 
are,  of  course,  the  agents  of  all  proprietors,  and,  in  this  con- 
nection, the  writer  is  called  the  "  doer."  They  were  once 
said  to  be  the  bankers  and  creditors  of  their  clients  ;  and  when 
any  gentleman  changes  his  man  of  business,  the  difficulties  are 
so  great,  there  is  so  complete  a  revolution  and  revulsion,  that  it 
has  been  said  that  in  Scotland  it  is  a  much  easier  thing  to  get 
rid  of  one's  wife  than  for  a  man  to  get  rid  of  his  "  doer." 
The  ' '  doer' '  was  the  term  used  for  the  agent  of  the  law  ;  it  is, 
perhaps,  not  singular  that  it  was  also  the  designation  of  the 
hangman  ! 

The  case  before  the  town  bailies  of  Cupar  Angus,  when 
Luckie  Simpson's  cow  had  drunk  up  Luckie  Jameson's  browst 
of  ale,  while  it  stood  in  the  door  to  cool,  is  very  fully  and 
facetiously  detailed  in  Franck's  "  Northern  Memoirs,"  of 
which  a  reprint  was  published  at  Edinburgh,  under  the  reported 
superintendence  of  Sir  Walter  Scott  ;  it  suggests  a  not  unnatu- 
ral picture  of  the  curious  frivolities  of  Scottish  law,  and  is  thus 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LAWYERS    AND    LAW    COURTS.    129 

I  imorously  narrated  in  the  last  Waverley  edition,  with  the 
mthor's  notes,  to  the  following  effect  :  "  An  ale-wife  in  Forfar 
}  ad  brewed  her  '  peck  o'  malt,'  and  set  the  liquor  out  of  doors 
10  cool  ;  a  neighbor's  cow  chanced  to  come  by,  and  seeing  the 
good  beverage,  was  allured  to  taste  it,  and  finally  to  drink  it 
up.  When  the  proprietor  came  to  taste  her  liquor,  she  found 
her  tub  empty,  and  from  the  cow's  staggering  and  staring,  so 
as  to  betray  her  intemperance,  she  easily  discovered  the  mode 
in  which  her  '  browst '  had  disappeared.  To  take  vengeance 
on  crummie's  ribs  with  a  stick  was  her  first  effort.  The  roar- 
ing of  the  cow  brought  her  master,  who  remonstrated  with  his 
angry  neighbor,  and  received  in  reply  a  demand  for  the  value 
of  the  ale  which  crummie  had  drank  up.  Payment  was 
refused,  and  the  party  was  cited  before  the  magistrate,  who 
listened  patiently  to  the  case,  and  then  demanded  of  the 
plaintiff  whether  the  cow  had  sat  down  to  her  potation,  or 
taken  it  standing.  The  plaintiff  answered  she  had  not  seen 
the  deed  committed,  but  she  supposed  the  cow  had  drank 
the  ale  standing  on  her  feet — adding  that,  had  she  been  near, 
she  would  have  made  her  use  them  to  some  purpose.  The 
bailie,  on  this  admission,  solemnly  adjudged  the  cow's  to  be 
deoch  an  doruis — drink  at  the  door,  a  stirrup,  for  which  no 
charge  could  be  made,  without  violating  the  ancient  hospitality 
of  Scotland." 

Henry,  Lord  Cockburn,  was  himself  one  of  the  most  eminent 
of  the  Scotch  men  and  judges  of  his  day.  Perhaps,  as  we 
have  said  before,  the  most  entertaining  portion  of  his  "  Memo- 
rials" is  to  be  found  in  his  sketches  of  his  brethren  of  the 
bench  ;  and  we  have  seen  from  his  delineations  that  they  ap- 
pear to  have  been  a  very  odd  race.  Thus  George  Fergusson, 
Lord  Hermand,  was  a  tiger  on  the  bench,  but  a  lamb  among 
his  gardens  and  his  fields.  He  lived  to  the  age  of  eighty-four, 
greatly  beloved  in  private,  but  through  all  his  life,  in  court,  a 
queer  piece.  His  energy  in  speaking  made  him  froth  and 
splutter,  and  a  story  is  told  of  him  before  his  elevation  how, 
when  once  pleading  in  the  House  of  Lords,  the  Duke  of  Glou- 


130  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

cester,  who  was  about  fifty  feet  from  the  bar,  rose  and  said, 
"  I  shall  be  much  obliged  to  the  learned  gentleman  if  he  be  so 
good  as  to  refrain  from  spitting  in  my  face. "  He  pronounced, 
says  Cockburn,  the  word  lords  laards,  and  many  other  words 
in  the  same  way.  Thus  he  was  very  apt  to  say,  "  My  laards, 
T  feel  my  law — here,  my  laards,"  striking  his  heart.  This  is 
the  worthy  of  whom  the  story  is  told  that  when,  in  early  life, 
pleading  at  the  bar  with  even  more  than  his  usual  animation, 
and  just  about  to  close  his  oration,  his  agent  came  up  to  him 
and  whispered,  "  Oh,  Mr.  Fergusson,  ye've  ruined  us  a'the- 
gither  ;  ye 're  pleading  on  the  wrang  side  !"  Thus  checked, 
with  great  presence  of  .mind  he  proceeded  :  "  Such,  my  lords, 
is  the  case  the  opposite  party  will  make,  and  which  I  have  pre- 
sented to  your  lordships  in  the  strongest  possible  terms,  but  I 
will  now  proceed  to  show  your  lordships  how  utterly  ground- 
less the  case  is,"  and  so  he  took  up  his  own  previous  arguments 
one  by  one,  and  refuted  them  all. 

There  is  no  lack  of  either  interest  or  romance  in  the  law 
courts  of  Scotland.  We  meet  with  a  good  illustration  of  two 
methods  of  examining  a  witness,  and  by  two  eminent  counsel, 
Francis  Jeffrey  and  Henry  Cockburn.  The  examination 
turned  upon  the  sanity,  or  insanity,  of  one  of  the  parties  con- 
cerned, and  Jeffrey  and  Cockburn  were  acting  together  in  the 
case.  Jeffrey  began,  "  Is  the  defender,  in  your  opinion,  per- 
fectly sane  ?"  he  said  to  one  of  the  witnesses,  a  plain,  stupid- 
looking  countryman.  The  witness  gazed  in  bewilderment  at 
the  question,  but  gave  no  answer.  Jeffrey  repeated  it,  alter- 
ing the  words,  "  Do  you  think  the  defendant  capable  of  man- 
aging his  own  affairs?"  Still  in  vain.  "  I  ask  you,"  said 
Jeffrey,  "  do  you  consider  the  man  perfectly  rational  ?"  No 
answer  yet  ;  the  witness  glowered  with  amazement  and 
scratched  his  head.  "  Let  me  tackle  him,"  said  Cockburn. 
Then  assuming  his  own  broadest  Scotch  tones,  and  turning  to 
the  obdurate  witness,  he  began,  "  Hae  ye  your  mull  [snuff-box] 
wi'  ye  ?"  "  Ou,  ay,"  said  the  awkward  fellow,  stretching  out 


THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    LAWYERS   AND    LAW    COURTS.     131 

his  snuff-horu  to  Cockburn.  "  Noo,  hoo  lang  hae  ye  kent 
John  Sampson  ?"  said  the  witty  advocate,  saluting  the  mull  and 
taking  a  pinch.  "Ever  since  he  was  that  height,"  was  the 
ready  reply,  the  witness  indicating  with  his  hand  the  alleged 
height.  "  An  dae  ye  think  noo,  atween  you  and  me,"  said 
Cockburn,  in  his  most  insinuating  Scottish  brogue,  "  that 
there1  s  anything  infill  the  creature?"  "I  would  not  lipprn 
[trust]  him  with  a  bull  calf,"  was  the  instant  rejoinder.  The 
end  was  gained  amid  the  convulsions  of  the  court,  and  Jeffrey 
said  to  Cockburn  that  he  had  fairly  extracted  the  essence  out 
of  the  witness. 

No  spot  of  Edinburgh  is  more  interesting,  either  to  the  citi- 
zen, or  to  a  stranger,  than  the  magnificent  old  Parliament 
House.  The  noble  hall  is,  like  ours  of  Westminster,  the  scene 
of  parliamentary  debates,  and  of  great  historical  incidents  of 
many  generations  ;  but  also,  like  Westminster  Hall,  the  region 
of  the  law  courts.  Along  these  boards  and  stones,  one  thinks, 
as  one  walks  along — here  walked  Duncan  Forbes — cla-rum  et 
venerabile  nomen — Lord  Kaimes,  Monboddo,  Hume,  McKenzie, 
Erskine,  Cockburn,  Brougham,  Homer,  Jeffrey,  Scott.  The 
calm  statues,  busts,  and  portraits  of  many  of  these  look  down 
upon  the  stranger  as  he  passes  along.  On  the  outside  stood 
the  figures  of  Justice  and  Mercy,  concerning  which  a  pleasant 
story  is  told.  The  late  Honorable  Henry  Erskine  was  persuad- 
ing a  friend,  a  tough  old  Jacobite  laird,  James  Robertson,  the 
Master  of  Kincraigie,  to  accompany  him  into  the  Parliament 
House.  Robertson  abruptly  declined.  "  But  I'll  tell  ye  what, 
Harry,"  he  said,  pointing  to  the  statue  of  Justice  which  stood 
over  the  porch,  "  take  the  Lady  Justice  with  ye  ;  for,  poor 
thing,  she's  stood  Jang  at  the  door,  and  it  wad  be  a  treat  for  her 
to  see  the  inside  like  ither  strangers  !"  Probably,  in  this  par- 
ticular, the  Parliament  Square  of  Edinburgh,  is  not  worse  than 
our  own  Westminster  Hall  or  any  other  law  court. 

It  is  a  mighty  and  ancient  dispute,  and  one  the  very  fringes 
of  which  we  are  altogether  unable  to  touch,   as  to  whether 


132  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

modes  of  procedure  in  Scottish  or  English  law  be  the  best. 
Certainly  Scott,  Gait,  and  all  the  other  domestic  humorists  of 
the  land  have  dwelt  at  length  upon  the  ease  with  which  an  un- 
fortunate wight  may  get  himself  entangled,  before  he  is  aware, 
in  the  mighty  machinery,  and  the  difficulty  he  will  find  in 
escaping  when  he  has  once  permitted  himself  to  be  caught  in 
its  toils.  Members  of  the  Scottish  legal  profession,  however, 
we  understand,  painfully  feel  that  "  the  profession  of  the  ad- 
vocate has  seen  its  day."  We  quote  from  an  able  paper  on 
the  legal  profession  in  the  North  British  Review.  The  gravest 
questions,  it  is  thought,  which  roused  the  splendid  invective  of 
the  Erskines,  Broughams,  and  others,  will  no  longer  call  for 
their  apologists.  We  confess  we  a  little  doubt  this  ;  still  it 
may  be  fairly  presumed  that  men  are  casting  off  the  glamor 
which,  from  time  immemorial,  has  been  thrown  over  them  by 
the  courts  of  law,  and  Scotchmen  especially  are  not  so  quarrel- 
some as  they  were.  After  all,  the  spirit  of  combativeness,  or 
litigiousness,  as  it  becomes  in  civilized  life,  is  a  failing  in 
human  nature,  and  belongs  to  no  nationality.  Yet  we  call  it  a 
specially  Scottish  characteristic.  We  are  not  likely  soon  to 
forget  the  occasion  of  our  first  visit  to  Scotland,  some  thirty- 
five  years  since.  We  were  riding  on  the  top  of  the  coach  then 
running — there  was  no  rail — between  Stirling  and  Dumblane. 
Sitting  next  to  us  was  a  Scot,  whom  an  extra  allowance  of 
whiskey  had  made  something  considerably  less  than  canny. 
We  were  strangers  to  the  place — the  villages,  St.  Ninians,  etc., 
through  which  we  were  passing.  We  inquired,  however,  of 
our  neighbor  the  name  of  one  spot,  and  received  a  hearty  dig 
in  the  ribs  from  his  elbow,  as  he  exclaimed,  "  Dinna  ye  ken 
whaur  ye  were  weel  lickit  ?"  "  What?"  we  exclaimed,  and 
received  another  dig  or  elbowing  in  the  ribs,  and  again  the 
question,  "  Dinna  ye  ken  whaur  ye  were  lickit  ?"  It  was  his 
civil  way  of  conveying  to  us  the  information  that  we  were  un- 
consciously passing  over  the  field  of  Bannockburn.  He  was  a 
quarrelsome  Scot ;  but  the  intercommunication,  the  true  inter- 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LAWYERS   AND   LAW   COURTS.    133 

national  relations  and  unity  of  life,  have  not  only  brought 
about  an  amiable  state  of  feeling  between  the  two  countries, 
but  have  in  Scotland  itself  disseminated  a  kindlier  feeling  be- 
tween all  classes,  and  no  doubt  there,  as  with  us,  much  of  the 
law  business  has  become  now  more  a  matter  of  the  chamber 
than  of  the  court. 


CHAPTER 

OLD     EDINBURGH. 

WE  had  just  stepped  outside  from  our  hotel,  not  far  from 
the  noble  Scott  Monument  in  Princes  Street,  Edinburgh  ;  it 
was  verging  toward  evening,  and  we  were  standing,  in  a  half • 
irresolute  frame  of  mind,  undetermined  which  way  we  should 
walk  in  a  city  where  every  inch  of  ground  is  a  romance,  and 
every  suburb  an  enchantment,  when  a  respectable  stranger  who, 
we  suppose,  saw  that  we  were  not  native  to  the  land  of  cakes, 
and  had  perhaps  noticed  our  eyes  travelling  up  and  down  that 
most  splendid  highway,  and  glancing  on  the  gathering  lights 
glimmering  out  from  the  old  town  opposite,  accosted  us  with 
"  Is  na  it  a  braw  city,  sir  ?"  We  expressed  our  entire  sympa- 
thy with  his  evident  hearty  admiration. 

"  Why,  sir,"  continued  our  interlocutor,  "  I  suppose  it  is 
weel  kent  there  is  na  sich  anither  bit  o'  kintra  on  the  face  of 
all  the  yarth  !"  He  was  a  fine,  hearty-looking  Lowlander,  evi- 
dently of  the  Scottish  borders,  quite  prepared  to  chant  to  any 
extent  the  praises  of  his  great  Scotch  capital.  We  mildly  com- 
plied with  the  claims  he  levied  on  our  regards,  only  narrowing 
them  by  a  confession  of  ignorance  of  the  greater  number  of  the 
cities  of  the  world,  or  even  of  Europe,  but  giving  him  our 
hearty  adhesion  so  far  as  our  knowledge  permitted.  "  Weel," 
exclaimed  our  companion,  "  I  hav  na  been  muckle  o'  a  traveller 
mysel,  but  I  hae  run  a  bit  about  England,  and  have  just  been 
o'er  the  water  to  Paris — a  bonnie  city,  wi'  its  gardens,  and 
squares,  and  sic  like — but,  oh,  man  !  it's  a  puir  thing  com- 
pared wi'  Embro'.  It's  just  like  comparing  a  sausage  to  a 
haggis.  Do  ye  ken  Davie  Wilkie  ?"  "  The  great  painter?" 
we  suggested.  u  Ay,  that's  the  man  ;  weel,  did  ye  nae  hear 


OLD    EDINBURGH.  135 

what  he  said  about  Embro'  ?  Why,  he  said  that  he  had  just 
travelled  over  all  Europe  to  find  that  a'  that  it  was  necessary  to 
see  elsewhere  was  just  to  be  found  in  this  braw  city.  It  was  at 
a  public  dinner,  gien  to  him  just  on  this  verra  spot,  and  I 
think  likely  in  this  verra  house  ye  hae  just  come  out  of,  and  I 
mind  me  he  said  that  he'd  been  to  Prague,  and  Saltzburg, 
and  he'd  been  to  Genoa,  and  Naples,  and  Athens,  and  he 
mentioned  places  he'd  seen  in  Rome,  and  Greece,  and  Spain, 
and  the  very  crack  places,  too  ;  and  mind  me  if  he  did 
na  say  that  the  like  o'  them  a'  were  to  be  found  in  Auid 
Reekie.  Ay,  man  !  but  it's  a  bonnie  spot  !"  Our  admiring 
friend  proceeded  to  expatiate  in  a  very  intelligent  and  instruc- 
tive manner  upon  the  memories,  the  mysteries,  and  the  glories 
of  his  city  ;  Edinburgh  was  evidently  a  passion  with  him. 
We  walked  together  up  into  the  High  Street,  and  there  we 
parted. 

But  we  have  often  thought  that  he  was  not  far  wrong  ;  and, 
perhaps,  of  all  the  great  cities  which  travellers  are  wont  to 
visit  from  motives  of  memory,  affection,  and  admiration,  if 
there  be  some  which  equal,  it  may  be  questioned  if  any  one 
can  bear  the  palm  away  from  the  great  northern  capital.  He 
was  quite  right  about  Sir  David  Wilkie  ;  he  almost  quoted  his 
words  exactly,  though  it  was  probably  the  passion  of  nation- 
ality— and  where  is  the  Scotchman  who  is  destitute  of  that  ? — 
which  led  him  to  say,  on  the  occasion  to  which  our  friend 
referred,  "  What  the  tour  of  Europe  was  necessary  to  see  else- 
where, I  now  find  congregated  in  this  one  city  ;  here  are  alike 
the  beauties  of  Prague  and  Saltzburg  ;  here  are  the  romantic 
sights  of  Orvietto  and  Tivoli  ;  and  here  is  all  the  magnificence 
of  the  admired  bays  of  Genoa  and  Naples  ;  here,  indeed,  to 
the  poetic  fancy  may  be  found  realized  the  Roman  capital  and 
the  Grecian  Acropolis.'' 

It  is  not  mere  local  vanity  which  makes  Scotchmen  believe 
that,  in  point  of  position,  Edinburgh  is  not  only  unsurpassed, 
but  unrivalled  by  any  cities  in  Europe,  with  the  possible  excep- 
tions of  Corinth  and  Constantinople.  Venice  and  Florence  are 


136  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

wonderful  dreams,  and  the  first,  especially,  is  an  amazing  freak 
of  architecture — a  city  on  the  sea  ;  but  they  depend  more  for 
the  passion  of  admiration  they  excite  upon  what  is  in  them 
than  what  nature  has  done  around  them.  Innspruck  and 
Geneva  are  grand,  and  magnificent  in  the  surrounding  majesties 
of  nature  ;  but  they  have  little  interior,  and  their  natural 
glories  of  immediate  neighborhood  can  scarcely  be  said  to  equal 
the  Scottish  metropolis.  Vienna,  Berlin,  Paris,  have  no  castle 
crags  like  those  which  rise  so  proudly  over  the  northern  city  ; 
and  their  rivers  have  none  of  the  wild  beauties  of  those  which 
are  to  be  found  here,  and  they  are  at  a  distance  from  the  ever- 
living  and  ever-changing  sea  ;  while  the  absence  of  the  great 
excitements  of  trade  and  manufactures  have  constituted  this 
spot  the  retreat  of  quiet  wealth  and  learned  leisure,  and,  in 
certain  and  recent  periods  of  its  history,  have  made  it  indeed  a 
very  Athens  in  renown,  for  the  presence  of  its  large  constella- 
tion of  poets,  philosophers,  historians,  and  preachers. 

Lord  Cockburn  wrote  and  published  a  letter  to  the  Lord 
Provost  on  the  best  ways  of  spoiling  the  beauties  of  Edin- 
burgh ;  and  there  can  be  no  doubt  that,  while  manufactures 
might  and  would  materially  increase  the  wealth  of  the  city, 
they  would  soon  rob  it  of  that  isolated  beauty  and  splendor 
with  which  it  lifts  itself  up,  as  has  so  often  been  remarked,  a 
metropolis  worthy  of  the  land  of  the  mountain  and  the  flood, 
the  glen,  the  forest,  and  the  loch.  We  know  of  no  other  city 
with  such  a  cliff  rising  in  the  centre  of  it,  crowned  with  its 
hoary  Castle,  and  such  crags  as  those  of  Salisbury  and  Arthur's 
Seat  rising  over  it,  while  at  their  foot  stands  the  historic  old 
palace  of  Holyrood.  Looked  at  from  the  sea,  or  from  the 
heights  of  the  Castle  Ilill,  or  walking  down  its  noble  Princes 
Street,  or  wending  in  and  out  through  its  innumerable  and 
haunted  closes  in  the  old  town — every  way,  and  everywhere, 
Edinburgh  is  wonderful. 

Edinburgh  in  particular,  and  Scotland  in  general,  have  been 
eminently  honored.  Probably  there  is  no  spot  on  the  face  of 
the  earth  of  which  so  much  has  been  written,  so  much  has  been 


OLD    EDINBURGH.  137 

well  said,  and  well  sung.  The  novelists,  like  Scott,  Gait,  and 
the  Wilsons,  not  to  mention  a  number  of  other  and  many  in- 
ferior names,  have  set  the  social  manners  of  the  people,  the 
scenery,  and  the  historical  incidents  in  such  a  pleasing  light  ; 
the  poets,  like  Scott  again,  Burns,  Fergusson,  and  Ramsay, 
have  made  every  variety  of  beauty  familiar  to  all  readers  by 
their  verse.  No  other  spot  has  been  honored  by  such  a  crowd 
of  artists  and  engravers,  illustrating  and  realizing  the  charm  of 
scenery,  the  romantic  structure  of  old  buildings,  or  the  curiosi- 
ties of  old  manners.  The  Abbotsford  edition  of  Scott  is  as 
remarkable  in  this  particular  as  are  the  works  themselves,  which 
have  attained  so  extensive  a  renown.  And  then  the  archaeolo- 
gists and  historians  of  Edinburgh  and  Scotland,  like  Burton, 
Rogers,  Pitcairn,  Chambers,  have  explored  every  cranny  where 
a  fact  or  a  forgotten  incident  might  be  supposed  to  lie.  Be- 
sides these,  there  is  a  world  of  biographers  and  collectors  of 
anecdotes  and  ana,  men  like  Dr.  Strong,  whose  "Clubs  of 
Glasgow"  is  full  of  the  odd  incidents  of  states  of  society 
which  have  been  long  left  to  oblivion,  and  of  which  such  works 
are  the  pleasant  relics,  brought  up  by  such  divers  from  the  deep 
seas.  Edinburgh  is  a  place  of  which  not  only  its  citizens,  but 
all  England  and  all  English  colonies  may  well  be  proud.  What 
an  amount  of  brain  it  has  supplied  to  the  world  !  It  has  been 
like  a  popular  author  who  needed  a  large  population  to  give  to 
him  his  success  and  fame.  The  great  men  of  Edinburgh  could 
not  have  attained  their  eminence  without  London  and  the  large 
populations  and  interests  London  represents.  But  what  great 
successes  the  ventures  of  Edinburgh  have  been,  when  we  think 
of  the  Edinburgh  Review,  Blackwood's  Edinburgh  Magazine, 
and  Chambers'1  s  Edinburgh  Journal.  It  is  true  these  have  now, 
for  the  most  part,  left  the  city  of  their  birth,  but  in  their  first 
years  they  were  eminently  Scotch.  And  as  we  walk  round  the 
old  city,  what  names  and  memories  come  up — names  of  men 
who  were  all  there  together. 

Henry  Cockburn  has  given  a  charming  picture  of  that  old 
time  in  his  memorials,  talking  with  all  the  affectionate  garrulity 


138  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

of  a  wise,  thoughtful,  and  highly  cultivated  man.  It  is  alinoat 
idle  to  mention  names,  but  when  the  isolated  state  of  that  small 
city  at  the  commencement  of  this  century  is  remembered,  when 
there  were  no  trains  to  thunder  along  at  the  foot  of  the  Castle, 
and  no  steamers  to  break  the  stillness  of  the  beautiful  waters  of 
its  Firth  ;  to  think  that  there  were  Dugald  Stewart  and  his 
successor,  Thomas  Brown  ;  that  there  were  Scott,  Lockhart, 
Wilson,  and  that  singular  chield,  the  Ettrick  Shepherd  ;  there 
was  Thomas  Chalmers,  and  in  another — perhaps  some  would 
call  it  a  sectarian — pulpit,  John  Brown  ;  there  the  young 
Chambers'  were  just  commencing  their  career  as  publishers, 
and  one  certainly  exciting  attention  by  his  first  happy  effort  as 
an  author,  in  his  "  Traditions  of  Edinburgh  ;M  that  there  was 
Jeffrey,  and,  frequently,  his  greater  companion  in  arms,  and 
collaborates  in  literature,  Henry  Brougham  ;  there  frequently 
the  young  Carlyle,  even  after  his  student  days,  was  a  marked 
man  and  a  frequent  visitor  ;  and  William  Hamilton  was  gather- 
ing into  his  mind  that  amazing  variety  of  learning  which  some 
have  thought,  perhaps,  the  most  stupendous  ever  found  in  a 
single  head,  and  revolving  all  into  philosophic  theses  which 
were  to  be  the  nuces  philosophicce,  the  hard  nuts  for  generations 
of  thinkers  to  crack.  When  it  is  remembered  that  all  this 
mental  development  was  going  on  there — great  poems  read  with 
avidity  all  over  the  earth  as  soon  as  published  ;  great  novels 
which  changed  the  whole  idea  of  what  a  novel  might,  or  ought 
to  be  ;  great  preachers,  whose  oratory  was  famous  and  effective 
beyond  that  of  almost  any  other  preachers  of  the  age  ;  great 
lecturers  in  the  university  ;  and  great  reviews  and  magazines  all 
over  the  empire,  diffusing  or  directing  opinion — and  all  this  in 
a  town  then  not  nearly  the  size  of  the  present  Brighton — it 
must  be  admitted  that  Edinburgh  was  a  remarkable  little  piece 
of  eartlj.  Since  that  day  a  large  portion  of  what  was  then  so 
interesting  in  Edinburgh  has  passed  away.  Perhaps  Edin- 
burgh is  now  almost  as  unlike  what  it  was  in  those  days  as  in 
those  days  it  was  unlike  to  the  city  of  which  the  earliest  history 


OLD    EDINBURGH.  130 

informs  us  when  it  was  but  a  small  burgh,  or  rather  a  village, 
the  houses  of  which,  because  they  were  so  often  exposed  to  in- 
cursions from  England,  being  thatched  for  the  most  part  with 
straw  and  turf,  so  that  when  burned  or  demolished  they  were 
with  no  great  difficulty  restored. 

In  fact  the  old  Canongate  is  full  of  traditions  of  which  the 
gravest  historians  recite  the  legends.  Adjoining  Rae's  Close 
there  is  a  stone  tenement  with  an  antique  gable  fa9ade,  in  which 
is  the  curious  figure  of  a  turbaned  Moor,  "  occupying  a  pulpit 
in  a  recess. ' '  It  stood  upon  a  spot  called  for  ages,  and  still  so 
called,  when  Wilson  published  his  "  Memorials  of  Edinburgh 
in  the  Olden  Time,"  "Morocco  Land."  Wilson  claims  to 
have  ferreted  out  the  origin  of  this  singular  name  and  sign. 
The  mobs  of  Edinburgh  were  in  ancient  times  troublesome  and 
famous  affairs.  On  the  accession  of  Charles  I.,  from  some 
cause  not  necessary  to  expound,  such  a  mob  assailed  the  house 
of  the  provost,  who  had  made  himself  unpopular  ;  they  broke 
into  it  and  fired  it.  After  some  time,  order  was  re-established, 
but  several  of  the  rioters  were  seized,  and  among  others  a  lead- 
ing spirit,  Andrew  Gray,  a  son  of  the  Master  of  Gray,  whose 
descendants  still  inherit  the  honors  and  title  of  the  family  ;  he 
was  convicted  and  sentenced  to  be  executed  in  a  day  or  two  ; 
the  gallows  was  erected,  and  all  preparations  completed  for  the 
execution,  but  the  very  night  before  the  morning  fixed  for  the 
execution,  the  old  Tolbooth — whose  gates  were  often  so  sensi- 
ble to  the  privileges  of  gentle  blood — connived  at  his  escape  ; 
the  culprit  effected  it  by  means  of  a  rope  and  file  ;  a  boat  was 
in  waiting  at  the  foot  of  one  of  the  closes,  by  which  he  was 
ferried  over  the  North  Lock,  and,  long  before  the  hour  ap- 
pointed for  execution,  Andrew  Gray  was  beyond  the  reach  of 
his  pursuers.  Years  passed  away,  and  he  was  heard  of  no 
more.  The  sack  of  the  provost's  house  was  forgotten  ;  but  in 
the  year  1645  a  terrible  gloom  hung  over  the  city  ;  it  was  the 
year  of  the  last  visitation  cf  pestilence  ;  the  plague  appears 
almost  to  have  equalled  in  its  ravages  the  great  plague  of  Lon- 


140  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

don  ;  all  the  prisoners  in  the  Tolbooth  were  set  at  liberty  ;  all 
persons  not  free  of  the  city  were  compelled  to  leave  it  ;  the 
city  was  deserted. 

In  the  midst  of  this  dismay,  and  all  the  preparations  made 
to  diminish  the  ravages  of  the  plague,  a  curious  vessel  anchored 
in  the  Leith  Roads.  It  turned  out  to  be  an  Algerine  rover  ;  a 
number  of  the  crew  landed.  They  were  told  in  vain  of  the 
dreadful  scourge  to  which  they  exposed  themselves  ;  they  evi- 
dently intended  no  good  will  to  the  city.  It  is  said,  by  old 
Maitland,  there  were  scarce  sixty  men  equal  to  the  defence  of 
the  town  in  the  event  of  attack.  The  magistrates  proposed  to 
ransom  the  town,  and  a  large  ransom  was  agreed  to  be  received 
on  condition  that  the  son  of  the  provost,  Sir  John  Smith, 
should  be  delivered  up  to  the  captain  of  the  Algerine  rover. 
But  it  transpired  that  the  provost  had  no  son,  and  his  only 
child,  a  daughter,  lay  stricken  of  the  plague,  of  which  her 
cousin,  Egidia  Gray,  had  recently  died.  This  information 
seemed  to  work  a  sudden  change  in  the  mind  of  the  leader  of 
the  Moors  ;  he  intimated  his  possession  of  an  elixir  of  wonder- 
ful potency,  and  demanded  that  the  provost's  daughter  should 
be  intrusted  to  his  care  and  skill,  engaging,  if  he  did  not  cure 
her  immediately,  to  embark  with  his  men  and  leave  the  city 
free  without  ransom.  It  was  only  after  the  earnest  exhorta- 
tions of  his  friends  that  Sir  John  Smith  accepted  the  offer  of 
the  Moor,  who  would  not  go  to  the  provost's  house,  but  insist- 
ed that  the  young  lady  should  be  brought  to  that  where  he  had 
taken  up  his  abode,  at  the  head  of  the  Canongate,  and,  to  the 
astonishment  of  the  father,  the  fair  invalid  was  shortly  after 
restored  to  him  safe  and  well.  Then  came  the  singular  close 
of  the  story.  The  Moorish  leader  and  physician  proved  to  be 
Andrew  Gray.  He  had  been  captured  by  pirates  and  sold  as  a 
slave,  had  won  the  favor  of  the  Emperor  of  Morocco,  and  risen 
to  rank  and  wealth  in  his  service.  He  had  returned  to  Scot- 
land, bent  on  revenging  his  early  wrongs  on  the  magistrates  of 
Edinburgh,  when  he  found  the  destined  object  of  his  special 
rengeance,  the  provost,  to  be  a  relative  of  his  own.  He  mar- 


OLD    EDINBURGH.  141 

ried  the  provost/s  daughter,  and  settled  down  a  wealthy  citizen 
in  the  Canongate.  The  house  to  which  his  fair  patient  was 
borne,  and  whither  he  afterward  brought  her  as  a  bride,  is  still 
adorned  with  the  effigy  of  his  royal  patron,  the  Emperor  of 
Morocco,  and  has  ever  since  been  called  "  Morocco  Land." 
The  residents  of  Edinburgh  have  often  seen  it,  and  probably 
wondered  why  it  should  be  there.  The  writer  has  often  looked 
at  it,  and  realized  the  wild  story  whose  memory  it  perpetuates. 
It  is  added  that  Andrew  Gray  had  vowed  never  to  enter  the 
city  but  with  sword  in  hand,  and  having  abandoned  all 
thoughts  of  revenge  he  kept  the  vow  till  his  death,  and  never 
passed  the  threshold  of  the  Nether-bow  port.  In  the  Canon- 
gate  the  figure  of  the  Moor  has  always  been  a  subject  of  popu- 
lar admiration  and  wonder,  and  Dr.  Wilson,  although  he  says 
he  cannot  pretend  to  guarantee  the  romantic  legend,  thought 
he  discovered  coincidences  in  the  title-deeds  of  the  Gray  estate, 
confirmations  of  the  Chronicle  of  the  Algerine  rover  and  the 
provost's  daughter.  Such  is  one  of  the  memories  of  this  fa- 
mous street. 

It  is  no  part  of  our  purpose  to  write  a  history  of  Edinburgh. 
Even  now  the  lovers  of  romance,  and  those  who  like  to  loiter 
among  the  dainty  bits  of  grotesque  building  which  artists  love 
to  sketch,  and  over  which  poets  love  to  dream,  will  find  plenty 
of  queer  old  places.  It  is  unfortunately  true  that  the  perambu- 
lator must  usually  pay  for  his  explorations  by  wading  through 
a  world  of  filth.  It  is  something  astonishing  that  such  a  noble 
city,  with  a  people  also  capable  of  such  noble  things,  should  be 
permitted  to  abide  contented  amid  such  singularly  filthy  high- 
ways and  byways.  Never  shall  we  forget  the  disenchantment 
which  came  over  our  minds  when  we  first  went  down  the 
Canongate.  The  Chronicles  of  the  Canongate  of  these  later 
days  would  furnish  very  different  stories  from  those  of  the 
Great  Northern  Wizard.  Here,  for  many  years,  has  run  down, 
as  into  a  common  sewer,  the  beggary  and  destitution,  the  dirt 
and  drunkenness  of  the  great  city  ;  in  this  street,  at  the  foot 
of  which  is  the  old  palace,  the  street  in  which  the  proudest 


142  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

nobles,  the  Morays,  the  Montroses,  and  the  Argyles  lived,  or 
moved  with  their  cavalcades  to  and  fro,  is  seen  nothing  but 
dirt  and  squalor  now,  while  gin-shops  everywhere  abound  where 
once  the  houses  of  proud  nobles  stood.  With  all  due  defer- 
ence and  homage  to  the  transcendent  genius  of  Sir  Walter 
Scott,  we  have  always  thought  that  his  "  Chronicles  of  the 
Canongate"  was  rather  a  misnomer.  Of  course,  he  knew  the 
history  of  every  bit  of  stone  in  Edinburgh  ;  but,  assuredly,  he 
might  have  found,  in  the  old  Canongate  itself,  anecdotes,  facts, 
and  traditions  even  more  appropriately  belonging  to  it  than 
those  he  has  recited. 

From  among  the  many  houses,  so  difficult  now  to  conceive 
of  as  the  residences  of  great  statesmen  and  beautiful  women, 
there  is  one,  Moray  House,  upon  which,  and  its  balcony,  we 
have  often  looked  with  interest  as  we  have  passed  it  by. 
There,  in  that  room  from  which  juts  out  the  balcony,  in  1650 
great  merry-makings  were  going  on,  the  occasion  being  the 
marriage  of  Lord  Lome,  afterward  known  as  the  unfortunate 
Duke  of  Argyle,  with  the  Lady  Mary  Stuart,  the  eldest  daugh- 
ter of  the  Earl  of  Moray.  While  they  were  there,  a  crowding 
and  hurrying  was  observed  in  the  street.  Along  the  Canongate 
the  great  Marquis  of  Montrose  was  borne,  ignominiously  bound 
to  a  low  cart,  to  the  place  of  execution.  Montrose  had  fought 
with  and  overcome  Argyle,  the  father  of  the  bridegroom — had 
driven  him  beyond  the  sea,  and  wasted  his  country  with  fire 
and  sword  ;  and  now,  as  he  came  beneath  the  windows  of 
Moray  House,  the  Earl  of  Lauder,  then  Lord  Chancellor,  Lord 
Warriston,  and  the  Countess  Haddington,  along  with  the  Mar- 
quis of  Aigyle,  and  the  bride  and  bridegroom,  stepped  out  on 
the  old  stone  balcony  to  gaze  upon  their  prostrate  enemy.  It 
is  even  said  that  the  Countess  of  Argyle's  niece  so  far  forgot 
her  sex  as  to  spit  upon  Montrose  as  he  passed.  The  gloomy 
procession  passed  on  to  the  Tolbooth,  and  the  gay  wedding- 
party  disappeared  from  the  window.  But  what  a  picture  of 
the  vicissitudes  of  the  times  it  furnishes,  to  remember  that 
three  of  these  onlookers,  including  the  gay  and  happy  bride- 


OLD     EDINBURGH.  143 

groom,  perished  by  the  hand  of  the  executioner  on  the  same 
spot  as  that  to  which  Montrose  was  wending  his  melancholy 
way.  Truly  the  Canongate  is  full  of  memories. 

So  is  the  Lawn  Market,  so  called  because,  even  within  the 
memory  of  men  now  living,  the  wide  thoroughfare  was  covered 
with  the  stalls  and  booths  of  lawn  merchants,  with  their  webs 
and  cloths  of  every  description.  Among  these  singular  closes 
we  are  to  seek,  and  here  we  shall  find,  some  of  the  most  inter- 
esting houses  of  the  last  century.  Very  few  persons  will  visit 
Edinburgh  for  more  than  a  brief  sojourn  without  seeking  Lady 
Stair's  Close.  That  contemptible-looking  house  held  in  its  day 
the  leaders  of  fashion,  at  a  period  when  the  distinctions  of 
rank  and  fashion  were  guarded  with  a  jealousy  which  we  now 
can  scarcely  imagine.  If,  however,  we  step  into  the  interior, 
we  shall  find  in  some  of  the  rooms  indications  of  an  ancient 
style  of  which  the  exterior  gives  us  little  idea.  The  Countess 
of  Stair  adds  to  this  house  an  especially  romantic  interest,  as  in 
her  singularly  checkered  and  romantic  life  is  said  to  have  oc- 
curred the  incident  which  Sir  Walter  Scott  has  told  in  "  Aunt 
Margaret's  Mirror,"  one  of  the  most  singular  stories  of  this 
neighborhood. 

It  is  in  this  immediate  neighborhood  that  haunted  houses 
abound.  Perhaps  the  clouds  of  fancy  are  rolling  away  from 
most  of  them,  and,  beneath  the  lights  of  advancing  intelli- 
gence, and  the  demand  for  house  accommodation,  old  closes 
and  their  chambers  are  being  disenchanted  ;  it  seems,  however, 
that  in  many  a  stack  of  buildings  where,  while  one  flat  story  or 
suite  of  rooms  might  be  occupied,  others  in  the  same  building 
might  remain  locked,  closed,  and  unoccupied  for  years,  about 
which  innumerable  weird  stories  would  spring  up.  \Vc  believe 
there  are  many  such  suites  of  chambers  so  unoccupied  even 
now.  We  must  quote  the  words  of  a  well-known  citizen  of 
Edinburgh,  remarkable  for  caution  and  good  common  sense, 
Robert  Chambers.  In  the  last  edition  of  his  '"  Traditions  of 
Edinburgh,"  published  so  recently  as  1869,  he  says  :  "At  no 
very  remote  time  there  were  several  houses  in  the  old  town 


144  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

which  had  the  credit  of  being  haunted  ;  it  is  said  that  there  is 
one  at  this  day  in  the  Lawn  Market,  a  '  flat '  which  has  been 
shut  up  from  time  immemorial.  The  story  goes  that  one 
night,  as  preparations  were  made  for  a  supper-party,  some- 
thing occurred  which  obliged  the  family,  as  well  as  all  the 
assembled  guests,  to  retire  with  precipitation  and  lock  up  the 
house.  From  that  night  it  has  never  once  been  opened,  nor 
was  any  of  the  furniture  withdrawn  ;  the  very  goose,  which 
was  undergoing  the  process  of  being  roasted  at  the  time  of  the 
occurrence,  is  still  at  the  fireplace  ;  no  one  knows  to  whom  the 
house  belongs  ;  no  one  ever  inquires  after  it  ;  no  one  living 
ever  saw  the  inside  of  it  :  it  is  a  condemned  house.  There  is 
something  peculiarly  dreadful  about  a  house  under  these  cir- 
cumstances— what  sights  of  horror  might  present  themselves  if 
it  were  entered."  When  in  Edinburgh  we  have  tried  to  dis- 
cover the  close  in  which  this  "  flat"  might  be,  we  are  sorry  to 
say  ineffectually,  but  we  saw  many  which  might  seem  to  be 
worthy  of  holding  such  a  legend. 

Most  of  the  lovers  of  old  associations  will  regret  that  the  old 
To! booth  is  no  more,  "  The  Heart  of  Mid  Lothian,"  as  it  was 
properly  called.  In  fact  it  was  the  Newgate  of  the  old  city. 
Several  years  ago  one  of  the  wildest  and  most  popular  dema- 
gogues of  modern  times,  not  quite  aware  of  what  the  "  Heart 
of  Mid-Lothian"  meant,  went  down  to  Edinburgh  to  harangue 
the  roughs,  and  before  a  large  concourse  of  persons  whom  he 
gathered  round  him  to  unfold  his  scheme,  in  an  inflated  flight 
of  eloquence  he  commenced  his  address  :  "  Brothers  and  men 
of  the  '  Heart  of  Mid-Lothian. '  '  In  point  of  fact,  what  that 
expressed  was,  "  my  brother  jail-birds  !"  To  his  amazement 
what  he  intended  to  be  a  telling  apostrophe  created  a  loud  and 
utterly  unconquerable  roar  of  laughter  ;  the  orator  was  discom- 
fited, and  his  unfortunate  and  unsuccessful  flight  amid  the 
tropes  and  figures  of  poetry  more  successfully  foiled  the  pur- 
poses of  bis  meeting  than  any  reading  of  the  Riot  Act  would 
have  done.  The  Heart  of  Mid-Lothian,  the  old  Tolbooth, 
stood  next  to  St.  Giles's  Church  ;  it  has  been  down  for  more 


OLD     EDINBURGH.  145 

* 

than  half  a  century,  so  that  Scott's  novel  was  a  kind  of  funeral 
sermon  for  the  old  building.  It  was  haunted  by  a  crowd  of 
memories  ;  in  its  ancient  days,  royal  and  fiscal  ;  in  more  mod- 
ern times,  for  the  most  singular  stories  in  the  romance  of 
crime  ;  it  was,  in  fact,  an  old  curiosity-shop  of  crime.  In  the 
hall  or  chapel  hung  a  board,  on  which  were  the  following  true 
and  expressive  lines  : 

"  A  prison  is  a  house  of  care, 

A  place  where  none  can  thrive  ; 
A  touchstone  true  to  try  a  friend, 

A  grave  for  men  alive. 
Sometimes  a  place  of  right, 

Sometimes  a  place  of  wrong, 
Sometimes  a  place  for  jades  and  thieves 

And  honest  men  among." 

It  appears  to  have  been  a  horrible  place,  but  its  historian 
says  it  knew  the  men  who  ought  not  to  be  too  roughly  handled, 
and  the  consequence  was  that  almost  every  criminal  of  rank 
confined  in  it  contrived  somehow  to  make  an  escape.  One  of 
the  most  remarkable  stories  was  that  of  the  Lady  Catherine 
Nairne,  who,  in  1766,  was  tried,  convicted,  and  sentenced  to 
death  for  the  murder  of  her  husband.  He  had  treated  her,  it 
appeared,  with  great  barbarity  ;  but,  although  popular  preju- 
dice was  very  strong  against  her,  so  that  the  crowd  upon  her 
appearance  was  prepared  to  give  her  a  very  rough  reception, 
her  exceeding  beauty,  joined  to  her  exceeding  youth,  quite 
turned  the  tide  of  feeling  in  her  favor,  and  her  guilt,  although 
she  had  been  very  guilty,  was  forgotten  in  a  tide  of  sympathy. 
When  condemned  she  was  near  the  time  of  her  confinement  ; 
her  execution  was  delayed  on  this  account.  A  midwife  in  the 
city  was  admitted  into  the  prison  to  attend  her  ;  two  days  after 
her  confinement,  disguised  as  the  midwife,  she  composedly 
walked  out  of  the  Tolbooth.  Intending,  apparently,  to  call  at 
the  house  of  her  uncle,  afterward  Lord  Dunsinane,  she  knocked 
at  the  door  of  the  judge  who  had  condemned  her.  The  foot- 
man, who  had  been  at  the  trial,  recognized  her  ;  she  took  to 


146"  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

her  heels.  The  hue  and  cry  was  raised,  and  still  she  escaped 
to  some  cellars  apparently  unknown,  but  belonging  to  her 
uncle's  house.  There  she  continued  some  days,  and  at  last 
effected  a  safe  escape  to  France  disguised  in  a  soldier's  uni- 
form ;  thence  she  reached  America,  where  she  is  said  to  have 
changed  in  an  eminent  degree  her  morals  and  her  manners, 
married  again,  and  died  at  a  very  advanced  age,  highly  honored 
and  loved  by  a  very  large  family. 

A  far  more  tender  story  of  the  old  Tolbooth  is  that  of  the 
faithful  wife  of  a  poor  wig- maker  of  Leith,  who  was  executed 
for  signing  a  bill  to  save  her  husband  from  disgrace.  It  was  a 
case  singularly  involved,  and  well  calculated  to  create  a  large 
amount  of  sympathy,  but  she  had  no  rich  relations  or  aristo- 
cratic connections  to  connive  at  her  escape,  and  she  died  the 
victim  of  her  mistaken  act  of  constancy  and  affection. 

Walking  about  among  the  old  houses  of  Edinburgh,  nothing 
was,  and  we  may  still  say  is,  more  noticeable  than  the  frequent 
inscriptions  over  houses  ;  of  course  we  mean  the  old  houses, 
with  their  fantastic  timbers  and  stone  gables,  strange  relics  of  a 
forgotten  order  of  things.  Thus,  over  one  house,  on  the 
antique  lintel,  is  the  quaint  legend  in  ornamental  characters  of 
a  very  early  date,  "  J|e  gt  ijjoles  obercumits ;"  that  is,  "  He  that 
tholes  (or  endures)  overcomes."  Who  put  up  this  motto  is 
not,  and  never  will  be  known  ;  but  it  is  very  illustrativ  >  of  the 
Scotch  character,  nor  can  it  be  doubted  that  the  unknown  per- 
son who  reared  this  house,  and  put  over  it  this  inscription,  had 
realized  it  as  the  great  truth  of  life,  that  steady,  quiet  endur- 
ance conquers  and  triumphs  at  last.  Many  of  the  inscriptions 
are  in  old  Latin.  A  handsome  tenement  stands  not  far  from 
the  Cowgate,  surmounted  with  two  ornamental  gables,  bearing 
on  them  the  initials  of  the  two  builders,  and  over  the  main 
doorway  the  inscription  :  "  <S|j  magnifg  iljt  |Torb  faritlj  nu,  suit  let 
m  exalt  f  is  nanu  together,  IS4S."  But  the  tailors,  over  their 
hall,  when  it  was  erected  in  1 664,  put  very  ambitious  and  strik- 
ing inscriptions  ;  an  earlier  inscription,  1621,  with  the  sign  of 
the  shears  and  three  balls  of  thread,  bear*  the  pious  wish, 


OLD     EDINBURGH.  147 

$ob  gibe  %  Wising  to  %  lailrer  traft  in  tjje  goob  tohm  of  €bin- 
Then  over  the  main  entrance  is  the  dedication  verse  : 

"  &o  %  glore  of  <$ob,  anb  bertebris  renofone, 
&\t  companie  of  tailreonrs  britlj  t|jis  goob  tohm  ; 
^or  nutting  of  lljeir  craft  tjjts  bal  |jts  mtteb, 
W\i\  trust  in  <$ob's  goobness  to  be  blift  ifc  protecfeb." 

In  a  recess  in  a  picturesque  timber-fronted  tenement,  oppo- 
site St.  Peter's  Pend,  is  a  very  fine  door  with  an  inscription 
which  perhaps  has  been  passed  by  many  onlookers  as  altogether 
too  puzzling  and  vernacular  to  make  out  : 

"  <&if  be  §eib  as  be  boolb  be  nureljt  jjaif  as  be  balb." 

Literally  rendered  into  modern  English,  it  is,  "If  we  did  as 
we  should,  we  might  have  as  we  would."  We  do  not  remem- 
ber ever  to  have  seen  a  more  pathetic  inscription  than  that 
which  tells  a  sad  story,  although  a  story  altogether  unknown, 
at  the  head  of  Rae's  Close,  near  to  that  Morocco  Land  in  the 
Canongate  of  which  we  spoke  a  short  time  since  : 

41  $$liserere  mei  |Bomine  ;  a  peccato,  probto,  bebito, 
et  morte  subita,  me  Ubtra, 


Shall  we  say  that  the  national  character,  as  revealed  in  the 
history  of  Scotland,  seems  to  be  usually  that  of  a  grim  one  ? 
How  especially  this  comes  out  in  the  records  of  punishments 
for  offences  ;  some  of  the  sentences,  as  gathered  by  Dr.  Wil- 
son, are  very  odd.  We  will  take  the  liberty  to  simply  adapt 
the  spelling  to  our  modern  ocular  and  audible  senses  ;  thus  we 
read  :  "  Patrick  Gowanlot,  on  the  first  of  July,  1530,  is  ban- 
ished the  town  forever,'  under  pain  of  death,  for  harboring  a 
woman  infected  with  pestilence,  and  half  of  his  movable 
goods  be  applied  to  the  common  work  of  the  town  for  his  de- 
fault ;  and  his  serving-woman,  which  is  infected,  for  her  con- 
cealing the  same,  shall  be  burnt  on  both  cheeks,  and  banished 
the  town  forever,  under  pain  of  death."  Drowning  was  a  fre- 


148  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

quent  punishment  of  women  for  stealing.  A  favorite  punish- 
ment in  the  seventeenth  century  was  the  standing  in  the  pillory 
with  the  ears  nailed  to  it.  We  read,  in  1655,  the  marshal's 
man  who  was  appointed  to  "  Haif  cuttit  Mr.  Patrick  Maxwell 
hail!  lug  (ear)  did  onlie  cut  off  part  of  his  lug,  was  therefore 
this  day  brought  to  the  Market  Cross  of  Edinburgh,  and  set 
upon  the  pillory  and  there  his  lug  boirit  for  not  obeying  his 
commission  in  that  point."  There  was  a  mode  of  punishment 
which  we  confess  passes  beyond  our  knowledge,  "  nose  pinch- 
ing ;r'  thus  we  read,  in  1728,  of  the  trial  against  "Jean 
Bpence,  noted  thief,  pilloried,  her  lug  nailed,  and  her  nose 
pinched." 

Some  of  the  provisions  against  fever  and  plague  seem  espe- 
cially cruel  ;  we  find  another  instance  similar  to  that  cited 
above.  On  the  same  day,  a  woman  who  had  been  in  the  house 
of  infected  persons,  and  was  now  infected  herself,  without 
revealing  either  circumstance,  is  sentenced  to  be  burned  on  the 
cheek,  and  banished  the  town  for  life,  and  to  remain  on  the 
muir  till  she  be  recovered,  under  pain  of  death.  On  the  4th 
of  June,  a  woman  who  had  a  daughter  sick  without  giving  in- 
formaJ«  a,  is  sentenced  to  the  like  punishment,  "  all  her 
bairns"  being  at  the  same  time  adjudged  to  perpetual  banish- 
ment. Several  cases  of  the  same  kind  occurred  throughout 
June  and  July  (1530)  ;  but  at  length,  in  August,  when  prob- 
ably the  danger  had  become  greater,  concealment  of  sick 
friends  is  punished  with  death  !  An  unfortunate  tailor,  David 
Duly  by  name,  had  a  wife  sick  ;  he  kept  her  concealed  in  his 
house,  and  even,  while  she  was  ill,  went  to  attend  mass  in  St. 
Giles's  Kirk,  thereby  "  dooand  (carrying  all)  at  was  in  him  till 
haif  infekkit  all  the  toune. "  For  this  he  was  adjudged  to  be 
hanged  on  a  gibbet  before  his  own  door  ;  the  sentence  seema 
to  have  been  immediately  carried  into  execution,  for,  in  the 
afternoon  of  the  same  day,  we  find  an  entry  stating  that  Duly 
had  been  hung  up,  but  that  the  "  raip"  had  broken,  and  he 
escaped  at  the  will  of  God,  for  which  reason,  and  because  "  he 
is  ane  puir  man  with  small  bairns,  and  for  pete  of  him,"  the 


OLD    EDINBURGH.  149 

council  banish  him  instead.  A  few  months  afterward,  we  find 
that  several  women  were  actually  put  to  death  ("  drounit  in  the 
Quarrel]  holis  at  the  Grey -frier  post")  for  concealing  their  sick- 
ness. Throughout  August,  the  business  of  "  clenging,"  that 
is,  we  presume,  of  completing  quarantine,  proceeds  under  the 
regulation  of  various  statutes.  But  even  after  suspected,  or 
sick  persons  had  given  full  satisfaction  of  their  purity  from  the 
disease,  and  had  been  allowed  to  come  back  to  their  homes 
•with  their  goods,  they  were  still  forbidden  to  attend  mass 
among  the  other  clean  people.  Such  were  a  few  of  the  doings 
and  sufferings  of  our  citizens  in  "  the  good  old  times." 

One  of  the  oldest  inscriptions  in  Edinburgh — alas  !  that  we 
should  say  it — is  over  the  "  Rose  and  Thistle  Tap,"  the  tradi- 
tional guard-house  of  Cromwell's  Ironsides  after  the  battle  of 
Dunbar,  "Jmtlj  itt  Crist  onl«  sabti,  1567."  While  another 
building  in  the  High  Street,  of  the  period  of  James  VI.,  has 
an  inscription  with  a  hand  pointing,  as  if  giving  emphasis  to 
it,  "£{je  JTorfl  is  %  portion:  of  mint  inheritance,  artb  of  tng  rap; 
&{jon  maintainrst  mg  lot.  |)salm  *bi.  berse  5."  Sometimes  these 
inscriptions  are  placed  on  ceilings,  sometimes  over  fireplaces  ; 
several  very  beautiful  inscriptions  are  in  the  Castle,  and  these 
are  so  many,  and  so  representative  of  various  phases  of  histori- 
cal opinion,  that  an  interesting  volume  might  be  compiled 
giving  the  various  mottoes,  the  engravings  of  them,  and  per- 
haps, in  many  instances,  some  necessary  elucidation  of  their 
meaning  ;  some  of  them  in  the  Edinburgh  interiors  are  exceed- 
ingly beautiful. 

We  have  seen  how  terrible  were  the  terrors  to  evil-doers  in 
Old  Edinburgh.  Yet  it  was  a  singularly  merry  and  convivial 
old  city.  Scott,  both  in  "  Guy  Mannering,"  "Rob  Roy," 
and  others  of  his  works,  has  given  very  vivid  descriptions  of 
days  when  tavern  dissipation  among  the  respectable  classes  pre- 
vailed to  an  amazing  extent  ;  it  was  the  same  in  Glasgow  as  in 
Edinburgh  ;  there  were  a  multitude  of  clubs  with  ridiculous 
rules  and  designations  ;  there  was  the  Dirty  Club,  at  which  no 
gentleman  was  to  appear  in  clean  linen  ;  the  club  of  the  Black 


150  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

Wigs  ;  the  club  of  Odd  Fellows,  all  whose  members  were 
bound  to  write  their  names  upside  down  ;  there  was  the  Spend- 
thrift Club,  so  called  from  the  extravagance  of  the  members, 
who  \vere  all  bound  to  spend  fourpence  halfpenny  each  night  ; 
and  there  was  the  Pious  Club,  so  called  because  they  met  in  a 
room  over  a  pie-house,  but  who  really  adopted  this  as  an  equi- 
voque, as  they  really  were  steady  characters,  always  breaking  up 
at  ten  o'clock  at  night,  never  drinking  more  than  one  gill,  and, 
if  they  met  on  a  Sunday  evening,  always  restricting  their  con- 
versation to  the  subject  of  the  morning's  sermon. 

Enough  that,  although  so  much  has  been  written  upon  this 
subject,  it  is  still  fresh  in  every  kind  of  interest  for  the  pen  of 
poet  or  archaeologist,  the  pencil  of  the  artist,  or  note-book  of 
the  collector  of  the  folk-lore  of  the  manners  and  customs  of  the 
fathers  and  mothers  of  Old  Edinburgh. 

And,  in  fact,  we  very  seriously  question  whether  there  be 
another  spot  in  all  Europe  so  abounding  in  every  kind  of 
romantic,  tingling  tradition  and  legend  ;  and  where  every  street 
and  stone  seems  to  speak  so  immediately  to  some  singular  old- 
world  anecdote  or  memory. 


CHAPTER   IX. 

THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY. 

THE  old  Scottish  lady  appears  to  have  been  singular.  The 
anecdotes  told  of  this  character  are  innumerable,  and  the  class 
she  represents  enters,  in  a  very  extraordinary  manner,  into  the 
social  life  of  the  period.  Some  remarkable  illustrations  occur 
in  that  extraordinary  and  pathetic  little  book,  "  Mystifica- 
tions," apparently  edited,  and  introduced  by  Dr.  John  Brown, 
who  indeed  gave  to  it  much  of  its  popularity  by  his  short  paper 
bearing  the  same  title  in  the  second  series  of  "  Horse  Sub- 
secivae. "  There  is  much  that  is  very  pathetic  in  the  little  vol- 
ume itself.  The  authoress  is  an  old  Scottish  lady,  Miss  Clem- 
entina Sterling  Graham,  a  descendant  of  the  old  Montrose 
family.  When  she  was  young — no  doubt  a  bright,  merry 
creature — she  possessed  a  remarkable  power  of  personating 
what  was  then,  in  her  young  time,  the  Old  Scottish  Lady. 
Great  men,  like  Jeffrey  and  Sir  Walter  Scott,  and  others,  de- 
clared it  would  be  impossible  to  take  them  in,  but  the  old  lady 
called  upon  them,  or  was  introduced  to  them  at  parties,  and 
kept  them  in  conversation,  acting  her  part,  and  the  innocent 
imposture  was  successfully  maintained. 

Her  imposition  on  Jeffrey  was  complete  and  entire  ;  him  she 
called  upon  for  the  purpose  of  legal  consultation,  and  it  was  in 
response  to  an  invitation  from  Jeffrey  himself,  who  had  begged 
Miss  Graham  to  let  him  see  her  Old  Lady.  So  one  evening  the 
"  Lady  Pitlyal"  called  on  Jeffrey  with  her  daughter,  a  young 
lady  of  about  twenty.  She  called,  as  she  said,  "  to  take  a 
word  of  the  law  frae  him."  She  kept  him  from  his  dinner  a 
long  time,  and  when  he  returned  to  the  room  from  which  he 
had  been  called,  Mrs.  Jeffrey  said,  "  What  in  the  world  has 


152  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

detained  you  ?"  "  One  of  the  most  tiresome  and  oddest  old 
women  I  ever  met  with,"  he  replied  ;  "  I  thought  never  to 
have  got  rid  of  her."  While  he  was  narrating  to  his  wife 
some  particulars  of  the  conversation,  it  flashed  upon  him  that 
he  had  possibly  been  taken  in,  but  going  back  to  the  room,  and 
finding,  in  the  envelope  which  the  old  lady  had  left,  only  a 
blank  sheet  of  paper  with  his  fee  of  three  guineas,  he  supposed 
that  it  really  was  the  case  of  an  odd  old  lady,  desirous  of  his 
opinion  upon  a  complicated  question  of  law,  and  not  until  the 
next  day  did  he  discover  that  Miss  Graham  had  permitted  him 
to  see  her  Old  Lady,  as  he  had  requested. 

These  "  mystifications"  were  for  a  long  time  the  talk  of  the 
upper  classes  of  that  old  Edinburgh  society,  and  in  her  old  age 
the  lady  was  often  requested  to  put  down  some  account  of  the 
innocent  impostures  she  had  so  successfully  performed  in  her 
young  and  merry  days.  Her  little  book,  privately  printed,  and 
kept  private  for  many  years,  although  now  published,  justifies 
the  characterization  of  it  by  Dr.  Brown,  "  Was  there  ever  any- 
thing better,  or  so  good,  said  of  a  stiff  clay  than  that  it  '  girns 
a'  simmer  and  greets  a'  winter  '  ?" 

Miss  Graham  in  her  little  volume  has  appended  two  or  three 
little  portraits  which  she  calls  "  worthies  ;"  one  of  them  of 
Miss  Menie  Trotter,  mentioned  by  Lord  Cockburn  in  his 
Memorials,  but  to  whose  portrait  Miss  Graham  adds  some 
charming  characteristics.  She  appears  to  have  been  one  of  the 
most  delightful  of  these  strong-minded  but  most  tender-hearted 
and  singularly  eccentric  old  Scottish  ladies  ;  when  in  her  ex- 
treme old  age,  she  sent  an  invitation  begging  her  old  neighbor, 
Sir  Thomas  Lauder,  to  dine  with  her  on  a  very  early  date  she 
mentioned,  writing,  "  for  eh,  SirThammas,  we  are  terrible  near 
the  tail  noo  !"  If  Miss  Menie  Trotter  was  a  representative 
woman  in  the  society  of  old  Scottish  ladies,  that  society  must 
have  been  very  rich  in  fine  characters.  She  was  exceedingly 
penurious  in  small  things,  but  she  had  a  noble  generosity  ;  she 
had  a  perfect  contempt  for  all  securities,  and  would  trust  no 
bank  with  her  money,  and  kept  all  her  bills  and  bank-notes  in  a 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY.  153 

green  bag  hanging  on  her  toilet  glass.  On  each  side  of  the  same 
table  stood  two  bowls,  the  one  full  o.f  her  silver  and  the  other 
of  her  copper  money,  accessible  to  any  of  the  servants  of  her 
household,  the  idea  of  any  one  stealing  money  from  her  never 
entering  into  her  hcwd.  She  sent  a  present  of  a  fifty-pound 
note  to  her  niece,  Mrs.  Cunningham,  wrapped  up  in  a  cabbage 
'eaf .  And  the  same  niece  told  Miss  Graham  the  following  pleas- 
ant anecdote  of  her.  She  said  to  Mrs.  Cunningham  one  day, 

"Do   ye  ken,   Margaret,  that   Mrs.  Thomas  R is  dead  ? 

I  was  gaun  by  the  door  this  morning,  and  thought  I  would  just 
look  in  and  speer  for  her  ;  she  was  very  near  her  end,  but  quite 
sensible,  and  expressed  her  gratitude  to  God  for  what  He  had 
done  for  her  and  her  fatherless  bairns.  She  said  she  was  leav- 
ing a  large  young  family  with  very  small  means,  but  she  had 
that  trust  in  Him  that  they  would  not  be  forsaken,  and  that 
He  would  provide  for  them.  Now,  Margaret,  ye'll  tell  Peggy 
(this  was  her  housekeeper)  to  bring  down  the  green  silk  bag 
that  hangs  on  the  corner  of  my  looking-glass,  and  ye'll  tak 
twa  thousand  pounds  out  of  it  and  give  it  to  Walter  Ferrier  for 
behoof  of  thae  orphan  bairns  ;  it  will  fit  out  the  laddies,  and 
do  something  for  the  lasses.  I  want  to  make  good  the  words 
that  God  would  provide  for  them  ;  for  what  else  was  I  sent 
that  way  this  morning,  but  as  an  humble  instrument  in  His 
hands?" 

Miss  Graham  mentions  another  instance.  There  was  a  young 
man,  the  son  apparently  of  a  widowed  friend  of  Miss  Trotter. 
He  was  not  remarkably  gifted  either  with  sense  or  goodness, 
but  he  was  in  a  bank  in  Edinburgh,  where  he  contrived  to  steal 
money  to  the  extent  of  £500.  His  peculations  were  dis- 
covered. Had  he  been  prosecuted  in  those  days  he  would  have 
been  hanged.  Miss  Trotter  posted  off  to  the  bank  in  Edin- 
burgh ;  there,  before  the  principal,  she  at  once  laid  down  the 
£500,  saying,  "  Now,  you  maun  not  only  stop  proceedings, 
but  you  maun  keep  him  in  the  bank  in  some  capacity,  however 
mean,  till  I  find  some  other  employment  for  him."  Then  she 
fitted  the  lad  out  and  sent  him  to  London,  writing  to  a  friend 


154  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

that  she  was  prepared  to  give  another  £500  to  any  one  who 
would  procure  him  a  good  situation  abroad,  where  he  might 
gain  an  honest  living,  but  never  be  trusted  with  money.  All 
this  time  she  kept  his  mother  in  ignorance  of  the  lad's  sins, 
and  did  not  communicate  them  until  he  was  settled  again. 

The  story  of  the  love  passage  in  the  early  days  of  this  noble 
old  lady  is  one  of  the  most  pathetic  things  we  ever  read.  Her 
niece  one  day  looked  at  a  little  coarse  engraving  hanging  in  the 
old  lady's  room  in  a  black  frame.  "  Dinna  ye  ken,  Margaret," 
she  said,  "  whase  picture  that  is  ?  I  would  like  to  tell  ye  all 
about  it. "  The  old  lady  was  in  her  last  days  then,  near  her 
end.  "  That's  Jamie  Pitcairn  ;  he  was  a  medical  student  in 

• 

thae  days,  but  he  rose  to  distinction  in  his  profession  after  that. 
He  was  of  a  noble  nature  and  had  a  kindly  heart,  and  he  was 
the  only  one  in  the  whole  world  that  ever  showed  me  any  ten- 
derness or  affection,  and  well  did  I  love  him  ;  indeed,  we  were 
deeply  attached  to  ane  anither."  But  we  will  continue  to  tell 
the  story  in  the  old  lady's  own  words,  the  volume  which  con- 
tains it  is  not  likely  to  be  known  to  many  of  our  readers. 
"  My  mother  and  my  sister  Johanna  were  proud  and  overbear- 
ing, and  looked  down  upon  Jamie,  but  my  auldest  sister,  Mrs. 
Douglas,  had  a  mair  feeling  heart,  and  often  took  me  with  her 
to  visit  at  Dr.  Cullen's,  where  I  met  Jamie,  and  mony  happy 
hours  we  spent  there.  Whiles  he  wad  come  and  drink  tea  with 
Mrs.  Douglas.  Her  house  was  at  the  head  cf  the  Links,  and 
the  windows  looked  out  upon  the  country  and  up  to  Arthur's 
Seat  and  the  Salisbury  Craigs.  One  evening  we  three  sat  there 
building  our  airy  castles,  a  happy  party  ;  the  beautiful  warld 
before  us,  and  the  birds  singing  joyously,  when  the  door 
opened,  and  four  black  eyes  like  a  thundercloud  darkened  the 
room.  They  fell  upon  me  like  a  spell  that  froze  my  very 
heart's  blood.  I  can  never  forget  the  look  of  disdain  they 
coost  upon  Jamie.  He  never  spoke,  but  took  up  his  hat,  gave 
one  kind  look  to  me,  opened  the  door,  and  left  the  room,  and 
I  never  saw  him  again.  They  were  cruel  to  me.  I  was  ta'en 
hame  to  suffer,  and  he  never  married.  I  had  no  friend  left, 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY.  155 

for  Mrs.  Douglas  went  to  France  for  the  education  of  her  only 
daughter,  who  in  course  of  time  became  Lady  Dick  of  Preston- 
field.  So  I  wandered  among  the  hills,  and  held  communion 
with  Him  who  is  the  Father  of  the  afflicted,  and  when  I  looked 
over  the  varied  land  and  the  restless  sea,  and  down  upon  the 
broom  and  the  flowers  that  were  offering  up  their  mute  praise 
and  incense  to  their  Creator,  I  found  '  the  comfort  that  passes 
understanding.'  Mony  ane  thought  when  I  gaed  thae  long 
walks  among  the  mountains  that  I  was  my  lane  (i.e.,  all  alone), 
but  I  never  was  my  lane,  for  the  Maker  of  this  beautiful  world 
was  my  constant  companion."  Pointing  again  to  the  engrav- 
ing, she  said,  "  Now  that's  the  picture  of  James  Pitcairn  !" 
Mrs.  Cunningham  called  upon  her  again  a  day  or  two  after  this 
and  found  her  still  alive,  but  very  feeble,  and  asking  how  she 
felt,  the  old  lady  replied,  "  Vera  weel,  but  the  candle  is  just 
done  !"  She  fell  asleep  the  same  evening,  says  Miss  Graham, 
"  and  her  soul  returned  to  Him  who  gave  it." 

The  old  Scottish  lady  was  a  study  worthy  of  much  more  at- 
tention than  we  can  bestow  upon  her,  and  we  think  we  see  the 
reflection  of  that  stately  old  character  in  many,  elder  or 
younger,  of  the  good  old  race  with  whom  we  are  acquainted. 
There  was  a  deep  nobility  of  sentiment  beneath  the  character 
of  the  old  Scottish  woman  ;  she  was  not  a  flirt  ;  she  had  little 
real  coquetry  about  her  ;  it  has  been  said  of  her,  we  think  with 
truth,  and  the  little  story  we  have  just  told  seems  to  illustrate 
this,  that,  she  did  not  get  through  her  love  affairs  with  little 
trouble  ;  they  were  deep,  heartfelt,  sincere,  and  abiding.  A 
Scottish,  writer  says  these  ladies  of  the  old  Scottish  school  "  did 
not  first  try  to  fascinate,  and  then  try  to  think  they  were  fas- 
cinated ;  they  received  a  wound  like  a  bird  that  closes  its  wing 
over  it,  and  they  would  die  rather  than  reveal  the  secret ;  a 
Scottish  woman  never  babbles  a  love-tale  of  her  own  passion, 
not  like  the  Continentals,  whose  love  affairs  are  like  musical 
glasses,  hollow  and  empty." 

The  old  Edinburgh  ladies  formed  a  very  stately  aristocratic 
circle  ;  stiff,  in  their  black  silk  gowns  and  pure  white  muslin 


156  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

caps  and  mutchkins  ;  or  sailing  along,  as  the  author  of  the 
Memorials  describes  one  of  them,  like  ships  from  Tarshish, 
gorgeous  in  velvets  and  rustling  silks,  imperial  and  splendid, 
venerable  and  beautiful,  those  various  but  honest  faces,  with 
gentle  voices,  and  kind  eyes,  mild,  but  with  such  a  capacity  for 
sternness  ;  cheerful,  but  with  such  a  capacity  for  severity,  they 
look  out  upon  us  from  the  environment  of  old  times.  The 
stories  about  them  are  full  of  humor,  but  it  frequently  also  par- 
took of  that  which  we  have  noticed  as  a  characteristic  of  much 
Scottish  humor  in  general — grimness.  The  story  is  well  known 
of  that  old  Scotch  lady,  Miss  Johnson,  who  was  lying  on  her 
deathbed  in  the  midst  of  a  tremendous  thunderstorm  ;  it  rattled 
and  shook  the  house,  and  the  old  lady,  with  no  thought  of 
profanity,  but  in  the  full  possession  of  all  her  faculties,  ex- 
claimed to  her  attendants,  "  Ech,  sirs,  what  a  night  for  me  to 
be  fleein'  through  the  air  !"  We  agree  with  those  who  have 
remarked  upon  it  that  there  was  something  wild,  striking,  and 
almost  sublime  in  the  expression  ;  that  it  was  not  an  utterance 
of  humor  out  of  season,  but  of  a  highly  imaginative  and  poetic 
temperament  ;  that  it  was  probably  not  the  utterance  of  the 
weakness,  but  of  the  strength  of  her  faith  ;  that  it  was  a  note 
of  aspiration  and  not  of  despair  ;  and  that,  perhaps,  haunted 
by  some  of  her  ancient  readings,  and  country  superstitions,  she 
realized  her  flight  heavenward  through  the  midnight  storm  to 
her  bright  home.  It  seems  like  the  expression  of  one  shudder- 
ingly  setting  sail  through  a  dark  storm-haunted  night,  but  with 
the  assurance  of  the  morning  in  the  land  beyond. 

Take  these  memories  of  the  Lady  Anne  Barnard,  one  of  the 
most  distinguished  Scottish  ladies  of  the  olden  time  ;  her 
maternal  grandmother,  the  ancient  Lady  Dalrymple  of  Capring- 
ton,  as  was  much  in  accordance  with  the  kindly  habits  of  those 
days,  spent  her  widowed  years  under  her  son-in-law's  roof  at 
Balcarres,  and  after  his  death  settled  in  Edinburgh,  where  her 
house,  in  a  close  of  the  Canongate,  was  the  usual  town-house 
subsequently  of  all  her  young  descendants.  Mrs.  Murray 
Keith,  the  original  of  Mrs.  Bethune  Baliol,  in  the  "  Chronicles 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY.  157 

of  the  Canongatc, "  kept  house  with  Lady  Dalryrnple.  Lady 
Anne  recollected  her  grandmother  as  "  a  placid,  quiet,  pleasing 
old  woman,  whose  indolence  had  benevolence  in  it,  and  whose 
sense  was  replete  with  indolence,  as  she  was  at  all  times  of  the 
party  for  letting  things  alone." 

"  I  now  remember,"  continues  Lady  Anne,  "  with  a  smile 
the  different  evolutions  that  grandmamma's  daily  fidgets  had  to 
perform,  though,  at  the  time,  they  plagued  me  a  little.  At 
ten,  she  came  downstairs,  always  a  little  out  of  humor  till  she 
had  had  her  breakfast.  In  her  left  hand  were  her  mitts  and 
her  snuff-box,  which  contained  a  certain  number  of  pinches  ; 
she  stopped  on  the  seventeenth  spot  of  the  carpet,  and  coughed 
three  times  ;  she  then  looked  at  the  weather-glass,  approached 
the  tea-table,  put  her  right  hand  in  her  pocket  for  the  key  of 
the  tea-chest,  and,  not  finding  it  there,  sent  me  upstairs  to 
look  for  it  in  her  own  room,  charging  me  not  to  fall  on  the 
stairs.  '  Look,'  said  she,  '  Annie  !  upon  my  little  table — there 
you  will  find  a  pair  of  gloves,  but  the  key  is  not  there  ;  after 
you  have  taken  up  the  gloves,  you  will  see  yesterday's  news- 
paper, but  you  will  not  find  it  below  that,  so  you  need  not 
touch  it  ;  pass  on  from  the  newspaper  to  my  black  fan,  beside 
it  there  lies  three  apples — (don't  eat  my  apples,  Annie  !  mark 
that  !) — take  up  the  letter  that  is  beyond  the  apples,  and  there 
you  will  find  it. '  '  But  is  not  that  the  key  in  your  left  hand 
over  your  little  finger  ?  '  '  No,  Annie,  it  cannot  be  so,  for  I 
always  carry  it  on  my  right. '  '  That  is,  you  intend  to  do  so, 
my  dear  grandmamma,  but  you  know  you  always  carry  it  in 
your  left.'  '  Well,  well,  child  !  I  believe  I  do,  but  what 
then  ?  is  the  tea  made  ?  put  in  one  spoonful  for  every  person, 
and  one  over — Annie,  do  you  mark  me  ?  '  Thus,  every  morn- 
ing, grandmamma  smelled  three  times  at  her  apple,  came  down- 
stairs testy,  coughed  on  the  seventeenth  spot,  lost  her  key,  had 
it  detected  in  her  left  hand,  and,  the  morning  parade  being 
over,  till  the  evening's  nap  arrived  (when  she  had  a  new  set  of 
manoeuvres),  she  was  a  pleasing,  entertaining,  talkative,  mild 
old  woman.  I  should  love  her,  for  she  loved  me  ;  I  was  her 


158  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

god-daughter,  and  her  sworn  friend."  "  She  was  the  mild- 
est, ' '  adds  Lady  Anne,  many  years  afterward,  ' '  and  most  inno- 
cent of  beings." 

The  following  anecdote  of  David  Hume,  whom  Lady  Dal- 
rymple  had  known  from  a  child,  occurs  in  a  letter  of  Lady 
Anne  to  her  sister  Margaret,  from  her  grandmother's  house  in 
Edinburgh  :  "  Our  friend  David  Hume  is  a  constant  morning 
visitor  of  ours.  My  mother  jested  him  lately  on  a  cir- 
cumstance which  had  a  good  deal  of  character  in  it.  When 
we  were  very  young  girls,  too  young  to  remember  the 
scene,  there  happened  to  be  a  good  many  clever  people  at 
Balcarres  at  Christmas,  and  as  a  gambol  of  the  season  they 
agreed  to  write  each  his  own  character,  to  give  them  to 
Hume,  and  make  him  show  them  to  my  father,  as  extracts 
he  had  taken  from  the  Pope's  library  at  Rome.  He  did  : 
my  father  said,  '  I  don't  know  who  the  rest  of  your  fine  fel- 
lows and  charming  princesses  are,  Hume  ;  but  if  you  had  not 
told  me  where  you  got  this  character,  I  should  have  said  it  was 
that  of  my  wife. '  '  I  was  pleased, '  said  my  mother,  '  with  my 
lord's  answer  ;  it  showed  that  at  least  I  had  been  an  honest 
woman.'  Hume's  character  of  himself,"  said  she,  lt  was  well 
drawn  and  full  of  candor  ;  he  spoke  of  himself  as  he  ought, 
but  added,  what  surprised  us  all,  that,  plain  as  his  manners 
were,  and  apparently  careless  of  attention,  vanity  was  his  pre- 
dominant weakness.  That  vanity  led  him  to  publish  his  essays, 
which  he  grieved  over,  not  that  he  had  changed  his  opinions, 
but  that  he  thought  he  had  injured  society  by  disseminating 
them.  '  Do  you  remember  the  sequel  of  that  affair  ? '  said 
Hume.  'Yes,  I  do,'  replied  my  mother,  laughing;  'you 
told  me  that,  although  I  thought  your  character  a  sincere  one, 
it  was  not  so — there  was  a  particular  feature  omitted,  that  we 
were  still  ignorant  of,  and  that  you  would  add  it  ;  like  a  fool  I 
gave  you  the  MS.,  and  you  thrust  it  into  the  fire,  adding,  "  Oh  ! 
what  an  idiot  I  had  nearly  proved  myself  to  be,  to  leave  such  a 
document  in  the  hands  of  a  parcel  of  women  !" 

It  was  in  this  old  lady's  house  that  Sir  Walter  Scott,  when  a 


THE   OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY.  159 

boy  of  six  or  seven,  used  to  see  Lady  Anne  Barnard  ;  and  in 
one  of  his  letters  to  her,  after  the  lapse  of  nearly  fifty  years,  he 
says  :  "  I  remember  all  the  locale  of  Hyndford's  Close  per- 
fectly, even  to  the  Indian  screen  with  Harlequin  and  Colum- 
bine, and  the  harpsichord,  although  I  never  had  the  pleasure  to 
hear  Lady  Anne  play  on  it.  I  suppose  the  close,  once  too 
clean  to  soil  the  hem  of  your  ladyship's  garment,  is  now  a 
resort  for  the  lowest  mechanics — and  so  wears  the  world  away. 
The  authoress  of  '  Robin  Gray  '  cannot  but  remember  the  last 
verse  of  an  old  song,  lamenting  the  changes  '  which  fleeting 
time  procurcth  :  ' 

'  For  many  a  place  stands  in  hard  case 

Where  blythe  folks  kenned  nae  sorrow, 
With  Humes  that  dwelt  on  Leader  Hanghs, 
And  Scots  wha  lived  on  Yarrow.' 

It  is,  to  be  sure,  more  picturesque  to  lament  the  desolation  of 
towers  on  hills  and  haughs,  than  the  degradation  of  an  Edin- 
burgh close  ;  but  I  cannot  help  thinking  on  the  simple  and 
cosey  retreats  where  worth,  and  talent,  and  elegance  to  boot, 
were  often  nestled,  and  which  now  are  the  resort  of  misery, 
filth,  poverty,  and  vice. 

"  I  believe  I  must  set  as  much  modesty  as  near  thirty  years 
of  the  law  have  left  me  entirely  aside,  and  plead  guilty  to  being 
the  little  boy  whom  my  Aunt  Jeanie's  partiality  may  have 
mentioned  to  your  ladyship,  though  I  owed  my  studious  dispo- 
sition in  no  small  degree  to  my  early  lameness,  which  prevented 
me  romping  much  with  other  boys,  though,  thank  God  !  it  has 
left  me  activity  enough  to  take  a  great  deal  of  exercise  in  tlic 
course  of  my  life.  Your  ladyship's  recollections,  awakening 
ray  own,  led  me  naturally  to  reverse  the  telescope  on  my  part 
of  life,  and  to  see  myself  sitting  at  the  further  end  of  a  long 
perspective  of  years  gone  by — a  little  spoiled  chattering  boy, 
whom  everybody  was  kind  to,  perhaps  because  they  sympa- 
thized with  his  infirmities." 

Another  of  Lady  Anne's  portraits  brings  before  us  a  most 


1.60  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

picturesque  spinster,  of  whom  also  Sir  Walter  had  preserved  a 
lively  recollection  :  "I  close  this  gallery  of  portraits  with  that 
of  Sophy  Johnstone,  for  many  years  a  constant  inmate  of  Bal- 
carres,  and  one  of  the  most  extraordinary  originals  of  a  day 
when  character  seems  to  have  been  stamped  with  a  bolder  die, 
or  at  least  to  have  opposed  more  resistance  to  attrition  than  it 
now  does."  "  Her  father,"  says  Lady  Anne,  "  was  what  was 
commonly  called  an  odd  dog  ;  her  mother  that  unencroaching 
sort  of  existence,  so  universally  called  '  a  good  sort  of  woman.' 
One  day  after  dinner,  the  squire,  having  a  mind  to  reason  over 
his  bottle,  turned  the  conversation  on  the  folly  of  education. 
The  wife  said,  she  had  always  understood  it  was  a  good  thing 
for  young  people  to  know  a  little,  to  keep  them  out  of  harm's 
way.  The  husband  said,  education  was  all  nonsense,  for  that 
a  child  who  was  left  to  nature  had  ten  times  more  sense,  and 
all  that  sort  of  thing,  when  it  grew  up,  than  those  whose  heads 
were  filled  full  of  gimcracks  and  learning  out  of  books.  Like 
Mrs.  Shandy,  she  gave  up  the  point,  and,  as  he  stoutly  main- 
tained his  argument,  they  both  agreed  to  make  the  experiment 
on  the  child  she  was  ready  to  produce,  and  mutually  swore  an 
oath  that  it  never  should  be  taught  anything  from  the  hour  of 
its  birth,  or  ever  have  its  spirit  broken  by  contradiction. 

"  This  child  proved  to  be  Miss  Sophy  Johnstone.  I  scarce 
think  that  any  system  of  education  could  have  made  this 
woman  one  of  the  fair  sex.  Her  taste  led  her  to  hunt  with  her 
brothers,  to  wrestle  with  the  stable-boys,  and  to  saw  wood  with 
the  carpenter.  She  worked  well  in  iron,  could  shoe  a  horse 
quicker  than  the  smith,  made  excellent  trunks,  played  well  on 
the  fiddle,  sung  a  man's  song  in  a  bass  voice,  and  was  by  many 
people  suspected  of  being  one.  She  learned  to  write  of  the 
butler  at  her  own  request,  and  had  a  taste  for  reading  which 
she  greatly  improved.  She  was  a  droll,  ingenious  fellow  ;  her 
talents  for  mimicry  made  her  enemies,  and  the  violence  of  her 
attachments  to  those  she  called  her  favorites  secured  her  a  few 
warm  friends.  She  came  to  spend  a  few  months  with  my 
mother  soon  after  her  marriage,  and,  at  the  time  I  am  speaking 


THE   OLD  SCOTTISH   LADY.  161 

of,  had  been  with  her  thirteen  years,  making  Balcarres  her 
headquarters,  devoting  herself  to  the  youngest  child,  whichever 
it  was,  deserting  him  when  he  got  into  breeches,  and  regularly 
constant  to  no  one  but  me.  She  had  a  little  forge  fitted  up  in 
her  closet,  to  which  I  was  very  often  invited."  It  was  for  a 
beautiful  old  Scottish  melody,  sung  by  this  Amazonian  dame, 
that  Lady  Anne,  the  eldest  of  the  youthful  tribe  of  Balcarres, 
wrote  the  ballad  of  "  Auld  Robin  Gray." 

The  times  of  these  old  ladies  call  up  before  us  many  pictures 
of  old  memories  and  old  manners  such  as  cannot  here  be  de- 
scribed. How  imposing  and  important  were  the  tea-tables 
over  which  they  presided  ! 

"  The  checkered  chairs  in  seemly  circle  placed, 
The  Indian  tray  with  Indian  china  graced  ; 
The  red  stone  teapot  with  its  silver  spout, 
The  teaspoons  numbered,  and  the  tea  filled  out  ;" 

for  the  numbers  on  the  spoons  enabled  the  hostess  to  return  to 
each  guest,  the  cup  which  he  had  before.  And  then,  how  singular 
it  seems,  to  our  notions,  that,  after  the  tea-drinking  was  over, 
the  lady  of  the  house  washed,  with  her  own  fair  hands,  the 
china  cups  at  the  table.  For  this  purpose  a  wooden  bowl,  kept 
for  this  business  alone,  was  introduced,  and  the  work  was  gone 
through  with  both  grace  and  gravity.  We  suppose  this  an- 
swered the  double  purpose  of  preventing  breakages  and  assist- 
ing servants,  who,  perhaps,  were  neither  so  numerous  nor  neat- 
handed  as  in  our  more  convenient  and  polished  times  ;  and 
then,  at  the  close, 

"  The  clogs  are  ready  when  the  meal  is  o'er, 
And  many  a  blazing  lantern  leaves  the  door." 

Those  were  the  times,  to  which  we  are  looking  back,  when 
scarcely  a  thing,  or  circumstance,  we  should  regard  as  essential 
to  our  comfort  now,  had  come  into  use  ;  but  an  old  Scotch 
song  says  : 


162  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  Little  was  stown  (stolen)  then,  and  less  gaed  to  waste, 

Ba  rely  a  millen  (a  sniff)  for  mice  or  for  rattens  (rats)  ; 
The  thrifty  housewife  to  the  flesh-market  paced, 
Her  equipage  a' — just  a  guid  pair  o'  pattens  ; 

"  Folk  were  as  gude  then,  and  friends  were  as  leal, 

Though  coaches  were  scant,  with  their  cattle  a-canterin', 
Eight  air  (early)  we  were  tell't,  by  the  housemaid  or  chiel  (young 

man), 
'  Sic,  an*  ye  please,  here's  your  lass  and  a  lantern.'  " 

A  great  institution  of  those  old  times  was  the  lass  with  the 
lantern,  the  constant  attendant  of  every  lady,  whether  accom- 
panied by  a  gentleman  or  not,  who  might  happen  in  those 
gasless  days  to  be  out  after  nightfall. 

But  we  can  have  no  more  favorable  opportunity  for  remark- 
ing that  Scotland  furnishes,  not  only  among  those  we  have  des- 
ignated Scottish  ladies — women  of  the  higher  circles — but  in 
much  more  lowly  and  humble  spheres,  very  fine  illustrations  of 
truly  noble  womanhood.  How  many  romantic  stories  of  sin- 
gularly faithful  wives  and  daughters  we  must  not  stay  to  tell  ! 
Of  those  old  times,  the  men  seem  to  be  much  more  attractive 
by  their  strength,  but  of  a  rugged  order.  The  women  seem  to 
attract  not  less  by  their  strength  than  by  a  certain  elevated 
beauty  of  character,  frequently,  no  doubt,  in  a  setting  which 
seems  somewhat  rugged  too.  The  story  of  Helen  Walker  of 
Irongray,  the  real  original  of  Jeannie  Deans,  is  too  well  known 
to  need  any  specific  mention.  Exactly  to  the  same  order  be- 
longed the  mother  of  Robert  Nicol,  the  poet.  The  Nicols  were 
a  very  poor  family  ;  the  mother  nobly  struggling  to  educate 
the  children,  and  by  this  means  to  raise  their  condition  to  the 
level  from  whence  misfortune  had  driven  them.  When  Rob- 
ert was  dying  in  Leeds,  she  had  acquired  some  little  property, 
solely  by  her  own  exertions  and  industry,  but  she  had  no 
money  to  spare  to  defray  the  necessary  expenses  of  a  journey 
to  Leeds,  and  Robert  was  dying,  languishing  to  see  her.  A 
friend  afterward  asked  her  how  she  had  been  able  to  defray  the 
expenses,  as  her  son  was  in  no  condition  to  help  her,  when  sh« 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    I.AI'Y.  163 

bluntly  but  nobly  replied,  "  Indeed,  sir,  I  shore  for  the  siller" 
— that  is,  her  wages  as  a  reaper,  her  harvest-fee,  was  the  only 
means  by  which  she  could  honestly  fulfil  her  son's  dying  wish, 
and  accomplish  the  yearning  desire  of  her  own  mother's  heart. 

Thus  it  is  as  much  in  the  lowly  ranks  of  womanhood  in 
Scotland  that  we  are  often  to  seek  for  the  spirit  and  bearing  we 
admire  in  higher  circles.  Lord  Cockburn  says,  "  On  the  23d 
of  July,  1637,  Jenny  Geddes  threw  her  stool  at  the  Dean  of 
Edinburgh's  head,  a  proceeding  for  which,  at  the  distance  of 
two  hundred  years,  she  is  still  respected.  Another  Jenny  has 
appeared,  against  whom  and  her  principles  all  the  lairds  of  the 
empire  will  persecute  in  vain.  This  woman,  Jenny  Frazer, 
occupied  a  few  yards  of  ground  in  one  of  the  Duke  of  Buc- 
cleuch's  parishes,  which  it  was  discovered  were  not  his  but 
hers,  being  the  only  spot  in  that  inconvenient  condition.  She 
was  offered  an  extraordinary  price  for  it.  Though  but  a  poor 
crofter,  she  had  the  spirit  to  say,  '  Na  !  it  cam'  frae  the  Lord, 
an'  the  Lord  wants  't  again  and  He  shall  have  it  !'  And  there 
is  now  a  Free  Church  erected  upon  it."  This  is  finer  thau 
Jenny  Geddes  ;  and  Cockburn  adds,  he  firmly  believes  the 
story  to  be  correct. 

Some  of  the  most  affecting,  it  is  not  too  much  to  say  some 
of  the  most  wonderful  stories  of  old  Scotland  are  of  snow- 
storms. Dr.  Macleod  tells  one  of  a  Highland  widow.  She 
had  left  her  home  on  a  morning  which  gave  the  promise  of  a 
peaceful  day.  She  carried  her  only  child,  an  infant,  with  her. 
Her  journey  was  through  giant  precipices  for  ten  miles,  but  her 
rent  was  overdue,  she  had  been  threatened  with  dispossession, 
and  she  was  on  her  way  to  seek  help  of  a  kinsman.  It  was  in 
the  month  of  May  ;  but  before  noon  the  weather  changed,  the 
sky  became  black  and  lowering,  the  clouds  fell  down  upon  the 
hills,  the  wind  rose,  and  was  followed  by  the  rain,  and  by  the 
sleet,  and  then  came  a  heavy  fall  of  snow.  This  snowstorm  be- 
came memorable  as  the  "great  May  storm."  Her  journey 
was  known  to  her  neighbors,  but  little  anxiety  was  felt,  as  it 
was  supposed  that  in  the  sheiling  of  some  shepherd,  or  the 


164  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

steading  of  some  farmer,  she  would  find  a  refuge  before  she 
began  to  cross  the  rugged  mountain-side.  But  when  the  next 
morning  came,  and  it  was  learned,  from  some  person  who 
arrived  from  the  place  to  which  the  widow  was  travelling,  that 
she  had  not  made  her  appearance  there,  a  dozen  men  mustered 
to  set  forth  to  search  for  the  missing  woman.  For  some  dis- 
tance they  were  able  to  track  her  as  she  had  been  seen  pursuing 
her  journey  the  day  before.  At  last  they  lost  all  trace  of  her. 
The  shepherd  on  the  mountain  could  give  no  information 
regarding  her,  and  beyond  his  hut  there  was  no  shelter.  There 
was  nothing  but  deep  snow,  the  drift  lay  thickest,  the  storm 
had  blown  with  a  fierce  and  bitter  blast,  the  deep  wreaths  filled 
up  every  hollow.  At  length  a  cry  was  heard  from  one  of  the 
searchers,  and,  crouched  beneath  a  huge  granite  boulder,  they 
found  the  dead  body  of  the  widow  entombed  in  the  snow.  A 
portion  of  the  wretched  tartan  cloak,  which  scarcely  covered 
her,  led  to  the  discovery,  but  she  was  divested  almost  entirely 
of  her  clothes.  What  had  become  of  them  ?  She  had  evi- 
dently died  where  she  sat,  almost  bent  double.  Where  was 
her  child  ?  The  mystery  was  soon  cleared  up.  A  shepherd 
found  the  infant  alive  in  a  sheltered  nook  of  the  rock  ;  high  up, 
near  the  spot  where  the  mother  sat  cold  and  stiff  in  death,  he 
lay  in  a  bed  of  heather  and  of  fern,  swathed  all  round  with  the 
clothes  which  his  mother  had  stripped  from  herself  to  save  her 
child.  Such  was  that  mother's  love.  It  was  an  incident  never 
forgotten  in  that  neighborhood,  and  we  may  well  believe  that 
no  eyes  were  dry,  and  the  minister  could  scarcely  perform  the 
service  for  his  tears,  when  the  poor  body  was  carried  to  its 
grave.  And  this  son  never  forgot  the  mother,  whom  he  never 
remembered  to  have  seen.  He  entered  the  army  when  a  man, 
and,  fifty  years  after,  came  home  to  his  native  village  to  die  ; 
and,  Dr.  Macleod  says,  among  his  last  words  were,  "  I  have 
found  deliverance  now,  where  I  found  it  in  my  childhood,  in 
the  cleft  of  the  rock — the  Rock  of  Ages." 

Archdeacon  Sinclair,  in  his  interesting  volume,  "  Old  Times 
and  Distant  Places,"   gives   the  account  of  an   old   Scottish 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    LADY.  165 

woman,  quite  too  remarkable  to  be  omitted  from  any  gathering 
of  the  curiosities  of  Scottish  folk-lore,  and  especially  in  the 
chronicling  of  the  memories  of  Scotland's  daughters.  He 
knew  her  well  ;  she  was  one  of  his  congregation  and  pensioners 
when  he  was  a  minister  in  Edinburgh.  He  calls  her  "  Widow 
Butler,  the  centenarian,"  and  says,  "  In  the  year  l'831,  not- 
withstanding the  infirmities  of  above  a  hundred  years,  she  reg- 
ularly took  her  seat  on  Sundays  upon  the  pulpit  stairs  of  my 
chapel,  St.  Paul's,  York  Place,  Edinburgh."  He  says,  "  Her 
short,  thin  figure  bent  forward  reminded  me  of  the  saying  that 
aged  persons  seem  always  to  be  stooping  down  in  search  of  the 
grave  to  which  they  are  hastening.  Her  face  did  not  at  first 
betray  extraordinary  age,  but  on  close  examination  it  was  inter- 
laced in  all  directions,  with  a  profusion  of  small  wrinkles,  about 
which  there  could  be  no  mistake.  When  once  upon  her  feet, 
she  was  able,  with  the  help  of  a  stick,  to  totter  on  for  miles." 
Her  age  was  doubted,  but  the  examination  of  the  register  of 
her  birth  placed  it  beyond  dispute.  Here  was  a  singular  in- 
stance. She  was  a  native  of  Dumfries,  and  was  seventeen  years 
old  when  she  saw  Prince  Charles  Stuart,  in  1745.  Sinclair 
asked  her  what  she  thought  of  the  prince.  "  He  was  dressed," 
she  said,  "  in  tartan,  with  plenty  of  silk  and  gold,  and  many 
thought  he  was  the  best-looking  man  in  the  army  ;  but,  for  my 
part,  I  was  but  a  girl,  and  I  thought  I  saw  men  who,  with  as 
much  silk  and  gold,  would  have  looked  as  well  as  he."  She 
had  innumerable  stories  to  tell  of  those  days.  She  had  a 
daughter  and  granddaughter,  with  whom  she  lived.  They  be- 
naved  badly  to  her,  and  Mr.  Sinclair  took  her  beneath  his  pro- 
lection.  "  Once,"  he  says,  "  I  raised  some  money  to  pay  her 
rent,  and  was  putting  it  into  her  hand,  when  she  stopped  me, 
saying,  '  Keep  it  till  the  term  day,  I  know  it  is  safe,  and  if  my 
daughter  and  granddaughter  knew  I  had  such  a  pile  of  money 
I  couldna  keep  it  from  them. '  ' 

Among  his  friends  in  those  days  in  Edinburgh,  the  arch- 
deacon numbered  an  old  lady,  Mrs.  Irving,  ninety-eight  years 
of  age,  and  very  proud  of  her  longevity.  "  I  mentioned,"  he 


166  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

says,  "  the  widow  Butler  to  her.  Her  curiosity  was  excited, 
and  I  arranged  that  they  should  have  an  interview.  The  next 
time  I  called  on  Mrs.  Irving  she  took  me  good-humoredly  to 
task,  asking  in  broad  Scotch,  '  What  for  did  you  send  that  auld 
woman  to  take  the  shine  out  of  me  ?  '  The  old  widow  But- 
ler used  to  say  to  Mr.  Sinclair,  "  I  have  been  spared  far  longer 
than  other  folk  ;  but  a  hundred  years,  when  you  look  back 
upon  them,  are  but  a  span  long  ;  the  things  lang  syne  seem  to 
me  as  if  they  had  only  happened  yesterday  ;  it  would  be  ill  for 
us  if  we  had  naething  but  this  puir  world  for  our  portion." 
Mr.  Sinclair  visited  her  a  few  hours  before  her  death,  when,  as 
he  was  taking  leave,  she  rose  up  in  bed  without  assistance, 
stretched  out  her  thin,  wrinkled  arms,  and  in  solemn  benedic- 
tion said,  "  God  bless  you,  you  have  long  been  the  chief 
earthly  stay  of  a  puir  helpless  woman  that  has  seen  above  a 
hundred  years. "  She  died  a  few  hours  after,  aged  one  hun- 
dred and  nine.  This  is  a  singular  glimpse  into  a  remote  and 
agitated  time.  Her  husband  had  been  a  soldier,  and  out  in  the 
great  forty-five.  She  had  anecdotes  to  tell  of  officers  and  men 
of  her  husband's  regiment  in  the  army,  whose  names  were 
known  upon  inquiry  ;  and  her  stories  clothed  with  life  and 
freshness  personalities  which  otherwise  were  only  names  and 
dust. 

To  return  to  the  old  Scottish  lady  of  the  higher  class  of 
Edinburgh  society  of  a  departed  age,  Colonel  Fergusson,  in  his 
recently  published  life  of  the  celebrated  Henry  Erskine,  the 
Lord  Advocate  of  Scotland,  calls  up  a  dream  of  fair  women  of 
the  old  time,  which  we  may,  we  trust,  be  permitted  to  quote. 
Referring  to  the  old  Edinburgh  ball-room,  Colonel  Fergusson 
says  in  his  delightful  volume  : 

"  But  there  can  be  no  doubt  about  the  beauty  of  the  fair 
performers  who  figured  in  such  scenes  as  these  ;  it  might  be  so 
now  if  the  elite  of  the  Scottish  nation  were  to  be  found  in  an 
Edinburgh  ball-room.  Such  an  incident  as  that  recorded  as 
having  been  frequently  witnessed  at  the  period  of  the  West 
Port  balls  will  never,  it  is  feared,  be  seen  again.  Imagine  a 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    LADY.  167 

procession  of  eight  sedan  chairs,  each  with  its  couple  of  liveried 
bearers,  carrying  a  lady  in  full  ball  costume  of  feathers,  sacque, 
etc.,  on  their  way  to  the  Assembly  Rooms.  These  are  the 
seven  lovely  daughters  of  Susannah,  Countess  of  Eglintoun — 
herself  the  loveliest  of  her  daughters — who  are  thus  conveyed  to 
the  ball-room  in  broad  daylight.  Great  is  the  excitement  as 
the  procession,  emerging  from  Lady  Eglintoun's  house  in  the 
Canongate,  threads  its  way  up  the  crowded  High  Street  till  it 
reaches  the  Assembly  Rooms  hard  by  the  house  of  the  infamous 
Major  Weir,  half-way  down  the  steep  street  leading  to  the 
Grassmarket.  But  a  scene  still  more  striking  and  picturesque 
was  witnessed  when  these  fair  ladies  returned  from  the  ball 
with  the  addition  of  flaming  torches,  and  to  each  chair  a  gen- 
tleman in  attendance,  drawn  sword  in  one  hand,  and  hat  obse- 
quiously held  in  the  other,  according  to  custom,  to  guard  the 
party  till  they  descend  at  their  house  in  the  aristocratic  neigh- 
borhood of  Jack's  Land.  As  this  goodly  caravan  wends  its 
way  down  the  slopes  of  the  Canongate,  with  wealth  of  cackle 
and  silvery  laughter  over  incidents  of  the  ball,  what  fitter  sub- 
ject for  a  last  century  picture  than  such  a  combination  or 
sedans,  torches,  swords,  cocked  hats,  and  full-dressed  wigs, 
with  flashes  from  bright  eyes  more  deadly  than  from  the 
swords,  while  from  under  the  outside  stairs  the  aroused  swine 
stare  forth  in  wonder.  Susannah,  Countess  of  Eglintoun,  had 
the  remarkable  distinction  of  being  the  only  person  in  Scotland 
who  kissed  Dr.  Johnson.  Her  ladyship  was  vastly  pleased 
with  his  opinions  and  genteel  conversation.  Xature  had  almost 
surpassed  herself  when  she  turned  out  this  bevy  of  fair  dames. 
Moreover,  from  her  ample  stores  she  had  provided  a  product — 
a  cosmetic — which  should  have  the  effect  of  conserving  her 
handiwork  in  its  original  loveliness — it  was  sow's  milk.  With 
one  exception  all  these  ladies  made  good  marriages.  This 

same  nature  delights  in  contrasts.  Erskine,  of ,  in  the  south 

country,  had  several  hard-favored  daughters.  After  him  his 
comely  widow  '  enjoyed  '  two  other  husbands,  while  not  one 
of  the  girls  went  off.  The  scene  where  the  young  ladies  stand 


IBS  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

around  busking  their  buxom  mother  for  her  third  wedding  is  a 
subject  for  reflection.  '  How  strange  it  seems,  my  dears,'  said 
the  bride,  '  that  I  should  be  married  a  third  time  before  one  of 
you  has  been  married  once/'  'This,'  remarks  the  good  old 
lady  who  relates  the  incident,  '  is  perhaps  Scotch  wit — which 
usually  has  a  spice  of  savagery  in  it. '  "  * 

And  this  chapter  shall  not  close  without  some  verses  in  which 
the  charming  Scottish  poet,  Dr.  Walter  Smith,  beneath  the 
portrait  of  Miss  Penelope  Leith,  delineates  the  oddities  and 
contradictions  in  the  character  of  the  old  Scottish  lady  : 

"  Never  to  her  the  new  day  came, 

Or  if  it  came  she  would  not  see  ; 
This  world  of  change  was  still  the  same 

To  our  old-world  Penelope  ; 
New  fashions  rose,  old  fashions  went, 

But  still  she  wore  the  same  brocade, 
"With  lace  of  Valenciennes  or  Ghent, 

More  dainty  by  her  darning  made. 
A  little  patch  upon  her  face, 

A  tinge  of  color  on  her  cheek, 
A  frost  of  powder  just  to  grace 

The  locks  that  time  began  to  streak. 

"  A  stately  lady  ;  to  the  poor 

Her  manner  was  without  reproach  ; 
But  from  the  Causeway  she  was  sure 

To  snub  the  Provost  in  his  coach. 
In  pride  of  birth  she  did  not  seek 

Her  scorn  of  upstarts  to  conceal, 
But  of  a  baillie's  wife  would  speak 

As  if  she  bore  the  fisher's  creel. 
She  said  it  kept  them  in  their  place, 

Their  fathers  were  of  low  degree  ; 
She  said  the  only  saving  grace 

Of  upstarts  was  humility. 

*  "  The  Honorable  Henry  Erskine,  Lord  Advocate  of  Scotland, 
with  Notices  of  Certain  of  his  Kinsfolk  and  of  his  Time,"  by  Lieut. 
Colonel  Alex.  Fergusson.  (William  Blackwood.) 


THE    OLD   SCOTTISH    LADY.  169 

"  The  quaint  old  Doric  still  she  used, 

And  it  came  kindly  from  her  tongue  ; 
And  oft  the  '  kinsfolk  '  she  abused, 

Who  mincing  English  said  or  sung. 
She  took  her  claret,  nothing  loth, 

Her  snuff  that  one  small  nostril  curled  ; 
She  might  rap  out  a  good  round  oath, 

But  would  not  mince  it  for  the  world  : 
And  yet  the  wild  word  sounded  less 

In  that  Scotch  tongue  of  other  days  ; 
'Twas  just  like  her  old-fashioned  dress, 

And  part  of  her  old-fashioned  ways.  * 

"  She  loved  a  bishop  or  a  dean, 

A  surplice  or  a  rocket  well, 
At  all  the  Church's  feasts  was  seen, 

And  called  the  kirk,  conventicle  ; 
Was  civil  to  the  minister, 

But  stiff  and  frigid  to  his  wife, 
And  looked  askance,  and  sniffed  at  her, 

As  if  she  lived  a  dubious  life. 
But  yet  his  sick  her  cellars  knew, 

Well  stored  from  Portugal  or  France, 
And  many  a  savory  soup  and  stew 

Her  gamebags  furnished  to  the  manse. 

*'  Her  politics  were  of  the  age 

Of  Claverhouse  or  Bolingbroke  ; 
Still  at  the  Dutchman  she  would  rage, 

And  still  of  gallant  Grahame  she  spoke. 
She  swore  'twas  right  that  Whigs  should  die 

Psalm  snivelling  in  the  wind  and  rain, 
Though  she  would  ne'er  have  harmed  a  fly 

For  buzzing  on  the  window  pane. 
And  she  had  many  a  plaintive  rhyme 

Of  noble  Charlie  and  his  men  ; 
For  her  there  was  no  later  time, 

All  history  had  ended  then. 

"  The  dear  old  sinner  !  yet  she  had 
A  kindly  human  heart,  I  wot ; 
And  many  a  sorrow  she  made  glad, 
And  many  a  tender  mercy  wrought ; 


170  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

And  though  her  way  was  somewhat  odd, 

Yet  in  her  way  she  feared  the  Lord, 
%  And  thought  she  best  could  worship  God 

By  holding  Pharisees  abhorred, 
By  being  honest,  fearless,  true, 

And  thorough  both  in  word  and  deed, 
And  by  despising  what  is  new, 

And  clinging  to  her  old-world  creed." 


CHAPTER  X. 

SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY. 

PROVERBS  constitute  the  great  volume  of  folk-lore  in  almost 
all  nations  ;  they  are  the  granite  flooring,  the  underlying  strata, 
upon  which  rises,  and,  indeed,  out  of  which  is  built,  the  mind 
of  a  people.  The  proverbs  of  i  nation  are  the  great  book  out 
of  which  it  is  easy  to  read  its  character.  French  or  Spanish, 
Chinese  or  Hindoo,  the  idiosyncrasy  of  a  people  may  be  tested 
by  the  national  proverb.  No  doubt,  as  a  nation  increases  in 
culture,  and  in  what  is  called  the  refinement  of  social  manners, 
the  proverb  dissolves  and  dissipates  like  the  ripened  poetry  of 
a  country,  the  philosophy  of  life  becomes  less  axiomatic  and 
proverbial,  and  more  diffuse.  It  might  naturally  be  supposed 
that  with  a  people  whose  national  characteristics  are  so  marked, 
so  sharply  and  distinctly  defined  as  the  Scotch,  proverbs  would 
form  a  large  department  of  literature,  when  efforts  were  made 
to  gather  them  up,  and  group  and  classify  them  ;  and  it  is  so. 
This  "  wit  of  the  one,  and  wisdom  of  the  many,"  as  the  prov- 
erb has  been  so  admirably  defined — these  gold-headed  nails  of 
speech — are  very  abundant,  and  from  time  to  time  men  have  ap- 
peared who  have  put  almost  the  labor  of  a  life  into  the  accumu- 
lation. After  all  that  has  been  done  in  this  way,  perhaps  one  of 
the  earliest  collections — that  by  James  Kelly,  M.A.  (1721) — is, 
on  the  whole,  the  best.  Lord  Bacon's  well-known  saying  that 
"  the  genius,  wit,  and  spirit  of  a  nation  are  discovered  in  their 
proverbs,"  finds  remarkable  illustration  here.  That  can 
scarcely  be  said  now  which  Kelly  remarked  in  his  day  : 
"  Among  others,  the  Scots  are  wonderfully  given  to  their  way 
of  speaking,  and,  as  the  consequence  of  that,  abound  with 
proverbs,  many  of  which  are  very  expressive,  quick,  and  home 


172  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

to  the  purpose  ;  and  indeed,  this  humor  prevails  universally 
over  the  whole  nation,  especially  among  the  better  sort  of  the 
community,  none  of  whom  will  discourse  you  any  reasonable 
time,  but  he  will  confirm  every  assertion  and  observation  with 
a  Scottish  proverb." 

There  is  some  difference  between  those  proverbs  derived  from 
the  Gaelic  and  the  Lowland  Scotch  ;  the  first  are  like  the  peo- 
ple, more  melancholy,  simple,  and  superstitious.  "  One  dog  is 
the  better  for  seeing  another  dog  hanged"  is  characteristic.  The 
Scottish  proverbs  are  humorous,  shrewd,  figurative,  rustic,  and 
predatory.  "He  that  cheats  me  aince  (once)  shame  fa  him  ; 
but  he  that  cheats  me  twice  shame  fa  me,"  is  very  national. 
"Diny  down  the  nests  and  the  rooks  will  flee  awa,"  gave  an 
edge  to  the  wrath  of  Covenanters  and  Cameronians  ;  indeed,  it 
would  be  easy  to  show  how  Scotland  is  embodied  in  her  popu- 
lar sayings. 

And  no  doubt  the  love  of  the  proverb  lingers  still,  but  it  is 
true  that  the  age  of  the  proverb  has  passed,  or  is  rapidly  pass- 
ing, when  the  archaeologists  of  letters  make  them  a  grave  mat- 
ter of  study,  and  seek  to  collect  them  into  books.  Of  the  col- 
lections, however,  in  this  way,  old  friend  Kelly's  is  the  best 
among  the  old,  and  Alexander  Hislop's  seems  to  us  certainly 
the  best  among  the  new.  Another  collection  by  Andrew 
Henderson,  with  an  introduction  by  William  Motherwell,  the 
well-known  Scotch  poet,  while  it  is  usually  regarded  as  very 
scarce,  and  fetches  many  times  the  price  of  either  of  the  others, 
seems  to  us  really  far  inferior.  No  doubt  its  value  is  greatly 
derived  from  William  Motherwell's  introductory  essay,  but 
even  that  is  far  below  his  literary  character  ;  he  only  tells  one 
story  where  he  ought  to  have  told  at  least  a  hundred,  but  his 
one  story  is  a  droll  one.  A  friend  of  Motherwell's  piqued 
himself  upon  his  store  of  proverbial  colloquialisms  ;  he  was 
always  ready,  upon  every  occasion  and  in  all  conversations,  to 
pour  out  a  broadside  of  rusty  saws  or  proverbial  rhymes  ;  he 
was  always  accumulating  and  collecting  these  quaint  oddities 
of  ancient  wisdom,  so  that  he  scarcely  ever  had  a  card  or  piece 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  173 

of  paper  in  his  pocket  upon  which  some  such  stray  gathering 
was  not  written.  On  one  occasion,  invited  to  a  large  party  at 
the  house  of  a  friend,  a  misunderstanding  arose  between  the 
proverb  collector  and  another  gentleman  which  ended,  as  was 
too  frequently  the  case  in  that  old  day,  with  an  irritated  and 
ominous  exchange  of  cards  between  the  two  gentlemen,  and 
they  parted  for  the  night.  The  next  morning,  when  he  who 
was  wroth  with  the  man  of  proverbs  examined  the  card  for  the 
purpose  of  learning  the  address  of  his  antagonist  of  the  preced- 
ing evening,  and  desirous  of  refreshing  at  once  his  memory  and 
his  irritation,  he  found  nothing  belonging  either  to  name  or 
place,  only  on  one  side  inscribed  in  good  legible  characters, 
"Naething  should  be  done  in  a  hurry  but  catching  fleas."  The 
effect  was  irresistible,  the  proverb  became  a  peacemaker.  The 
anger  melted  into  good  humor,  and  instead  of  one  or  the  other 
of  two  valuable  lives  being  sacrificed  to  a  foolish  whim,  a 
mutual  friendliness  was  brought  about  by  the  intervention  of 
a  droll  aphorism. 

The  old  Scottish  novelists,  and  especially  the  great  Sir  Wal- 
ter, abound  in  the  appropriation  of  proverbs.  Scott  constantly 
dovetails  proverbs  into  the  homely  speech  of  almost  all  his 
humbler  characters.  That  canny  Scot,  Andrew  Fairservice,  in 
"  Rob  Roy,"  often  illumined  the  paths  of  his  piety  by  a  prov- 
erb. "  If  ye  dinna  think  me  fit,"  said  Andrew,  in  a  huff,  "  to 
speak  like  ither  folk,  gie  me  my  wages  and  my  board  wages, 
and  I'll  gae  back  to  Glasgow.  '  There"1  s  sma  sorrow  at  our 
pairting,  as  the  auld  mare  said  to  the  broken  carl. '  '  For 
proverbs,  no  doubt,  as  we  have  already  said,  find  their  largest 
reception  and  application  among  the  humbler,  and  those  who 
are  spoken  of  as  the  unlettered,  classes.  To  them,  as  has  been 
said  by  Motherwell,  "  proverbs  are  a  kind  of  metaphysical  lan- 
guage which  stands  as  a  substitute  for  philosophical  principles. 
Men  of  education  express  their  ideas  in  their  own  words,  per- 
haps, sometimes,  and  often  in  inferior  words  ;  the  uneducated 
man  uses  those  traditional  forms  which  custom  and  daily  use  have 
made  familiar  to  him,  and  when  a  remark  needs  confirmation 


174  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

he  clenches  it  by  a  proverb."  Thus,  in  "  Rob  Roy,"  from 
which  we  have  already  quoted,  "  The  Deacon  used  to  say  to 
me,  '  Nick — young  Nick  ' — his  name  was  Nicol  as  well  as 
mine,  sae  folk  ca'd  us  in  their  daffin  '  Young  Nick  and  auld 
Nick  ' — '  Nick,'  said  he,  '  never  put  your  arm  out  farther  than 
ye  can  draw  it  easily  back  again. '  '  And  the  same  moral  is 
conveyed,  perhaps,  in  that  other  proverb  :  "JWer  let  your  feet 
run  faster  than  your  shoon." 

Even  ordinary  idiomatic  phrases  have  something  of  this  char- 
acter. The  designation,  "Aye,  he's  a  ne'er-do-weel,"  and  that 
other,  "  I  canna  be  fashed"  (that  is,  troubled),  as  in  the  story 
of  the  old  lady  who  was  asked  how  the  old  gentleman  (her  hus- 
band) was — he  was  ninety-three  years  of  age — she  replied, 
"  Weel,  I  can  scarcely  tell  ye,  for  I  am  fairly  fashed  wi'  him, 
for  he'll  neither  leeve  nor  dee  !"  Perhaps  our  readers  will  see 
here  an  illustration  of  that  French  relationship  to  the  Scotch, 
to  which  we  have  referred  some  papers  back,  and  find  for  the 
Scottish  word  "  fash"  a  French  parentage  in  the  French  verb 
"fdcher." 

It  is  not  too  much  to  say  that  the  spirit  of  the  proverb  seems 
as  if  it  were  essentially  inherent  in  the  Scottish  character. 
There  are  many  natural  reasons  for  this.  It  is  a  character 
made  up,  as  Thomas  Carlyle  says,  of  strong  Saxon  stuff, 
interpenetrated  everywhere  with  the  Presbyterian  gospel  of 
John  Knox  :  a  sense — very  frequently  a  kind  of  grim,  sour 
sense — of  the  infiniteness  of  the  universe  has  made  itself 
felt  even  by  almost  every  denizen  of  the  humblest  cottage 
home  ;  a  sense  that  life  is  no  place  for  a  midsummer's  night 
dream  or  a  May  day  holiday,  but  a  sphere  for  earnest  labor, 
and  demanding  for  conquest  and  overcoming  a  strong  hand  and 
a  strong  head,  a  stout  will  with  clear  practical  shrewdness  ; 
with  this  has  become  conjoined  in  the  character,  or  certainly 
was  so  in  times  not  far  remote,  a  really  devout  and  reverential 
nature,  through  which  thought  has  been  wakened  and  con- 
science quickened.  A  rare  sense  of  humor  has  received  some 
sombre  shades  from  the  universal  feeling  that  human  life,  as  it 


SCOTTISH    PKOVKIU5IAL    PHILOSOPHY.  175 

is  God -given,  so  also  it  is  God-commissioned  and  commanded, 
and  thus  a  sense  of  its  mystery  and  awfulness  over-canopies  it 
all. 

We  have  made  the  remark  before,  and  perhaps  in  these 
papers  it  is  a  very  palpable  and  obvious  remark  to  make,  that 
there  is  an  eminent  likeness,  we  have  no  doubt  a  real  relation- 
ship to  and  between  the  Scottish — of  course  we  mean  especially 
the  Lowland  Scotch — and  the  Danish  and  Swedish  characters, 
more  particularly  the  Danish.  No  doubt  the  Lowland  Scot  is 
a  branch  of  the  Scandinavian  stem.  The  fine  Danish  proverbs 
are  very  like  those  of  Scotland  in  their  character.  Let  us  take 
a  few  :  ' '  The  Lord  will  not  fail  to  come  though  He  may  not 
come  on  horseback  ;"  "  Under  white  ashes  often  lie  glowing  em- 
bers ;"  "  You  may  often  feel  that  heavily  on  your  back  which 
you  took  lightly  on  your  conscience  ;"  "  '  Peter,  Pm  taking  a 
ride,J  said  the  goose,  when  the  fox  was  running  into  the  wood 
with  her  ;"  "  When  joy  is  in  the  parlor  sorrow  is  in  the  pas- 
sage ;"  "A  headless  army  fights  badly  /' '  '  'He  who  would  make 
a  fool  of  himself  will  find  a  good  many  people  to  help  him  ;" 
"  The  foot  of  the  farmer  manures  the  field  ;"  "  He  is  nearest  to 
God  who  has  fewest  wants  ;"  "  He  is  young  enough  who  has 
health,  and  he  is  rich  enough  who  has  no  debts."  We  need  not 
extend  our  quotations,  although  we  have  an  affluent  supply  be- 
fore us.  The  spirit  of  all  these  Danish  proverbs  is  very  like 
that  which  we  recognize  in  the  Scottish. 

The  Scottish  character  has  a  strong,  terse,  idiomatic  way  of 
expressing  itself.  We  have  referred  to  Sir  Walter's  knowledge 
of  Scotch  proverbs,  and  the  easy,  happy  way  in  which  he  in- 
troduces a  number  of  these  old-world  sayings  ;  but  it  is  really 
sometimes  difficult  without  knowledge  to  discriminate  the 
proverb  quoted  from  the  entire  speech  of  which  it  forms  a 
part  ;  the  same  remark  applies  to  the  domestic  novels  of  John 
Gait  ;  and,  not  to  stay  to  illustrate  this,  the  proverbial  power 
of  the  Scotch  character  is  seen  in  other  of  its  great  writers. 
Many  of  the  words  of  Burns  have  become  proverbs  : 


176  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  The  best  laid  schemes  of  mice  and  men  gang  aft  a-gley  !" 
"  A  man's  a  man  for  a'  that !' ' 

"  Oh  wad  some  power  the  giftie  gie  us,  to  see  ourselves  as  ithers  see 
us !" 

"  An  atheist's  laugh  's  a  poor  exchange  for  Deity  offended." 
"  A  correspondence  fixed  with  Heaven  is  sure  a  noble  anchor." 

Burns  abounds  in  such  reraemberable  proverbial  sentences, 
more  or  less  well  known.  But  from  the  works  of  Thomas 
Carlyle  might  be  gathered,  we  suppose,  a  larger  collection  of 
genuine  proverbs  illustrative  of  the  Scottish  mind  than  from 
any  other  writer  whom  we  could  quote.  ''''How  long  the  rotten, 
will  hold  together  if  you  do  not  handle  it  roughly  ;"  "  To  the 
blind  all  things  are  sudden  ;"  "  Whoever  is  not  a  hammer  must 
be  an  anvil  ;"  "  The  beggarliest  truth  is  better  than  the  royalist 
lie;"  "  Wisdom  is  folly  which  is  wise  only  behindhand."  The 
whole  style  of  Carlyle  may  be  said  to  be  made  up  of  thoso 
winged  words,  those  sharp,  short,  rememberable  sentences  we 
call  proverbs,  like  his  definition  of  democracy,  that  it  means 
"  government  by  blindman's-buff. "  The  great  famous  writers 
of  Scotland  thus  illustrate  in  a  remarkable  manner  the  pro- 
verbial philosophy,  the  condensed  wisdom,  of  the  nation. 

Our  paper  will  not  be  as  entertaining  as  was  many  a  meeting 
of  shepherds  among  the  hills  in  the  old  time,  where,  as  the 
poet  Ramsay  says,  it  was  the  custom  to  exercise  the  memory 
by  keeping  up  a  conversation  "  with  these  guid  auld  says  that 
shine  with  wail'd  (choice)  sense,  and  will  as  long  as  the  world 
wags."  The  soul  of  conversation  was  sustained  and  kept  alive 
by  old  proverbs  ;  and  so,  before  books  became  general,  it  is 
testified  that,  not  many  years  ago,  it  was  the  common  pastime 
of  a  winter's  night  to  while  the  time  away  by  repeating  prov- 
erbs and  illustrating  them  by  personal  tales  and  family  experi- 
ences, or  illuminating  them  by  suggestive  songs  and  ballads  ; 
this,  however,  was  before  the  schoolmaster  was  abroad.  But 
indeed  the  schoolmaster  was  abroad  then,  and  his  school  was 
by  the  ingleside.  Not  unprofitable,  we  fancy,  would  it  have 
been  to  have  listened  to  the  sharp  sayings  in  one  of  those 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  177 

Nuctes  among  the  hills,  long  before  the  jovial  nights  of  Chris- 
topher North  and  the  Ettrick  Shepherd  ;  lessons  of  wisdom 
quaintly  uttered,  and  derived  not  from  books  but  from  the  lone 
ways  among  the  hillsides  and  from  intercourse  with  men  in 
daily  life  ;  not,  perhaps,  that  they  were  all  so  wise  :  such,  for 
instance,  as  that  very  questionable  one,  "Do  a  man  a  good  turn 
and  he'll  ne'er  forgie  you,"  the  proverb  which  Scott  has  turned 
to  such  powerful  use  in  "  The  Pirate."  "  '  Are  you  mad? ' 
cried  Brice  Snailsfoot,  '  you  that  lived  sae  lang  in  Zetland  to 
risk  the  saving  of  a  drowning  man  ?  Wot  ye  not,  if  you  bring 
him  to  life  again,  he  will  be  sure  to  do  you  some  capital 
injury?'  " 

No  doubt,  in  the  quiet  and  measured  cadence  with  which 
these  proverbs  were  uttered,  we  can  often  perceive  a  strong 
consciousness  of  the  superiority  of  the  Scotch,  reminding  us  of 
the  gardener  who,  when  asked  by  his  master,  an  English  squire, 
how  he  liked  the  English,  replied,  "  Weel,  sir,  being  frae 
1  uiine,  and  amang  the  English,  I  find  nae  great  faut  in  them  ; 
but  I  maun  mak  this  remark,  that  for  ministers,  or  gardeners, 
or  onything  needin'  hede  (head)  wark,  ye  maun  come  to  us  in 
the  North." 

A  strong  fatalism  runs  also  along  many  of  these  proverbs  ; 
the  very  word  "  weird,"  so  thoroughly  Scotch,  has  an  ominous 
and  mystic  tone  in  it.  "A  man  may  woo  where  he  will,  but 
must  toed  where  his  weird  is  ;"  "  We  can  a'  shape  our  coat  but 
we  canna  shape  our  weird;"  "Every  man  has  his  weird,  and 
we  mun  a'  dee  when  our  day  comes."  It  is  easy  to  feel  some- 
thing of  the  tingling  sensations  which  the  commentaries  and 
illustrative  stories  for  such  proverbs  as  these  would  awaken  in 
nights  in  far  remote  places,  before  ghosts  had  been  laid  by 
learned  discourses  on  natural  magic,  demonology,  and  witch 
craft.  The  greater  number  of  these  proverbs,  however,  are  les- 
sons on  the  prudent  side  of  life  :  "They  mun  hunger  in  frost 
that  winna  wark  in  sunshine;"  "An  idle  brain's  the  devil's 
workshop  ;"  "All  the  speed's  not  in  the  spurs  ;"  "A  wee  house 
has  a  wide  mouth;"  "The  feathers  carried  away  the  flesh." 


178  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Of  course  we  have  plenty  of  humor  among  these  proverbs,  and 
when  there  was  more  disposition  for  business  than  devotion  it 
•was  somewhat  grimly  expressed  by  that  one,  "/  wad  rather  be 
your  Bible  than  your  horse  ;"  and  the  disposition  to  serve  the 
two  masters  was  satirized  in  that  "  'It's  always  weel  to  be 
ceevil,'  as  the  auld  wifie  said  when  she  made  a  courtesy  to  the 
de'il."  Unprofitable  ministers  came  in  for  some  of  these  say- 
ings. A  country  farmer  would  say,  after  he  had  listened  to 
the  exhortation  of  a  very  poor  preacher,  "Ye've  put  a  loom 
(empty)  spune  in  my  mouth.'1''  Of  course  the  dryness  of  the 
humor  is  proverbial.  "  Three  are  ahvays  good  to  keep  a  secret 
when  two  are  awa' ;"  and  some  have  a  very  odd  ring,  like  '•''The 
clartier  (dirtier)  the  cosier,"  that  is,  the  more  comfortable. 
We  may  believe  that  Scotland  has  reformed  this  altogether. 

Not  the  least  interesting  are  those  proverbs  which  refer  to 
that  awful  person,  the  Devil,  and  they  are  usually  very  sugges- 
tive. We  find  a  number  of  them  :  "The  De'iFs  a  busy  bishop 
in  his  diocese  ;"  "The  De'il's  journeyman  never  wants  ivork  ;" 
"  The  De'il's  aye  (always)  gude  to  his  ain  ;"  "  The  De'il's  ower 
grit  (too  familiar)  wi'  you  ;"  "The  De'il's  bairns  hae  (have) 
aye  (always)  their  daddy's  luck;"  "The  De'il  always  drives 
his  pigs  to  a  bad  market ;"  "  The  De'il  gaes  (goes)  aioay  when 
he  finds  the  door  stecket  (shut)  against  him  ;"  "If  ye  follow  the 
De'il  ye'll  even  gang  to  the  De'il."  A  questionable  pleasure  or 
adornment  is  ridiculed  in  that  proverb,  "  '  They're  curly  and 
they're  crookit,'  as  the  De'il  said  to  his  horns;"  or,  in  that 
other,  "  'Are  they  not  a  bonny  pair  ? '  as  the  De'il  said  to  his 
hoofs."  One  would  suppose  that  with  all  the  alleged  Scottish 
love  for  litigation,  there  was  a  furtive  suspicion  of  lawyers 
from  that  proverb,  "  '  Hame  is  hamely,'  as  the  De'il  said  when 
he  found  himself  in  the  laio  court." 

Many  others  were  not  quite  so  unexceptionable  as  those  we 
have  quoted,  against  which,  we  should  think,  the  most  fastidi- 
ous taste  can  have  nothing  to  urge  either  on  the  score  of  de- 
cency or  devotion. 

These  old  fathers,  according  to  their  proverbs,  believed  m 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  179 

making  the  earlier  years  to  bear  the  yoke  and  burden  of  life 
rather  than  the  later  ones — "Sharp  sense  gives  a  good  taste  to 
sweetmeats.1"  They  had  a  great  faith  in,  as  they  said,  "  be- 
ginning the  world  at  the  right  end,"  and  there  is  a  story  very 
well  known  which  has  passed  into  a  proverb  as  describing  the 
cause  why  some  came  to  grief  in"  life  :  "He  began  wV  the 
chuckie"  (fowl).  It  is  the  story  of  an  old  pair  who,  by  dint 
of  thrift  and  careful  saving,  had  provided  for  themselves  a 
decent  competency  and  comfort  in  old  age,  and  they  estab- 
lished their  son  Tarn  in  business.  He  seemed  industrious  and 
regular,  but  behold,  in  the  course  of  a  very  little  time,  it  was 
found  that  he  was  doing  ill — was  the  victim,  as  it  was  said,  of 
ill-luck  ;  and  when  a  neighbor  came  to  condole  with  his 
mother,  the  old  lady  said,  "  Ye  see,  our  Tarn  could  mak  siller 
enough,  but  he  could  never  understand  that  pence  mak  pounds  ; 
he  began  the  world  at  the  wrang  end.  Ye  see,  mem,  when 
the  gude  man  and  me  began  the  wurld  thegither,  we  were  just 
as  bare  as  weel  could  be — hardly  ae  saxpence  to  rub  against 
anither  ;  but  we  contented  ourselves  wi'  a  drap  parritch  and 
milk  i'  the  morning,  a  herring  and  a  potato  or  sae  to  our  din- 
ner, and  our  parritch  at  nicht  again.  By  and  by  we  began  to 
mak  a  little  ;  then  we  had  some  gude  broth  and  meat  at  dinner- 
time, and  after  that  a  wee  we  ventured  on  a  drap  tea  in  the 
morning.  As  things  got  better  wi'  us,  the  gude  man  wad 
whiles  send  hame  a  lamb- leg  for  our  Sunday's  dinner,  and, 
odd,  mem,  before  a'  was  dune,  we  used  sometimes  to  treat 
ourselves  to  a  chuckie  ;  now,  ye  see,  mem,  our  Tarn  took  the 
cl^an  contrair  way  o'  going  aboot  things  ;  *'  he  began  w'C  the 
chuckie  !  '  Hence  it  has  been  said  of  many  who,  without 
any  apparent  cause  for  their  bad  success,  are  unable  to  get  their 
head  above  water,  "  they  have  begun  with  the  chuckie," 

Some  proverbs  need  a  knowledge  of  localities  ;  that,  for  in- 
stance, spoken  of  a  crowded  house,  "  It's  like  Craushaw's  Kirk 
— there's  as  mony  dogs  as  folk,  and  neither  room  for  reel  nor 
rock."  Craushaw  lies  among  the  Lammermore  hills,  where 
shepherds'  dogs  accompany  llicir  masters  to  church,  and 


180  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

where,  as  the  number  of  shepherds  was  considerable,  the  dogs, 
perhaps,  equalled  in  number  the  more  rational  hearers  of  the 
Divine  Word. 

And  many  of  the  Scottish  proverbs,  perhaps,  like  many 
others,  or,  indeed,  like  innumerable  words,  are  a  kind  of  fossil- 
ized history,  and  we  must  'know  the  circumstance  in  order  to 
understand  the  proverb.  Thus,  "Who  dare  bell  the  cat?"  so 
famous  in  Scotland,  in  addition  to  the  fabulous  illustration  of 
the  Mice  and  the  Cat,  has  an  historical  fact  attached  to  it 
which  is  well  known  in  Scotland.  The  Scottish  nobles  of  the 
time  of  James  III.  proposed  to  meet  at  Stirling  in  a  body  and 
take  Spence,  the  king's  favorite,  and  hang  him.  At  a  prelim- 
inary consultation  Lord  Gray  said,  "  That  is  very  well  said,  but 
who  will  dare  bell  the  cat  ?"  The  Earl  of  Angus  undertook 
the  task,  accomplished  it,  and,  until  his  dying  day,  was  called 
44  Archibald  Bell  -the-Cat." 

There  is  a  cluster  of  proverbs  to  which  we  have  as  yet  made 
no  reference,  which  illustrate  the  spirit  of  a  simple  and  nature- 
loving  people,  such  as  that  in  honor  of  early  rising  :  "ICs  better 
to  hear  the  lark  sing  than  the  mouse  cheep  ;"  or,  "Gang  to  bed 
with  the  lamb  and  rise  with  the  laverock;"  "They  that  rise 
with  the  sun  have  begun  their  work  well.1"  Indeed,  many  of 
the  proverbs,  and  among  these  the  oldest,  have  great  beauty, 
such  as  "Goodness  ne'er  grows  auld,"  and,  "If  a  gude  man 
thrive,  all  thrives  with  him  ;"  and  that  is  a  pretty  one,  "  The 
changing  of  words  is  the  lightening  of  hearts  ;"  and  "Hue  and 
thyme  grow  both  in  the  same  garden. ' '  Nor  ought  we  to  forget 
what,  indeed,  has  been  already  implied,  that  a  devout  religious 
spirit  runs  through  many  of  these  household  saws,  such  as 
"  forsake  not  God  till  ye  can  find  a  better  Master."  At  the 
same  time  very  wise  are  the  hints  as  to  dealings  with  human 
nature  :  "Gi'e  your  tongue  mair  holidays  than  your  head  ;" 
"Meat  feeds,  cloth  clothes,  b^tt  manners  make  the  man  ;"  "Truth 
has  a  gude  face  but  raggit  claes." 

We  have  often  thought  that  if  we  were  called  upon  to  give 
the  proverb  which  reflects  most  completely  the  Scottish  char- 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  181 

acter,  we  should  go  to  that  old  house  in  the  West  Bow  in  Edin- 
burgh, if  it  be  still  standing,  over  which  was  inscribed,  "He  yt 
tholis  overcummis" — "Jfe  that  tholes,"  that  is,  he  that 
endures,  "  overcomes."  It  is  a  fine  proverb  ;  it  is  not  found 
in  all  collections,  even  of  Scottish  proverbs,  but  scarcely  any 
could  more  appropriately  represent  that  steady  and  indomi- 
table tenacity  of  purpose,  that  power  of  holding  on  against 
odds  and  difficulties,  that  power  of  holding  out,  and  against 
hope  believing  in  hope,  which  has  done  so  much,  on  so  many 
shores  and  in  so  many  circumstances,  to  make  the  Scotchman 
successful  and  invincible.  It  is  a  fine  lesson,  too,  for  every 
order  of  life,  and  especially  for  youth,  the  power  of  enduring, 
the  quality  attributed  to  Moses— the  tholing,  the  enduring,  "  as 
seeing  Him  who  is  invisible  ;"  the  quality  enjoined  by  the  old 
soldier  Paul  upon  the  young  soldier  Timothy — the  tholing,  the 
enduring  "  hardness."  It  seems  such  an  eminent  Scottish  vir- 
tue ;  and  the  old  lettering  on  the  house  to  which  we  refer, 
when  Robert  Chambers  with  difficulty  deciphered  it,  he  thought 
could  not  be  more  recent  than  1530.  The  characteristic  has 
descended  from  an  ancient  line.  And  there  is  another  proverb 
like  it,  thoroughly  Scotch,  a  cheerful  reproof  of  despair, 
"  When  ae  door  sleeks  anither  opens" — When  one  door  shuts 
another  opens.  The  whole  fleet  of  life  is  not  lost  in  one  ship 
— The  wealth  of  life  is  not  in  one  venture — is  a  faithful  expos- 
tulation with  an  innate  disposition  to  give  up  and  to  be  down- 
hearted ;  it  seems  to  reason  that  the  very  spring  which  closes 
one  door  may  touch  that  which  opens  another  ;  and  the  prov- 
erb might  be  illustrated  from  many  a  brave  life  which  has  gone 
forth  to  wrestle  with  untoward  elements  from  the  hardy  North- 
ern land. 

Scottish  perseverance  has  itself  become  proverbial  ;  we 
remember  to  have  met  with  a  story  which  is  said  to  be  con- 
nected with  the  foundation  of  an  opulent  mercantile  house 
which  has  flourished  for  some  generations.  Saunders,  the 
traveller,  entered  a  shop  and  inquired  for  the  head  of  the 
house  ;  one  of  the  clerks  asked  what  he  wanted  ;  the  answer 


182  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

of  Saunders  was,  as  usual,  a  question,  "  Want  ye  aught  in  my 
line,  sir  ?"  "  No,"  was  the  prompt  reply,  accompanied  by  a 
look  of  contempt  at  the  itinerant  Scotch  merchant.  ' '  Will  ye 
no  tak'  a  look  o'  the  gudes,  sir  ?"  was  Saunders's  next  query. 
"  No,  not  at  all  ;  I  have  not  time.  Take  them  away — take 
them  away  !"  "  Ye'll  aiblins  (perhaps)  find  them  worth  your 
while,  and  I  doubt  na  but  ye'll  buy,"  said  Saunders  ;  and  he 
proceeded  to  untie  and  unstrap  his  burden.  "  Go  away — go 
away  !"  was  reiterated  half  a  dozen  times  by  the  clerk,  but  the 
persevering  Scot  still  persisted.  "  Get  along,  you  old  Scotch 
fool  !"  cried  the  clerk,  completely  out  of  temper.  Saunders 
looked  up,  and  still  said,  "  An'  wull  ye  really  no  buy  aught  ? 
But  ye  dinna  ken  ;  ye  hae  na  seen  the  gudes  yet."  "  Get  out 
of  the  shop,  sir  !"  was  the  peremptory  command  ;  to  which 
Saunders  replied,  "  Are  ye  in  earnest,  friend?"  "  Yes,  cer- 
tainly," was  the  answer  ;  and  the  reply  was  succeeded  by  an 
unequivocal  proof  of  sincerity,  for  the  clerk  seized  the  bonnet 
of  Saunders,  and  whirled  it  into  the  street.  The  cool  Scotch- 
man walked  gravely  and  deliberately  after  his  head-gear,  picked 
it  up,  gave  it  two  or  three  hearty  slaps  upon  the  wall  before  the 
door,  came  back,  and  said,  ' '  Yon  was  an  ill  bird,  man  ;  ye'll 
surely  tak'  -a  look  at  the  gudes  noo  ?"  The  master  of  the 
establishment  had  been  watching  the  whole  scene,  and  now  he 
stepped  forward,  and,  moved  by  some  compunction  for  the 
treatment  the  traveller  had  received,  and  some  admiration,  too, 
for  the  patience  and  perseverance  of  the  man,  he  consented  to 
look  over  the  contents  of  the  pack,  found  them  to  be  exactly 
the  goods  he  was  in  want  of,  purchased  them  all,  and  gave  a 
very  large  order  ;  and  thus,  says  Chambers,  who  tells  the  story, 
assisted  in  the  foundation  of  a  large  mercantile  house. 

But  is  not  this  the  stuff  of  which  also  the  Livingstones  and 
the  Lawrences  are  made  ?  Was  not  this  the  spirit  which  set 
the  brave  Sir  Walter  Scott  to  work,  when  sinking  into  his  later 
years,  to  overtake  his  fearful  loss  of  £100,000  ?  Is  it  not  a 
commentary  upon  that  especial  proverb  which  we  have  said  so 
illustrates  the  Scottish  character,  "ffe  that  tholes  overcomes1'? 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  183 

A  volume  might  be  filled  with  those  Scottish  proverbs  which 
refer  to  places,  and  which,  arising  in  some  ancient  tradition  or 
circumstance,  cannot  be  appreciated  or  understood  without 
some  knowledge  of  it  ;  thus,  for  instance,  He  has  a  conscience 
is  wide  as  Coldinyham  Common, 

Before  the  year  1703,  Coldingham  moor,  or  common,  was 
an  extensive  or  undivided  waste  of  above  6000  acres.  It  was 
divided  by  a  decree  of  the  court  of  session,  the  15th  January, 
1773,  among  those  heritors  proving  thereto.  Since  that  time, 
several  portions  of  it  have  been  planted  and  cultivated  ;  and 
during  the  last  twenty  years  or  so,  several  feurs  have  taken  up 
their  residence  within  its  bounds,  and  there  protract  an  uncom- 
fortable existence  on  the  scanty  crops  which  it  produces  ;  but 
the  greater  portion  still  is  covered  with  heath,  interspersed 
with  bogs  and  mosses.  It  is  understood  that  there  is  still  about 
4000  acres  of  this  common  in  an  uncultivated  state.  In  ancient 
times,  this  wide  moor  constituted  part  of  the  forest  belonging 
to  the  monastery  of  Coldingham.  It  was  then  mostly  covered 
with  trees  and  brushwood — the  roots  of  oaks,  birch,  and  hazel, 
etc.,  being  still  frequently  found  embedded  in  the  soil — and  the 
peat-mosses  are  full  of  their  decayed  trunks  and  branches. 
This  moor  has  a  singularly  wild,  bleak,  and  dreary  aspect — so 
that  in  the  "  Memoirs  of  Paul  Swanston,"  by  Alexander  Som- 
merville,  the  author  very  appropriately  makes  one  of  his  char- 
acters say,  "  My  heart  was  as  desolate  as  Coldingham  uioor  on 
a  misty  day" — and  this  naked  dreariness,  extending  several 
miles  in  every  direction.  The  proverb  is  very  applicable  to 
those  persons  of  lax  principles,  who  can  accommodate  their 
consciences  to  all  circumstances,  and  which  are  of  a  very  horny 
texture,  and  yet,  like  elastic  gum,  can  stretch  themselves  to  any 
extent.  The  conventional  manners  of  the  day,  the  trade  spirit 
of  the  times  gives  a  sanction  to  untruthf  ulness,  or  laxity  of  con- 
science, under  cover  of  which,  "  men  reputed  for  godliness 
scruple  not  to  take  shelter  ;  promises  made  with  no  intention 
of  performing  them — articles  recommended  in  terms  which  are 
meant  to  produce  an  exaggerated  impression  of  their  value — 


184  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

equivocations  framed  with  a  view  to  mislead — suppressions  of 
known  fact,  the  candid  mention  of  which  might  alter  the  mind 
of  a  purchaser — appearances  assumed  to  impose  upon  the  un- 
wary— tricks  resorted  to  for  making  things  pass  for  what  in  re- 
ality they  are  not — and  numberless  manoeuvres,  in  almost  every 
business,  practised  with  the  design  of  placing  the  seller  in  a 
position  to  the  buyer,  or  vice  versa — these  are  looked  upon  as 
the  piccadilloes  of  trade,  and,  to  their  shame  be  it  spoken,  are 
allowed  to  constitute  part  of  the  daily  conduct  of  men  laying 
claim  to  a  religious  character."  A  trading  spirit  has  a  wide 
conscience.  Too  many  individuals  are  keen  set  in  practising 
chicane  in  their  ordinary  dealings,  and  are  great  adepts  in  the 
little  dirty  tricks  of  bargain-making.  The  pride  or  tact  to  out- 
wit a  purchaser,  and  to  make  what  is  called  a  good  bargain,  or 
to  take  the  advantage  of  some  unsuspecting  person,  is  almost 
universal  in  the  world.  Fair  dealing  is  a  rare  jewel  among 
mankind.  The  horse  couper  or  cow  couper  spirit  is  to  be  found 
in  ten  thousand  instances,  besides  those  respectable  persons 
who  deal  in  horses  or  cows.  We  sometimes  expect  a  better 
spirit  in  those  especially  who  get  the  reputation  of  "  righteous 
men" — but  even  these  can  stretch  their  consciences  as  wide  as 
Coldinaham  Common,  and  sometimes  a  good  deal  wider,  for 
they  set  no  bounds  whatever  to  their  rapacity. 
An  old  proverbial  couplet  says  : 

"  In  the  town  o'  Auchencrow, 
Where  the  witches  bide  a'." 

These  lines  have  long  constituted  a  common  saying  of  obloquy 
or  reproach  against  Auchencrow  (usually  pronounced  Edencraw) 
and  its  inhabitants,  how  much  deserving  of  it  we  do  not  pre- 
tend to  say.  Auchencrow  was  a  queer  place  in  the  days  of  old, 
and  is  supposed  to  have  furnished  its  quota  of  witches,  or  some 
of  those  poor  unfortunate  aged  women,  whom  Home  of  Ren- 
ton,  Sheriff  of  Berwickshire,  caused  to  be  burned  at  Colding- 
ham,  for  being  guilty  of  the  sin  of  witchcraft.  In  the  session 
records  of  Chirnside,  we  find  that,  "in  May,  1700,  Thomas 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL    PHILOSOPHY.  185 

Cook,  servant  in  Blackburn,  was  indicted  for  scoring  ;i  woman 
in  Auchencrow  above  tfie  breath  (that  is,  drawing  a  gash  across 
her  brow),  in  order  to  the  cure  of  a  disease  he  labored  under," 
which  disease  he  imagined  was  caused  through  the  witchcraft 
of  the  woman.  Dr.  Henderson,  in  his  "  Popular  Proverbs  of 
the  County  of  Berwick,"  says  :  "  We  have  been  credibly  in- 
formed, by  an  eye-witness  of  the  fact,  that  the  operation  of 
'  scoring  aboon  the  breath  '  was  inflicted,  or  attempted  to  be 
inflicted,  upon  the  person  of  an  old  woman  of  the  name  of 
Margaret  Girvan,  residing  in  Auchencrow,  so  late  as  the  com- 
mencement of  the  present  century.  This  atrocious  deed  was 
done  by  a  neighboring  laird,  because  he  imagined  that  the  poor 
woman,  who  was  gleaning  in  his  fields  at  the  time,  was  guilty 
of  raising  a  wind  to  shake  his  corn  !"  Auchencrow,  about  the 
beginning  of  this  century,  was  a  famed  seat  of  learning,  Mr. 
John  Strauchan,  an  eminent  Greek  and  Latin  scholar,  having 
his  school  here,  so  that  Alexander  Hewitt,  a  Berwickshire 
ploughman,  in  an  address  to  Mr.  Strauchan,  says  : 

"  Where  witches  used  to  rant  and  reel 
You've  rear'd  a  college." 

In  the  following  local  rhyme,  an  attempt  has  been  made  to 
depict  some  of  the  doings  of  "  The  Witches  o'  Edencraw"  : 

"  In  langsyne  days,  in  ancient  times, 
When  rang  in  Britain's  Isle  King  James, 
Then  witches  wraught  their  awfu*  crimes 

In  mony  a  house  and  ha' , 
'Mang  they  were  foremost,  say  old  rhymes, 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  They  play'd  wild  pranks  in  bught  and  fauld, 
'Round  wechts  in  barns,  they  danced  bauld, 
In  mirksome  howes,  they  reel'd  and  squall'd, 

And  frighten' d  great  and  sum'  ; 
And  mony  a  saul  to  death  they  haul'd — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 


186  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

"  Wi'  gley'd  laird  Bour,  they  met  and  danc'd, 
And  'bout  the  bourtrees  nightly  pranc'd  ; 
Wi'  carl-cats  they  squeel'd  and  ranc'd 

'Round  the  auld  Castle  wa', 
And  in  the  dark  their  wild  een  glanc'd — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  They  witch 'd  complete  laird  Bogue's  auld  mare. 
That  she  wad  neither  gang  nor  steer, 
And  she  came  down  the  loan  wi'  bere, 

She  flung  the  laird  an'  a', 
And  they  maist  made  him  swarf  wi'  fear — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  As  Robin  Pae  cam  hame  wi'  saut, 
He  saw  a  hare  as  gray's  's  hat, 
Rin  cross  his  path,  and  there  he  swat, 

For  fear  he  maist  did  fa'  ; 
For  aft  was  seen  like  hare  or  cat — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  Poor  Tibby  Redpath's  cow  lay  dead, 
And  she  had  nane  her  cause  to  plead, 
The  cow  was  gane  without  remead, 

The  witches  did  her  thraw, 
And  they  might  hersel'  to  ruin  tread — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  The  gudewife's  butter  wadna  kirn, 
The  gudewife's  milk  it  wadna  yirn  ; 
And  troth,  they  play'd  a  bonny  pirn 

On  decent  Nelly  Shaw, 
They  chang'd  her  woo'  to  clatts  o'  shern — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  A'  night  they  plough'd  the  windy-flat, 
Wi'  thirteen  paddocks  and  a  rat 
Yok'  d  in  a  plough — old  Nick  held  that, 

Seven  warlocks  did  it  ca'  ; 
And  on  the  knowe  a'  girnin'  sat 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  A  feast  was  held  in  Buncle  Kirk, 

Whereat  was  wrought  some  fearfu'  wark 


SCOTTISH    PROVKKBIAL    PHILOSOPHY. 

Wi'  imps  o'  ill  wha  like  the  dark, 

And  spurn  the  auld  gride  law  ; 

And  rndous  wives,  grim,  gaunt,  and  stark — 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

*'  Out  o'  their  graves,  below  the  stanes, 
They  houkit  skulls  wi'  grievous  granes, 
And  wrought  their  cantraips  owre  the  banes, 

Mischief  'mang  men  to  saw — 
A  wicked  crew  —as  ilk  man  kens — 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  Neist  day  the  corn  was  blawn  to  labbs, 
Three  boats  gaed  down  right  off  St.  Abbs, 
And  lang  and  sair,  in  fitful  sabs, 

The  wind  did  furious  blaw  ; 
Yet  merrilie  gaed  the  spitefu'  gabs, 

O'  th'  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  John  Bonner's  house  was  driven  down, 
Poor  John  gat  out  wi'  cracked  crown  ; 
They  hadna  power  to  smoor  or  drown, 

The  honest  man  ava  ; 
And  he  got  free  o'  ilka  loon 

'Mang  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  Bee  Bonner's  swarms  to  cast  were  sweer, 
Frae  his  skeps  his  queens  wad  hardly  steer  ; 
A'  his  bees  grew  drones,  best  time  o'  year, 

And  hive  fought  hive  wi'  ga'  ; 
And  they  stole  and  drank  his  bragwort  beer — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  They  gar'd  Meg  Laudles  hang  hersel' 

Frae  the  kipple-bawks,  and  gang  to  h , 

They  drown 'd  Jean  Dewar  i*  the  meadow  well, 

At  the  mirk  gloamin's  fa'  ; 
And  they  killed  Tom  Hood  wi'  a  knockin-mell 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  Bob  Durno's  loom  wad  work  nae  mair  ; 
The  bull  ran  wud  o'  auld  lair  Fair, 
Laird  Greenfield's  yauds  fell  down  wi'  care, 
When  he  gaed  out  to  saw  ; 


188  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

And  night  and  day  they  fash'd  folk  sair— 
The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  A  big  flesh-boat  wi'  feathers  fu', 
Stood  by  the  side  of  Kigan's  mow, 
To  it  they  Rigan  haul'd  and  drew 

Headforemost,  'gainst  a'  law  ; 
And  conp'd  him  in  like  a  fat  sow — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  He  had  nae  breath  to  squeel  or  roar — 
Some  wicked  randies  ranc'd  the  door, 
They  guddled  him  till  he  a'  was  gore, 

And  left  him  wi'  a  flaw — 

But  the  vile  hags  will  ne'  er  sae  glore — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  As  cooper  Tom  ae  night  when  late, 
Gaed  owre  the  myre  for  howdie  Kate, 
Aff 's  naig  he  fell,  and  lost  the  gate, 

And  deils  and  ghaists  he  saw, 
And  they  gar'd  him  maist  lose  his  mate — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  On  auld  broom-besoms,  and  ragweed  naigs, 
They  flew  owre  burns,  hills,  and  craigs, 
To  spread  their  devilry  and  plagues, 

And  make  this  life  a  staw  ; 
And  play'd  on  rich  and  poor  their  flegs — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  Some  o'  thae  hags  they  burn'd  to  dead, 
High  up  on  Sheilup-dikes  knowe-haad, 
And  some  aboon  the  breatk  did  bleed, 

In  yonder  reeky  raw  ; 
For  in  a'  ill  they  took  the  lead — 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  But  at  the  length  some  light  arose, 
And  scarce  a  witch  durst  show  her  nose, 
Meg  Girvan's  days  in  storm  did  close — 

She  was  the  last  o'  a'. 
And  ne'er  again  will  be  our  foes 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 


SCOTTISH    PROVERBIAL   PHILOSOPHY.  189 

"  Wi'  's  Greek  and  Latin  Strauchan  came, 
Thae  ill-gien  witches  a'  to  tame, 
And  Boag  shed  light  on  mony  a  hame, 

Frae  his  auld  Gramman  Ha  : 
But  now  they're  only  ken'd  in  raeme— 

The  witches  o'  Edencraw. 

"  And  now,  on  earth  nae  witch  surpasses, 
Siller,  drink,  and  bonny  lasses, 
Thae  witch  wise  men  and  silly  asses, 

To  mony  a  fatal  fa'  ; 
And  bring  on  us  far  waur  distresses 

Than  the  witches  o'  Edencraw." 


CHAPTER    XI. 

THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    SABBATH. 

MANY  severe  things  have  been  said  concerning  the  old  Scot- 
tish Sabbath,  and  many  stories  told  in  profane  ridicule  of  the 
Scotch  idea  of  the  Day  of  Rest  ;  but  the  reader  may  find  from 
some  pens,  and  in  some  places  where  he  would  not  expect  such 
words,  commendations,  all  tending  to  show  that  the  rest  of  the 
day  has  woven  itself  tenderly  into  the  hearts  of  the  people. 
Shall  we  give  Christopher  North,  or  the  Ettrick  Shepherd,  the 
credit  of  the  words  in  the  "  Noctes"  ? 

"  A  day  set  apart  from  secular  concerns,  and,  as  far  as  may 
be,  from  the  secular  feelings  that  cling  to  them,  even  in 
thought,  has  a  prodigious  power,  sirs,  ower  a'  that  is  divine  in 
our  human.  It  is  as  if  the  sun  rose  more  solemnly,  yet  not 
less  sweetly,  on  the  Sabbath  morning,  and  a  profounder  still- 
ness pervaded  not  the  earth  only,  but  also  the  sky.  The  mair 
Christian  the  people,  the  mair  Christian  the  Sabbath  ;  there- 
fore, let  the  Sabbath  be  kept  holy,  as  I  believe  it  to  be  in  Scot- 
land, and  then  the  blessing  of  God  will  be  upon  her  ;  and  as 
she  is  good,  so  shall  she  wax  great." 

Dr.  Guthrie  hits  the  truth  of  the  Scottish  Sabbath  when  he 
says,  "  Our  ancestors  might  be  too  scrupulous,  but  whatever 
they  were,  they  were  not  fools.  I  don't  say  they  did  not  fall 
into  even  glaring  inconsistencies."  And  then  he  mentions 
how,  on  first  going  to  Ross-shire  to  visit  and  preach  for  his 
friend,  Mr.  Garment,  of  Ross  Keen,  he  asked  him  on  the  Sat- 
urday evening  before  retiring  to  rest  whether  he  "  could  get 
warm  water  in  the  morning,"  whereupon  his  host  held  up  a 
warning  hand,  saying,  "  Whist  !  whist  !"  adding,  with  a 


THE    OLD    SCOTTISH    SABBATH.  191 

twinkle  in  his  eye,  "  Speak  of  shaving  on  the  Lord's  day  in 
Ross-shire,  and  you  need  never  preach  here  any  more. ' ' 

Dr.  Strang,  in  his  "  Clubs  of  Glasgow,"  gives  an  extract 
from  the  journal  of  Mr.  George  Brown,  who  was  educated  in 
the  Glasgow  University,  was  some  time  on  the  town  council, 
and  several  times  Dean  of  Guild.  The  following  extract  gives 
a  picture  of  the  manner  in  which  Sunday  was  spent  in  Glas- 
gow in  those  days  : 

"  Sabbath-day,  Nov.  10th,  1745. — Rose  about  seven  in  the 
morning  ;  called  on  the  Lord  by  prayer  ;  read  the  9th  chapter 
of  Job,  then  attended  to  family  worship,  and  again  prayed  to 
the  Lord  for  His  gracious  presence  to  be  with  me  through  the 
whole  of  the  day,  and  went  to  church  at  ten  of  the  clock  ; 
joined  in  public  prayers  and  praises  in  the  assembly  of  His 
saints  ;  heard  the  17th  chapter  of  Revelation  lectured  upon, 
and  sermon  from  the  81st  Psalm,  13th  and  14th  verses.  In 
the  interval  of  public  service  I  thought  on  what  I  had  heard, 
and  wrote  down  some  of  the  heads  of  it  ;  went  again  to  the 
house  of  the  Lord,  and  heard  sermon  from  the  same  text  ; 
came  home  and  retired,  and  thought  on  the  sermon.  About 
five  at  night  joined  in  family  worship,  and  afterward  supped, 
then  retired  again  and  wrote  down  some  things  I  had  been 
hearing  ;  then  read  the  9th  chapter  of  Romans  and  prayed  ; 
after  this  I  joined  in  social  worship  a  second  time,  and  went 
to  keep  the  public  guard  of  the  city  at  ten  o'clock  at  night." 

Such  was  probably  many  a  Sabbath  in  Glasgow  in  the  old 
time.  Sir  Kenneth  Mackenzie  directed  the  attention  of  Dr. 
Guthrie  to  a  servant-girl  who  astonished  her  master  by  refusing 
to  feed  the  cows  on  the  Sabbath.  She  was  willing  to  milk 
them,  but  would  by  no  means  feed  them  ;  and  her  reasoning 
as  to  acts  of  necessity  and  mercy  was  finely  casuistical.  '  The 
cows,"  she  said,  "  canna  milk  themselves,  so  to  milk  them  is 
a  clear  work  of  necessity  and  mercy  ;  but  let  them  out  to  the 
fields  and  they'll  feed  themselves." 

Very  odd  and  very  severe  are  some  of  the  extracts  which  Dr. 
Strang  gives  in  his  "  Clubs  of  Glasgow  ;"  and  we  find  similar 


SCOTTISH    CHAKACTEKISTICS. 

extracts  in  the  "  History  of  Glasgow"  referring  to  the  observ- 
ance of  the  Sabbath,  especially  in  the  sixteenth  and  seventeenth 
centuries.  "  In  1600  the  session  ordains  the  deacons  of  the 
crafts  to  cause  search  for  the  absents  from  the  kirks  in  their 
crafts  of  all  the  freemen  ;  the  one  half  of  the  fine  to  so  to  the 

D 

kirk  and  the  other  to  the  craft."  The  same  year  searchers  are 
directed  to  pass,  on  the  Sabbath,  into  all  houses  to  apprehend 
absents  from  the  kirk.  In  1642  we  find  an  entry  that  the  ses- 
sion directs  the  magistrates  and  ministers  to  go  through  the 
streets  on  the. Sabbath  nights  to  search  for  persons  who  absent 
themselves  from  kirks,  "  the  town  officers  to  go  through  with 
the  searchers  ;"  and  in  1691,  "  Those  who  wander  on  the  Sab- 
bath or  stand  before  the  door  will  be  called  before  the  session." 

We  read  of  a  Mr.  Andrew  Taylor,  a  good  teacher,  but  who, 
in  his  declining  years,  became  rather  too  fond  of  social  excite- 
ment. He  usually  dined  out  on  Saturday,  and  rarely  found  his 
way  home  by  a  very  direct  route.  One  such  Saturday,  going 
to  bed  well  refreshed,  he  awoke  in  a  hurry  in  the  morning  on 
hearing  the  clock  strike,  and  forgetting  the  day  of  the  week, 
rang  his  bell  violently,  and  upon  his  servant  coming  to  the 
door,  he  cried,  ''Jenny  !  Jenny  !  bring  shaving  water  as  fast 
as  possible.  What  will  the  boys  say,  and  me  no  at  the 
schule?"  "Oh,  Maister  Taylor,"  said  the  girl,  "it's  the 
Saubath-day. "  "  The  Saubath-day  !"  quoth  the  dominie  ; 
"glorious  institution  the  Saubath,  Jenny,"  and  forthwith 
turned  himself  round  for  another  snooze. 

There  is  a  story  told  by  Mr.  Kennedy  in  his  work,  "  The 
Days  of  our  Fathers  in  Ross-shire,"  of  a  worthy  called  the 
"  Penny  Smith,"  and  how  he  reprimanded  the  sheriff  for  tak- 
ing a  walk  on  the  Sabbath  evening.  Meeting  the  sheriff  in  his 
Sabbath  evening  walk,  "  Law-makers  should  not  be  law- 
breakers," said  the  smith  to  him,  as  he  looked  him  boldly  in 
the  face.  "  My  health  requires  that  I  should  take  a  walk, 
Kenneth,"  said  the  sheriff,  by  way  of  excuse.  "  Keep  you 
God's  commandment,  and  you  can  trust  Him  with  the  keeping 
of  your  health,"  was  the  smith's  reply.  "  Accursed  must  be 


THE    OLD   SCOTTISH    SABBATH.  193 

the  health  that  is  preserved  by  trampling  on  the  law  of  God. ' ' 
And,  indeed,  we  read  that  Mr.  Blackburn,  the  grandfather  of 
the  present  Laird  of  Kilearn,  having  been  taken  into  custody 
for  walking  on  the  Glasgow  Green  on  the  Sunday,  brought  an 
action  against  the  magistrates  for  unwarranted  exercise  of 
authority,  and  carried  his  suit  to  the  Court  of  Session,  who  at 
once  decided  against  the  attempt  to  prevent  walking  on  the 
Sunday  either  in  the  streets  or  on  the  green. 

But  the  Scottish  Sabbath  among  the  hills,  in  the  lonely 
glens,  and  solitary  kirkyards,  among  the  moors — the  Scottish 
Communion  Sabbath,  when,  from  far  and  near,  the  worshippers 
and  the  communicants  come — how  many  pens  have  most 
sweetly  described  the  scene  !  By  those  who  know  very  little 
of  the  spirit  of  such  services  and  scenes,  Burns' s  "  Holy  Fair" 
has  been  quoted  as  an  authority  ;  but  it  may  be  sufficient  to 
remember  how  different  is  the  impression  conveyed  in  that 
truly  elevated  and  sacred  poem,  "  The  Cotter's  Saturday 
Night." 

The  Sacrament  was  generally  administered,  did  the  weather 
at  all  permit,  in  the  open  air.  When  the  venerable  and  holy 
Alexander  Waugh  drew  near  to  the  close  of  his  life,  all  his 
young  enthusiasm  revived  if  any  member  of  his  family  recalled 
to  his  memory  the  Communion  Sabbaths  of  his  early  days  on 
Stitchell  Brae.  Lockhart,  whose  pen  we  might  suppose  not 
inclined  to  especially  favorable  words  concerning  the  religious 
habits  of  Scotland,  rises  to  warm  enthusiasm  as  he  remembers 
to  describe  the  Scottish  Sabbath  and  the  Scottish  Sacrament. 
Let  the  reader,  for  instance,  think  of  some  rustic  amphitheatre 
filled  by  a  mighty  congregation  ;  on  the  top  and  brink  of  the 
ravine  the  carriages  of  the  ancient  gentry  ;  the  horses  taken 
away  ;  the  ancient  ladies  of  the  neighborhood  sitting  in  the 
carriages  ;  the  younger  ladies  sitting  on  the  turf  immediately 
below  them  ;  the  old  people  gathered  mostly  together,  the  old 
women  dressed  in  their  clean  white  "  mutches, "  with  black 
ribbon  bound  round  their  heads  ;  some  of  the  more  gently 
born  would  have  some  of  the  relics  of  the  family  of  the  old 


194  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

days,  such  as  a  black  silk  scarf,  or  an  old  silver  brooch,  adorn- 
ments taken  out  of  the  old  family  kist.  What  thankfulness  was 
expressed  if  the  day  was  fine. 

No  pen  has  described  more  tenderly  the  Sacramental  Sabbath 
of  Scotland  than  that  of  Principal  Shairp,  in  his  "  Kilmahoe. " 
His  lines  are  as  graphic  as  the  pictures  of  Tiedeman,  the  great 
painter  of  the  Swedish  Sabbaths,  which  greatly  resemble  the 
Scotch  : 

"  Lull'd  the  sea  this  Sabbath  morning, 

Calm  the  golden-misted  glens, 
And  the  white  clouds   upward  passing 

Leave  unveil' d  the  azure  Bens, 
Altars  pure  to  lift  to  heaven 

Human  hearts'  unheard  amens. 

"  And  the  folk  are  flowing,  flowing, 

Both  from  near  and  far,  enticed 
By  old  wont  and  reverent  feeling, 

Here  to  keep  the  hallowed  tryst, 
This  calm  Sacramental  Sabbath, 

Far  among  the  hills  with  Christ. 

"  Dwellers  on  this  side  the  country 

Take  the  shore-road,  near  their  doors, 

Poor  blue-coated  fishers,  plaided 
Crofters  from  the  glens  and  moors  ; 

Fathers,  mothers,  sons,  and  daughters, 
Hither  trooping,  threes  and  fours. 

"  You  might  see  on  old  white  horses 

Aged  farmers  slowly  ride, 
With  their  wives  behind  them  seated, 

And  the  collie  by  their  side  ; 
While  the  young  folk  follow  after, 

Son  and  daughter,  groom  and  bride. 

"  There  a  boat  or  two  is  coming 

From  lone  isle  or  headland  o'er  ; 

Many  more,  each  following  other, 
Slowly  pull  along  the  shore, 

Fore  and  aft  to  gunwale  freighted 
With  the  old,  the  weak,  the  poor." 


TUB    OLD   SCOTTISH    SABBATH.  195 

The  old  bell  which  had  rung  over  the  silent  fields  ceased  its 
tolling,  and  then  the  service  went  on.  "  Such  prayers  !  such 
sermons  !"  said  old  Alexander  Waugh  ;  "  none  such  to  be 
heard  nowadays  !  It  was  a  scene  on  which  God's  eye  might 
love  to  look.  What  are  your  cathedrals,  your  choirs,  your 
organs  ?  God  laid  the  foundations  of  our  temple  on  the  pillars 
of  the  earth  ;  our  floor  was  nature's  verdant  carpet  ;  our 
canopy  was  the  vaulted  sky,  the  heaven  in  which  the  Creator 
dwells  ;  nature  in  all  the  luxuriance  of  loveliness — the  lowing 
herds,  the  flowers  and  green  fields  offering  their  perfume  ;  and, 
lovelier  still,  and  infinitely  dearor  to  God,  multitudes  of 
redeemed  souls,  and  hearts  purified  by  faith,  singing  His 
praises  in  grave,  sweet  melodies."  The  old  tune,  "  Martyrs," 
was  usually  the  last  psalm  sung  in  the  service  of  the  holy  day. 
It  is  a  great  favorite  over  the  whole  of  the  west  of  Scotland, 
and  was  so  among  the  ancient  Covenanters  ;  its  very  name  is 
derived  from  the  fact  that  it  was  often  sung  by  them  on  the 
way  to  death,  as  the  old  verse  says  : 

"  This  is  the  tune  the  martyrs  sang, 
When  they,  condemned  to  die, 
Did  stand  all  at  the  gallows  tree, 
Their  God  to  glorify." 

That  antique  melody  had  a  wonderful  charm  as  it  fell  over 
the  darkening  fields  ;  there  is  a  breath  of  sober-enduring  hero- 
ism in  its  melancholy  accents  ;  its  murmurs  fall  like  evening 
dews,  and  it  seems  to  breathe  of  the  communion  of  saints  ;  it 
lias  a  kind  of  sunset  glow  in  its  chords,  and  seems  to  connect 
the  living  and  the  dead,  those  who  sit  upon  the  grassy  tombs 
with  those  who  sleep  beneath.  And,  indeed,  the^e  services  are 
derived,  in  the  form  we  have  described,  from  the  old  Cove 
nanter  days,  when  the  best  of  the  nation  had  to  worship  God 
in  the  open  air  ;  when,  not  for  conveniency  but  of  necessity, 
the  psalm '  in  the  wilderness  must  perforce  mingle  with  the 
bleating  of  sheep,  the  wail  of  the  plover,  and  the  cry  of  the 
distant  eagle  ;  with  the  musical  thunder  of  the  cataracts,  and 


196  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

the  gentle  plash  of  the  stream  ;  when  the  voice  of  the  preacher 
was  heard  under  the  blue  dome  of  the  sky  overhead,  in  some 
sequestered  glen,  or  on  the  wild,  dark  moor  ;  or,  sometimes, 
where  such  accessories  as  we  have  mentioned  were  wanting,  in 
some  lonely  cave,  in  the  neighborhood  of  the  ever-sounding 
sea,  moaning  hoarse  and  bodeful  but — 

"  Where,  as  to  shame  the  temple  deck't, 
By  skill  of  earthly  architect, 
Nature  herself,  it  seem'd,  would  raise 
A  minister  to  her  Maker' s  praise  ! 
Not  of  a  theme  less  solemn  tells 
That  mighty  surge,  that  ebbs  and  swells  ; 
There  Nature's  voice  might  seem  to  say, 
'  Well  hast  thou  done,  frail  child  of  clay  ! 
Thy  humble  powers  that  stately  shrine 
Task'd  high  and  hard — but  witness  mine.'  " 

Such  meetings  were  often  watched,  waited  for,  and  inter- 
rupted by  the  dragoons  of  Claverhouse  and  Dalziel,  and  it  often 
happened  that  the  worshippers  in  such  circumstances  sang — 

' '  Their  last  song  to  the  God  of  Salvation, 
While  the  melody  died,  midst  derision  and  laughter, 
As  the  hosts  of  th'  ungodly  rushed  on  to  the  slaughter  ;" 

and  then  the  chariot  of  fire  descended  through  the  dark  cloud 
to  bear  the  faithful  martyr  to  the  martyr's  crown  and  kingdom 
of  glory. 

Such  memories  no  doubt  often  fell  over  the  minds  and  hearts 
of  Scottish  worshippers  on  their  Communion  Sabbath  evenings, 
amid  their  pastoral  valleys,  in  more  peaceful  times.  This  tune 
of  "  Martyrs,"  to  which  we  have  referred,  has  been  carried 
into  remote  wildernesses,  wherever  the  Scottish  emigrant  has 
travelled.  Thomas  Pringle,  in  his  narrative  of  a  residence  in 
South  Africa,  describes  thus,  in  touching  language,  a  Sabbath 
in  the  African  desert  : 

"  The  day  was  bright  and  still,  and  the  voice  of  psalms  rose 
with  a  sweet  and  touching  solemnity  among  those  wild  moun- 


THE   OLD   SCOTTISH    SABBATH.  197 

tains,  where  the  praise  of  the  true  God  had  never  in  all  human 
probability  been  sung  before.  The  words  of  the  hymn  were 
appropriate  to  our  situation,  and  affected  some  of  our  congre- 
gation very  sensibly. 

'  Oh,  God  of  Bethel !  by  whose  hand 
Thy  people  still  are  fed.' 

(These  are  words  which  are  seldom  sung  in  Scotland  to  any 
other  tune  than  Martyrs.)  We  then  read  some  of  the  most 
suitable  portions  of  the  English  Liturgy,  which  we  considered 
preferable  to  any  extempore  service  that  could  be  substituted 
on  this  occasion.  We  read  an  excellent  discourse,  by  the  Rev. 
Dr.  Pringle,  of  Perth,  and  had  a  similar  service  in  the  after- 
noon, and  agreed  to  maintain  in  this  manner  the  worship  of 
God  in  our  infant  settlement.  While  we  were  singing  our  last 
psalm  in  the  afternoon,  an  antelope,  which  appeared  to  have 
wandered  down  the  valley  without  observing  us,  stood  for  a 
little  while  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  rivulet,  gazing  at  us  in 
innocent  amazement,  as  if  unacquainted  with  man,  the  great 
destroyer.  On  this  day  of  peace  it  was  of  course  permitted  to 
depart  unmolested."  Thus,  whatever  sarcasms  some  may 
choose  to  indulge  concerning  the  Scottish  Sabbath,  it  is  sur- 
rounded with  lights  of  exquisite  beauty,  and  we  venture  to  be- 
lieve that  neither  in  Scotland  nor  elsewhere  do  the  happiness, 
the  honor,  or  the  prosperity  of  a  people  increase  as  the  sanctity 
of  the  day  declines.  Although  we  may  afford  a  smile  at  the 
story  Professor  Blackie  tells  in  his  "  Altarona,"  of  the  grave 
old  man  walking  to  the  kirk  with  a  young  companion,  who 
when  the  latter  dared  to  remark  on  the  loveliness  of  the  Sab- 
bath morning,  "It  is  a  beautiful  day  this  ;"  replied,  "  Yes, 
indeed,  young  man,  it  is  a  very  beautiful  day  ;  but  is  this  a 
day  to  be  talking  about  days  I" 


CHAPTER   XII. 

NORTHERN    LIGHTS. 

WE  are  not  certain  whether  we  could  find  now  in  Scotland 
all  the  characteristics  which  we  have  attempted  to  delineate  in 
this  small  volume.  Scotland  has  not  escaped  the  transitions 
and  innovations  so  remarkable  in  our  times.  We  sometimes 
wonder  whether  the  Scottish  peasantry  is  now,  what  it  was  ad- 
mitted universally  to  be  once,  the  finest  and  noblest  in  the 
world.  The  peasant  so  tenderly  described  by  Mr.  Cromek  in 
his  "  Remains  of  Nithsdale  and  Galloway  Song,"  in  which  he 
writes  :  "  There  is  not  perhaps  a  more  impressive  scene  than  a 
Scottish  Sabbath  morn  presents  ;  when  the  wind  is  low,  the 
summer's  sun  newly  risen,  and  all  the  flocks  at  browse  by  the 
waters  and  by  the  woods.  How  glorious  then  to  listen  to  the 
holy  murmur  of  retired  pr;:yer,  and  the  distant  chant  of  the 
cotterman's  psalm  spreading  from  hamlet  and  village."  Or, 
in  the  language  of  Thomas  Aird,  one  of  Scotland's  sweetest 
poets  :  "  To  see  the  old  men  on  a  bright  evening  of  the  still 
Sabbath,  sitting  in  their  southern  gardens  on  the  low  beds  of 
chamomile,  with  the  Bible  in  their  hands,  their  old  eyes  filled 
with  mild  seriousness,  blent  with  the  sunlight  of  the  sweet 
summer -tide,  is  one  of  the  most  pleasing  pictures  of  human 
life."  This  cottage  peace,  and  solemn  reverence  of  young  and 
old,  is  perhaps  very  much  a  story  of  the  past.  But  it  was,  we 
believe,  from  scenes  and  characteristics  like  these  it  came  about 
that,  perhaps,  no  country  in  the  world,  in  proportion  to  its 
size,  has  produced  so  many  eminent  men  from  the  tumble 
ranks  of  life — men  who,  from  the  most  adverse  circumstances, 
have  forced  their  way  to  fame  ;  the  sons  of  shepherds  and  of 
weavers,  lowly  born  and  sternly  reared,  becoming  great  lawyers 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  199 

and  great  linguists,  great  poets,  great  orators  in  the  pulpit,  and 
leaders  of  metaphysical  thought. 

Perhaps  the  course  of  these  pages,  which  we  are  now  bring- 
ing to  a  close,  will  a  little  vindicate  us  from  the  charge  in  the 
"  Noctes  Ambrosianae, "  that  Englishmen  are  prone  as  a  people 
to  underrate  the  national  virtues  of  Scotchmen.  On  the  other 
hand,  the  same  page  of  the  same  work  declares  that,  manifold 
as  are  the  excellences  of  the  Scottish  character,  there  is  a  ten- 
dency, in  the  English  mind  or  imagination,  enormously  to 
magnify  them  ;  but  we  have  presented  no  such  exaggerations. 
We  have  seen  that  Scotland — a  land  considered  naturally  poor 
—  is  so  wealthy  that  you  may  hear  the  cattle  lowing  on  a  thou- 
sand hills,  while  the  river-fed  glens  are  rich  with  the  noblest  of 
crops,  The  scenery,  too,  is  of  the  noblest  on  the  earth,  and, 
perhaps,  better  fitted,  than  any  we  can  easily  reach,  to  stir  and 
to  satisfy  the  heart  of  the  pedestrian.  The  vast  and  houseless 
moors  are  more  cheerful  than  cities  ;  the  hill  country  is  alive 
with  the  voice  of  streams,  and  magnificent  armies  of  mists 
trooping1  to  and  fro  among  the  glens,  and  rolling  in  silence  far 
more  sublime  than  the  tramp  of  horses  or  the  rush  of  chariots  ; 
such  scenes  give  perpetual  variety  to  the  heath- covered  moun- 
tains of  this  lovely  land. 

The  grandeur  and  moral  sublimity  of  any  country  may  be 
estimated  by  its  power  to  produce  upon  the  mind  permanent 
impressions,  and  this  is  eminently  the  case  with  Scotland  ; 
mountains  and  floods,  mists  and  roaring  torrents,  silver  lakes 
and  precipitous  crags,  the  unceasing  dash  of  the  ocean  beating 
on  the  hard  rocks — all  such  things  become  the  occasions  of  in- 
tellectual and  moral  power,  and  they  act  on  the  hearts  and 
minds  of  those  capable  of  interpreting  such  sublime  phe- 
nomena. 

Scotland  appears  in  a  remarkable  manner  to  illustrate  the 
interdependence  of  moral  and  physical  geography  ;  its  climate 
and  its  physical  features  have,  no  doubt,  very  materially  helped 
to  mould  the  character  of  its  people. 

Burt,  in  his  "  Letters  from  the  North  of  Scotland  "  (1754), 


200  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

one  of  the  earliest  works  descriptive  of  this  country,  tells  the 
story  of  an  officer  finding  a  laird  at  one  of  the  public  huts  in 
the  Highlands,  and,  both  going  the  same  way,  they  agreed  to 
keep  each  other  company  for  the  rest  of  the  journey.  After 
they  had  ridden  about  four  miles,  the  laird  turned  round,  and 
said,  "  Now,  all  the  ground  we  have  hitherto  gone  over  is  my 
own  property."  "  Say  you  so  ?"  says  the  other  ;  "  I  tell  you 
the  truth  ;  I  have  an  apple-tree  in  Herefordshire  that  I  would 
not  swop  with  you  for  the  whole  of  it." 

This  may  appear  to  give  but  a  grim  account  of  the  country  ; 
but  perhaps  it  speaks  of  that  hard  strength  of  the  strata  which 
sustains  a  character  equally  expert,  it  has  been  said,  in  con- 
structing systems  of  mental  science  and  philosophy,  and  good 
bowls  of  whiskey  punch.  The  characteristics  of  Scottish 
national  scenery  seem  to  be  very  closely  blended  with  reminis- 
cences which  all  tend  to  illustrate,  and  to  bring  out  into  a 
strong  light,  the  mind,  and  moral  qualities  of  the  people. 
Perhaps  the  effect  of  natural  objects  in  a  northern,  or  moun- 
tainous region,  is  greater  when  associated  with  objects  of 
national  history.  Wordsworth  truly  says, 

"The  tales 

Of  persecution  and  the  Covenant, 
Their  echo  rings  through  Scotland  to  this  hour." 

Those  persecutions  were  not  mere  things  of  a  day,  but  con- 
tinued through  at  least  three  generations,  and  their  memory  has 
been  emblazoned  by  the  pens  of  Scott,  Gait,  Hogg,  Wilson, 
Grahame,  Pollock,  and  Moir,  and  the  pencils  of  Wilkie,  Harvey, 
Duncan,  and  a  crowd  besides.  The  pious  Scotchman  comes  to 
holy  ground  as  he  wanders  among  the  wild  moors  and  solitudes 
of  his  land.  Here  was  the  cavern,  where  the  crystal  water 
bubbles  up,  where  the  Covenanter's  infant  was  baptized.  Be- 
neath this  little  knoll  the  aged  elder  was  gathered  to  his  final 
rest,  and  in  this  narrow  vale  the  children  and  disciples  of  the 
Covenant  met,  in  fear  and  trembling,  to  remember  the  death  of 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  201 

the  Saviour,  or  to  rejoice  over  some  great  deliverance,  singing, 
as  in  the  fine  words  of  Delta  : 

"  We  have  no  hearths  ;  the  ashes  lie 

In  blackness  where  they  brightly  shone  , 
We  have  no  homes— the  desert  sky 

Our  covering,  earth  our  couch  alone  ; 
We  have  no  heritage — depnven 

Of  these,  we  ask  not  such  on  earth. 
Our  hearts  are  sealed,  we  seek  in  heaven 

For  heritage,  and  home,  and  hearth. 
Let  thunders  crash,  let  torrents  shower, 

Let  whirlwinds  churn  the  howling  sea  ; 
What  is  the  turmoil  of  an  hour 

To  an  eternal  calm  with  Thee  !" 

Hence,  what  a  fascinating  charm  gathers  round  the  Bass  Rock, 
as  it  looms,  a  lone  island,  out  of  the  sea  near  Edinburgh,  with 
its  martyr  graves.  But  patriotic  memories  and  associations  of 
Scotland  equal  its  religious.  Here  you  come  upon  a  glen 
which  sheltered  William  Wallace  from  his  foes,  and  there  some 
hut  or  rude  cavern  which  gave  an  asylum  to  the  outlawed 
Bruce.  Even  the  translucent  Esk,  and  the  caverned  Hawthorn- 
den,  hold  the  charm  not  merely  of  the  old  oak  and  birchen 
forests  which  fringe  their  beauties,  but  of  the  venerable  names 
we  have  just  mentioned.  Hence  it  was  that  the  phlegmatic 
Dr.  Johnson,  notwithstanding  all  his  foolish  prejudices  against 
Scotchmen,  was  compelled  to  yield  to  the  moral  inspiration  of 
the  home  of  St.  Coluraba  ;  while  Sir  Walter  Scott  not  only 
received  the  permanent  impressions  of  the  wonderful  country 
whose  wild  and  varied  legends  seemed  to  respond  to,  and  to 
interpret,  the  majestic  glories  of  the 

"  Land  of  brown  heath,  and  shaggy  wood, 
Land  of  the  mountain,  fell,  and  flood, " 

but  fixed  his  impressions  in  his  immortal  and  Homeric  descrip- 
tions. Well  may  Scotland  be  proud  ;  she  has  given  never- 
dying  names  to  intellectual  science  ;  she  has  given  historians 


202  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

who  have  written  the  immortal  histories  of  continents,  and  phi- 
losophers who  have  successfully  speculated  on  the  universal 
nature  of  man.  She  has  given  some  of  the  children  of  sweetest, 
song,  embodying,  in  most  wonderful  verse,  the  most  obscure 
and  the  most  fascinating  traditions  ;  while  it  has  been  said  that 
Adam  Smith  did  not  so  much  create  an  era  in  political  science 
as  political  science  itself  ;  but  great  as  are  the  merits  of  the 
"  Wealth  of  Nations,"  the  "  Cotter's  Saturday  Night"  of  the 
ploughboy  poet  will  probably  outlive  that  great  political  work, 
and  speak  to  the  heart  of  man  in  all  stages  of  its  development. 
It  is  true  the  Scotchman  is  pugnacious — very  pugnacious  ; 
he  has  been  nursed  in  storms,  both  physically  and  morally  ;  his 
life  has  been  usually,  for  many  ages,  a  life  of  hard  discipline. 
Hence  feats  of  daring  became  the  end  of  existence.  The  story 
of  the  country  is  a  history  of  stirring  events,  in  which  tempest- 
uous passions  had  free  scope.  Indeed,  the  history  of  Scotland 
does  by  no  means  produce  a  pleasing  impression  on  the  mind  ; 
it  is  full  of  romance  and  adventure,  but  there  is  very  little  in  it 
that  looks  generous  ;  it  is  too  much  like  the  story  of  the  con- 
flict of  clans,  and  every  clan  had  an  Indian's  scent  for  the  blood 
of  its  neighbor.  Something  of  the  same  stern  characteristics 
abide,  and  give,  as  has  often  been  remarked,  a  passion  for 
wrangling,  a  dogged  tenaciousness  of  opinion,  a  proneness  to 
use  uncomfortable  epithets,  and  an  inability  to  distinguish  be- 
tween the  substance  and  the  shadow.  The  quaint  and  even 
mistaken  use  of  language  has  been  illustrated  in  many  particu- 
lars, as  where  the  maid  describes  the  exacting  and  economical 
ways  of  her ' mistress.  "She's  vicious  upo'  the  wark  ;  but, 
eh  !  she's  vary  mysterious  o'  the  victualling."  We  have 
referred  to  the  story  of  an  Aberdonian,  one  Bannerman,  of  a 
matter-of-fact  disposition,  who,  when  some  one  remarked, 
"  It's  a  fine  day,"  dryly  responded,  "  Fa's  findin'  faut  wi'  the 
day?  Ye  wad  pick  a  quarrel  wi'  a  steen  wa  !"  The  Quar- 
terly Review  remarks  on  this  that  "  Punch"  translates  it,  "  Do 
you  want  to  hargue,  you  beggar?"  but  cites  the  story  of  an 
Aberdonian  sand-cadger,  who,  instead  of  uttering  his  cry  of 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  203 

"  Buy  dry  san'  !"  as  he  drove  his  cart  through  the  streets, 
shouted,  in  a  peevish  tone,  "  Ye  wunna  buy  san'  the  day  ;  na, 
ye  wunna  !" 

It  has  been  said  that  the  persistent  use  of  barbarous  epithets 
in  legal  language  illustrates  the  dogged  obstinacy  of  the  Scot- 
tish character.  Thus,  having  occasion  to  look  through  some 
ecclesiastical  proceedings  in  the  Scottish  courts,  we  found  such 
verbiage  as  the  following  plentifully  sprinkled  :  "  Should  be" 
sisted  (Anglice,  stopped  or  summoned)  "  as  parties  ;"  "  any 
part  of  the  sederunt  ;"  "  present  when  the  deliverance  was  pro- 
nounced ;"  "  were  astricted  to  obey  ;"  "  they  implemented  the 
veto  law  ;"  "  when  the  call  was  moderated  in,"  etc.,  etc. 

George  Outram,  an  Advocate  of  the  Scottish  Bar,  wrote  a 
number  of  pieces,  which  have  been  called  Legal  Lyrics. 
Although  much  talked  of,  they  are  but  little  known.  These 
are  intended  to  satirize  many  of  the  prevalent  legal  but  occult 
observances,  as  well  as  the  mysterious  language,  of  the  Scottish 
Bar.  "The  Process  of  Augmentation,"  and  "  Soumin  and 
Roumin,"  and  "  The  Multiplepoinding, "  and  "  The  Annuity" 
are  all  pieces  of  rich  humor,  so  also  "  The  Law  of  Lien." 

"  If  ye've  been  up  ayont  Dundee, 
Ye  maun  hae  heard  abont  the  plea 
That's  rais'd  by  Sandy  Grant's  trustee, 
For  the  mill  that  belanged  to  Sandy. 
For  Sandy  lent  the  man  his  mill, 
An'  the  mill  that  was  lent  was  Sandy' s  mill, 
An'  the  man  got  the  len'  o'  Sandy's  mill, 
An'  the  mill  it  belanged  to  Sandy. 

"  A'  sense  o'  sin  an'  shame  is  gone, 
They're  claiming  now  a  lien  on 
The  mill  that  belanged  to  Sandy. 
But  Sandy  lent  the  man  his  mill, 
An'  the  mill  that  was  lent  was  Sandy's  mill, 
An'  the  man  got  the  len'  o'  Sandy's  mill, 
An'  the  mill  it  belanged  to  Sandy." 

We  might  largely  amplify  and  illustrate  here,  but  we  prefer 
to  dwell  on  some  of  those  features  which,  as  the  Scotchman  has 


204  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

yielded  to  the  influences  of  culture  and  civilization,  especially 
when  he  has  felt  the  amenities  of  other  climes  and  scenes,  have 
made  him  so  genial  a  companion,  and  even  so  faithful  a  friend. 
We  have  referred  to  that  ease  with  which  he  glides  into  society, 
and  that  reticence  and  power  of  self-respect  which  sustains  him 
there.  How  many  anecdotes  leap  to  the  memory  to  show  this. 
We  have  noticed  how  the  Scot  abroad  rises  in  estimation  and 
honor.  An  interesting  story  is  told  by  Dr.  Rogers  of  the  pri- 
vate secretary  of  the  late  Duke  of  Wellington.  Perhaps  it 
shows  the  perception  and  bias  of  the  duke,  that  upon  the  death 
of  his  duchess  he  requested  the  Marquis  of  Tweeddale  to  look 
out  for  a  prudent  Scotsman  who  might  become  his  major 
domo,  or  private  secretary.  Lord  Tweeddale,  being  somewhat 
reluctant  to  undertake  the  task,  the  duke  said  to  him,  "  Just 
select  a  man  of  sense,  and  send  him  up.  I'll  take  a  look  at 
him,  and  if  I  don't  think  he'll  suit  I'll  pay  his  expenses  and 
send  him  home."  Returning  to  Tester  House,  the  marquis 
sent  for  Mr.  Heriot,  who  rented  one  of  his  farms,  and  asked 
him  whether  he  would  undertake  the  proposed  secretaryship. 
Mr.  Heriot  consented  to  make  a  trial.  Arriving  at  Apsley 
House,  he  was  kindly  received  by  the  great  duke,  who  ex- 
plained that,  while  all  private  business  would  terminate  at 
one  o'clock,  the  secretary  would  afterward  be  required  to 
entertain  visitors.  The  latter  duties  seemed  formidable,  but 
Mr.  Heriot  did  not  seek  an  explanation.  That  evening  the 
duke  gave  a  dinner-party.  On  the  guests  being  ushered  into 
the  dining-room,  the  duke  said,  "  Mr.  Heriot,  will  you  take 
the  end  of  the  table  ?"  Embarrassing  as  was  his  position,  the 
new  major  domo  acquitted  himself  well,  evincing  on  the  various 
topics  of  conversation,  especially  on  questions  of  the  day,  much 
correct  information.  Some  members  of  the  company  described 
him  as  an  intelligent  Scotsman,  which  entirely  concurred  with 
the  duke's  own  sentiments.  He  was  soon  in  entire  possession 
of  his  grace's  confidence.  Walking  in  the  city  one  day,  Mr. 
Heriot  met  an  old  acquaintance  from  Scotland.  "  Hello,  Her- 
iot 1"  said  the  friend,  "  what  are  you  doing  in  London  ?" 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  205 

"  I'm  private  secretary  to  the  Duke  of  Wellington,"  answered 
Heriot.  "  You  be  nothing  of  the  sort,"  said  the  Scotsman, 
"  and  I  fear  you're  doing  little  good  since  you  would  impose 
upon  me  in  this  fashion."  Returning  to  Scotland,  it  occurred 
to  Heriot's  acquaintance  that  he  would  write  to  the  duke  warn- 
ing him  that  one  Heriot  had  been  passing  himself  off  as  his 
secretary  from  Apsley  House.  He  received  a  reply  in  these 
words  :  "  Sir  :  I  am  directed  by  the  Duke  of  Wellington  to 
acknowledge  receipt  of  your  letter,  and  I  am  your  obedient  ser- 
vant, J.  Heriot,  Private  Secretary." 

We  have  not  dwelt  upon  any  of  the  more  unamiable  charac- 
teristics of  the  Scotch  nationality.  Why  should  we  ?  Person- 
ally, we  have  only  met  with  here  and  there  a  disagreeable 
Scotchman,  although  some  three  of  them  have  wrought  upon  the 
writer  the  greatest  mischief  he  has  known  in  his  life.  All  the 
Scotchmen  with  whom  we  have  been  intimate  have  been  down- 
right good  fellows,  and  some  of  them  are  now  among  our  most 
hallowed  recollections.  But  "  keeking"  through,  we  can  see 
that  a  Scot  is  a  man  of  terrible  prejudices  ;  he  is  made  of  stern 
stuff.  Dr.  Johnson  ought  to  have  loved  him,  for,  usually,  he 
is  "  a  good  hater."  Dr.  Norman  Macleod  says,  "  It  must  be 
frankly  admitted  that  there  is  no  man  more  easily  offended, 
more  /Ana-skinned,  who  cherishes  longer  the  memory  of  an  in- 
sult, or  keeps  up  with  more  freshness  a  personal,  family,  or 
party  feud,  than  the  genuine  Highlander.  Woe  to  the  man 
who  offends  his  pride  or  his  vanity  !  '  I  may  forgive,  but  I 
cannot  forget,'  is  a  favorite  saying.  He  will  stand  by  a  friend 
to  the  last,  but,  let  a  breach  be  once  made,  and  it  is  most  diffi- 
cult ever  again  to  repair  it  as  it  once  was.  The  grudge  is  im- 
mortal. There  is  no  man  who  can  fight  and  shake  hands  like 
the  genuine  Englishman." 

We  have  already  dwelt  at  length  on  some  of  the  characteris- 
tics of  Scottish  humor,  and  have  shown  that  Sidney  Smith  was 
certainly  very  far  wrong  when  he  said  that  "  a  surgical  opera- 
tion was  needed  in  order  to  put  a  joke  into  a  Scotchman's 
head."  Yet  there  is  a  feature  of  Scottish  character  out  of 


200  SCOTTISH    CHAKACTERlSTiCS. 

which  possibly  this  mistaken  verdict  grew.  Dr.  Rogers  truly 
says  that  the  Scottish  farmer,  though  usually  shrewd,  is  not 
always  so  ;  but  we  would  add  to  this  that  there  is  a  kind  of 
greenness — a  grim  unconsciousness-— which  is  often  the  next 
best  thing  to  genuine  humor.  Rogers  mentions  a  Kincardine  - 
shire  husbandman,  who  was  expressing  to  his  minister  the  high 
opinion  he  had  of  his  personal  virtues,  and  he  wound  up  his 
eulogy  by  saying,  "  An'  I  a' ways  and  specially  liket  your  ster- 
ling independence,  sir  ;  I  hae  a' ways  said,  sir,  that  ye  neither 
feared  God  nor  man  !"  On  the  other  hand,  the  shrewdness  is 
sometimes  remarkable.  A  farmer,  the  elder  of  a  parish  in  For- 
farshire,  was  suggesting  to  his  recently  appointed  youthful  pas- 
tor how  he  should  proceed  in  his  parochial  visitations.  "  Now, 
there's  John,"  he  said.  "  Speak  to  him  on  any  subject  ex- 
cept ploughing  and  sowing,  for  John  is  sure  to  remark  your 
deficiency  on  these,  which  he  perfectly  understands  ;  and  if 
he  should  detect  that  you  dinna  ken  about  ploughing  and  sow- 
ing, he'll  no  gie  ye  credit  for  understanding  onything  else." 

"  It  is  very  sad,"  said  a  Scotchman,  u  it  is  very  sad,  indeed, 
to  think  on  the  number  of  the  world's  greatest  men  who  have 
lately  been  called  to  their  last  account.  And  the  fact  is," 
added  he,  with  unction,  "  I  don't  feel  very  well  myself." 

In  gathering  up  these  sketches,  we  are  reminded  of  what  we 
have  already  said  of  that  grim  unconsciousness  which,  some- 
times, in  its  ludicrousness,  has  the  effect  of  humor.  Mr.  Boyd 
gives  to  us  the  following  queer  Highland  sermon,  which  he  ap- 
pears to  have  either  heard  himself,  or  a  report  of  which  he 
seems  to  have  received  on  highly  credible  authority  : 

"Ah,  my  friends, "  exclaimed  the  preacher,  "what  causes 
have  we  for  graatitude,  oh  yes,  for  the  deepest  graati- 
tude!  Look  at  the  place  of  our  habitaation.  How  grate- 
ful should  we  be  that  we  do  not  leeve  in  the  far  north, 
oh  no  !  amid  the  frost  and  the  snaw,  and  the  cauld  and 
the  weet,  oh  no  !  where  there's  a  lang  day  tae  half  o'  the 
year,  oh  yes  !  and  a,  lang  lang  nicht  the  tither,  oh  yes  !  that 
we  do  not  depend  upon  the  Aura  wry  Borcawlis,  oh  no  !  that 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  20? 

we  do  not  gang  shivering  aboot  in  skins,  oh  no  !  snokiug  ainang 
the  snaw  like  mowdiwarts,  oh  no,  no  !  And  how  graateful 
should  we  be  that  we  do  not  leeve  in  the  far  south,  beneath  the 
eqnawter,  and  the  sun  aye  burnin,  burnin,  where  the  sky's  het, 
ah  yes  !  and  the  y earth's  het,  and  the  water's  het,  and  ye' re 
burnt  black  as  a  smiddy,  ah  yes  !  where  there's  teegers,  oh 
yes  !  and  lions,  oh  yes  !  and  crocodiles,  oh  yes  !  and  fearsome 
beasts  growling  and  girnin  at  ye  among  the  woods,  where  the 
very  air  is  a  fever,  like  the  burnin  breath  o'  a  fiery  drawgon  ; 
that  we  do  not  leeve  in  these  places,  oh  no,  no,  no  !  no  !  But 
that  we  leeve  in  this  blessit  island  of  oors,  callit  Great  Britain, 
oh  yes,  yes  !  and  in  that  pairt  of  it  named  Scotland,  and  in 
that  bit  o'  auld  Scotland  that  looks  up  at  Ben  Nevis,  oh  yes  ! 
yes  !  yes  !  where's  neither  frost  nor  cauld,  nor  wund,  nor  weet, 
nor  hail,  nor  rain,  nor  teegars,  nor  lions,  nor  burnin  suns,  nor 
huncanes,  nor — '  Here  a  tremendous  blast  of  wind  and  rain 
from  Ben  Nevis  blew  in  the  windows  of  the  kirk,  and  brought 
the  preacher's  eloquence  to  an  abrupt  conclusion."  But  other 
anecdotes  give  the  preacher  the  best  of  the  story,  like  that  of 
the  minister  of  Inverary,  who  met  a  cluster  of  young  roughs, 
and  had  experienced  some  incivilities  from  them.  "  Good-by, 
gentlemen,"  said  he,  "  good- by  ;  we  shall  meet  again  very 
shortly."  "  How  is  that  ?"  said  one  of  the  number.  "  I  am 
a  jail  chaplain,"  replied  he. 

It  is  not  only  in  the  odd  imagination  and  humorous  fancy  of 
the  "  modern  Pythagorean,"  Dr.  McNeil,  that  we  find  the 
monkey  or  ape  playing  a  very  singular  part.  Many  years 
since,  when  the  good  folk  of  the  old  granite  city  of  Aberdeen 
first  thought  of  venturing  their  commercial  transactions  upon  an 
extensive  scale,  with  the  fervent  hope  that  they  might  add  to 
their  importance  to  the  extent  to  which  Glasgow  had  risen  by 
its  importation  of  outlandish  luxuries,  they  fitted  out  a  ship  for 
the  far  Indies.  The  voyage  was  long.  Week  after  week  and 
month  after  month  passed  by,  and  the  "  boatie"  did  not 
return.  At  last,  when  hope  began  almost  to  expire  in  the  souls 
of  the  daring  adventurers  who  had  stayed  at  home,  the  joyful 


208  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

tidings  came  that  the  object  of  their  fond  fears  and  anxieties 
was  safely  moored,  and  all  was  as  it  should  be.  The  wonder- 
ful "  boatie"  which  had  twice  crossed  the  Atlantic  was  visited 
by  all  the  responsible  men  of  the  city,  including,  of  course,  the 
provost.  The  captain — Captain  Skene,  so  the  story  describes 
him — received  them,  as  the  owners  of  his  vessel,  with  the  gruff 
hospitality  of  a  sailor.  The  ship  was  full  of  wonders  such  as 
neither  the  provost  nor  the  bailies  had  ever  seen  before.  We 
need  not  enumerate  such  things  as  were  far  from  ordinary  then, 
although  common  enough  now.  Meantime,  the  provost  never 
felt  himself  so  great  a  man  before.  He  was  now  on  board  of 
a  trader  which  had  visited  foreign  parts,  and  of  which  he  was 
undoubtedly  the  principal  owner.  He  had  been  the  great 
means  of  introducing  a  new  trade  into  his  native  city,  and  he 
was  now  in  the  full  fruition  of  these  gratifying  reflections.  He 
felt  elated  with  a  double  portion  of  dignity,  and  was  laying 
down  the  law  with  a  relative  portion  of  bis  usual  solemnity, 
when  he  was  most  indecorously  interrupted  by  a  sudden  and 
violent  pulling  at  his  pig-tail  from  behind.  He  looked  round 
in  wrath  ;  but  seeing  his  assailant  was  a  sickly,  weak-looking, 
dark-complexioned  lad,  who  had  skipped  off  the  moment  he 
was  observed,  and  having  compassion  for  his  want  of  breeding, 
he  rebuked  him  with  mildness  and  dignity,  and  resumed  the 
thread  of  his  discourse.  Scarcely  had  he  done  so,  however, 
when  the  attack  was  resumed.  This  was  too  much  to  be 
borne.  He  forgot  in  a  moment  both  his  age  and  his  place, 
and  exclaimed  in  peevish  frctfulness,  "  Laddie,  but  gin  you 
come  that  gait  again,  I'll  put  ye  in  the  heart  o'  auld  Aberdeen" 
(the  jail).  "What's  the  matter  wi'  ye,  provost  ?"  said  the 
captain.  "It  is  only  that  unchancy  laddie  o'  yours,"  replied 
the  provost,  "  has  pu'd  my  tail  as  an'  he  wud  tug  it  oot  by  the 
roots."  "What  laddie,  provost?"  cried  the  captain. 
"  Why,  that  yin  there,  wi'  the  rough  mouth  and  the  sair 
een." 

"  Laddie  !  bless  you,  provost,  that's  only  a  monkey  we  hae 
brocht  wi'  us."      "  A  monkey  ca'  ye  it  ?"   said  the  astonished 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  209 

provost ;  "  I  thought  it  was  a  sugar-maker' s  son  frae  the  West 
Indies,  come  hame  to  our  university  for  his  edication." 

Not  often  to  be  caught  napping  is  the  Scotch  humorist. 
"  You  have  a  wide  view  from  these  mountains,"  said  an  Eng- 
lishman to  a  shepherd  in  some  remote  district  in  the  heights  of 
Aberdeen.  "That's  true,"  said  the  shepherd.  "You  can 
see,"  said  the  travellers  (there  were  two),  "  America  from 
here."  "  Muckle  farrer  than  that,"  he  replied.  "  An'  how 
can  that  be?"  "When  the  mist  drives  off,  ye  can  seethe 
mune." 

Shrewdness — a  grim  shrewdness — we  have  noticed  as  the 
characteristic  of  Scotch  humor.  During  the  Voluntary  con- 
troversy, Dr.  John  Ritchie,  of  the  Pollesrow  Church,  Edin- 
burgh, was  one  of  the  foremost  champions  on  the  Voluntary 
side.  At  a  public  meeting  held  in  Dundee,  the  reverend  gen- 
tleman was  descanting  on  the  misrepresentations  to  which  his 
opponents  had  subjected  him.  "  They  have,"  he  said, 
"  called  me  everything  but  a  gentleman,  everything  but  a  min- 
ister— nay,  they  have  compared  me  to  the  devil  himself. 
Now,"  he  proceeded,  coming  forward  to  the  front  of  the  plat- 
form, and  exhibiting  a  well-shaped  limb,  "  I  ask  you  if  you 
see  any  cloven  foot  there  ?"  "  Tak  aff  ye' re  shoe11  (shoe), 
shouted  a  voice  from  the  gallery.  What  oratory  could  stand 
against  that  rejoinder  ?  And  we  believe,  although  Sheridan 
has  the  credit  of  the  joke,  it  was  a  Scotchman  who,  when  told 
by  a  remarkably  ugly  fellow  that,  unless  he  altered  his  ways, 
he  would  withdraw  his  countenance  from  him,  replied,  "  I  am 
very  glad  to  hear  it,  for  an  uglier  countenance  I  never  saw  in  a' 
my  life  !" 

Patrick  Lord  Robertson,  one  of  the  senators  of  the  College 
of  Justice,  was  a  great  humorist  ;  he  was  on  terms  of  intimacy 
with  Mr.  Alexander  Douglas,  W.S.,  much  respected,  but,  on 
account  of  his  untidiness,  known  as  "  Dirty  Douglas."  Lord 
Robertson  invited  his  friend  to  accompany  him  to  a  ball.  ' '  I 
would  go,"  said  Mr.  Douglas,  "  but  I  don't  care  about  my 
friends  knowing  that  I  attend  balls."  "  Why,  Douglas,"  said 


210  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

the  senator,  '•  put  on  a  well-brushed  coat  and  a  clean  shirt,  and 
nobody  will  know  you." 

When  at  the  Bar,  Robertson  was  frequently  intrusted  with 
cases  by  Mr.  Douglas.  Handing  his  learned  friend  a  fee  in 
Scottish  notes,  Mr.  Douglas  remarked,  "  These  notes,  Robert- 
son, are  like  myself,  getting  old."  "  Yes,  they're  both  old 
and  dirty,  Douglas,"  replied  Robertson  ;  which  anecdote 
reminds  us  that  lawyers,  next  to  ministers,  enter  most  into  the 
humors  of  the  Scottish  character. 

On  the  other  hand,  a  curious  absenteeism  has  often  found 
singular  illustrations  in  these  Scottish  ana.  Henry  Erskine 
used  to  relate  of  an  eminent  scholar,  Professor  Wilkie,  that  on 
one  occasion  he  met  one  of  his  former  pupils.  "  I  am  sorry  to 
hear,"  said  the  professor,  "  my  dear  boy,  you  have  had  fever 
in  your  family  ?  was  it  you  or  your  brother  who  died  of  it  ?" 
"  It  was  me,  sir,"  was  the  astonishing  reply.  "  Ah,  dear  me, 
I  thought  so  !  very  sorry  for  it,  very  sorry  for  it  ;"  but  of  this 
trait  other  instances  may  meet  us  further  on. 

It  has  been  well  said  that  the  Scotch  are  a  peculiar  people, 
but  some  of  their  southern  neighbors  are  not  very  well  aware 
of  their  peculiarities.  "  Hard-headed  "  is  a  very  general  des- 
ignation of  their  nationality.  Harsh  and  ilnamiable,  it  is  sup- 
posed that  there  is  only  an  indurated  grain  in  their  temper  ; 
but  it  is  even  yet  more  true  that  they  are  shy  in  displaying  the 
softer  part  of  their  nature,  and  that  their  peculiar  humor  is 
often  nothing  more  than  pathos,  checked,  curbed,  and  turned 
aside  by  a  sense  of  shame  at  being  caught  giving  way  to  tender- 
heartedness. But  it  would  indeed  be  strange  if  there  were  not 
depths  of  tenderness  in  the  Scottish  character,  when  we  remem- 
ber the  wailing  sweetness  of  the  most  popular  of  the  national 
airs,  the  dirgo,  the  hymn,  the  elegy.  Musical  and  poetical 
genius  often  meet  together  in  the  national  lyrics  ;  passion-in- 
spired pedestrians  in  Scotland  often  come  upon  some  lonesome 
burial-place  among  the  hills  ;  the  kirk  has  been  removed  else- 
where, but  there  still  beloved  dust  is  deposited.  "  Enchained 
in  sounds,  disappointed,  defrauded,  or  despairing  passion," 


NOttTHEKX     LIGHTS.  211 

says  Professor  Wilson,  "  gave  biith  to  the  low,  flat  tune,  sur- 
charged throughout  with  one  groan-like  sigh,  acknowledged 
even  by  gayest  hearts  to  be  indeed  the  language  of  incurable 
grief."  No  one  who  knows  anything  of  Scottish  music  or 
Scottish  poetry  can  for  a  moment  doubt  that  there  is  a  fine 
depth  of  tenderness  in  the  Scottish  character,  although  it  may 
be  hidden  like  her  lakes  among  stern  dark  mountain  passes,  and 
fringed  with  forest  glooms. 

Which  last  paragraph,  anent  Scottish  melody  and  music, 
reminds  us  of  the  Bagpipes.  Our  volume  would  indeed  be  in- 
complete if  we  did  not  refer,  and  at  some  length,  to  that  pecul- 
iarly national  instrument. 

Different  impressions  are  usually,  we  believe,  produced-  upon 
the  minds  of  Englishmen  and  Scotchmen  by  the  bagpipes. 
Some  Englishmen  seem  to  have  been  able  to  appreciate  their 
martial  melody.  It  may  be  supposed  that  they  should  be 
heard  amid  Highland  circumstances  and  scenery  to  receive  their 
proper  meed  of  admiration.  Lord  Byron  says  of  them  : 

"  How  in  the  noon  of  night  that  pibroch  thrills, 
Savage  and  shrill !    But  with  the  breath  which  fills 

Their  mountain-pipe,  so  fill  the  mountaineers 
With  the  fierce  native  daring  which  instils 

The  stirring  memory  of  a  thousand  years, 

And  Evan's,  Donald's  fame  rings  in  each  clansman's  ears  !" 

But  Saint  Fond,  in  his  interesting  book — rare,  valuable,  and 
now  scarcely  known — his  travels  in  Scotland  (1799),  does  not 
convey  the  idea  that  he  was  charmed  ;  so  far  from  it,  the 
poor  man  seems  to  have  been  very  particularly  annoyed.  It 
was  in  Oban  ;  he  had  passed  a  happy  day  in  geological  explora- 
tions. Saint  Fond  was  a  French  savant  ;  he  knew  nothing  of 
the  language  or  of  the  manners  and  customs  of  the  people 
among  whom  he  was  travelling  ;  however,  he  testifies,  "  I  was 
happy  ;  the  labors  of  the  day  made  me  enjoy  my  supper  with 
particular  pleasure  ;  and  sleep  soon  weighing  down  my  eyelids, 
I  hastened  to  bed.  It  was  hard,  but  it  was  in  other  respects 


212  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

good,  and  fatigue  converted  it  into  down  ;  but  there  is  no  per- 
fect happiness  in  this  world.  Will  it  be  believed  that  a  music, 
new  to  me,  but  of  a  kind  shocking  to  my  ear,  deprived  me  of 
the  repose  I  so  much  wanted  ?  I  had  scarcely  time  to  lie  down 
in  bed  when  an  unlucky  piper  used  to  come  and  place  himself 
under  my  window.  At  first  he  waited  upon  me  every  evening 
in  the  passage  of  the  inn,  to  regale  me  with  an  air  ;  he  after- 
ward took  his  station  in  the  front  of  the  house,  where  he  made 
his  noisy  instrument  resound  until  eleven  o'clock,  and  I  could 
fall  upon  no  means  to  prevail  upon  him  to  be  silent.  He 
thought  his  music  was  agreeable  to  me,  and  it  was  his  wish  to 
do  me  a  kind  of  honor,  of  which  I  in  vain  endeavored  to  con- 
vince him  I  was  unworthy. 

"  On  the  day  of  our  arrival,  this  man  came  under  the  win- 
dow of  the  room  into  which  we  were  shown  ;  with  a  bold 
countenance,  and  a  martial  air,  he  walked  backward  and  for- 
ward, stunning  us  with  sounds  of  the  most  unharmonious  kind. 
At  first  we  imagined  that  he  was  a  kind  of  madman  who  earned 
a  livelihood  by  this  strange  exhibition  ;  but  Patrick  Fraser  as- 
sured us,  not  only  that  this  honest  man  was  in  his  senses,  but 
that  he  had  the  reputation  of  being  an  excellent  musician  of  the 
Highland  school  ;  that  his  principal  intention  in  playing  on  his 
instrument  before  us  was  to  exhibit  his  joy  at  our  arrival  in  a 
country  so  seldom  visited  by  foreigners.  Affected  by  this  hos- 
pitable motive,  I  was  prodigal  in  my  applauses  on  his  art,  and 
begged  of  him  to  accept  some  shillings,  which  he  at  first 
refused,  and  seemed  only  to  receive  that  he  might  not  displease 
me.  He  played  always  the  same  air,  if  I  may  give  that  name 
to  a  kind  of  composition  unintelligible  to  foreigners,  but  which 
brings  to  the  recollection  of  the  Highlanders  events  which  have 
the  greatest  interest  to  them.  The  piper  had  observed  that 
my  companions  were  gone,  and  he  persuaded  himself  that  I 
remained  behind  to  hear  his  music.  Imagining,  therefore,  that 
his  concerts  would  be  most  agreeable  to  me  in  the  silence  of 
the  night,  he  continued  his  serenade  under  my  window  to 
eleven  or  twelve  o'clock.  Nothing  could  induce  him  to  desist. 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  213 

I  rose  one  evening  with  great  impatience  ;  but  not  being  able 
to  make  myself  understood  by  speech,  I  took  him  by  the  hand 
to  lead  him  to  a  distance.  He  returned,  however,  eagerly  to 
his  old  place,  as  one  who  was  determined  to  dispute  a  point  of 
politeness,  expressing  by  his  gestures  that  he  was  not  at  all 
fatigued,  and  that  he  would  play  all  night  to  please  me  ;  and 
he  kept  his  word.  Next  day  I  forced  him  to  accept  a  small 
present,  and  made  signs  to  him  that  I  did  not  wish  to  hear  him 
any  more  ;  but  he  was  not  to  be  outdone  in  civility,  and  that 
very  evening  he  returned,  and  made  his  pipe  resound  until 
midnight,  playing  constantly  the  same  air." 

This,  however,  was  not  to  be  the  only  occasion  in  which 
Saint  Fond  was  called  upon  to  express  a  very  decided  sentiment 
upon  the  grand  national  music  of  the  bagpipes.  While  in 
Edinburgh,  he  was  on  terms  of  close  intimacy  and  friendship 
with  the  great  Dr.  Adam  Smith.  "  One  day  Adam  Smith 
asked  me  whether  I  loved  music.  I  answered  that  it  formed 
one  of  my  chief  delights  whenever  I  was  so  fortunate  as  to  hear 
it  well  executed.  '  I  am  very  glad  of  it,'  said  he  ;  '  I  shall  put 
you  to  a  proof  which  will  be  very  interesting  for  me  ;  for  I 
shall  take  you  to  hear  a  kind  of  music  of  which  it  is  impossible 
you  can  have  formed  any  idea,  and  it  will  afford  me  great 
pleasure  to  know  the  impression  it  makes  upon  you.' 

"  Next  morning  at  nine  o'clock,  Smith  came  to  my  lodgings. 
At  ten  he  conducted  me  to  a  spacious  concert  room,  plainly 
but  neatly  decorated,  in  which  I  found  a  numerous  audience. 
I  saw,  however,  neither  orchestra,  musicians,  nor  instruments. 
A  large  space  was  left  void  in  the  middle  of  the  room,  and  sur- 
rounded with  benches,  which  were  occupied  by  gentlemen 
only  ;  ladies  and  gentlemen  were  dispersed  over  the  room  upon 
other  seats.  Adam  Smith  informed  me  that  the  gentlemen  who 
sat  in  the  middle  were  the  judges  of  the  musical  competition 
which  was  about  to  take  place  ;  they  were  almost  all,  he  ob- 
served, inhabitants  of  the  Isles  or  Highlands  of  Scotland,  and 
might  therefore  be  regarded  as  the  natural  judges  of  the  con- 
test. They  were  to  decree  a  prize  to  him  who  should  best  ex- 


214  SCOTTISH   CHARACTEKISTICS. 

ecntc  a  favorite  piece  of  Highland  music.  The  same  air  was 
therefore  to  be  played  by  all  competitors. 

"  In  about  half  an  hour  a  folding-door  opened  at  the  bottom 
of  the  room,  and  to  my  great  surprise  I  saw  a  Highlander  ad- 
vance, playing  upon  the  bagpipe.  He  was  dressed  in  the  an- 
cient Roman  habit  of  his  country.  He  walked  up  and  down 
the  empty  space  with  rapid  steps  and  a  martial  air,  blowing  his 
noisy  instrument,  the  discordant  sounds  of  which  were  suffi- 
cient to  rend  the  ear.  The  tune  was  a  kind  of  sonata,  divided 
into  three  parts.  Smith  requested  me  to  pay  my  whole  atten- 
tion to  the  music,  and  to  explain  to  him  afterward  the  impres- 
sion it  made  upon  me. 

' '  But  I  confess  that  at  first  I  could  not  distinguish  either  air 
or  design  in  the  music.  1  was  only  struck  with  the  piper 
marching  continually  backward  and  forward  with  great  rapid- 
ity, and  still  presenting  the  same  warlike  countenance.  He 
made  incredible  efforts  with  his  body  and  his  fingers  to  bring 
into  play  the  different  reeds  of  his  instrument,  which  emitted 
sounds  that  were  to  me  almost  insupportable. 

' '  He  received,  however,  great  applause.  A  second  musician 
succeeded,  who  was  also  left  alone  in  the  intermediate  area, 
which  he  traversed  with  the  same  rapidity  as  the  former.  His 
countenance  was  no  less  dignified  and  martial  than  that  of  his 
predecessor.  He  appeared  to  excel  the  first  competitor  ;  and 
clapping  of  hands  and  cries  of  '  Bravo  !  '  resounded  on  every 
side.  During  the  third  part  of  the  air  I  observed  that  tears 
flowed  from  the  eyes  of  a  number  of  the  audience. 

"  Having  listened  with  much  attention  to  eight  pipes  in  suc- 
cession, I  at  last  began  to  discover  that  the  first  part  of  the  air 
was  a  warlike  march  ;  the  second  seemed  to  describe  a  san- 
guinary action  ;  the  musician  endeavored  by  a  rapid  succession 
of  loud  and  discordant  sounds  to  represent  the  clashing  of  arms, 
the  shrieks  of  the  wounded,  and  all  the  horrors  of  a  field  of 
battle.  In  this  part  the  performer  appeared  convulsed  ;  his 
pantomimic  gestures  resembled  those  of  a  man  engaged  in  com- 
bat. His  arms,  his  hands,  his  head,  his  legs,  were  all  in  mo- 


XORTTTF.RN"     LIGHTS.  215 

tion.  He  called  forth  all  the  various  sounds  of  his  instrument 
at  the  same  moment,  and  his  singular  disorder  made  a  great 
impression  upon  the  company. 

"  With  a  rapid  transition  the  piper  passed  to  the  third  part, 
which  was  in  a  kind  of  andante.  His  convulsive  motions  sud- 
denly ceased.  His  countenance  assumed  an  air  of  deep  sor- 
row. The  sounds  of  his  instrument  were  plaintive,  languid, 
and  melancholy.  They  were  lamentations  for  the  slain — the 
wailings  of  their  friends  who  carried  them  from  the  field  of 
battle.  This  was  the  part  which  drew  tears  from  the  eyes  of 
the  beautiful  Scotch  ladies." 

The  surprised  listener  regarded  this  as  a  very  extraordinary 
entertainment,  and  began  to  reason  very  closely  with  himself 
concerning  the  different  impressions  produced  upon  the  audi- 
ence, and  the  lively  emotion  excited,  as  contrasted  with  what 
seemed  to  him  to  be  discordant  sounds.  He  probably  rightly 
described  the  cause,  when  he  attributed  the  impressions  pro- 
duced upon  those  around  him  to  an  association  of  ideas  which 
connected  the  discordant  sounds  of  the  bagpipe  with  some  his- 
torical facts  thus  brought  forcibly  to  the  recollection  of  the 
audience.  He  goes  on  to  say,  somewhat  ungraciously,  that  he 
admired  none  of  the  airs  ;  they  were  all  equally  disagreeable  ; 
"  the  music  and  the  instrument  constantly  reminded  me  of  a 
bear's  dance."  Afterward  he  goes  on  to  describe  all  the  com- 
petitors forming  themselves  into  a  line  and  marching  to  Edin- 
burgh Castle,  upon  which  he  says,  ' '  the  union  of  so  many  bag- 
pipes produced  a  most  hideous  noise." 

This  is  perhaps  the  severest  description  we  remember  to  have 
met  with  of  the  celebrated  national  music.  Johnson,  who 
grumbled  at  everything  where  it  was  possible  to  grumble  during 
his  tour  in  Scotland,  makes  no  such  uncomplimentary  remarks  ; 
he  does  give  us  an  account  of  the  air  which  was  played  while 
he  was  sitting  at  dinner  at  Sir  Alexander  Macdonald's  in  the 
Isle  of  Skye.  "  We  were  entertained,"  he  says,  "  with  the 
melody  of  the  bagpipe.  Everything  in  these  countries  has  its 
history.  As  the  bagpiper  was  playing,  an  elderly  gentleman  in- 


216  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

formed  us  that  in  some  remote  time  the  family  of  the  Macdon- 
alds  had  been  injured,  or  offended,  or  thought  themselves  so, 
by  the  inhabitants  of  Cullodon,  so  they  resolved  to  have  justice 
or  vengeance,  and  they  came  to  Cullodon  one  Sunday  while  all 
the  inhabitants  were  in  church  ;  they  shut  all  the  people  up  in 
church,  then  set  fire  to  it  ;  '  and  this  tune,'  said  the  old  gen- 
tleman, '  which  your  piper  is  playing,  is  that  which  Macdon- 
ald's  piper  played  while  the  people  of  Cullodon  were  burning  in 
their  church.'  ' 

But  the  bagpipes  are  not  peculiar  to  Scotland,  as  our  readers 
will  well  remember  ;  it  is  common  throughout  the  East,  and  we 
have  all  seen  the  Piedmontese  exile  in  our  streets  attempting 
to  win  a  penny  by  his  skill  upon  this  rough  music.  It  is  said 
that  the  Italian  peasant  believes  that  this  is  the  best  beloved 
music  of  the  Virgin  Mary,  also  that  it  is  the  instrument  upon 
which  the  shepherds  expressed  their  joy  when  they  visited  the 
manger-cradle  of  our  Lord.  "When  the  Italian  peasant  visits 
Rome  on  the  anniversary  of  the  advent  of  our  Saviour,  we  are 
told,  he  always  carries  his  bagpipes  with  him,  and  his  favorite 
tune  is  that  so  well  known  in  our  congregations,  the  Sicilian 
Mariners.  And  it  is  said  there  is  a  Dutch  missal  in  the  library 
of  King's  College,  Old  Aberdeen,  in  which  one  of  the  angels 
of  the  first  advent  is  represented  as  playing  himself  on  the  bag- 
pipe ;  and  in  another  old  picture  we  have  seen  an  angel  playing 
on  the  bagpipes,  and  apparently  keeping  time  with  King  David 
on  the  harp  in  the  music  of  the  heavenly  places.  In  several 
engagements  the  bagpipe  has  roused  and  rallied  troops  in  dis- 
order. At  the  battle  of  Quebec,  1760,  the  general  complained 
to  a  field  officer  in  Frazer's  regiment  of  the  bad  conduct  of  his 
corps.  "  Sir,"  said  the  officer  with  some  warmth,  "  you  did 
very  wrong  in  forbidding  the  pipers  to  play  ;  nothing  inspirits 
the  Highlanders  so  much,  even  now  they  would  be  of  some 
use."  "  Let  them  blow  up  in  God's  name,  then,"  said  the 
general.  It  was  done,  and  they  all  rushed  on  to  a  victorious 
charge. 

We  believe  such  stories  are  abundant,  but  there  is  one,  of  a 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  217 

humorous  character,  we  should  like  to  tell.  It  occurs  in  an  old 
number  of  the  London  Magazine,  and  it  recites  the  story  of  a 
statue — gone,  no  doubt,  now — but  which  was  to  be  seen  very 
conspicuous,  when  the  story  was  first  told,  in  a  garden  on  the 
terrace  in  Tottenham  Court  Road.  It  refers  to  the  period  of 
the  last  Great  Plague  of  London.  The  statue  was  an  exquisite 
piece  of  sculpture,  by  the  famous  artist  Gibber,  the  father  of 
the  celebrated  Colley  Gibber,  the  comedian  ;  it  was  the  figure 
of  a  man,  a  bagpiper,  sitting  and  playing  on  his  pipes,  with  his 
dog  and  a  keg  of  liquor  by  his  side.  It  is  the  figure  of  a  poor 
piper  who  was  wont  to  stand  at  the  bottom  of  Holborn  Hill, 
by  St.  Andrew's  Church,  and  picked  up  a  precarious  but  suffi- 
cient living  from  the  odd  pence  thrown  him  by  those  who 
chose  thus  to  reward  the  exercise  of  his  musical  talents  ;  but, 
alas  !  there  came  a  day  when  he  made  his  pipes  scream  out 
with  extraordinary  affluence  to  welcome  a  countryman  from  the 
Highlands  ;  the  consequence  was  that  he  made  too  free  with 
the  keg  of  whiskey,  and  beneath  the  influence  of  repeated 
potations  he  went  to  sleep  on  the  very  steps  of  St.  Andrew's 
Church.  That  was  not  a  time  for  such  dangerous  indulgence. 
While  lying  there,  either  in  or  toward  nightfall,  the  dead-cart 
came  by,  going  its  rounds.  The  carter,  seeing  him  lie 
there,  supposed  him  to  be  dead,  and  did  not  too  nicely  inquire 
into  his  condition  ;  he  made  no  scruple  to  put  his  fork  under 
the  piper's  belt,  and  with  some  assistance  hoisted  him  into  the 
cart  ;  and  there  seemed  likely  to  be  an  end  of  the  Scotch  musi- 
cian. The  piper,  however,  always  had  a  faithful  dog  with 
him,  and  now  the  dog  protested  in  the  strongest  canine  fashion 
against  the  unceremonious  removal.  He  jumped  into  the  cart, 
which  was  nearly  full,  and,  placing  himself  by  his  master,  con- 
tinued his  loud  remonstrances,  suffering,  however,  no  one  to 
come  near  him,  but  he  constituted  himself  chief  mourner,  and 
kept  up  a  most  lamentable  howling.  The  way  was  long  and 
very  rough  ;  the  cart  jolted  in  such  a  manner  as  we  may  well 
conceive,  and  the  dog  howled  ;  and  between  the  two,  the  jolt- 
ing and  the  howling,  the  piper  awoke.  It  was  very  dark  ;  he 


218  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

knew  not  where  he  was,  nor  what  was  being  done  with  him  ; 
but  he  felt  instinctively  for  his  pipes — they  were  by  his  side 
— and  he  struck  up  perhaps  the  wildest  and  most  fearful  of  his 
Scotch  dissonances.  It  had  the  happy  effect  of  terrifying  to 
the  last  degree  the  carters,  who  wondered  whatever  creature 
they  had  got  in  their  conveyance.  A  little  inquiry,  however, 
put  all  to  rights  ;  lights  were  got,  and  it  turned  out  that  the 
noisy  corpse  was  a  living  piper,  who  was  thus  joyfully  saved 
from  a  premature  interment.  After  this  most  unpleasant  excur- 
sion the  poor  piper  himself  fell  very  ill — and  no  wonder  !  A 
gentleman  who  had  been  a  benefactor,  and  had  inquired  after 
the  musical  maestro  of  St.  Andrew's  Steps,  supported  him  dur- 
ing his  illness,  and,  impressed  by  the  incident,  it  was  he  who  em- 
ployed Gibber  to  perpetuate  the  piper  in  stone,  accompanied  by 
the  cause  of  his  danger  and  his  redemption — the  keg  of  liquor 
and  the  dog.  This  was  purchased  by  John,  the  great  Duke 
of  Argyle,  and  after  his  death  came  into  the  possession  of  the 
owner  of  the  garden  in  Tottenham  Court  Road.  Where  is  it 
now  ?  Editors  of  Notes  and  Queries,  Where  is  it  now  ? 

Instrumental  music  appears,  however,  to  have  been  regarded 
as  inconsistent  with  a  grave  religious  profession,  and  especially 
with  the  ministerial  character,  by  many  of  the  stern  old  Pres- 
byterian fathers,  perhaps  especially  of  the  New  Light  and  Anti- 
Burgher  persuasions.  We  remember  to  have  met  with  a  droll 
story  of  no  less  venerable  a  character  than  Ralph  Erskine, 
altnough  we  have  seen  it  attributed  to  Ebenezer.  The  only 
amusement  in  which  this  celebrated  man  indulged  was  playing 
on  the  violin.  He  was  so  great  a  proficient  on  this  instrument, 
and  so  often  beguiled  his  leisure  hours  with  it,  that  the  people 
of  Dunfermline  believed  he  composed  his  sermons  to  its  tones, 
as  a  poet  writes  a  song  to  a  particular  air.  They  tell  the  follow- 
ing traditionary  anecdote  connected  with  the  subject  :  A  poor 
man,  in  one  of  the  neighboring  parishes,  having  a  child  to  bap- 
tize, resolved  not  to  employ  his  own  clergyman,  with  whom 
he  was  at  issue  on  certain  points  of  doctrine,  but  to  have  the 
office  performed  by  some  minister  of  whose  tenets  fame  gave  a 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  219 

better  report.  With  the  child  in  his  arms,  therefore,  and  at- 
tended by  the  full  complement  of  young  and  old  women  who 
usually  minister  on  such  occasions,  he  proceeded  to  the  manse 
of ,  some  miles  off  (not  that  of  Mr.  Erskine),  where  he  in- 
quired if  the  clergyman  was  at  home.  "  Na  ;  he's  no  at  hamc 
yenoo,"  answered  the  servant  lass  ;  "he's  down  the  burn,  fish- 
ing ;  but  I  can  soon  cry  him  in."  "  Ye  needna  gie  yoursel 
the  trouble,"  replied  the  man,  quite  shocked  at  this  account  of 
the  minister's  habits  ;  "  nane  o'  your  fishin'  ministers  shall 
bapteeze  my  bairn."  Off  he  then  trudged,  followed  by  his 
whole  train,  to  the  residence  of  another  parochial  clergyman,  at 
the  distance  of  some  miles.  Here,  on  his  inquiring  if  the  min- 
ister was  at  home,  the  lass  answered,  "  Deed,  he's  no  at  hame 
the  day  ;  he's  been  out  since  sax  i'  the  morning  at  the  shoot- 
ing. Ye  needna  wait,  neither  ;  for  he'll  be  sae  made  out 
(fatigued)  when  he  comes  back  that  he'll  no  be  able  to  say  bo 
to  a  calf,  let-a-be  kirsen  a  wean  !"  "  Wait,  lassie  !"  said  the 
man  in  a  tone  of  indignant  scorn  ;  "  wad  I  wait,  d'ye  think, 
to  haud  up  my  bairn  before  a  minister  that  gangs  out  at  six  i' 
the  morning  to  shoot  God's  creatures  ?  I'll  awa  down  to  gude 
Mr.  Erskine  at  Dunfermline,  and  he'll  be  neither  out  at  the 
fishing  nor  shooting,  I  think."  The  whole  baptismal  train 
then  set  off  for  Dunfermline,  sure  that  the  father  of  the  seces- 
sion, although  not  now  a  placed  minister,  would  at  least  be 
engaged  in  no  unclerical  sports  to  incapacitate  him  from  per- 
forming the  sacred  ordinance  in  question.  On  their  arriving, 
however,  at  the  house  of  the  clergyman,  which  they  did  not  do 
till  late  in  the  evening,  the  man,  on  rapping  at  the  door,  antici- 
pated that  he  would  not  be  at  home  any  more  than  his  breth- 
ren, as  he  heard  the  strains  of  a  fiddle  proceeding  from  an 
upper  chamber.  "  The  minister  will  no  be  at  hame,"  he  said, 
with  a  sly  smile,  to  the  girl  who  came  to  the  door,  "  or  your 
lad  (sweetheart)  wadna  be  playing  that  gate  t'ye  on  the  fiddle." 
"  The  minister  is  at  hame,"  quoth  the  girl,  "  mair  by  token 
it's  himsel  that's  playing,  honest  man  ;  he  aye  takes  a  tune  at 
night  before  gangin  to  bed.  Faith,  there's  nae  lad  o'  mine  can 


220  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

play  that  gate  ;  it  wad  be  something  to  tell  if  ony  o'  them 
could."  "That  the  minister  playing  !"  cried  the  man,  in  a 
degree  of  astonishment  and  horror  far  transcending  what  he 
had  expressed  on  either  of  the  former  occasions.  "  If  he  does 
this,  what  may  the  rest  not  do  !  Weel,  I  fairly  gie  them  up 
a'thegither.  I  have  travelled  this  haill  day  in  search  o'  a  godly 
minister,  and  never  man  met  wi'  mair  disappointment  in  a 
day's  journey.  I'll  tell  ye  what,  gudewife,"  he  added,  turn- 
ing to  the  disconsolate  party  behind,  "  we'll  just  awa  back  to 
our  ain  minister  after  a'  !  He's  no  a'thegither  sound,  it's 
true  ;  but,  let  him  be  what  he  likes  in  doctrine,  deil  hae  me  if 
ever  I  kenned  him  fish,  shoot,  or  play  on  the  fiddle  a'  his 
•lays!" 

This  anecdote  seems  to  reveal  a  dour  kind  of  character,  but 
we  have  not  noticed  yet  a  characteristic  of  which  we  have  many 
instances — a  singular  absence  of  mind,  committing  itself  to  un- 
expected drolleries  of  expression,  something  like  those  we  may 
have  noticed  above.  Strang  mentions  an  anecdote  of  the  emi- 
nent Dr.  Freer,  who,  in  the  zeal  and  enthusiasm  of  his  profes- 
sion, was  often  plunged  into  this  entire  obliviousness.  Visiting 
a  young  woman,  for  whom  he  had  the  day  before  prescribed  a 
large  and  severe  blister  for  the  breast,  sitting  down  by  her  side, 
feeling  the  pulse  with  one  hand,  and  holding  his  gold  repeater 
in  the  other,  he  began  to  put  the  never-varying  primary  inqui- 
ries :  "  How  are  ye  to  day  ?  Are  ye  any  better  or  are  ye  any 
worse,  or  are  ye  in  much  the  same  way  ?"  To  which  the 
young  creature  replied,  "  I  canna  weel  say,  sir."  "I'm  glad 
of  it,"  said  the  doctor,  "Pm  glad  of  it.  Did  the  blister  do  ?" 
exclaimed  the  physician.  "  Oh,  yes,  sir  ;  it  rose  very  much 
indeed."  uPm  glad  of  it,  I'm  glad  of  it,"  said  the  doctor. 
"  Oh,  yes  ;  and,"  continued  the  patient,  evidently  suffering 
very  much  from  her  exertion,  "  it  gave  me  very  much  pain  and 
great  uneasiness."  "Pm  glad  of  it,  Pm  glad  of  it,"  contin- 
ued the  doctor,  and  hurried  away  delighted  with  the  success  of 
his  prescription,  but  leaving  the  poor  patient  not  a  little  sur- 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  221 

prised  at  the  odd  way  in  which  he  had  expressed  his  sense  of 
its  success. 

This  "I'm  glad  of  it,  I'm  glad  of  it  !"  reminds  us  of  an- 
other Scotch  worthy,  whose  similar  automatic  catch  of  speech 
was  "Such  as  it  is."  It  was  his  favorite  jerk  of  expression 
upon  every  occasion  ;  for  any  book  which  he  admired,  "  It's 
very  well,  such  as  it  is  ;"  for  any  sermon  he  heard,  "  Very 
well,  such  as  it  is."  It  was  sometimes  his  own  mode  of  mod- 
est depreciation  of  his  own  deserts  ;  it  was  sometimes  also  the 
way  in  which  he  expressed  his  admiration  for  any  topic  which 
happened  to  be  the  subject  of  conversation,  "  Verra,  well,  such 
as  it  is."  But  a  friend  of  ours  who  was  not  aware  of  his 
idiosyncrasy  was  a  little  puzzled  one  evening,  when,  after  din- 
ing with  him,  the  good  doctor  stood  by  his  door,  extending  to 
him  his  hand,  and  thanking  his  guest  for  his  company  and  his 
conversation,  added  his  usual  singular  qualification,  "  such — 
a*  it  is."  It  is  quite  curious  how  a  little  instance  like  this 
really  illustrates  a  great  deal  of  what  must  be  called  the  humor 
of  the  Scottish  character  growing  out  of  a  singular  absenteeism 
of  mind.  To  the  same  order  we  owe  the  droll,  solemn  antici- 
pation of  the  Scotchman  who,  standing  by  the  family  grave, 
said,  "  There  lie  my  gran' father  and  my  gran' mother,  and  my 
ain  father  and  mither,  and  there  lies  my  brither  Bob,  and  my 
puir  girl  Jeannie,  and  there  lies  my  wife,  and,  if  I'm  spared, 
here  I'll  lie  too." 

This  absenteeism  to  which  we  have  before  referred  finds  illus- 
tration in  many  anecdotes.  Colonel  Fergusson  says  :  "  Two 
men  more  unlikely  to  find  communion  of  idea  it  would  be  hard 
to  imagine  than  Mr.  Erskine  and  Lord  Balmuto.  But  his  lordship 
had  an  intense  admiration  for  his  companion's  humor  and  con. 
versation,  though  not  always  able  at  the  moment  to  appreciate 
their  beauties.  One  of  the  best  known  stories  of  Mr.  Erskine 
refers  to  an  occasion  when,  after  a  long  and  silent  walk  by  the 
side  of  his  friend,  Lord  Balmuto  burst  into  a  roar  of  laughter, 
exclaiming,  '  I  hae  ye  noo,  Harry  !  I  hae  ye  noo.'  The  mean- 


222  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

ing  of  one  of  Mr.  Erskine's  good  things  uttered  that  morning 
in  court  had  just  dawned  upon  him  ;  and  he  did  not  easily  get 
over  his  delight,  but  continued  to  chuckle  and  murmur  at  inter- 
vals, '  I  hae  ye  noo,'  all  the  way  home." 

Professor  Simpson,  the  very  eminent  mathematician,  fur- 
nishes many  instances  of  extraordinary  absence  of  mind.  One 
is  recorded  by  Dr.  Strang  of  the  professor  on  his  way  to  the 
Anderston  Club.  One  Saturday,  while  proceeding  toward  An- 
derston,  counting  his  steps  as  he  was  wont,  the  professor  was 
accosted  by  a  person  who,  we  may  suppose,  was  unacquainted 
with  his  singular  peculiarity.  At  this  moment  the  worthy 
geometrician  knew  that  he  was  just  five  hundred  and  teventy- 
three  paces  from  the  college  toward  the  snug  parlor  which  was 
anon  to  prove  the  rallying  point  of  the  hen-broth  amateurs  ;  and 
when  arrested  in  his  progress,  kept  repeating  the  mystic  num- 
ber, at  stated  intervals,  as  the  only  species  of  mnemonics  then 
known.  "  I  beg  your  pardon,"  said  the  personage,  accosting 
the  professor  :  "  one  word  with  you,  if  you  please."  "  Most 
happy — 573  !"  was  the  response.  "  Nay,"  rejoined  the  gen- 
tleman, merely  one  question.  "  Well,"  added  the  professor 
— "  5j3  !"  "  You  are  really  too  polite,"  interrupted  the 
stranger  ;  "  but  from  your  known  acquaintance  with  the  late 

Dr.  B ,  and  for  the  purpose  of  deciding  a  bet,  I  have  taken 

the  liberty  of  inquiring  whether  I  am  right  in  saying  that  that 
individual  left  five  hundred  pounds  to  each  of  his  nieces?" 
<4  Precisely  !"  replied  the  professor-"  573  !"  "  And  there 
were  only  four  nieces,  were  there  not  ?"  rejoined  the  querist. 
"  Exactly  !"  said  the  mathematician—''  573  !"  The  stran- 
ger, at  the  last  repetition  of  the  mystic  sound,  stared  at  the 
professor,  as  if  he  were  mad,  and  muttering  sarcastically 
"  573  !"  made  a  hasty  obeisance  and  passed  on.  The  profes- 
sor, seeing  the  stranger's  mistake,  hastily  advanced  another 
step,  and  cried  after  him,  "  No,  sir,  four  to  be  sure — 574  !" 
The  gentleman  was  still  further  convinced  of  the  mathema- 
tician's madness,  and  hurried  forward,  while  the  professor 
paced  on  leisurely  toward  the  west,  and  at  length,  happy  in  not 


XORTIIEKX     LIGHTS.  223 

being  baulked  in  his  calculation,  sat  down  delighted  amid  the 
circle  of  the  Anderston  Club. 

We  have  already  referred  to  the  intense  homeliness  of  the 
Scottish  character.  To  this  how  many  of  the  most  charming 
novelists  of  that  country  bear  testimony  by  the  scenes  in  their 
pages  ;  and  the  poets,  and  most  eminently  young  Robert  Nic- 
oll,  abound  in  such  pleasing  delineations  ;  so  also  in  a  number 
of  delightful,  although  almost  unknown,  old  pieces,  songs,  and 
ballads.  But  we  shall  quote  here  a  piece  of  rare,  and  we  vent- 
ure to  say  now  quite  unknown,  verse.  In  all  our  reading  of 
countless  Scottish  books,  we  never  remember  to  have  seen  it 
quoted. 

To  any  persons  to  whom  old  Scotch  is  interesting,  this  char- 
acteristic fireside  picture  must  be  a  delightful  reading.  The 
burden  of  the  song,  "Three  threeds  an1  a  thrum,"  is  the  trans- 
Jatidu  given  to  the  sound  of  the  cat's  purring,  by  the  Scotch, 
from  the  similarity  which  exists  between  it  and  the  "  birring11 
of  a  spinning-wheel,  to  which  "Three  threeds  an1  a  thrum''' 
evidently  refers  ;  the  refrain  of  the  piece  seems  to  represent 
the  deep  breathing  of  the  cat  upon  the  hearth,  and  the  whirr 
of  the  spinning-wheel  as  keeping  chime  together  ;  it  is  called — - 

AULD  BAWTHKEN'S  SANG, 
A'  'a  Scotch  Ingleside. 

11  The  gudewife  birrs  wi'  the  wheel  a'  day, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
A  walth  o'  wark,  an'  sma'  time  for  play, 
Wi'  the  lint  sae  white,  and  worset  gray, 
Work  fu'  hard  she  maun,  while  sing  I  may, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

Three  threeds  an"  a  thrum. 

"  The  gudewife  rises  frae  out  her  bed, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Wi'  her  cosey  nichk-mutch  round  her  head, 
To  steer  the  fire  to  a  blaze  sae  red  ; 


224  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Her  feet  I  rub  wi'  welcome  glad, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  I  daumder  round  her  wi'  blythesome  birr, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
An'  rub  on  her  legs  my  sleek  warm  fur  ; 
Wi'  sweeps  o'  my  tail  I  welcome  her, 
An'  round  her  rin,  wherever  she  stir, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  The  men-folks'  time  for  rest  is  gye  sma' — 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

They're  out  in  sunshine  an'  out  in  snaw  ; 

Tho'  cauld  winds  whistle,  or  rain  should  fa', 

I,  i'  the  ingle,  dae  nought  ava', 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  I  like  the  gudeman,  but  loe  the  wife, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Days  mony  they've  seen  o'  leil  and  strife  ; 

O'  sorrow  human  hours  are  rife  ; 

Their  hand's  been  mine  a'  the  days  o'  my  life 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  Auld  bawthren's  gray,  she  kitten' d  me  here, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
An'  wha  was  my  sire  I  ne'er  did  spier  ; 
Brithers  an'  sisters  smoor'  d  i'  the  weir, 
Left  me  alane  to  my  mither  dear, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  An'  syne  she  loe'd  me  muckle  mair, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 


•  NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  225 

For  want  o'  her  weans,  near  a'  ta'en  frae'r, 
Her  only  kitten  ahe  couldna  spare, 
I  a  healing  was  to  her  heart  sae  sair. 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

*'  As  I  grew  a  cat,  wi*  look  sae  douse, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
She  learnt  me  to  catch  the  pilf'rin'  mouse  ; 
Wi'  the  thief -like  rottons  I  had  nae  truce, 
But  banish'd  them  frae  the  maister's  house, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  Mither  got  fushonless,  auld,  an'  blin', 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
The  bluid  in  her  veins  was  cauld  an'  thin  ; 
Her  claws  were  blunt,  an'  she  conldna  rin, 
An'  t'her  forbears  was  sune  gather' d  in, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum. 

"  Now  I  sit  hurklin'  aye  i'  the  ase, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 
The  queen  I  am  o'  that  cosey  place  ; 
As  wi'  ilka  paw  I  dicht  my  face, 
I  sing  an*  purr,  wi'  mickle  grace, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum, 

Three  threeds  an'  a  thrum." 

That  old  cat  was  keeping  up  a  terrible  thinking,  but  she  gives 
us  a  very  pleasant  insight  of  a  Scottish  ingleside  of  the  olden 
time. 

There  are  some  phases  of  Scottish  life  and  character  to  which 
we  have  made  no  reference — not  much  to  what  may  be  called 
a  certain  "  sly  and  sleikit"  way  which  the  canny  Scot  has  pos- 
sessed from  time  immemorial — the  power  to  lay  flattery  on 
thick  when  it  seems  likely  to  serve  a  necessity  ;  but  of  this 


226  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

trait  the  following  address  of  the  Town  Council  of  the  good 
town  of  Dumfries  to  James  I.,  when  on  his  way  to  the  English 
throne,  is  certainly  a  not  less  curious  than  astounding  illustra- 
tion. 

"  On  Monday,"  it  is  said  by  way  of  prelude,  "  the  ferd  of 
August,  1617,  his  Majestic,  returning  to  England,  past  Dum- 
fries, where,  at  the  entrie  of  the  towne,  this  speech  was  deliv- 
ered by  Mr.  James  Halyday  (of  Pibloche,  advocate,  son  of 
John  Halyday,  of  Tullyboill,  advocate),  Commissar  there. 

"  '  Your  Royall  Majestic,  in  whose  sacred  person  the  King 
of  kings  hath  miraculouslie  united  so  many  glorious  kingdoms, 
under  whose  scepter  the  whyte  and  the  reid  crocies  are  so  pro- 
portionablie  interlaced,  the  lion  and  the  leopard  draw  up  one 
equall  yok,  and  the  most  honorable  orders  of  the  thistle  and 
garter  march  togidder,  is  most  heartelie  welcome  to  this  your 
Majestic' s  ever  loyall  towne,  whose  magistrats  and  people,  now 
beholding  your  long-desired  face,  do  imitat  the  lizard.  For  no 
diamonts  nor  carbuncles  by  lustre  can  so  allure  the  eyes,  as 
doeth  the  brightness  of  your  countenance  our  eyes  and  hearts. 
Hence  it  is  that  the  mynds  of  your  good  subjects  are  filled  with 
such  incomprehensible  joy.  And  considering  the  innumerable 
comforts  which  this  your  Majestic' s  ancient  and  unconquered 
Scotland  (unica  vicinis  toties  pulsata  procellis,  Externi  immunis) 
hath  received  under  your  happie  government,  both  in  Kirk  and 
Politic,  what  merveill  is  it  to  see  the  flamme  of  their  love  kyth 
in  their  faces  and  tongues,  two  infallible  witnesses  of  their 
hearts  ?  To  recken  all  it  wer  impossible,  to  speake  of  none  it 
were  ungrateful  ;  if  I  speake  out  of  one,  which  is  Peace,  they 
who,  with  bleeding  hearts  and  weeping  eyes,  did  daylie  taist  of 
the  bitter  fruietes  of  discord,  inward  and  outward  broyles,  shall 
acknowledge  even  that  onlie  Peace  to  bee  all  they  could  have 
wished,  and  more  than  ever  they  could  have  hoped  for.  For 
what  is  to  be  wished  that  wee  doe  not  enjoy  with  it  ?  Omnia 
pace  vigent.  Now  Justice  hath  unsheathed  her  sword  ;  now 
basse  assentation  hath  no  place,  and  sycophants  ar  put  to 
.-ilence  ;  now  is  not  sucked  out  the  marrow  of  the  people  by 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  227 

odious  and  unjust  monopolies  ;  now  is  not  the  husbandman  his 
face  worne  with  the  grindstone  of  extortion,  but  sitting  under 
his  owne  aple-trie,  he  in  peace  eateth  the  fruietes  of  his  labors  ; 
Relligion  hath  her  place  ;  Law  is  in  vigor  ;  Naboth  bruketh  his 
own  vin-yard,  Achitopell  his  just  reward  ;  siraonie  preferreth 
not  Balaam  ;  no  doeth  corrupting  gold  set  up  a  judge  in  Israel  ; 
but  everie  place  is  provided  with  some  one  fitting  and  suitable 
for  the  same. 

"  '  If  silent  in  these  things,  should  wee  not  be  convinced  of 
ingratitude  to  Almightie  God,  by  whose  grace  wee  have  this 
oure  Solomon,  by  whose  providence  under  God,  these  good 
things  are  procured  unto  us,  and  at  the  fountaine  of  whose  wis- 
dome  so  many  kingdoms  and  states  get  daylie  refreshment  ? 
Who  wold  essey  to  speake  worthelie  of  your  worthie,  rare, 
Royall,  and  heroicall  vertues,  should  have  eloquence  for  his 
tongue  ;  and  let  any  speake  what  hee  can,  what  can  hee  speake 
but  that  which  everie  man  doeth  know  ?  For  there  is  no  corner 
of  the  earth  which  hath  not  heard  of  your  Majestic,  that  yee  are 
not  onlie  a  mirour  but  a  master  of  kings  ;  not  only  a  pattern  e 
to  their  lyfe,  but  also  a  patrone  of  their  cause.  Doeth  not 
your  Royall  practise  and  penning  prove  all  these  ?  and  knoweth 
hee  anything  to  whom  your  Basilikon  Down,  and  your  learned 
writings  against  the  supporters  of  the  Antichristian  Hierarchic, 
is  not  knowne  ?  0,  sir,  your  Majestic  oweth  much  unto  your 
King,  that  King  of  kings  by  whome  so  much  unto  you  is  be- 
stowed. That  wee  see  the  face  of  him  whome  God  hath 
anoynted  so  above  his  fellowes,  is  the  ground  of  all  these  joyes 
which  we  enjoy  this  day.  In  the  fulnesse  of  which  joyes  this 
one  thing  breeds  us  anguish,  that  this  your  Majestie's  ever 
loyall  towne  (whose  ever  were,  are,  and  shall  be  resolved  to 
sacrifice  their  lyvesin  their  Prince's  service,  and  of  which  God 
made  choice  that  it  shud  be  the  place  where  your  Majestie's 
most  Royall  Ancester,  the  waliant  Bruce,  killed  the  Comyn, 
extirpated  the  Baliol  blood,  and  re-established  the  Royall  race 
of  our  native  Princes),  now  should  bee  the  last  period  of  youi 
Majestie's  progresse  within  your  most  ancient  kingdome. 


228  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

Would  God  it  could  bee  circular,  as  that  of  our  other  sunne, 
that  all  your  Majestic' s  subjects  might  enjoy  the  comfort  of 
your  presence  be  vicissitude  !  But  let  God's  will  and  your 
Majestic' s  weel  be  the  measure  of  our  desires. 

"  '  And  since  we  perceive  the  force  of  our  loadstone  failing, 
so  that  it  hath  no  more  power  of  retention  ;  seeing  your 
Majestic  will  southward,  wee  would  wish  your  course  more 
meridionall,  even  trans-alpine,  that  the  Romish  idol,  the  whore 
of  Babel,  might  repent  of  her  too  presumptuous  sitting  in  the 
Kirk  of  God,  in  God's  owne  chaire,  above  the  crownes  of 
kings.  Let  her  feel  the  furie  of  your  sword,  let  her  knowe  the 
sharpness  of  your  pike,  as  weel  as  of  your  pen  ;  in  that  expedi- 
tion shall  not  be  last  mavoritia  pectora  Scoti.  For,  may  we  not 
now,  by  God's  assistance,  in  like  courage  and  magnanimitie, 
levell  with  the  ground  their  walls  there,  as  wee  did  heere  of 
these  monstrous  heapes  of  stones  and  rampires  reared  by  their 
Emperour  Severus  and  Hadrian  ?  Espcciallie  now,  having  the 
concurrence  of  that  bellicose  and  resolute  natione  which  God 
hath  made  to  come  under  your  standard  with  us,  how  can  wee 
but  have  hope  to  cause  all  them  who  will  fight  against  God  for 
Babylon,  like  as  many  hoards  of  animals  scattered  on  Mount 
Aventine  and  Appennine,  will  make  jacks  of  old  dyks  ?  But, 
remitting  this  and  all  other  your  Majestic' s  desigenes  to  God's 
gratious  dispensation  and  your  worthie  disposition,  we  close  up 
our  speach,  praying  Almightie  God  that  you  and  your  High- 
nesse's  Royall  progenie  may  sit  upon  the  thrones  of  your  domin- 
ions with  increasse  of  all  heavenlie  and  earthlie  blessings,  so 
long  as  the  sunne  and  moone  shall  have  place  in  the  firmament 
of  heaven.  Amen.'  ' 

There  is  a  feature  of  Scottish  life  and  character  of  which 
many  interesting  instances  may  be  given  ;  the  character  we 
ordinarily  call  the  fool,  the  half-witted  one.  "  Whistle  Binkie" 
was  the  sobriquet  of  one  of  these  poor  "  naturals,"  a  noted 
character  o*  >St.  Andrews  the  Earl  of  Buchan  was  very  friendly 
to,  and  one  Sunday  said  to  him,  "  What  for  are  ye  looking  so 
sad  the  day,  Whistle  Binkie?"  "Weel,  my  lord,  the 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  229 

Almighty  asked  me  just  the  same  question  yester-e'en,  saying 
unto  me,  '  Whistle  Binkie,  why  art  thou  cast  down  ? '  and  I 
answered  and  said,  '  Because  they  have  thrust  me  out  from  the 
Presbytery  of  St.  Andrews,  neither  will  they  suffer  me  to  enter 
therein.'  And  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  '  Be  not  thou  cast 
down  on  that  account,  Whistle  Binkie,  for  I  the  Lord  have 
been  striving  to  get  into  the  Presbyteiy  of  St.  Andrews  this 
forty  years,  and  I  have  not  won  once  yet.'  '  But,  from  the 
many,  one  of  the  most  interesting  was  Jamie  Fleeman,  the 
Laird  of  Udney's  fool,  near  Aberdeen.  A  little  story  of  his 
life  and  death  is  published,  and  the  edition  in  our  hands  is  the 
thirty-fourth  thousand.  Like  so  many  of  his  singular  class, 
his  life  was  redundant  in  witty  saws  which  kept,  and  still  keep, 
not  merely  the  good  old  town  of  Aberdeen,  but  all  Aberdeen- 
shire  laughing.  A  minister  in  the  neighborhood,  a  Mr.  Cragie, 
had  been  rather  free  in  calling  Jamie  "  a  fool."  Jamie  picked 
up  a  horseshoe  in  the  road,  and  seeing  Cragie  coming  along, 
took  it  to  him  to  ask  him  if  he  could  tell  him  what  it  was. 
"  That,"  said  the  minister,  "  that's  a  horseshoe,  you  fool  !" 
"  Ah,"  said  Fleeman  with  a  sigh,  "  an  sic  a  blessing  as  it  is  to 
be  weel  lamed  ;  I  could na  tell  whether  it  was  a  horse's  shoe  or 
a  mare's  shoe  !"  Once,  after  church,  somebody  asked  him 
where  was  the  text.  "  In  the  tenth  chapter  of  Ephcsians," 
said  Jamie.  "  And  what  verse  ?"  "  Na,  na,  now  you  want 
to  know  too  much,"  he  said  ;  "ye  wish  to  ken  a'  things  ;  if 
you  find  the  chapter,  ye' 11  be  sure  to  find  the  verse."  A  man 
met  him  who  thought  to  play  upon  his  credulity,  saying, 
"Jamie,  have  ye  heard  the  news?"  "No;  what  news, 
man  ?"  "  Oh,  that  seven  miles  of  the  sea  are  burned  up  at 
Newburgh  this  morning."  "  Ah,"  said  Jamie,  "  now  I  know 
why  I  just  now  saw  a  flock  of  haddocks  flying  to  the  woods  ; 
they  were  going  to  build  there  !"  Poor  Jamie  !  While  he 
was  dying,  the  poor  creature  heard  a  conversation  by  his  bed- 
side. One  said,  "  I  wonder  if  he  has  any  sense  of  another 
world  or  a  future  reckoning  !"  "  Oh,  no,"  was  the  reply  ; 
4 '  he's  a  fool,  he's  a  fool  ;  what  can  he  know  of  such  things  ?" 


230  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

Jamie  heard  the  conversation,  opened  his  eyes,  and  looked  the 
last  speaker  in  the  face,  saying,  "  I  never  heard  that  God 
seeks  what  He  did  not  give  ;  but  I  am  a  Christian,  and  dinna 
bury  me  like  a  beast."  They  were  his  last  words  ;  but,  in 
fact,  the  love  of  neighbors  carried  him  very  affectionately  to 
the  grave,  and  even  raised  a  modest  granite  stone  over  his  re- 
mains, bearing  his  last  prayer,  "  Dinna  bury  me  like  a  beast  !" 
\Ve  suppose  no  stranger  will  be  many  hours  in  old  Aberdeen 
even  to-day  without  hearing  of  this  wandering  oddity — perhaps 
the  last  of  Scotland's  chartered  "  fools." 

Characters  not  so  innocent,  but  something  of  the  same  order 
— odd  and  wandering  wits — meet  us  in  the  larger  cities,  like 
Glasgow  and  Edinburgh  ;  Dougal  Grahame,  Bowed  Joseph,  the 
last  so  called  because  he  was  the  hunchback  of  Edinburgh. 
Bowed  Joseph  and  Dougal  Grahame  were,  however,  men  of 
great  power  over  the  multitudes  and  mobs,  with  their  snatches 
of  song  and  wild  speeches. 

The  following  interesting  anecdote  is  handed  down  concern- 
ing Bowed  Joseph,  which  proves  his  strong  love  of  justice,  as 
well  as  the  humanity  of  his  heart.  A  poor  man  in  the  Pleasance, 
from  certain  untoward  circumstances,  found  it  impossible  to 
pay  his  rent  at  Martinmas  ;  and  his  hard-hearted  landlord, 
refusing  a  portion  of  the  same,  with  a  forlorn  promise  of  the 
remainder  being  soon  paid,  sold  off  the  whole  effects  of  the 
tenant,  and  threw  him,  with  a  family  of  six  children,  in  a  most 
miserable  condition,  upon  the  wide  world.  The  unfortunate 
man,  in  a  fit  of  despair,  immediately  put  an  end  to  his  exist- 
ence, by  which  the  family  were  only  rendered  still  more  desti- 
tute. Bowed  Joseph,  however,  did  not  long  remain  ignorant 
of  the  case.  As  soon  as  the  affair  became  generally  known 
throughout  the  city,  he  shouldered  on  his  drum,  and  after  half 
an  hour's  beating  through  the  streets,  found  himself  followed 
by  a  mob  of  ten  thousand  people.  With  this  enormous  army 
he  marched  to  an  open  space  of  ground,  now  almost  covered 
by  Eldin  Street,  named  in  former  times  Thompson's  Park, 
\vliore,  mounted  on  the  shoulders  of  six  of  his  lieutenant-gen- 


NORTHERN    MOHTS.  231 

erals,  he  harangued  them  in  the  true  "  Cambyses  vein,"  con- 
cerning the  flagrant  and  fatal  proceeding,  for  the  redress  of 
which  they  were  assembled.  He  concluded  by  directing  his 
men  to  seek  the  premises  of  the  cruel  landlord  ;  and  as  his 
house  lay  directly  opposite  the  spot  in  the  Pleasance,  there  was 
no  time  lost  in  executing  his  orders.  The  mob  entered,  and 
seized  upon  every  article  of  furniture  that  could  be  found  ;  and 
in  ten  minutes  the  whole  was  packed  in  the  park.  Joseph  set 
fire  to  them  with  his  own  hands,  though  the  magistrates  stood 
by  with  a  guard  of  soldiers,  and  entreated  him  to  desist.  The 
eight-day  clock  is  said  to  have  struck  twelve  just  as  it  was  con- 
signed to  the  flames.  When  such  was  the  strength  and  organ  i- 
xation  of  an  Edinburgh  mob,  so  late  as  the  year  1780,  we  need 
scarcely  be  surprised  at  the  instance  on  which  the  tale  of  "  The 
Heart  of  Mid-Lothian"  is  founded,  happening,  as  it  did,  at  a 
much  earlier  period,  and  when  the  people  were  prompted  to 
their  terrible  purpose  by  sternest  feelings  of  personal  re- 
venge. 

In  the  exercise  of  his  perilous,  self-constituted  office,  it  does 
not  appear  that  Bowed  Joseph  ever  drew  down  the  vengeance 
of  the  more  lawfully  constituted  authorities  of  the  land.  He 
•was,  on  the  contrary,  in  some  degree  countenanced  by  the 
magistrates  of  the  city,  who  frequently  sent  for  him  to  the 
council  chamber,  in  cases  of  emergency,  to  consult  him  on  the 
best  means  to  be  adopted  for  appeasing  and  dispersing  the 
mob.  On  an  occasion  of  this  moment,  he  was  accustomed  to 
look  very  large  and  consequential.  "  With  one  hand  carelessly 
applied  to  his  side,  and  the  other  banged  resolutely  down  upon 
the  table,  and  with  as  much  majesty  as  four  feet,  and  a  head  of 
as  many  weeks  old  could  assume,  and  with  as  much  turbulence 
in  his  tiery  little  eye  as  if  he  was  himself  a  mob,  he  would 
stand  before  them  pleading  the  cause  of  his  compeers,  or  direct- 
ing the  trembling  council  to  the  most  expedient  method  of 
assuaging  their  fury.  The  dismissal  of  a  mob,  on  these  occa- 
sions, was  usually  accomplished  at  the  expense  of  a  few  hogs- 
heads of  ale,  broached  on  Carlton  Hill,  and  by  the  subsequent 


232  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

order  of  their  bowed  general,  expressed  in  the  simple  words, 
'  Disperse,  my  lads  ! ' ' 

Having  for  many  years  exercised  an  unlimited  dominion  over 
the  affections  of  the  rabble,  "  Bowed  Joseph"  met  his  death  at 
last  in  a  manner  most  unworthy  of  his  character  and  great  repu- 
tation. He  fell  from  the  top  of  a  Leith  coach  in  a  state  of  in- 
toxication, and  broke  his  neck,  which  caused  instantaneous 
death.  He  had  been  at  the  Leith  race,  and  was  on  his  return 
to  Edinburgh,  when  the  accident  took  place  ;  and  his  skeleton 
has  the  honor  of  being  preserved  in  the  anatomical  class-room 
of  the  college  of  Edinburgh.  Though  fifty  years  have  elapsed 
since  his  decease,  Bowed  Joseph  is  not  yet  forgotten  in  the 
town  where  he  governed  ;  for  many  an  old  man  in  Pauls  Worth 
and  Leith  Wynd  will  call  his  grandchildren  about  him  of  a 
king's  birth  eve,  and  tell  them  of  the  immortal  achievement  of 
the  bowed  ancestor  of  General  Joseph  Smith. 

In  this  age  of  change,  the  changes  which  have  been  brought 
about  in  Scotland  are  among  the  most  startling  and  astonishing. 
It  would  seem  that  from  the  time  of  the  suppression  of  the 
Rebellion,  in  1746,  Scotland  has  gone  on  rapidly  but  steadily 
improving.  Trade  and  commerce  have  not  been  so  much  im- 
proved as  created.  In  London,  in  Ayrshire,  we  read  that,  in 
1731,  there  were  two  carts  and  wagons  in  the  parish  ;  in  1792 
there  were  two  hundred  and  fifty  ;  we  do  not  know  how  many 
there  may  be  now.  The  minister  of  a  Lowland  parish  in  Angus 
gives  a  very  amusing  account  and  comparison  of  the  state  of 
the  country  at  two  periods  of  time — 1760  and  1790 — both 
periods  witnessed  by  himself  :  "  In  1760  land  was  rented  at 
six  shillings  an  acre  ;  at  1790  land  is  rented  at  thirty  shillings. 
In  1760  no  English  cloth  was  worn  but  by  the  minister  and  a 
Quaker  ;  in  1790  there  are  few  who  do  not  wear  English  cloth 
— several,  the  best  superfine.  In  1760  men's  stockings  in  gen- 
eral were  what  was  called  plaiding  hose,  made  of  white  woollen 
cloth.  The  women  wore  coarse  plaids.  Not  a  cloak  nor  bon- 
net was  worn  by  any  woman  in  the  whole  parish.  In  1790 
cotton  and  thread  stockings  were  worn  by  both  sexes,  masters 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  233 

and  servants  ;  some  have  silk  ones.  The  women  who  wear 
plaids  have  them  fine  and  faced  with  silk  ;  silk  plaids,  cloaks, 
and  bonnets  are  very  numerous.  In  1760  there  were  only  two 
hats  in  the  parish  (he  does  not  think  it  necessary  to  explain 
that  they  were  his  own  and  his  friend  the  Quaker's)  ;  in  1790 
few  bonnets  (meaning  men's  caps,  known  as  '  Kilmarnock  bon- 
nets')  are  worn  ;  the  bonnet-maker  trade  in  the  next  parish  is 
given  up.  In  1760  there  was  only  one  eight-day  clock  in  the 
parish,  six  watches,  and  one  tea-kettle  ;  in  1790  there  are 
thirty  clocks,  above  a  hundred  watches,  and  at  least  one  hun- 
dred and  sixty  tea-kettles,  there  being  scarce  a  family  but  hath 
one,  and  many  that  hath  two.  In  1760  the  people  in  this 
parish  never  visited  each  other  but  at  Christmas.  The  enter- 
tainment was  broth  and  beef.  The  visitors  sent  to  an  alehouse 
for  five  or  six  pints  of  ale  (Scotch  pints,  reader,  each  equal  to 
four  English),  and  were  merry  over  it,  without  any  ceremony. 
In  1790  people  visited  each  other  often.  A  few  neighbors  are 
invited  to  one  house  to  dinner.  Six  or  seven  dishes  are  set  on 
the  table,  elegantly  dressed.  After  dinner  a  large  bowl  of  rum 
punch  is  drunk  ;  then  tea  ;  again  another  bowl  ;  after  that, 
supper  ;  and  what  they  call  the  '  grace  drink. '  ' 

Travellers  accustomed  in  these  latter  years  to  skirt  for  their 
enjoyment  the  banks  of  Loch  Lomond,  and  to  recreate  them- 
selves among  the  beautiful  grounds  of  the  Hotel  of  Tarbet,  and 
the  ample  accommodations  on  the  opposite  side,  Inversnayde, 
will  perhaps  find  no  little  amusement  at  the  unfortunate  advent- 
ures of  Saint  Fond,  whom  we  have  already  quoted,  in  these 
neighborhoods  :  ' '  But  we  had  scarcely  proceeded  a  mile  on  the 
banks  of  the  lake,  when  night  came  on,  and  deprived  us  of  the 
prospect  ;  we  saw  only  a  few  islands,  which  appeared  very 
picturesque.  It  was  ten  o'clock  when  we  arrived  at  Luss. 
This  place  being  marked  on  the  map,  I  expected  that  it  was  a 
village,  or  at  least  a  hamlet.  It  was,  however,  only  one  house, 
and  such  a  miserable  habitation  that  I  believed  I  was  entering 
into  a  fishing  hut  ;  but  our  astonishment  was  great  indeed, 
upon  observing  that  signs  were  made  us  not  to  speak,  which 


234  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

seemed  to  signify  that  there  was  a  person  sleeping,  whose 
repose  we  ought  not  to  disturb.  We  believed  that  there  was 
some  person  very  much  indisposed  in  the  house,  for  this  was 
what  the  expressive  gestures  of  the  mistress  and  three  servants 
seemed  to  announce.  We  therefore  did  not  venture  to  open 
our  mouths,  but  what  we  wanted  seemed  to  be  understood  ;  we 
were,  however,  conducted,  or  rather  driven,  into  a  kind  of 
stable,  where  we  received  an  audience  ;  indeed,  it  was  not  a 
long  one.  '  The  justiciary  lords, '  said  the  hostess,  '  do  me  the 
honor  to  lodge  here  when  they  are  on  this  circuit.  There  is 
one  of  them  here  at  present.  He  is  asleep,  and  nobody  must 
disturb  him.  His  horses  are  in  the  stable  ;  so  you  see  there  is 
no  room  for  yours,  and  it  is  needless  for  you  to  stay.'  '  But, 
mistress,'  said  one  of  our  drivers — for  we  durst  not  venture  to 
speak — '  look  at  our  poor  horses,  and  consider  this  terrible 
rain.'  '  How  can  I  help  it  ?  '  replied  she.  We  went  off,  and 
she  shut  the  door  after  us,  and  double-locked  it  ;  but  first 
called  out  to  us,  '  Make  no  noise  ;  his  lordship  must  not  be 
disturbed.  Everybody  should  pay  respect  to  the  law.  God 
bless  you  !  farewell  ! ' 

"  We  could  not  avoid  laughing  at  this  laconic  kind  of  elo- 
quence, which  admitted  of  no  reply,  and  this  singular  mode  of 
showing  respect  for  a  judge.  We  were,  however,  obliged  to 
proceed  on  our  journey,  feeling  much  more  for  our  poor  drivers 
and  the  horses  than  we  did  for  ourselves.  Unluckily  we  had 
still  to  travel  fifteen  miles  in  a  dark  and  stormy  night,  along 
the  banks  of  the  lake,  before  we  could  meet  any  habitation. 
Never  in  my  life  did  I  make  so  disagreeable  a  journey,  nor  one 
which  appeared  so  long.  Our  horses,  though  good,  were 
fatigued,  and  with  difficulty  carried  us  forward.  Our  drivers 
wished  all  the  judges  in  Scotland  a  hundred  times  to  the  devil, 
and  lavished  a  hundred  curses  on  the  landlady  of  Luss.  We 
endeavored  to  console  them  in  the  best  manner  we  could,  by 
promising  them  a  recompense,  which  indeed  they  justly 
earned. ;  for  they  were  wet  to  the  skin  with  a  cold  rain.  At 
last  we  got  to  the  end  of  our  tedious  and  painful  journey,  arriv- 


NORTHERN"    LTOHTS.  235 

ing  at  half-past  three  in  the  morning  at  a  place  called  Taibet, 
which  was  also  a  single  house." 

The  troubles  of  our  ancient  French  geologist,  however,  were 
not  even  as  yet  at  an  end  ;  the  people  of  the  house  rose  readily 
from  their  beds,  and  the  horses  found  good  stabling ;  there 
was  no  judge  within,  whose  judicial  slumbers  compelled  rever- 
ing silence  ;  but  there  were  what  was,  if  possible,  worse — a 
batch  of  jurymen  on  their  way  to  Inverary  who  had  taken  pos- 
session of  all  the  beds.  So  after  something  to  eat,  and  some 
tea,  our  travellers,  or  some  of  them,  had  to  pass  the  remainder 
of  the  night  in  their  carriages,  while  the  landlady  drew  the 
mattresses  from  her  own  bed  and  provided  for  the  rest  on  the 
floor.  This  presents  Tarbet  in  a  very  different  aspect  to  that 
by  which  it  is  known  now  to  travellers  on  Loch  Lomond  ; 
although  the  beds  there,  according  to  our  very  recent  experi- 
ence, are  hard  enough  still. 

The  following  semi-burlesque  description  of  an  old  Scottish 
roadside  inn  is,  in  fact,  more  amusing  than  consistent  with 
truth — though  some  resemblances  are  not  altogether  incorrect 
at  this  distance  of  time  among  the  bleak  and  thinly  populated 
mountains.  Arrived  at  mine  host's,  early  or  late,  "  if  you  are 
wet,  the  fire  will  be  lighted  by  the  time  you  are  dry  ;  at  least, 
if  the  peat  is  not  wet  too.  The  smoke  of  wet  peat  is 
wholesome  ;  and  if  you  are  not  used  to  it,  the  inmates  are, 
which  is  the  very  same  thing.  There  is  neither  poker  nor 
tongs  —you  can  stir  the  fire  with  your  umbrella  ;  nor  bellows — 
you  can  blow  it,  unless  you  are  asthmatic,  with  your  mouth  ; 
or  what  is  better  still,  Peggy  will  fan  it  with  her  petticoat. 
'  I>eggy>  's  the  supper  coming  ? '  In  time  come  mutton,  called 
chops  (Qy.  collops),  then  mustard,  by  and  by  a  knife  and 
fork  ;  successively  a  plate,  candle,  and  salt.  When  the  mutton 
is  cold,  the  pepper  arrives,  and  then  the  bread,  and  lastly  the 
whiskey.  The  water  is  reserved  for  the  second  course.  By 
this  time  the  fire  is  dying,  and  Peggy  waits  till  it  is  dead,  and 
the  whole  process  of  the  peats  and  petticoats  is  to  be  gone  over 
again.  .'  Peggy,  is  the  bed  ready  ?  '  By  the  time  you  have 


236  SCOTTISH   CHARACTERISTICS. 

fallen  asleep  once  or  twice,  it  is  ready.  When  you  enter,  it  is 
damp  ;  but  how  should  it  be  dry  in  such  a  climate  ?  The 
blankets  feel  so  heavy  that  you  expect  to  get  warm  in  time. 
Not  at  all  ;  they  have  the  property  of  weight  without  warmth  ; 
though  there  is  a  fulling  mill  at  Kilmahog.  You  awake  at  two 
o'clock,  very  cold,  and  find  that  they  have  slipped  over  on  the 
floor.  You  try  to  square  them  again  ;  but  such  is  their  weight 
they  fall  on  the  other  side  ;  and,  at  last,  by  dint  of  kicking 
and  pulling,  they  become  immediately  entangled,  sheets  and 
all  ;  and  sleep  flies,  whatever  King  Harry  may  think,  to  take 
refuge  on  other  beds  and  other  blankets. 

"  It  is  in  vain  you  try  again  to  court  the  drowsy  god,  and 
you  get  up  at  five.  Water  being  so  contemptibly  common,  it 
is  probable  that  there  is  none  present  ;  or  if  there  is,  it  has 
a  delicious  flavor  of  stale  whiskey  ;  so  that  you  may  almost 
imagine  the  Highland  hills  to  run  grog.  There  is  no  soap  in 
Mrs.  Maclarty's  house.  It  is  prudent  also  to  learn  to  shave 
without  a  looking-glass  ;  because,  if  there  be  one  present,  it  is 
so  furrowed,  and  stripped,  and  striated,  either  crossways,  per- 
pendicularly, or  diagonally,  that,  in  consequence  of  what  Sir 
Isaac  Newton  might  call  its  fit  of  irregular  reflection  and  trans- 
mission, you  cut  your  nose  if  it  distorts  you  one  way,  and  your 
ears  if  it  protracts  you  in  the  opposite  direction. 

"  The  towel  being  either  wet  or  dirty,  or  both,  you  wipe 
yourself  with  the  moreen  curtains,  unless  you  prefer  the  sheets. 
When  you  return  to  your  sitting-room,  the  table  is  covered 
with  glasses  and  mugs,  and  circles  of  dried  whiskey  and  porter. 
The  fireplace  is  full  of  white  ashes.  You  labor  to  open  a  win- 
dow, if  it  will  open,  that  you  may  get  a  little  of  the  morning 
air,  and  there  being  no  sash-line,  it  falls  on  your  fingers,  as  it 
did  on  Susannah's.  Should  you  break  a  pane,  it  is  of  no  con- 
sequence, as  it  will  never  be  mended  again.  The  clothes  which 
you  sent  to  be  washed  are  brought  up  wet,  and  those  which 
you  sent  to  be  dried,  smoked." 

Well,  all  this  is  altered  now,  although  we  have  introduced 
this  burlesque  description  here  for  the  purpose  of  saying  that 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  23? 

the  present  writer  could  recite  experiences,  scarcely  less  odd  or 
disagreeable,  of  some  of  his  wanderings,  and  especially  above 
Perth,  some  thirty -five  years  since. 

And,  indeed,  how  pleasant  it  would  be  to  double  the  size  of 
this  volume  from  the  quantity  of  material,  unrevealed,  lying  all 
around  us.  As  it  is,  here  we  must  close,  trusting  that  in  our 
pages  we  have  not  too  much  offended  the  prejudices  of  any 
Spot,  however  we  may  have  inadequately  expressed  our  admira- 
tion for  a  country  and  a  people,  however  small,  among  the  most 
interesting  on  the  long  scroll  of  human  history. 

"  A  country,"  to  adopt  the  words  of  an  eloquent  preacher, 
"  where  Providence  seems  to  have  repaid  in  moral  advantages 
all  that  has  been  withheld  in  the  indulgence  of  nature.  Men," 
continues  he,  "  are  ripened  in  these  northern  climes,  and  every 
country  becomes  tributary  to  that  which  by  skill  and  industry 
knows  how  to  draw  from  the  stores  of  all.  Strangers  to  lux- 
ury, undaunted  by  danger,  unsubdued  by  danger,  undismayed 
by  hardships,  your  countrymen  are  found  wherever  arts,  agri- 
culture, and  commerce  extend,  contributing  to  the  improvement 
and  sharing  in  the  prosperity  of  every  civilized  people  under 
heaven.  What  country  in  the  world  scatters  from  a  scanty 
population  so  numerous  a  train  of  hardy,  intrepid  adventurers, 
who  follow  wherever  gain  or  glory  mark  the  way,  braving  all 
the  extremities  of  climate  and  every  vicissitude  of  fortune  ? 
Nay,  as  if  the  accessible  parts  of  the  globe  afforded  too  limited 
a  sphere  for  enterprise,  they  embrace  with  eagerness  every 
project  for  extending  their  boundaries.  To  the  insatiable  ardor 
and  indefatigable  perseverance  of  one  of  your  countrymen,  the 
Nile  first  disclosed  its  mysterious  source  ;  and  who  has  yet  for- 
gotten, or  remembers  without  the  applauding,  or  sympathetic 
sigh  of  deep  regret,  those  who  but  lately  went  out  from  us,  never 
to  return — those  who,  in  the  ardor  of  unconquerable  hope, 
promised  not  to  return  from  Afric's  burning  and  unfrequented 
wild  till  they  should  have  traced  for  us  the  pathless  windings 
of  the  howling  '  desert  through  which  the  Niger  rolls  its 
mighty,  and,  at  length,  explored  stream  ?  '  And  even  now, 


238  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

when  hope  seems  to  catch  enthusiasm  from  danger,  and  many 
thoughts  have  been  suspended  on  a  perilous  enterprise — when 
the  torrid  zone  darts  its  burning  rays,  and  the  northern  blasts 
burst  their  icy  fetters,  unlock  the  bars  of  imprisoned  seas,  and 
break  up  the  masses  of  its  tremendous  winter,  the  accumula- 
tion of  centuries — who  have  been  or  are  so  ready  as  Scotchmen 
to  dare  the  terrors  of  the  equatorial  summer,  or  the  deadly 
blast  of  the  nipping  Arctic  winter,  and  impel  their  adventurous 
prows  among  the  scorching  and  pestilential  tropical  heats,  and 
betwixt  the  floating  fields  and  frost-reared  precipices  that  guard 
the  secrets  of  the  Pole  ?" 

The  scientific  spirit  thus  eulogized,  characterizes  the  Low- 
lander  especially.  The  military  spirit  is  common  to  him  and 
the  Highlander  ;  if,  indeed,  it  do  not  distinguish  the  latter  in 
a  full  higher  degree.  The  blended  race  of  the  Saxon  and  the 
Gael  unites  all  the  manly  virtues.  They  are,  truly,  in  the 
•words  of  one  of  their  own  poets, 

"  A  nation  fam'd  for  song  and  beauty's  charms  ; 
Zealous,  yet  modest ;  innocent,  though  free  ; 
Patient  of  toil  ;  serene  amid  alarms  ; 
Inflexible  in  faith  ;  invincible  in  arms. ' ' 

And  here  we  close  this  slight  collection  of  Scottish  character- 
istics, for  which  the  writer  claims  little  more  credit  than  for  the 
inky  string  which  tics  them  together  ;  the  collection  might  have 
been  much  larger,  the  allusions  much  more  various.  It  is 
notable  that  people  generally  regarded  as  among  the  most 
hard-headed  should  be  so  redundant  in  pathos.  We  have 
referred  already  to  the  sweetness  of  Scottish  song,  its  strength 
and  manliness  ;  we  find  every  variety  in  Stenhouse's  "  Illustra- 
tions of  the  Lyric  Poetry  and  Music  of  Scotland  ;"  many  of 
them  are  among  the  most  prized  and  most  frequently  sung  in 
our  own  English  homes.  How  fine  is  the  spirit  of  that  song 
by  Alexander  Both  well,  Esq.,  M.P.,  of  Auchinleck,  "  The  Od 
Chieftain's  Farewell  to  His  Sons  :" 


NORTHERN    LIGHTS.  23'J 

"  Good-night,  and  joy  be  wi'  ye  a"  ; 

Your  harmless  mirth  has  cheer' d  my  heart  ; 
May  life's  fell  blasts  out-o'er  ye  blaw  ! 
In  sorrow  may  ye  never  part ! 
My  spirit  lives,  but  strength  is  gone, 
The  mountain  fires  now  blaze  in  vain  : 
Remember,  sons,  the  deeds  I've  done, 
And  in  your  deeds  I'll  live  again  ! 

"  When  on  yon  muir  our  gallant  clan 
Frae  boasting  foes  their  banners  tore, 
Who  show'd  himself  a  better  man, 
Or  fiercer  waved  the  red  claymore  ? 
But  when  in  peace— then  mark  me  there, 
When  thro'  the  glen  the  wanderer  came, 
I  gave  him  of  our  hardy  fare, 
I  gave  him  here  a  welcome  hame. 

"  The  auld  will  speak,  the  young  maun  hear, 
Be  canty,  but  be  good  and  leal ; 
Your  ain  ills  ay  hae  heart  to  bear, 
Anither's  ay  hae  heart  to  feel  ; 
So,  ere  I  set,  I'  11  see  you  shine, 
I'll  see  you  triumph  ere  I  fa'  ; 
My  parting  breath  shall  boast  you  mine, 
Good-night,  and  joy  be  wi'  ye  a.'" 

How  long,  amid  the  changes  which  are  passing,  not  only 
over  the  face,  but  through  the  very  heart  of  society,  the  Scot- 
tish character  may  retain  its  individuality  and  hold,  who  shall 
say  ?  The  Scotchman  travels  ever  the  face  of  the  earth,  but 
he  does  not  cease  to  remember  the  hills,  the  muirlands,  and 
lochs  of  his  country.  Some  months  since,  when  in  Boston,  in 
Massachusetts,  the  writer  was  requested  by  a  Scottish  corpora- 
tion to  give  an  oration  on  Burns,  and  he  was  surprised  to  find 
himself  addressing  a  multitude  in  Highland  costume,  with 
bonnet  and  plaid,  the  claymore,  the  spuggen  and  targe  ;  and  it 
did  not  seem  so  much  to  be  a  kind  of  child's  play  as  an  affec- 
tionate desire  to  seize  the  opportunity  for  putting  on  the 
garb  of  nationality.  But  Scottish  traditions,  and  legends,  and 


240  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

poetry,  they  do  not  seem  to  be  passing  out  of  date.  Judging 
by  the  number  of  editions,  cheap  or  costly,  of  his  works,  Sir 
Walter  is  now  read  as  much  or  more  than  ever  in  England,  in 
Australia,  in  Canada,  and  in  the  United  States.  The  life  of 
Scottish  legend  has  been  eloquently  expressed  by  a  recent 
writer,  in  language  the  eloquence  of  which,  as  we  cannot  im- 
prove, we  may,  perhaps,  without  being  regarded  as  guilty  of 
literary  theft,  be  permitted  to  quote,  and  so  give  a  Scotchman 
the  last  word  in  closing  the  volume. 

"  Happily  the  era  of  Blood  and  Iron  in  the  Borders  has  long 
since  passed  away  ;  but  the  age  of  Poetry  and  Romance  passes 
never.  The  cattle  on  the  crag  stands  tenantless  and  alone  ;  the 
knight  has  ridden  forth  to  return  no  more,  and  the  bower  of 
his  lady  is  deserted  and  still.  The  wave  of  the  Reformation, 
in  its  sweep  across  these  valleys,  has  carried  with  it  into  undis- 
turbed oblivion  the  lordly  abbot  and  all  his  brotherhood  of 
friars.  The  hammer  has  been  lifted  up  upon  the  carved  work, 
and  the  frail  yet  splendid  fragments  left  to  us  of  their  homes 
and  temples  are  the  sole  memorials  of  a  departed  hierarchy 
whose  word  cut  sharper  and  deeper  than  the  baron's  sword. 
The  cowled  priest  and  the  plumed  warrior  have  alike  disap- 
peared ;  the  book  and  bell  lie  mouldering  with  the  spear  and 
the  shield.  Only  the  minstrel  and  the  minstrel's  art  remain  to 
repeople  the  waste  places  of  the  past,  and  to  restore  to  us  the 
memory  of  the  men  that  are  no  more.  The  fugitive  rhymes 
and  fragmentary  ballads  of  a  bygone  age  have  been  collected 
and  pieced  together  by  skilful  and  loving  hands  ;  and  the  same 
spirit  of  varied  inspiration  which  gave  us  Kinmont  Willie  and 
The  Widow1 s  Lament,  has  flung  the  magic  folds  of  its  mantle 
round  such  singers  as  Scott  and  Hogg  and  Ley  den,  and  the 
world  has  hung  entranced  upon  the  music  of  their  song.  The 
wand  of  these  magicians  has  been  waved  across  the  tombs  and 
sleeping-places  of  departed  generations,  and  the  dead  in  grave 
shake  off  their  slumbers,  and  walk  with  us  again  in  the  light  of 
day.  The  dark  knight  of  Liddesdale  is  no  longer  a  thing  of 
dust  and  ashes,  but  still  rides  scowling  forth  with  lance  in  rest, 


NORTHERN"    LIGHTS.  241 

the  curse  of  the  dead  Dalhousie  lying  heavy  on  his  soul.  The 
wondrous  wizard,  Michael  Scott,  stirs  uneasily  beneath  the 
marble  in  Melrose  Abbey,  for  a  stronger  hand  than  his  has 
come  and  snatched  away  his  Book  of  Might.  The  Flower  of 
Yarrow  once  more  looks  forth  from  Dryhope  Tower,  and  the 
Maid  of  Neidpath  still  waits  for  her  lover  on  the  castle  walls. 
Johnny  Armstrong  has  survived  his  execution  on  the  Carlin 
Kig,  and  the  outlaw  Murray  may  still  be  heard  marshalling  his 
lawless  following  in  Ettrick  Forest.  St.  Mary's  Loch  lies 
hushed  and  still,  and  St.  Mary's  bells  have  long  done  ringing  ; 
but  the  brier  and  the  rose  still  '  meet  and  plait '  above  the  hal- 
lowed graves  of  the  hapless  lovers.  The  bride  of  the  dead 
Cockburn  still  sits  beneath  Henderland  towers,  sewing  his 
shroud  and  '  making  her  mane,'  her  heart  forevermore 
enchained  in  his  yellow  hair.  Lord  William  and  Lady  Mar- 
garet may  yet  be  seen  fleeing  for  life  by  the  Blackhouse 
heights,  and  *  lichtin  doon  by  the  wan  water, '  with  the  heart's 
blood  of  the  lover  still  reddens  as  it  flows.  The  apple  hangs 
as  of  yore  from  the  rock  in  Yarrow,  and  the  dead  maiden  veils 
•with  her  golden  locks  the  pallid  face  of  her  slaughtered  knight. 
The  hardy  moss-troopers  again  ride  forth  beneath  '  the  lee  light 
of  the  moon, '  waking  the  midnight  echoes  with  their  ghostly 
laughter.  Lord  Soulis  glares  from  his  castle  wall  in  Hermit- 
age ;  and  the  murdered  peddler,  all  '  mishackered  and  ghastly,' 
is  yet  moaning  and  groaning  under  Thirlestane  Mill.  The 
Baron  of  Smailholm,  as  cf  old,  rises  by  day  and  girds  his 
armor  on,  spurring  forth  with  sword  on  thigh  and  revenge  at 
his  heart  ;  and  ere  evening  close  the  bloody  work  is  done, 
and — 

'  The  Dryburgh  bells  ring, 
And  the  white  monks  they  sing, 
For  Sir  Richard  of  Coldinghame.' 

"It  is  such  mingled  memories  as  these,  standing  out  dim 
and  mysterious  on  the  tablets  of  tradition,  that  combine  with 
the  natural  beauties  of  the  district  in  weaving  that  exquisite 


242  SCOTTISH    CHARACTERISTICS. 

network  of  fancies  which  takes  the  imagination  captive.  The 
silver  Tweed  flows,  a  charmed  river  through  a  charmed  land. 
Every  league  of  its  course  is  marked  by  its  own  peculiar  associ- 
ations, and  every  tributary  stream  sends  down  its  added  quota 
of  poetry  and  romance.  The  Talla,  dashing  over  its  rugged 
linns,  brings  memories  of  the  slaughtered  Covenanters  to  whom 
Dundee's  dragoons  gave  bloody  burial  in  the  quaking  depths 
of  Talla  Moss.  The  Manor  Water,  circling  through  scenes  of 
sylvan  beauty,  tells  of  St.  Gordian  and  early  apostleship  among 
the  wild  yet  beautiful  hills  that  guard  its  source,  and  of  the 
later  mysteries  which  the  Author  of  Waverley  has  woven  round 
the  Black  Dwarf's  name  and  habitation  there.  Lower  down, 
the  Quair  '  runs  sweet  among  the  flowers,'  its  plaintive  mur- 
murs recalling  the  tears  of  Lucy,  as — 

'  Doon  the  lang  glen  she  gaed  slow  vri'  her  flittin', 
And  fare  ye  weel,  Lucy,  was  every  bird's  sang.' 

"  Dashing  from  the  broad  brown  slopes  of  Windlestrae  Law 
comes  the  Leithen  Water,  brimful  of  the  recollections  with 
•which  a  master- hand  has  restored  the  faded  glories  of  St.  Ro- 
nan's  Well.  Laden  with  the  burden  of  many  a  fairy  tale  sung 
by  the  Shepherd  who  now  slumbers  at  its  source,  the  Ettrick 
sweeps  down  between  its  shingly  shores,  bringing  with  it  the 
waters  of  the  mournful  Yarrow,  and  all  the  melancholy  of  its 
'  dowie  holms.'  Fronting  the  towers  and  turrets  of  Abbots- 
ford,  the  Gala  comes  rushing  from  its  far  recesses  in  the  hills, 
as  if  eager  to  make  its  exit  from  the  Valley  of  Woe.  From 
lonely  hills  that  overlook  Glendearg,  the  silver-voiced  Ellwyn 
brattles  along,  filling  -with  its  limpid  music  the  Nameless  Dean, 
and  many  another  nook  of  bosky  beauty.  Sweet  by  wooded 
height  and  pastoral  holm  glides  down  the  crystal  Leader,  bring- 
ing eerie  memories  of  haunted  Ercildoune,  and  fragrance  of 
yellow  broom  from  Cowdenknowes.  Past  Dryburgh  Abbey, 
where  rests  the  Mighty  Minstrel  in  his  dreamless  sleep,  and  we 
have  the  mingled  waters  of  the  Jed  and  the  Teviot,  reminding 


NORTHERN     LIGHTS.  243 

us  of  Branksome  and  Ferniehirst,  of  Minto  Crags  and  Hazel- 
dean,  and  of  many  a  doughty  deed  of  arms  fought  in  the  rough 
old  days  when  Buccleuch  was  lord  of  the  cairn  and  the  scaur. 
The  Tweed  is,  in  truth,  a  lovely  river  in  a  lovely  land  ;  and 
few  who  have  wandered  by  its  silver  tide,  and  mused  in  the 
deep  shadow  of  its  woods  and  glens,  can  fail  to  feel  in  after 
years  the  beauty  and  the  rapture  which  these  recollections 
awaken."  * 

*  "  The  Haigs  of  Bemenide  ;    A    Family    History."      By  James 
Russell.     1881. 


INDEX 


ABSENT-MINDEDNESS,  10;  mathematical, 

222 

ADVERTISEMENTS,  Humorous,  53. 
ADVOCATE,  The  profesclon  of  the,  132. 
ANDERSTON  Relief  C'hurch,  48. 
APPARITIONS,  Four  orders  of,  77. 
ASSOCIATIONS,     Historical,    legendary, 

and  natural,  241. 
AUCHENCROW.  184. 
"  AULD  Bawthren's  Sang,"  223. 


B. 

BAGPIPE,    Scottish,  311 ;   Italian,  216 ; 

origin  of  its  melodies,  216 ;   a  good 

story,  217. 

BALL-ROOM  scenes,  166. 
BARNARD,  Lady  Anne,  156 
BETTY'S  marriage,  38. 
BKTRWELL,  Alexander,  M.P.,  his  poem, 

239. 

BREWSTER,  Sir  David,  74. 
BROWN,  Dr.  John,  13. 
BURNS,  Robert,  proverbs  in  his  poems, 

176. 

BURTON,  John,  94. 
KITLEH,  Widow,  165. 


C. 

CANHT  humor,  26. 
CANONOATE,  Traditions  of,  139. 
CARLYLB,  Thomas,  bis  opinion  of  Dr. 

Lawson,  16  ;  his  estimate  of  Scottish 

character,  174  ;   his  nse  of  proverbs, 

176. 
CARBICK,  Robin,  57 ;  his  penuriousnese, 

59. 

CASUISTRY,  A  case  of.  191. 
CHALMERS,  Dr.,  11  ;  imposed  upon,  14  ; 

bis  mild  whiskey,  16. 
CHAMBERS,  Robert,  143. 
CIVILIZATION,  its  gains  and  losses,  44. 
CI.ERK.  John,  Chief  Justice,  117. 
CLUBS,  Drinking,  149. 
COCKBURN'S     memorials.    Lord,    114 ; 

sketches  hid  colleague.",  129  ;  pictures 

of  O.d  Edinburgh,  137. 


COLDINOHAM  moor,  183. 

COMMUNION  Sabbaths,  Scottish,  183; 
poem  on,  194  ;  in  Africa,  196. 

CONTRADICTIONS  in  Scottish  character, 
46 

CONVIVIALITY,  Scottish,  126 ;  in  Edin- 
burgh, 149. 

COURTSHIP  and  marriage,  A,  38. 

Cow,  The  intemperate,  128. 


D. 

DEATH  scene,  19. 

DEVIL,  The,  iii  Scottish  proverbs,  173. 

DIALECT,  Scottish,  The  humor  of  103 ; 
dying  out,  107;  difficulties  of,  109: 
a  poem  on,  109  ;  powerful  in  vowels, 
110 ;  of  use  to  the  student,  113. 

DREAMS,  Remarkable,  91. 

DRINKINO  anecdote,  61 ;  another  in- 
stance, 118. 

DROLLERY  ol  the  old  Scottish  minister, 
17. 


E. 


EDINBURGH,  its  ghost  stories,  83. 
EDINBURGH.  Old,  134 :   compared  with 

other  cities,  135  ;  noted  in  literature, 

137;  its  romantic  character,  150. 
ERSKINE,  Henry.  31. 
ER.ORINE,  Rev.  Dr.  John,  31 ;  his  even 

temper.  35. 
ESKGROVE,  Lord,  114. 
ETTRICK   Shepherd.  The,  107;  on  the 

Sabbath,  190. 


P. 

FAMILY  worship,  83. 
FATALISM  in  Scottish  proverbs,  177. 
FEMALE  bravery,  48. 
FEUCIITERSI.EBEN,  quoted,  65. 
FLATTP.RY,  Power  of.  225. 
FOOL,  The  Scottish,  228. 


246 


INDEX. 


G. 

GRANT,  Mrs.,  of  Laggan,  79. 
GRAY,  Andrew,  the  Moorish  leader,  140. 
GUTHRIE,  Dr.  M.,  on  the  Scottish  Sab- 
bath, 190. 

H. 

HAGGIS,  103 ;  Burns  on,  104. 
"  HEART  of  Mid-Lothian."  144. 
HEAVEN,  A  letter  from,  20, 
HODGE-PODGE.  104  ;  Bell  on,  105. 
HOME-LIFE,  19 ;  in  olden  times,  44 ;  a 

poem  on,  223. 
HONOR,  St-nse  of,  72. 
HOUNDWOOD,  the  haunted  house,  88. 
HUME,  David,  158. 
HUMOR,  Scottish,  83. 


I. 


IMAGINATION  and  superstition,  85. 
IMPERTURBABILITY.  Scottish,  63. 
INN,  An  old  Scottish,  235. 
INSCRIPTIONS  on  houses,  146. 
INTERNATIONAL  intercourse,  132. 


L. 


LADY,  The  old  Scottish,  151 ;  her  aris- 
tocratic character,  155 ;  poem,  on,  168. 

LAUDER,  Sir  Thomas  Dick,  66. 

LAWN  Market,  The,  143. 

LAWSON,  Dr.  George,  16. 

LAWYERS  and  law  courts,  114. 

LEGAL  lyrics,  203. 

LEGEND,'  The  life  of  Scottish,  240. 

LBIGHTON,  Robert,  109. 

LEYDEN,  John,  78. 

LITIGATION,  Love  of,  114 ;  not  exclu- 
sively Scottish,  132. 

LOCKHABT,  on  the  Scottish  minister,  12. 


M 


MACDONALD,  George,  107. 

MACLEOD,  Dr.  Norman,  6 ;  his  ready 
answer,  24  ;  his  story  of  a  snow  storm, 
163 ;  his  picture  of  a  Scotch  hater,  205. 

"  MARTYR.*,"  tune  of,  195. 

MEDICAL  profession,  its  humors,  54. 

MILLER,  Husrh.  75  ;  hit* ghost  stories,  78. 

MIND,  the  Scottish,  its  logical  charac- 
ter. 9. 

MINERALOGY,  not  appreciated,  28. 

MINISTER,  The  old  Scottish,  5 ;  his 
character,  7  ;  respect  paid  to,  11 ;  his 
drollery,  17  ;  his  devout  nature,  20. 

MODES  of  legal  procedure,  131. 

MONKEY  ntory.  A,  208. 

MORAY  House,  The,  142, 

Music.  Scottish,  210 ;  instrumental  mu- 
sic disliked,  218. 

"  MYSTIFICATIONS,"  152. 


N. 

NATURAL  scenery  and  popular  charac- 
ter, 200. 

NICHOLL,  Robert,  his  poetry,  55. 

'•NOCTBS  Ambrui^iauae,''  107;  charge 
against  Englishmen,  199. 

NORTHERN  Lights,  198. 


O. 

ORGAN,  The  prejudice  against,  25. 
OUTRAM,  George,  203. 


P. 


PARK,  Mungo,  77. 

PARLIAMENT  House,  The,  in  Edinburgh, 
131. 

PASTORAL  visitation,  9. 

PENURIOUSNESS,  illustrated,  57. 

PERSEVERANCE  rewarded,  181 ;  illus- 
trated, 182. 

PIG  story,  A,  109. 

PLEYDELL,  Scott's,  123. 

PRAYERS,  Rather  humorous,  32. 

PRIDE,  decent  and  moral,  55. 

PROVERBIAL  philosophy,  Scottish,  171. 

PROVERBS,  of  nations,  171 ;  their  de- 
cline. 172;  philosophical  character  of, 
173 ;  use  by  nov  diets,  173. 

PROVERBS,  Scottish,  fossilized  history, 
180  ;  their  beauty  and  religious  char- 
acter, 180. 

PSALMS,  The,  translated  into  Scottish, 
112. 

PUDDINGS,  106. 

Q- 

QUARANTINE  regulations,  148. 


R. 

KETICKNCE,  23. 

RUSSELL,  James,  quotation  from,  240. 


s. 


SABBATH,  The  old  Scottish,  190 ;  severe 
restrictions,  102  :  prosperity  connect- 
ed with  its  sanctity,  197;  beautiful 
pictures  of,  198. 

SAINT  Foud,  211;  his  opinion  of  the 
bagpipe,  215;  his  hotel  experience, 
233. 

SCANDINAVIAN  family,  The,  and  the 
Lowland  Scotch,  175. 

"SCOT,  The,  Abroad,"  94:  a  keen  tra- 
der, 96  ;  in  Sweden,  97  ;  in  Germany, 
97  ;  in  America,  98  ;  in  Turkey,  99 ; 
in  Prance,  100  ;  in  India,  101. 

SCOTLAND,  herstrength  in  "  The  Union," 
95 ;  her  grim  character  in  history,  147; 
her  grand  scenery,  199 ;  her  religious 


INDEX. 


247 


and  patriotic  association*,  300 ;    her  ' 
illii!-t  rums*  names,  202 ;   change*  and   . 
improvements  in, 230  ;  glowing  eulogy 
upon,  237 ;   scientific  spirit  praised, 
238 :  her  lyric  poetry,  238. 

SCOTT,  Sir  Walter,  his  use  of  proverbs, 
175  :  hie  perseverance,  182  ;  his  works 
increasing  in  fame,  240. 

SCOTTICISMS,  111. 

SCOTTISH  character,  how  made  up,  174; 
pugnacious,  202  ;  shrewd,  210. 

SERMONS  read,  prejudice  against,  13. 

SHAIRP'S  principal  poem,  15*4. 

SIIA  *  ING  on  i he  Sabbath,  191. 

SHEPHERD*'  nv-etings,  176. 

SINCLAIR.  Archdeacon,  164. 

SKINNER,  John.  5. 

SLOWNESS  of  character,  27. 

SMITH,  Adam,  212. 

SMITH,  Walter,  Dr.,  168. 

SNOW-STORMS,  Scottish,  IBS 

SUPERSTITIONS,  varieties  of,  74  ;  of  fish- 
ermen, 79  :  of  the  Highlands,  79  ;  on 
the  wane,  82. 

SWEDEN.  Scottish  legends  in,  96. 

SWEDISH  Sabbaths,  reeemblvuce  to  the 
Scottish,  194. 


T. 

TEA-TABLES  of  olden  times,  161. 
TEXTUAL  perplexity,  13. 
TITLES,  love  of,  indigenous,  86. 
TOLBOOTH,  Tue  old,  144. 
TRICKERY  outwitted,  69. 


U. 

UNCONSCIOUSNESS,  grim,  806. 


W. 

WADI-BLI.,  P.  Ha'ely,  LL.D.,  112. 

WEATHER,  a  subject  for  criticism,  49. 

WBIB.  Major,  83. 

WELLINGTON,  Duke  of,  204. 

WIG,  The  judge's,  120 

WITCHES  of  Edencraw,  The,  a  poem, 

185. 
WOLVES,  in  Scotland,  68  ;  the  last  one 

killed,  69. 


